1 Chapter4: The Truth Will Set You Free…
It was just before daybreak, and Van still hadn't come back with Hitomi. He had come back to the palace to get help to search for her about half an hour after sunset, and he, Miguel, and some soldiers had gone after her. Akiko and Merle had been awake all night with worry for the three of them, their faces sullen and concerned as they both paced Hitomi's bedroom. Every now and again Merle would glare at Akiko as she passed her by, and Akiko would glare back, not even knowing what she had done to make Merle so angry.
"What in Gaea is going on out there??!" Merle cried, not being able to take the tension anymore.
Akiko stared out the window, trying to find any sign of the search party returning. "I hope they find her," she replied sorrowfully.
Merle growled. "This is all YOUR fault!!" she shouted angrily. "If…if you hadn't been there then Lord Van wouldn't have had to kiss your hand and made Hitomi jealous!!"
"MY fault??!" Akiko retorted, whipping around to face Merle. "How can you blame this on me, you ragged little alley cat?? If it weren't for me, Hitomi never would have gotten back here!! It's not my fault that Van didn't even say hello to her!! What am I supposed to do, smack him and tell him to back off?!" She did like Van, granted, but…
Merle kept growling, though she knew Akiko was right. It wasn't her fault at all. But she just stuck her nose in the air and turned away. She sat on the bed, swishing her tail back and forth in her temper. "What do you mean, if not for you anyway? How did you even know about Gaea?"
Akiko, still quite angry that Merle could accuse her of such a thing, practically tore the pendant from around her neck and threw it onto the bed, next to Merle. "Does that answer your question?"
Merle picked it up and held it swinging in front of her face. She growled again and tackled Akiko, sitting squarely on her chest. "You little thief! This is Lord Van's!! Hitomi gave it to him!!"
"No…it's not!! That one was my mother's!!" Akiko sputtered, gasping for air. She snatched it out of Merle's hand and pushed her off. She stood over her and pulled the chain back around her neck. "That's how we got back. Now if you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss this anymore."
Both girls turned away haughtily, sticking their noses in the air and crossing their arms with a "Hmpf!"
But outside the room, peering through the door, which was slightly ajar, Damien de Branton was watching, and had seen the whole thing. He particularly had his eye on that pendant which Akiko held so close to her heart. Grinning to himself, he turned, his cloak swishing by. He strode down the hallway with quite the vote of confidence. "This is turning out to be much more in my favor than I had first planned," he said to himself. "Much more, indeed."
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"Over here, Miguel!" Van yelled out in the forest. "Hurry, I've found her!!"
Van was leaning over the unconscious Hitomi. He gritted his teeth as he gently pulled her into his arms. He was glad that he had found her, but was horrified to see that the huge cut on her forehead was still bleeding. Van balled his hand into a fist. He was disgusted with himself. Why didn't he just tell her the truth? She wouldn't have gotten hurt that way. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something ever happened to her…
Miguel rode up towards them, and blew a small whistle that hung around his neck as he did so. Soldiers soon followed, pulling their horses to a halt when they neared. Van stood up. "Miguel, head back to the palace. I'm taking her myself."
Miguel frowned, displeased, but only nodded. "Move out, men! We're heading home!" He and the rest of the search party galloped away, and were soon out of sight. Van tore off his shirt with one hand and with a kind of snap, a pair of beautiful white wings shot out of his back. "I don't care what Damien says," he told Hitomi as he bundled her up in his arms, laying his shirt over her to prevent her from getting cold. "Some rules are made to be broken." And with that, he took off into the sunrise.
Soaring through the air, Van had forgotten how free he felt when he took to the skies. Looking downward, he could see the search party racing like mad back to the palace. Van quickened the beat of his wings, flying ahead of them. He was sure to get there before they did. He circled the palace once, and ascended the east side, to the roof. He retracted his wings as soon as his feet hit the shingles, and using one hand, swung himself down onto a windowsill, then another, and another, until he reached his own room. Racing out the doorway, he dashed a short way down the hall, to Hitomi's room, where a surprised Merle and Akiko waited.
Van carefully laid Hitomi on the bed, wiping his brow. Akiko gasped at the wound on her forehead. Merle took off out the door, down the hallway, to get a doctor. Akiko stared at Van, questions in her eyes, but Van just turned away and said nothing. His breathing was broken and ragged, and he sat on the edge of the bed.
Akiko frowned. She sat on the edge of the bed on Hitomi's side and began to wipe away the blood with the cloth and the bowl of water that had still not moved since earlier that day. Though it kept bleeding, Akiko could see that the gash was quite big. And deep. The gleam of white bone could just barely be seen, before a flood of red engulfed it again. Akiko felt her stomach lurch, but didn't back away until Merle returned with the doctor, looking quite jostled and drowsy from just being pulled out of bed.
"Please, you will all have to leave," he said, readjusting a small leather bag that hung over his shoulder.
Akiko nodded, and headed out the door after Merle. Van turned to the doctor, a terrified look on his face. "Is she going to be alright?"
The doctor looked down. "I have no idea, my Lord," he replied sullenly. "Only time will tell." Van sighed, and walked slowly out the door as well.
"Lord Van," Merle asked softly, "are you alright?"
But Van didn't say a word, and just kept trudging back to his own room, head down, holding his shirt in one hand.
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Akiko returned to her room, dazed and very tired. She slumped onto her small bed, the downy mattress soft and inviting. She lay down, and started to cry into her pillow. Maybe coming back to Gaea wasn't such a good idea after all. If they hadn't come, Hitomi would be fine, sitting in the park with herself, Yukari and Amano while they all ate ice cream instead of lying on a bed unconscious with a huge gash on her forehead that looked like it might not stop bleeding. And Van…there was something definitely wrong with him. Akiko could tell he was hiding something. She'd always been able to tell that about people from first glance. She cried and cried, turning these thoughts over in her head until she just couldn't keep up the energy anymore and fell asleep.
As her sobs died down slowly, Damien straightened himself up in the hall. He was waiting for her to fall asleep. He crept in through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. He padded slowly over to the bed, where Akiko lay, fast asleep, her pendant hanging over her dress. Damien cupped it in his hand and grinned. But as he tried to gently slide it over her head, a flash of pink light shot from it. Damien was blinded, and stumbled onto the floor, making a lot of noise as he did.
Akiko woke with a start at the sound, her eyes darting around in the semi-darkness. "Who's there?" she called out, her voice wavering. "Who's there?? Show yourself, or I'll scream!!"
Damien stood up, brushing himself off. "I'm sorry that I woke you, Lady Akiko," he apologized. "It is I, Damien, one of the royal advisors."
"W-what are you doing in my room?" she stammered, pulling the sheets up to her nose.
Damien sat on the edge of the bed. 'Obviously I can't simply take it from her. This may take something a little more elaborate,' he thought. "Akiko, have you ever hated anyone before?"
"What's that to you?" she asked, lowering the sheets a little, her voice still laced with fear.
Damien cupped the small pink stone in his hand once more. "Haven't you always wanted to make your dreams come true?" he asked, ignoring her question.
"What are you getting at?" she said, eyeing him curiously. He was beginning to capture her interest, he could see, and he smiled.
"With this simple little pendant, everything you ever wanted could be yours," he said, turning it over in his palm. "Everything you ever hated could be erased form existence. All you have to do is wish it."
"What are you talking about?" Akiko asked. "What do you mean?"
Damien laid the pendant back against her chest, his hand brushing tantalizing against her bared cleavage. Akiko quickly covered it again, disgusted. "I mean that Van could be yours, Akiko, yours and yours alone. I know it's what you want. I can see it in your eyes."
Akiko looked away. "He…Hitomi loves him. It wouldn't be fair of me to…"
"Oh please!" Damien cried, throwing his hands in the air. "He says that he no longer loves that wench. Didn't he tell you? Why didn't he call off the arranged marriage for her? He is supposed to be married in a matter of days, true, but wouldn't it be grand if he called it all off, just for you, and only you? That he loved you so much, he totally forgot about this arranged marriage of his and wanted to make you his queen?"
Akiko looked at him for a moment. Van could be hers? With a simple wish, and that would be it? But what about Hitomi? She'd be so torn up inside when she found out. She just might do worse to herself than what had happened tonight…
"No," she said, closing her eyes tightly. "I…I do care for Van, but…I just can't."
Damien pulled her into his arms, hugging her close to him. "My dear Akiko," he said, stroking her hair. Akiko blushed, not really knowing what to say. "You poor, poor girl, tied down by the wants of others. You poor, poor girl…"
Damien started a sort of incantation. As he did this, he placed his index and middle fingers on her shoulder blade, and pressed lightly. An ancient symbol started glowing blue where he had his fingers. Akiko's eyes closed slowly as he kept chanting, and she eventually went limp in his arms.
Satisfied with his work, Damien laid Akiko down on the bed. He kissed her on the lips and smiled evilly. "Until tomorrow, m'lady," he said. "Sweet dreams." He laughed to himself as he stood and walked out the door.
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Meanwhile, Van sat on the edge of his large canopy bed, shoulders hunched, still naked from the waist up. With his face in his hands, he couldn't stop the tears from coming as he thought of Hitomi as he had found her, lying there facedown on the forest floor, her beautiful blue dress torn on tree branches from running, and the huge cut on her head, the blood…
Van balled his hands into fists and fell to his knees. He pounded on the wood beneath him so hard that it split in places. He screamed so loud that the dead would've sat up straight in their graves in fear. Why did he have to do this to her?! Why?!
Someone knocked on the door. "Leave me alone," Van mumbled, his voice hoarse. But the door creaked open slowly anyway, and Merle stepped in.
"Lord Van?" she asked, a mix of horror and concern on her face. He didn't reply. "Lord Van, please, tell me the truth. You still care for Hitomi, don't you? You have to if you're so torn up about this. Please, talk to me." She came over and crawled up onto the bed, her ears flat against her head as if she had been caught doing something wrong.
Van had started to sob again, his fists and hunched knees supporting him on the floor. "I let her down, Merle," he told the floor. "She came back to be with me, and I let her down. How am I ever going to live this up to her?"
Merle gulped. "I…I don't know if you're going to have a chance," she stammered.
Van jumped to his feet to face her. "What?! What do you mean, Merle?! She's going to be ok, isn't she?!" Merle didn't answer. "ISN'T SHE??!"
Merle turned her head to the side, her eyes closed. "The doctor said…he said that she might not pull through. She's had a really nasty blow to the head and…and we don't know if she's going to snap out of it." Merle chocked on her words.
Van just stood there, staring at Merle, mouth gaping. "She…she'll die?" Merle nodded slowly, tears seeping out of her closed eyes. "But…she can't!! She just can't!!" Van cried, grabbing his shirt off the bed and pulling it over his head. He ran out the door.
Merle looked out the window, staring at the sky as the sun peeked over the hills once more. "This can't happen…" she whispered.
Van bolted down the hallway to Hitomi's room, where the doctor was putting some things away in the little leather bag of his. When he saw Van, he bowed, quickly gathered the rest of his things and hurried out of the room. Van shut the door behind him, and sauntered over to the bed. Hitomi lay there, her head wrapped in clean bandages, dressed in a large white nightgown.
Van collapsed at the side of the bed, kneeling on the floor. He took Hitomi's hand in both of his and sobbed. "Hitomi, forgive me! I'm so sorry!!"
Hitomi didn't answer, just maintained her slight, rhythmic breathing. She didn't look peaceful as most comatose people did, as if something horribly wrong had happened to her. This just made Van cry even louder. "Don't leave me…Hitomi…" he whispered between sobs, laying his head on the bed, "…please don't leave me…"
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Hitomi awoke to find herself lying in the forest, where she had landed. How long had she been out? She sat up and held her aching head. She looked around through blurry, unfocused eyes. Gazing skyward, she saw the mystic moon in the sky, her home, Earth. 'How are Yukari and Amano doing right now?' she wondered, letting her thoughts wander.
She stood up and began walking. In no time at all, she was by the lakeshore where Van had taken her. Yes, Van had taken her there on horseback to talk to her about something. About…
But she couldn't for the life of her remember what it was. All she knew now was that she was alone. Where was he, anyway? He hadn't left her, had he? All alone in this strange forest…
Hitomi sat down to try and figure out what had happened. She thought hard, back to when they arrived. They were yelling at each other…they were fighting. Yes, that was it. They were arguing about how he had kissed Akiko's hand! And…Hitomi's face sunk as she remembered…he told her that he was getting married. In 4 days. "No…" she said quietly. "It can't be…" She pulled her knees to her face and hugged them, sobbing.
It was just before daybreak, and Van still hadn't come back with Hitomi. He had come back to the palace to get help to search for her about half an hour after sunset, and he, Miguel, and some soldiers had gone after her. Akiko and Merle had been awake all night with worry for the three of them, their faces sullen and concerned as they both paced Hitomi's bedroom. Every now and again Merle would glare at Akiko as she passed her by, and Akiko would glare back, not even knowing what she had done to make Merle so angry.
"What in Gaea is going on out there??!" Merle cried, not being able to take the tension anymore.
Akiko stared out the window, trying to find any sign of the search party returning. "I hope they find her," she replied sorrowfully.
Merle growled. "This is all YOUR fault!!" she shouted angrily. "If…if you hadn't been there then Lord Van wouldn't have had to kiss your hand and made Hitomi jealous!!"
"MY fault??!" Akiko retorted, whipping around to face Merle. "How can you blame this on me, you ragged little alley cat?? If it weren't for me, Hitomi never would have gotten back here!! It's not my fault that Van didn't even say hello to her!! What am I supposed to do, smack him and tell him to back off?!" She did like Van, granted, but…
Merle kept growling, though she knew Akiko was right. It wasn't her fault at all. But she just stuck her nose in the air and turned away. She sat on the bed, swishing her tail back and forth in her temper. "What do you mean, if not for you anyway? How did you even know about Gaea?"
Akiko, still quite angry that Merle could accuse her of such a thing, practically tore the pendant from around her neck and threw it onto the bed, next to Merle. "Does that answer your question?"
Merle picked it up and held it swinging in front of her face. She growled again and tackled Akiko, sitting squarely on her chest. "You little thief! This is Lord Van's!! Hitomi gave it to him!!"
"No…it's not!! That one was my mother's!!" Akiko sputtered, gasping for air. She snatched it out of Merle's hand and pushed her off. She stood over her and pulled the chain back around her neck. "That's how we got back. Now if you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss this anymore."
Both girls turned away haughtily, sticking their noses in the air and crossing their arms with a "Hmpf!"
But outside the room, peering through the door, which was slightly ajar, Damien de Branton was watching, and had seen the whole thing. He particularly had his eye on that pendant which Akiko held so close to her heart. Grinning to himself, he turned, his cloak swishing by. He strode down the hallway with quite the vote of confidence. "This is turning out to be much more in my favor than I had first planned," he said to himself. "Much more, indeed."
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"Over here, Miguel!" Van yelled out in the forest. "Hurry, I've found her!!"
Van was leaning over the unconscious Hitomi. He gritted his teeth as he gently pulled her into his arms. He was glad that he had found her, but was horrified to see that the huge cut on her forehead was still bleeding. Van balled his hand into a fist. He was disgusted with himself. Why didn't he just tell her the truth? She wouldn't have gotten hurt that way. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something ever happened to her…
Miguel rode up towards them, and blew a small whistle that hung around his neck as he did so. Soldiers soon followed, pulling their horses to a halt when they neared. Van stood up. "Miguel, head back to the palace. I'm taking her myself."
Miguel frowned, displeased, but only nodded. "Move out, men! We're heading home!" He and the rest of the search party galloped away, and were soon out of sight. Van tore off his shirt with one hand and with a kind of snap, a pair of beautiful white wings shot out of his back. "I don't care what Damien says," he told Hitomi as he bundled her up in his arms, laying his shirt over her to prevent her from getting cold. "Some rules are made to be broken." And with that, he took off into the sunrise.
Soaring through the air, Van had forgotten how free he felt when he took to the skies. Looking downward, he could see the search party racing like mad back to the palace. Van quickened the beat of his wings, flying ahead of them. He was sure to get there before they did. He circled the palace once, and ascended the east side, to the roof. He retracted his wings as soon as his feet hit the shingles, and using one hand, swung himself down onto a windowsill, then another, and another, until he reached his own room. Racing out the doorway, he dashed a short way down the hall, to Hitomi's room, where a surprised Merle and Akiko waited.
Van carefully laid Hitomi on the bed, wiping his brow. Akiko gasped at the wound on her forehead. Merle took off out the door, down the hallway, to get a doctor. Akiko stared at Van, questions in her eyes, but Van just turned away and said nothing. His breathing was broken and ragged, and he sat on the edge of the bed.
Akiko frowned. She sat on the edge of the bed on Hitomi's side and began to wipe away the blood with the cloth and the bowl of water that had still not moved since earlier that day. Though it kept bleeding, Akiko could see that the gash was quite big. And deep. The gleam of white bone could just barely be seen, before a flood of red engulfed it again. Akiko felt her stomach lurch, but didn't back away until Merle returned with the doctor, looking quite jostled and drowsy from just being pulled out of bed.
"Please, you will all have to leave," he said, readjusting a small leather bag that hung over his shoulder.
Akiko nodded, and headed out the door after Merle. Van turned to the doctor, a terrified look on his face. "Is she going to be alright?"
The doctor looked down. "I have no idea, my Lord," he replied sullenly. "Only time will tell." Van sighed, and walked slowly out the door as well.
"Lord Van," Merle asked softly, "are you alright?"
But Van didn't say a word, and just kept trudging back to his own room, head down, holding his shirt in one hand.
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Akiko returned to her room, dazed and very tired. She slumped onto her small bed, the downy mattress soft and inviting. She lay down, and started to cry into her pillow. Maybe coming back to Gaea wasn't such a good idea after all. If they hadn't come, Hitomi would be fine, sitting in the park with herself, Yukari and Amano while they all ate ice cream instead of lying on a bed unconscious with a huge gash on her forehead that looked like it might not stop bleeding. And Van…there was something definitely wrong with him. Akiko could tell he was hiding something. She'd always been able to tell that about people from first glance. She cried and cried, turning these thoughts over in her head until she just couldn't keep up the energy anymore and fell asleep.
As her sobs died down slowly, Damien straightened himself up in the hall. He was waiting for her to fall asleep. He crept in through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. He padded slowly over to the bed, where Akiko lay, fast asleep, her pendant hanging over her dress. Damien cupped it in his hand and grinned. But as he tried to gently slide it over her head, a flash of pink light shot from it. Damien was blinded, and stumbled onto the floor, making a lot of noise as he did.
Akiko woke with a start at the sound, her eyes darting around in the semi-darkness. "Who's there?" she called out, her voice wavering. "Who's there?? Show yourself, or I'll scream!!"
Damien stood up, brushing himself off. "I'm sorry that I woke you, Lady Akiko," he apologized. "It is I, Damien, one of the royal advisors."
"W-what are you doing in my room?" she stammered, pulling the sheets up to her nose.
Damien sat on the edge of the bed. 'Obviously I can't simply take it from her. This may take something a little more elaborate,' he thought. "Akiko, have you ever hated anyone before?"
"What's that to you?" she asked, lowering the sheets a little, her voice still laced with fear.
Damien cupped the small pink stone in his hand once more. "Haven't you always wanted to make your dreams come true?" he asked, ignoring her question.
"What are you getting at?" she said, eyeing him curiously. He was beginning to capture her interest, he could see, and he smiled.
"With this simple little pendant, everything you ever wanted could be yours," he said, turning it over in his palm. "Everything you ever hated could be erased form existence. All you have to do is wish it."
"What are you talking about?" Akiko asked. "What do you mean?"
Damien laid the pendant back against her chest, his hand brushing tantalizing against her bared cleavage. Akiko quickly covered it again, disgusted. "I mean that Van could be yours, Akiko, yours and yours alone. I know it's what you want. I can see it in your eyes."
Akiko looked away. "He…Hitomi loves him. It wouldn't be fair of me to…"
"Oh please!" Damien cried, throwing his hands in the air. "He says that he no longer loves that wench. Didn't he tell you? Why didn't he call off the arranged marriage for her? He is supposed to be married in a matter of days, true, but wouldn't it be grand if he called it all off, just for you, and only you? That he loved you so much, he totally forgot about this arranged marriage of his and wanted to make you his queen?"
Akiko looked at him for a moment. Van could be hers? With a simple wish, and that would be it? But what about Hitomi? She'd be so torn up inside when she found out. She just might do worse to herself than what had happened tonight…
"No," she said, closing her eyes tightly. "I…I do care for Van, but…I just can't."
Damien pulled her into his arms, hugging her close to him. "My dear Akiko," he said, stroking her hair. Akiko blushed, not really knowing what to say. "You poor, poor girl, tied down by the wants of others. You poor, poor girl…"
Damien started a sort of incantation. As he did this, he placed his index and middle fingers on her shoulder blade, and pressed lightly. An ancient symbol started glowing blue where he had his fingers. Akiko's eyes closed slowly as he kept chanting, and she eventually went limp in his arms.
Satisfied with his work, Damien laid Akiko down on the bed. He kissed her on the lips and smiled evilly. "Until tomorrow, m'lady," he said. "Sweet dreams." He laughed to himself as he stood and walked out the door.
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Meanwhile, Van sat on the edge of his large canopy bed, shoulders hunched, still naked from the waist up. With his face in his hands, he couldn't stop the tears from coming as he thought of Hitomi as he had found her, lying there facedown on the forest floor, her beautiful blue dress torn on tree branches from running, and the huge cut on her head, the blood…
Van balled his hands into fists and fell to his knees. He pounded on the wood beneath him so hard that it split in places. He screamed so loud that the dead would've sat up straight in their graves in fear. Why did he have to do this to her?! Why?!
Someone knocked on the door. "Leave me alone," Van mumbled, his voice hoarse. But the door creaked open slowly anyway, and Merle stepped in.
"Lord Van?" she asked, a mix of horror and concern on her face. He didn't reply. "Lord Van, please, tell me the truth. You still care for Hitomi, don't you? You have to if you're so torn up about this. Please, talk to me." She came over and crawled up onto the bed, her ears flat against her head as if she had been caught doing something wrong.
Van had started to sob again, his fists and hunched knees supporting him on the floor. "I let her down, Merle," he told the floor. "She came back to be with me, and I let her down. How am I ever going to live this up to her?"
Merle gulped. "I…I don't know if you're going to have a chance," she stammered.
Van jumped to his feet to face her. "What?! What do you mean, Merle?! She's going to be ok, isn't she?!" Merle didn't answer. "ISN'T SHE??!"
Merle turned her head to the side, her eyes closed. "The doctor said…he said that she might not pull through. She's had a really nasty blow to the head and…and we don't know if she's going to snap out of it." Merle chocked on her words.
Van just stood there, staring at Merle, mouth gaping. "She…she'll die?" Merle nodded slowly, tears seeping out of her closed eyes. "But…she can't!! She just can't!!" Van cried, grabbing his shirt off the bed and pulling it over his head. He ran out the door.
Merle looked out the window, staring at the sky as the sun peeked over the hills once more. "This can't happen…" she whispered.
Van bolted down the hallway to Hitomi's room, where the doctor was putting some things away in the little leather bag of his. When he saw Van, he bowed, quickly gathered the rest of his things and hurried out of the room. Van shut the door behind him, and sauntered over to the bed. Hitomi lay there, her head wrapped in clean bandages, dressed in a large white nightgown.
Van collapsed at the side of the bed, kneeling on the floor. He took Hitomi's hand in both of his and sobbed. "Hitomi, forgive me! I'm so sorry!!"
Hitomi didn't answer, just maintained her slight, rhythmic breathing. She didn't look peaceful as most comatose people did, as if something horribly wrong had happened to her. This just made Van cry even louder. "Don't leave me…Hitomi…" he whispered between sobs, laying his head on the bed, "…please don't leave me…"
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Hitomi awoke to find herself lying in the forest, where she had landed. How long had she been out? She sat up and held her aching head. She looked around through blurry, unfocused eyes. Gazing skyward, she saw the mystic moon in the sky, her home, Earth. 'How are Yukari and Amano doing right now?' she wondered, letting her thoughts wander.
She stood up and began walking. In no time at all, she was by the lakeshore where Van had taken her. Yes, Van had taken her there on horseback to talk to her about something. About…
But she couldn't for the life of her remember what it was. All she knew now was that she was alone. Where was he, anyway? He hadn't left her, had he? All alone in this strange forest…
Hitomi sat down to try and figure out what had happened. She thought hard, back to when they arrived. They were yelling at each other…they were fighting. Yes, that was it. They were arguing about how he had kissed Akiko's hand! And…Hitomi's face sunk as she remembered…he told her that he was getting married. In 4 days. "No…" she said quietly. "It can't be…" She pulled her knees to her face and hugged them, sobbing.