Dear friends,
I pen this missive to tender my profuse apologies for missing our meeting of yesterday, but when you have read the folowing account, I am certain you will forgive your ever humble servant.
I arose early with the sun and sprang eagerly from my bed. Unfortunately, I put my foot into my night chamber pot and became drenched from waist to toe. Having cleaned myself, I rinsed through my doublet and hose, then hung them over the balcony while I broke my fast. Whilst dining, I glanced through the window and saw a kite flying by. Such a pretty sight in yellow and green quarters rather similar to my doublet, I thought. I rushed to the balcony and saw that the kite was indeed my doublet, stretched upon a frame, with my hose affixed as a tail to the base.
I hurried down the stairs and snatched the kite from the two young ruffians who were flying it. However, at that moment, the mother arrived upon the scene. I remonstrated with her over the misconduct of her offspring, at which she nodded twice, cuffed each boy soundly across the ear, then turning back to me, kneed me violently in the privates.
When I could straighten up, I made my way back to my room, and applied a cold compress. After a short while my left gonad had returned to normal, but the right one had swollen to twice the normal size and gone numb. I quickly donned my doublet and hose, by now almost dry from the excursion into the heavens, and crossed the room to retrieve my boots. You may remember me telling you a few days ago of how I helped the goodwife in the rooms below me to drive a hook into her ceiling from which to hang a lantern. Did I not mention that the spike was rather long?
After some struggle, I disimpaled my right foot from the inch of spike protruding through the floor, and having dressed the wound, limped out of the house, by now rather late, I fear, to keep our appointment.
As I climbed the hill towards your abode, a hand came out from a narrow alleyway and dragged me in. I tell you, my friends, I did not give up my purse lightly, but give it up I did. I staggered back to the street, deciding not to go to the Watch. Partly because there was very little of coin in my purse, but mainly because I believed my assailant when he said that if I did, he would return to separate my ears from my head.
Time was now pressing, and as I still had some vision in my right eye, I hurried onwards to our meeting. You doubtless recall the lamp shop as you turn left at the top of the hill, the one with the large brassen lamp suspended outside, the one that can be lowered for cleaning?
The next two hours or so are a blank. Suffice it to say my next memory is of waking in my own bed with the sawbones leaning over me. He assured that the concussion should pass within a few days, and having bled me, left.
Therefore, dear friends, may I suggest that we postpone our meeting until the same time next week? Though if I am delayed, I beg of you to start without me, and do not wait for your ever obedient servant...
Godot.
***
A/N: This is not mine. My wonderful, demented dad decided it was high time that Godot's story was put forward.
I pen this missive to tender my profuse apologies for missing our meeting of yesterday, but when you have read the folowing account, I am certain you will forgive your ever humble servant.
I arose early with the sun and sprang eagerly from my bed. Unfortunately, I put my foot into my night chamber pot and became drenched from waist to toe. Having cleaned myself, I rinsed through my doublet and hose, then hung them over the balcony while I broke my fast. Whilst dining, I glanced through the window and saw a kite flying by. Such a pretty sight in yellow and green quarters rather similar to my doublet, I thought. I rushed to the balcony and saw that the kite was indeed my doublet, stretched upon a frame, with my hose affixed as a tail to the base.
I hurried down the stairs and snatched the kite from the two young ruffians who were flying it. However, at that moment, the mother arrived upon the scene. I remonstrated with her over the misconduct of her offspring, at which she nodded twice, cuffed each boy soundly across the ear, then turning back to me, kneed me violently in the privates.
When I could straighten up, I made my way back to my room, and applied a cold compress. After a short while my left gonad had returned to normal, but the right one had swollen to twice the normal size and gone numb. I quickly donned my doublet and hose, by now almost dry from the excursion into the heavens, and crossed the room to retrieve my boots. You may remember me telling you a few days ago of how I helped the goodwife in the rooms below me to drive a hook into her ceiling from which to hang a lantern. Did I not mention that the spike was rather long?
After some struggle, I disimpaled my right foot from the inch of spike protruding through the floor, and having dressed the wound, limped out of the house, by now rather late, I fear, to keep our appointment.
As I climbed the hill towards your abode, a hand came out from a narrow alleyway and dragged me in. I tell you, my friends, I did not give up my purse lightly, but give it up I did. I staggered back to the street, deciding not to go to the Watch. Partly because there was very little of coin in my purse, but mainly because I believed my assailant when he said that if I did, he would return to separate my ears from my head.
Time was now pressing, and as I still had some vision in my right eye, I hurried onwards to our meeting. You doubtless recall the lamp shop as you turn left at the top of the hill, the one with the large brassen lamp suspended outside, the one that can be lowered for cleaning?
The next two hours or so are a blank. Suffice it to say my next memory is of waking in my own bed with the sawbones leaning over me. He assured that the concussion should pass within a few days, and having bled me, left.
Therefore, dear friends, may I suggest that we postpone our meeting until the same time next week? Though if I am delayed, I beg of you to start without me, and do not wait for your ever obedient servant...
Godot.
***
A/N: This is not mine. My wonderful, demented dad decided it was high time that Godot's story was put forward.