I've never been put behind bars before. Now my mother, however, she has. On
my tenth birthday I spent trying to talk her way out of there. Of course,
as I sit in the middle of this hole, I can't help but notice that I'm,
well, alone. I don't hear Vanessa trying to talk them out of letting me go,
no Becca here trying to cheer me up. I am utterly alone. I'm sure Vanessa's
busy with the lawyers…I mean, that's the most logical reason. I'm sure
that's it.
The guard comes to tell me I have a visitor. Is it my mother? Not unless she's young and beautiful, the guard tells me. Is it Becca? Then I hear a voice begin, and I know for sure it's not Becca. Far too snobby, self- centered, and pampered. Greenlee Smythe. Now don't get me wrong, I love that voice. She's my best friend; it's just the truth. She remarks on the obvious disgusting state of my cell. I offer a sarcastic retort, and she once again remarks about how un-Hilton like it is. I offer another sarcastic remark; I'm just not in the mood to banter with Greens right now.
"Not to worry," She tells me, handing me a bag.
"Emergency rations?"
"Double caps with extra foam and almond croissants," She tells me. Yes, Greens takes great care of me.
I give her a thank you, and she tells me that she's here instead of being with Ryan because she doesn't want to appear too 'clingy'. I bite back a comment on that one, but only because she was nice enough to bring me this stuff. It's too bad about that, though, seeing as it was real good one about already appearing clingy and borderline stalker.
"Where's Vanessa? I was convinced she'd be here forcing the chef from the Valley Inn to make you crepes for breakfast," She tells me.
"She's busy working out the particulars with the lawyers for my release. I'm sure she'll be here soon," She has to be. She's my mother, and she loves me. She wouldn't leave me in this hellhole for too long. She wouldn't do that to me.
Greenlee seems to accept that excuse, and moves onto our normal conversation. Borderline insulting banter, if only we could do it outside of this god-awful cell.
"You've got some croissant on your chin, stubble face. Don't they let you shave in here?"
"Well, I thought my mother was going to bring me a razor. I don't want to go into court looking like a bad mug shot," I admit. Going to court like that wouldn't help my case any.
"Hey, should I try Vanessa on my cell phone?" Greenlee offers.
"No, that's all right," I tell her. I appreciate the offer, I really do. I don't know why I don't take her up on it. Maybe it's that little voice inside my head, resembling David, repeating over and over that it was Vanessa that really killed Paolo. I shake it out of me. My mother can be manipulative, and a liar, but she'd never ever let me fry for something this big that she did.
She tells me I should be out of here all ready; now tell me something I don't know, Greens. I insist that it's just because she's trying to find me another lawyer, the one I had is Palmer's biggest shark, and this isn't some corporate merger, which is why I'm not using him for my murder trial.
She wants to know if it'll get that far, well the evidence is circumstantial…but if they want to hang me…Nope, don't want to go there, far too depressing. I just want someone that's going to get me off, and this guy is far too involved with Palmer.
"Well, your family's not the Brady Bunch, but Palmer must want you cleared for Vanessa's sake," Greens states.
"Not if he is actually the guilty party," I throw out there, matter-of- factly. I've never believed in holding anything back. It's a waste of time.
"You think Palmer did it?"
C'mon, Smythe, don't be that naïve. Does she not remember that I was dragged to Pine Valley against my will, drugged and being prepared to be set up for the murder of my own mother, because Palmer believed that I was her young lover? Mother was actually sleeping with Paolo; I wouldn't be surprised if he did it with out a second thought.
"Yeah. That's why he wants me to swing. And Hines will let that happen," I reply.
"How do you know that Palmer killed Paolo?" She inquires.
I don't have time to answer her because the guard's back.
"All right Du Pres," He tells me, "Time for your arraignment."
"Did Mrs. Cortlandant arrive?" I question.
"I don't know. She might be at the courtroom," He offers before turning to Greens, "So, miss, you going to go with him?"
I speak up, "No, it's ok, Greenlee. You've done your duty." Yeah, the one of being the only person in my life that actually gives a damn about me to come and visit.
"Sure, why not? Isn't this where you say you're not guilty?" She asks me.
"That's the idea, yeah," I reply.
"I'm coming. I want to see how innocent you can look," She tells me in typical Greenlee fashion.
"Yeah, well, that won't be difficult."
I sit through the arraignment, not really paying attention to the judge. Honestly, what's the point? I'm done in for, okay? Sometimes my eyes wander, and I look for mother. Vanessa's not here, I force to take a deep breath. There has to a very good explanation. Sometimes I catch myself looking at Greens. I sometimes forget what an amazing friend she can be. I know this town thinks that she's nothing but a spoiled, selfish, trust-fund baby, but she can be so much more. Situations like these, I really appreciate it. Wonderful, the bail is set at $750, 000. Watch out folks, dead man walking.
The guard and Greenlee walk me back to my cell. Call me spoiled, pampered, elitely raised, but I am never ever going to survive in prison. I mean I could barely survive school. Whenever the kids would start picking on me, Vanessa would show up, and whisk me away to our next destination.
"Now, Miss, I can only let you stay a few more minutes," The guard tells Greenlee.
"Thanks," She tells him, before focusing her attention back onto me, "Leo?"
"You know, Greenlee, they say that convicts can smell weakness. Think I can hold my own against the other inmates?"
"Oh, is that what we're calling it? How about a crushing defeat?"
"The bail did seem a bit much," She agrees with me. Thank you, Miss moneybags 2000 even thinks the bails high. But what did I honestly expect? I'm an accused murderer.
"$750,000. It's a little late for a bake sale. How am I going to come up with 10% of that?" I ask her. I never thought I'd be faced with a situation that I couldn't scam myself out of. Well, I now know why that they have that old saying about assuming.
"You don't have anything saved?" Greenlee asks me. I shoot her a look; of course I don't have anything saved. "Ok, ok, ok. What about your mother?"
"Oh, did you see her in court? Because I sure didn't."
"Palmer?"
"Greenlee, why don't you just run down the list of people who've abandoned me? Please," I snap at her. I don't mean to lash out at her, I really don't. But, I'm beyond a little depressed right now.
"You're right. I'm sorry. But in a crisis, they say nothing is as bad as it seems until you exhaust all your options," That's my girl speaking. Always the optimistic, with Greenlee you can twist anything around so it still seems like you still have a chance with getting what you want.
"You know, I was just thinking about that--my next options. You know, since I'm going to be here for a while, why not spruce up the decor?"
"Leo, stop," Greenlee warns me.
"No, really. I mean, this whole Japanese minimalist thing is so played out, you know? I mean, what should I be going for here?"
"Well, you know, you should repaint with something that'll go with the orange outfit they'll be putting you in," She joins in.
"Yeah, maybe I should start pumping iron," I suggest. Yeah, I'll need strength to fight off all the men arguing over who gets to make me their bitch.
"Well, if you really want to do the prison thing properly, you have to write a book," Greenlee informs me.
"Poetry."
"Oh, too '70s."
"All right, an autobiography, then. 'Leo Du Pres: True Story About a Man Left to Rot.'"
"Are you done?" Greens ask me. Okay, she's getting concerned; I guess I'm getting a little too carried away.
"Yeah, stick a fork in me," I say. Okay, it's time to get serious. Can't afford to alienate my only friend. "Hey, Greenlee, I will...I will never survive in prison."
"I know."
"I mean, it's not so bad when the guard walks by and, you know, I complain about the hospitality and I get a laugh out of him, but I know what they're thinking. They're thinking, "That guy is dead meat." And this place can get so quiet. You know, one night here and it's like falling into a black hole."
"Your own personal cosmic loneliness," She adds.
"Yeah, right here in cheery old Pine Valley."
"I know what that's like," she speaks up.
"You've never been in prison before, Greenlee," I point out, unless there's some sort of scandal that she has failed to tell me about.
"Oh, you don't have to, Leo. You know, I had a birthday a couple months ago?" She asks me.
Nope, I didn't. "Well, why wasn't I invited to the party?"
"There was none. There was nothing," She states.
"Well, when was it? I'll put it on the cell wall," I tell her. No need to add horrible best friend to my long list of accused crimes.
"February 22nd," She throws out at me.
Oh right, I vaguely remember that night. I'm a moron. She told me that I couldn't go, it was her…and then she broke off and said that it didn't matter. Okay, even an idiot could have read into that. Why must I be so stupid when it comes to the important stuff?
"Next year," I promise. Wait, that is if I hadn't been put to death through electrocution. "Maybe."
"You know what? I've got some errands to run. Guard? I'll see you later," She says suddenly.
"You know where I'll be," I tell her. Yup, rotting away in the Pine Valley prison. What a wonderful way to go.
We hook pinkies, a sign of our friendship.
"Thank you," I tell her sincerely.
She disappears from the cell and I'm alone again. That is until the guard returns, does this mean Mommy dearest finally appeared to visit her baby boy?
"Bye, Du Pres. Free to go. Well, as soon as we finish the paperwork," The guard informs me.
"Somebody paid my bail?" I ask. Okay, this is even better than Vanessa visiting me.
"Yeah, well, it looks like somebody likes you after all," The guard tells me.
Greenlee reappears, with a big smile on her face. My goodness, maybe there is a few specks of gold in that heart of hers.
"Listen, I only have a second. You can stay here and decorate or you can rejoin me in the civilized world," She informs me.
I'd have to be the biggest idiot in the world not to accept her bail money. I pick her up and twirl her around happily. I was never around long enough to make any friends, but I can't tell you how ecstatic I am right now to have Greens.
Greenlee Smythe, my own personal hero. Who'da thunk it?
The guard comes to tell me I have a visitor. Is it my mother? Not unless she's young and beautiful, the guard tells me. Is it Becca? Then I hear a voice begin, and I know for sure it's not Becca. Far too snobby, self- centered, and pampered. Greenlee Smythe. Now don't get me wrong, I love that voice. She's my best friend; it's just the truth. She remarks on the obvious disgusting state of my cell. I offer a sarcastic retort, and she once again remarks about how un-Hilton like it is. I offer another sarcastic remark; I'm just not in the mood to banter with Greens right now.
"Not to worry," She tells me, handing me a bag.
"Emergency rations?"
"Double caps with extra foam and almond croissants," She tells me. Yes, Greens takes great care of me.
I give her a thank you, and she tells me that she's here instead of being with Ryan because she doesn't want to appear too 'clingy'. I bite back a comment on that one, but only because she was nice enough to bring me this stuff. It's too bad about that, though, seeing as it was real good one about already appearing clingy and borderline stalker.
"Where's Vanessa? I was convinced she'd be here forcing the chef from the Valley Inn to make you crepes for breakfast," She tells me.
"She's busy working out the particulars with the lawyers for my release. I'm sure she'll be here soon," She has to be. She's my mother, and she loves me. She wouldn't leave me in this hellhole for too long. She wouldn't do that to me.
Greenlee seems to accept that excuse, and moves onto our normal conversation. Borderline insulting banter, if only we could do it outside of this god-awful cell.
"You've got some croissant on your chin, stubble face. Don't they let you shave in here?"
"Well, I thought my mother was going to bring me a razor. I don't want to go into court looking like a bad mug shot," I admit. Going to court like that wouldn't help my case any.
"Hey, should I try Vanessa on my cell phone?" Greenlee offers.
"No, that's all right," I tell her. I appreciate the offer, I really do. I don't know why I don't take her up on it. Maybe it's that little voice inside my head, resembling David, repeating over and over that it was Vanessa that really killed Paolo. I shake it out of me. My mother can be manipulative, and a liar, but she'd never ever let me fry for something this big that she did.
She tells me I should be out of here all ready; now tell me something I don't know, Greens. I insist that it's just because she's trying to find me another lawyer, the one I had is Palmer's biggest shark, and this isn't some corporate merger, which is why I'm not using him for my murder trial.
She wants to know if it'll get that far, well the evidence is circumstantial…but if they want to hang me…Nope, don't want to go there, far too depressing. I just want someone that's going to get me off, and this guy is far too involved with Palmer.
"Well, your family's not the Brady Bunch, but Palmer must want you cleared for Vanessa's sake," Greens states.
"Not if he is actually the guilty party," I throw out there, matter-of- factly. I've never believed in holding anything back. It's a waste of time.
"You think Palmer did it?"
C'mon, Smythe, don't be that naïve. Does she not remember that I was dragged to Pine Valley against my will, drugged and being prepared to be set up for the murder of my own mother, because Palmer believed that I was her young lover? Mother was actually sleeping with Paolo; I wouldn't be surprised if he did it with out a second thought.
"Yeah. That's why he wants me to swing. And Hines will let that happen," I reply.
"How do you know that Palmer killed Paolo?" She inquires.
I don't have time to answer her because the guard's back.
"All right Du Pres," He tells me, "Time for your arraignment."
"Did Mrs. Cortlandant arrive?" I question.
"I don't know. She might be at the courtroom," He offers before turning to Greens, "So, miss, you going to go with him?"
I speak up, "No, it's ok, Greenlee. You've done your duty." Yeah, the one of being the only person in my life that actually gives a damn about me to come and visit.
"Sure, why not? Isn't this where you say you're not guilty?" She asks me.
"That's the idea, yeah," I reply.
"I'm coming. I want to see how innocent you can look," She tells me in typical Greenlee fashion.
"Yeah, well, that won't be difficult."
I sit through the arraignment, not really paying attention to the judge. Honestly, what's the point? I'm done in for, okay? Sometimes my eyes wander, and I look for mother. Vanessa's not here, I force to take a deep breath. There has to a very good explanation. Sometimes I catch myself looking at Greens. I sometimes forget what an amazing friend she can be. I know this town thinks that she's nothing but a spoiled, selfish, trust-fund baby, but she can be so much more. Situations like these, I really appreciate it. Wonderful, the bail is set at $750, 000. Watch out folks, dead man walking.
The guard and Greenlee walk me back to my cell. Call me spoiled, pampered, elitely raised, but I am never ever going to survive in prison. I mean I could barely survive school. Whenever the kids would start picking on me, Vanessa would show up, and whisk me away to our next destination.
"Now, Miss, I can only let you stay a few more minutes," The guard tells Greenlee.
"Thanks," She tells him, before focusing her attention back onto me, "Leo?"
"You know, Greenlee, they say that convicts can smell weakness. Think I can hold my own against the other inmates?"
"Oh, is that what we're calling it? How about a crushing defeat?"
"The bail did seem a bit much," She agrees with me. Thank you, Miss moneybags 2000 even thinks the bails high. But what did I honestly expect? I'm an accused murderer.
"$750,000. It's a little late for a bake sale. How am I going to come up with 10% of that?" I ask her. I never thought I'd be faced with a situation that I couldn't scam myself out of. Well, I now know why that they have that old saying about assuming.
"You don't have anything saved?" Greenlee asks me. I shoot her a look; of course I don't have anything saved. "Ok, ok, ok. What about your mother?"
"Oh, did you see her in court? Because I sure didn't."
"Palmer?"
"Greenlee, why don't you just run down the list of people who've abandoned me? Please," I snap at her. I don't mean to lash out at her, I really don't. But, I'm beyond a little depressed right now.
"You're right. I'm sorry. But in a crisis, they say nothing is as bad as it seems until you exhaust all your options," That's my girl speaking. Always the optimistic, with Greenlee you can twist anything around so it still seems like you still have a chance with getting what you want.
"You know, I was just thinking about that--my next options. You know, since I'm going to be here for a while, why not spruce up the decor?"
"Leo, stop," Greenlee warns me.
"No, really. I mean, this whole Japanese minimalist thing is so played out, you know? I mean, what should I be going for here?"
"Well, you know, you should repaint with something that'll go with the orange outfit they'll be putting you in," She joins in.
"Yeah, maybe I should start pumping iron," I suggest. Yeah, I'll need strength to fight off all the men arguing over who gets to make me their bitch.
"Well, if you really want to do the prison thing properly, you have to write a book," Greenlee informs me.
"Poetry."
"Oh, too '70s."
"All right, an autobiography, then. 'Leo Du Pres: True Story About a Man Left to Rot.'"
"Are you done?" Greens ask me. Okay, she's getting concerned; I guess I'm getting a little too carried away.
"Yeah, stick a fork in me," I say. Okay, it's time to get serious. Can't afford to alienate my only friend. "Hey, Greenlee, I will...I will never survive in prison."
"I know."
"I mean, it's not so bad when the guard walks by and, you know, I complain about the hospitality and I get a laugh out of him, but I know what they're thinking. They're thinking, "That guy is dead meat." And this place can get so quiet. You know, one night here and it's like falling into a black hole."
"Your own personal cosmic loneliness," She adds.
"Yeah, right here in cheery old Pine Valley."
"I know what that's like," she speaks up.
"You've never been in prison before, Greenlee," I point out, unless there's some sort of scandal that she has failed to tell me about.
"Oh, you don't have to, Leo. You know, I had a birthday a couple months ago?" She asks me.
Nope, I didn't. "Well, why wasn't I invited to the party?"
"There was none. There was nothing," She states.
"Well, when was it? I'll put it on the cell wall," I tell her. No need to add horrible best friend to my long list of accused crimes.
"February 22nd," She throws out at me.
Oh right, I vaguely remember that night. I'm a moron. She told me that I couldn't go, it was her…and then she broke off and said that it didn't matter. Okay, even an idiot could have read into that. Why must I be so stupid when it comes to the important stuff?
"Next year," I promise. Wait, that is if I hadn't been put to death through electrocution. "Maybe."
"You know what? I've got some errands to run. Guard? I'll see you later," She says suddenly.
"You know where I'll be," I tell her. Yup, rotting away in the Pine Valley prison. What a wonderful way to go.
We hook pinkies, a sign of our friendship.
"Thank you," I tell her sincerely.
She disappears from the cell and I'm alone again. That is until the guard returns, does this mean Mommy dearest finally appeared to visit her baby boy?
"Bye, Du Pres. Free to go. Well, as soon as we finish the paperwork," The guard informs me.
"Somebody paid my bail?" I ask. Okay, this is even better than Vanessa visiting me.
"Yeah, well, it looks like somebody likes you after all," The guard tells me.
Greenlee reappears, with a big smile on her face. My goodness, maybe there is a few specks of gold in that heart of hers.
"Listen, I only have a second. You can stay here and decorate or you can rejoin me in the civilized world," She informs me.
I'd have to be the biggest idiot in the world not to accept her bail money. I pick her up and twirl her around happily. I was never around long enough to make any friends, but I can't tell you how ecstatic I am right now to have Greens.
Greenlee Smythe, my own personal hero. Who'da thunk it?