Daydream Believer 3/6
Rated PG


He couldn't sleep.

Even if he tried, he just couldn't.

Nothing had been the same since that one night. He was looking forward to seeing Serenity again and spending more time with her.

But three weeks ago, the dreams stopped.

****

Mamoru had tried everything in his power, but nothing had worked. No sleep, no dreams, and the most disappointing thing of all, no Serenity.

He had promised to her that he would see her again, and now he couldn't keep that promise, even if his life depended on it! Mamoru buried his face in his hands, berating himself for being such a weakling, for not trying as hard as he could have.

To be honest, he didn't know why he wanted to go back into that dream world so much. Perhaps it was his growing desire to see Serenity again, or maybe even something else. It had become a part of him now, something he expected to happen at least every other night. But this loss had left him feeling tired, empty and alone. Very alone.

As the days passed and nothing happened, Mamoru drew back further and further, until he was but a shell of his former self. Nothing helped. Food didn't interest him, but he ate enough to satisfy his qualming stomach. He hadn't seen the sun in nearly a week and refused to leave his apartment, even for work.

In the beginning, he knew that he couldn't go to work looking and feeling the way he did, so he requested time off, saying that he would be gone a week at the most. But when that week turned into two and then into three, the calls started coming. But Mamoru didn't answer the phone. He just let the messages build up, until they began recording over each other.

He stopped caring about almost everything. All that mattered to him right now was having another dream, at least one more time, just so he could see her again. Every time he wanted to learn something about her or her home, they were always cut off by the light that ended his dreams. Just once, he wanted to stay there longer than one night.

To hell with the fact that he barely knew Serenity. He wanted to see her again, hear her voice again, see her face, touch her... but without the dreams, he couldn't sleep. And without any sleep, he couldn't return to his dreams. And so the vicious cycle began to tear him apart.

****

"Mamoru?" Motoki called out, knocking on his friend's door. He hadn't heard a word from him the last couple of weeks, and now Motoki was beginning to get really worried. Mamoru was not the type of person to completely shut himself away from his close friends, though he had been known to do it once or twice when he was younger. But Motoki was sure he had changes since then.

He knocked again. "Are you in there, Mamoru? Everyone's worried about you. If you don't open this door, I'm going to force my way in."

"It's open." A voice from the other side spoke so low that Motoki had to press his ear to the door to hear it clearly. Motoki walked into the dimmed apartment, concerned for his best friend. As he came into the living room and looked out at the balcony, he was shocked at what he saw.

Shadowed by the setting sun, Mamoru sat in the recliner next to the window, still as air. His clothes were wrinkled beyond recognition and his face was hidden by a week's growth of stubble.

"Mamoru... what in the name of high heaven have you done to yourself? One of your colleagues at the hospital called me because he couldn't get a hold of you. What have you been doing all this time? When was the last time you got out of that chair? And when was the last time you got any sleep? You look horrible!"

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Motoki," Mamoru replied dryly. "I know exactly how I look and feel, because it's been the same way for the last three weeks. I want to put myself out of my misery."

"What?" his friend bellowed. "How... how can you say something like that? You want to end your life? What's happened to you to make you think like this? Give me some answers, Mamoru!" Motoki finished, his voice raising as he began to panic.

"If I had some answers to give you, I would!" Mamoru shot back, rising out of the chair. He suddenly felt weak and fell to the floor, pounding it in frustration. "It's not fair... all I want is to sleep, to dream... to go back there... and be with her..."

Motoki stared in disbelief at his friend lying in a crumpled heap in the floor. This was not the Mamoru he knew. "Snap out of it, Mamoru. You're starting to scare me."

"I can't help it Motoki. I haven't been able to sleep for the last three weeks, which means I haven't been able to dream either. And when I dream, I get to see her..."

"'Her?'" He echoed. "You mean all of this is over some girl? You've got to be kidding, Mamoru. I've never seen you get this worked up over some girl, especially one that only exists in a dream..."

"You're wrong, Motoki! She doesn't just exist in the dream. I know she's real. She has to be! Just because I only see her when I dream doesn't mean anything."

Motoki sighed. "You're deluding yourself. If you can only see her when you dream, that means she only exists--"

"NO!" Mamoru shouted, cutting him off. "It's not true... I know she's real... You have no idea what I've been going through these last few weeks. I don't even know why I want to see her so badly. I hardly even know her. There's just something that makes me want to see her again. "

Reaching forward to pull his friend up off the floor, Motoki looked at Mamoru quizzically. "All right... since you're so sure about all this. What makes you think she's real?"

Mamoru stared at Motoki solemnly. "Because I've met her, spoken to her, seen her with my own eyes, touched her... if it was only a dream, I wouldn't have those things."

Motoki sighed. "Are you sure you're not going crazy?" Mamoru finally cracked a smile. "I think I'm long past that point. I left sanity the day I started having these dreams."

"Wait a minute. Are these the same dreams you told me about that one day at the cafe?"

"The one and the same," Mamoru affirmed. "At first, I didn't pay any attention to it, figuring it would go away after a while. But it didn't. The same dream kept reoccurring, progressing further and further each night. It became so consistent that I expected it to happen whenever I fell asleep, day or night.

"Everything changed when I ran into her. At first, she played her attitude and her class to its fullest, but then she began to warm up to me, and I to her. It wasn't until I actually felt the breeze on my face and saw the Earth hanging in the sky behind me that I realized that this was all too real to be just a dream. Serenity was too real to be only a dream..."

"Hold on, back up there. Did you say you saw the Earth hanging in the sky?'" Motoki was beyond stunned. Mamoru nodded. "It was a shock to find out that I was standing on the Moon, gazing back at the Earth. But it gets better. I had found myself in the royal gardens of the Moon with its princess. Serenity may be a little young, but I can already tell she will be a competent ruler."

Motoki shook his head. "I think you lost me back at the part where you said you were standing on the Moon. What have you been eating before you go to sleep?"

Mamoru shot a look at his friend. "I know you probably don't believe a single word I've said tonight, but I assure you, it's all true, from seeing the Earth to meeting Serenity. It all happened." He sighed. "I just hope it's not over yet."

"I'd better get going, Mamoru. I'm just glad to see you back to normal... sort of. Please, try to get to some sleep, whether or not you have your dreams." Motoki moved to leave. "Come by the cafe when you're feeling like yourself again."

Mamoru smiled. "I will, Motoki. Thank you for being concerned and helping me though this." As Motoki left the apartment, Mamoru rubbed his face with his hands and sighed. Three weeks of sleeplessness was starting to get to him and he knew that dreams or no dreams, he had to get some sleep.

Stifling a yawn, he trudged back to his bedroom and lay down on the soft bed, staring blankly at his ceiling. As hard as he tried, sleep did not come easy to him anymore. But Mamoru slowly began to accept the fact the chances of ever seeing Serenity again were slim to none. He rolled over onto his side and gazed out the window. The lights and noises combined started to make him groggy, and finally he closed his eyes, knowing that tonight would not be one filled with dreams.

Sometime during the night Mamoru awoke subconsciously from his deep sleep, thinking it was only in his head. He swore that he heard Serenity's voice crying out for him, as if she was searching for him. He tried to answer back but he couldn't make his voice loud enough. Mamoru knew he had to stop hoping, stop trying to make his dream world reappear. The pain and the memories were just too much to bear. Finally, breaking any ties he had left with that world, he opened his eyes and looked around his dim bedroom...

And into another pair of blue eyes.