Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men unfortunately, they are the property
Marvel. The song Blood of Me is by Heather Nova.
Author's Notes: This is my first ever attempt at an X-men story so I'll understand if you all think it's rubbish. It's sort of an alternate reality thing, my idea of what some of the x-men would be like in our world.
I really want to thank again everyone who's commented on the story so far, thank you so much. Really, really, really thank you all.
Blood of Me
Big ring around the moon
Gonna rain hard soon
I know you're gonna leave
It's like a storm inside
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
Though the sun had not yet risen light kissed the tops of the trees and the birds were twittering ceasely to each other. She sat down on the edge of the porch and waited to greet the day. As the sun broke the horizon silence descended as though time stood still for a moment. She breathed deeply in catching the scent of the new day. Dawn always smelt different from any other time, crisper, cleaner, fresher. As if the world had been reborn with each new sunrise.
She loved to watch the sun come up from her uncle's porch; she did every time she came home. How she loved coming home, home where she was just 'Ro, child, niece, surrogate daughter, where she was loved. Really loved, warmly, unquestionably, humanly loved. Not like at college in St. Louis where all they saw her as was this unattainable, unemotional goddess type, beyond their reach and beyond feelings. A Venus DeMilo sitting on her pedestal, cold and immovable as stone but she wasn't. She was blood and bone, skin and muscle, heart and soul just like them; she was human just like them.
Sometimes it was easier to be the aloof, cold goddess, so much simpler and safer to slip into that persona. It was so much easier than feeling if she didn't feel she couldn't hurt. Sometimes, usually at night in bed it would all catch up with her and she ended up crying for hours. So she rarely let her emotions show, rarely let her feelings through except when she was at home or dancing in the rain but even then she was a little afraid to, afraid that once she started to feel she couldn't stop and she would be swamped in pain and loneliness.
Yes, she was lonely, of course she was, maybe a goddess could survive in a solitary world but she couldn't. She craved love and affection and friendship but she feared it too. Her heart had been broken so badly now it was brittle, fragile, libel to fall to a million pieces at the slightest touch. She'd watched her shattered soul slide through her fingers too many times to ever want it to happen again.
Why do people change
When our hearts still beat the same?
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
I don't believe you when you tell me
I don't believe you when you hold me
I don't believe you, you're my medicine
I don't believe you when you fuck me
She pulled her legs up so she could rest her chin on her knees and closed her eyes listening to the early morning sounds. She felt sad, worse than that she felt weak. Everyone seemed to believe she was so strong but she wasn't, not really. She might put out this stony, 'I don't need anyone' attitude but inside she was screaming out for contact, longing for someone, anyone. Well no, that was a lie. Not just anyone, she longed for a pretty specific someone. As she thought that her eyes drifted in the direction of the nearest house to her. He was there; his mother had told her he would be there for the weekend, probably sharing a bed with his latest love.
She wished she could move on as easily as he had but the memory of that night was etched on her heart forever. Sometimes she thought things would be better if that night had never happened, at least then they'd still be friends. But she realised that would probably be even worse, having to watch him with his women keeping her feelings bottled up inside, never knowing either way if there was a chance for them, being his friend but constantly longing to be something more. At least now she knew, she had laid her cards on the table, taken her gamble and lost it all.
She could still remember the feel of his lips on hers when for that single moment it had seemed he wanted her too. Then he pushed her away and the world fell down around her. He'd used the whole I'm not good enough for you excuse but in truth it was the other way around, she wasn't good enough for him. He liked the always out of reach goddess, he liked the security that gave him. Goddess-forbid they got into a real relationship and he discovered she was a flawed human being like everyone else.
That was the real problem, he wanted the ideal, the perfect fantasy, not the woman behind it. That was what hurt the most. She had known him for so long she knew all his faults and failings and she loved him not despite those flaws but because of them. They were what made him human; they were what made him himself. The constant flirting, the cigarette smoke, his arrogance, the teasing, he wouldn't be Remy without those things. Not that they were the only things she loved about him. She loved the way he seemed to bring an energy to everything around him, his generous nature, his beautiful hands, all made him who he was, all made her love him and much as she had tried not to she did love him.
She had tried moving on and for a while she had thought she had at college. It had been different than with Remy; they didn't share the same understanding of each other but she had cared for him all the same. He had offered her everything, offered her forever but then as soon as he had got what he wanted from her he snatched it away again. Broken her heart and shattered her innocence, which was apparently what he had intended to do. It had been a game, take the virtue and destroy the innocence, shatter the illusions of the naïve little small town girl, show her the way the world truly was, show the guys he could get the girl that no one else could touch.
He'd played the game well. Though maybe not as well as he'd intended because she was still naïve though she recognised that now, still hoping that it will all work out in the end, that she'd be with the one she wanted, the one she loved despite it all. She realised it was nothing more than a nice dream, a nice fantasy, he didn't want her any more but a part of her, a part of her that refused to die still held on to hope.
She whispered his name into the early morning air, half wish, half prayer but knowing how truly hopeless it really was.
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
Big ring around the moon
Gonna rain hard soon
The End.
Author's Notes: This is my first ever attempt at an X-men story so I'll understand if you all think it's rubbish. It's sort of an alternate reality thing, my idea of what some of the x-men would be like in our world.
I really want to thank again everyone who's commented on the story so far, thank you so much. Really, really, really thank you all.
Blood of Me
Big ring around the moon
Gonna rain hard soon
I know you're gonna leave
It's like a storm inside
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
Though the sun had not yet risen light kissed the tops of the trees and the birds were twittering ceasely to each other. She sat down on the edge of the porch and waited to greet the day. As the sun broke the horizon silence descended as though time stood still for a moment. She breathed deeply in catching the scent of the new day. Dawn always smelt different from any other time, crisper, cleaner, fresher. As if the world had been reborn with each new sunrise.
She loved to watch the sun come up from her uncle's porch; she did every time she came home. How she loved coming home, home where she was just 'Ro, child, niece, surrogate daughter, where she was loved. Really loved, warmly, unquestionably, humanly loved. Not like at college in St. Louis where all they saw her as was this unattainable, unemotional goddess type, beyond their reach and beyond feelings. A Venus DeMilo sitting on her pedestal, cold and immovable as stone but she wasn't. She was blood and bone, skin and muscle, heart and soul just like them; she was human just like them.
Sometimes it was easier to be the aloof, cold goddess, so much simpler and safer to slip into that persona. It was so much easier than feeling if she didn't feel she couldn't hurt. Sometimes, usually at night in bed it would all catch up with her and she ended up crying for hours. So she rarely let her emotions show, rarely let her feelings through except when she was at home or dancing in the rain but even then she was a little afraid to, afraid that once she started to feel she couldn't stop and she would be swamped in pain and loneliness.
Yes, she was lonely, of course she was, maybe a goddess could survive in a solitary world but she couldn't. She craved love and affection and friendship but she feared it too. Her heart had been broken so badly now it was brittle, fragile, libel to fall to a million pieces at the slightest touch. She'd watched her shattered soul slide through her fingers too many times to ever want it to happen again.
Why do people change
When our hearts still beat the same?
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
I don't believe you when you tell me
I don't believe you when you hold me
I don't believe you, you're my medicine
I don't believe you when you fuck me
She pulled her legs up so she could rest her chin on her knees and closed her eyes listening to the early morning sounds. She felt sad, worse than that she felt weak. Everyone seemed to believe she was so strong but she wasn't, not really. She might put out this stony, 'I don't need anyone' attitude but inside she was screaming out for contact, longing for someone, anyone. Well no, that was a lie. Not just anyone, she longed for a pretty specific someone. As she thought that her eyes drifted in the direction of the nearest house to her. He was there; his mother had told her he would be there for the weekend, probably sharing a bed with his latest love.
She wished she could move on as easily as he had but the memory of that night was etched on her heart forever. Sometimes she thought things would be better if that night had never happened, at least then they'd still be friends. But she realised that would probably be even worse, having to watch him with his women keeping her feelings bottled up inside, never knowing either way if there was a chance for them, being his friend but constantly longing to be something more. At least now she knew, she had laid her cards on the table, taken her gamble and lost it all.
She could still remember the feel of his lips on hers when for that single moment it had seemed he wanted her too. Then he pushed her away and the world fell down around her. He'd used the whole I'm not good enough for you excuse but in truth it was the other way around, she wasn't good enough for him. He liked the always out of reach goddess, he liked the security that gave him. Goddess-forbid they got into a real relationship and he discovered she was a flawed human being like everyone else.
That was the real problem, he wanted the ideal, the perfect fantasy, not the woman behind it. That was what hurt the most. She had known him for so long she knew all his faults and failings and she loved him not despite those flaws but because of them. They were what made him human; they were what made him himself. The constant flirting, the cigarette smoke, his arrogance, the teasing, he wouldn't be Remy without those things. Not that they were the only things she loved about him. She loved the way he seemed to bring an energy to everything around him, his generous nature, his beautiful hands, all made him who he was, all made her love him and much as she had tried not to she did love him.
She had tried moving on and for a while she had thought she had at college. It had been different than with Remy; they didn't share the same understanding of each other but she had cared for him all the same. He had offered her everything, offered her forever but then as soon as he had got what he wanted from her he snatched it away again. Broken her heart and shattered her innocence, which was apparently what he had intended to do. It had been a game, take the virtue and destroy the innocence, shatter the illusions of the naïve little small town girl, show her the way the world truly was, show the guys he could get the girl that no one else could touch.
He'd played the game well. Though maybe not as well as he'd intended because she was still naïve though she recognised that now, still hoping that it will all work out in the end, that she'd be with the one she wanted, the one she loved despite it all. She realised it was nothing more than a nice dream, a nice fantasy, he didn't want her any more but a part of her, a part of her that refused to die still held on to hope.
She whispered his name into the early morning air, half wish, half prayer but knowing how truly hopeless it really was.
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
You're the blood of me
You're the truth that hurts
You're the memory
You're the drug that works
Big ring around the moon
Gonna rain hard soon
The End.