Disclaimer: Fortunately for me, I do not own the X-Men. I can't handle that amount of responsibility. But, all the Juventud are my creations and therefore belong to me. Just try and steal 'em. I've been wondering what Ruckus the Bad Kitty can do when she's really mad.
Author's note: The lyrics in this chapter are not copyright to me, but to Linkin Park. The first one is By Myself, and the second is Runaway. By the way, * means personal, internal thoughts.
I'm giving this an R rating for language and possibly other stuff to come.
I guess this has to be an Alternate Universe story, cause it's pretty much my own little world. No X-Treme, no Ultimate, Remy did the whole Antarctica thing, but I'm not sure about the rest of the Gambit title. Oh well. We'll see how it goes.
"What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams,
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?"
Jason stood alone on stage, a dim spotlight bringing out a gleam in his chocolate skin and a menacing glint in his soulful brown eyes. His entire stance, come to think of it, forcefully called to life dangerous feelings of incrimination, agony, and anguish. His tall, muscular frame invoked an ominous presence, and his clear, strong voice jabbed the questions at the members of the audience, demanding answers.
Jazmin was awed by his confidence and skill. She sighed thoughtfully, letting the sound of Aussie's beloved guitar wash over her.
Thankfully, Zack had recovered from his near panic in time to scarf down a quick bite of dinner leftovers and hightail it to Harry's Hideaway. The bar had dedicated Thursday nights to the local youth, and Jazz had easily gotten the boys the gig as musical entertainment. This wasn't their usual setup, though. There was no sign of Zack anywhere.
Junior joined the mix on drums, and Steve filled in on bass. Despite being a complete asshole, Steve was a great bass player. Not a candle to Simon, Jazz thought with a wistful longing for the strong, quietly capable boy they had left behind at home. Simon, the boy who was always careful not to spoil the glory of an uncle who was the same age as himself. He had let Steve come on this adventure and had stayed home to monitor their progress. So, Steve was the best they had available.
Jason continued his narration. If Jazz squinted, she could almost imagine him as his father, lamenting the misguided mistake he had made and atoning for it by supporting the man whom he had not trusted. The man who had become the father of Zack and Jazz.
"Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily façade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself…"
"Myself!"
Zack burst onto the stage at the last moment to scream his line. From then on, the voices of the two boys blended together, Jason's accusing tone barely distinguishable from Zack's tortured scream.
"I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself
Myself!
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself
I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in…"
Zack melted back into the darkness, his voice fading like a desperate plea lost to the howling winter wind. Things were so different here, Jazz mused. Back home, their Poppa was blissfully happy, safe and secure in his life. But here…oh, here things were so much different, so much worse. Zack was absorbing the pain and misery he felt and transmitting it all in his voice. His angelic tenor was filled with torment, and Jazz could only appreciate it for the song of lament that it was.
Jason remained the strong, steadfast bastion of power that he had always been, laying it out the way it truly was, here and now.
"If I turn my back I'm defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on
Then they'll take from me 'till everything is gone
If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer
By myself…"
"Myself!"
And again Zack came barreling out of the shadows, a few escaped strands of brandy-brown hair swinging into his eyes. He brushed them away almost furiously, concentrating exclusively on making the modest crowd at Harry's feel every ounce of pain that burned inside him.
"I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself
Myself!
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself
I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in…"
Jason stepped up to the front, the two boys standing side by side, mirrors of suffering. They shared the pain of their fathers, one whose entire life was a mistake, and one who never would have had a life if not for the other. Jason spoke, and it seemed his voice was made of shards of glass.
"How do you think I've lost so much?
I'm so afraid, I'm out of touch
How do you expect I will know what to do,
When all I know is what you tell me to!"
Zack's face screwed up in a rictus of pain, and his lungs sucked in enough air to make the last syllables of the next four lines echo from the rafters.
"Don't you know
I can't tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can't seem to convince myself why
I'm stuck on the outside
Don't you know
I can't tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can't seem to convince myself why
I'm stuck on the outside…"
Zack came into his own, serenading with promises of retribution and unending agony, while Aussie wailed away on his precious baby, the guitar that seemed to come alive in his hands. Steve dutifully poured all the emotion he could muster into the rental bass that had been found for him. This wasn't his kind of thing. But Jason and Zack were completely immersed in their own little world, now.
"I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in
I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking…"
And the song ended. Suddenly and with no preamble, leaving the sense of ultimate pain lingering in the air. The room exploded with applause, and Jazz allowed a small sense of pride to enter her heart. They were very, very good. The stage went dark and the boys disappeared into the back room.
Although most of her thoughts were centered on her brother's mental and emotional health, she noticed the ding of the bell on the door as it opened. She held her breath as the three newcomers walked in. Quickly glancing around and making sure all the members of her extended family were backstage - *Well, except for me* - Jazz watched as the three found an unoccupied table in the back and sat down.
"Thank you so much for letting me come, I reallyreallyreally couldn't miss this, I heard they were completelytotallyawesome!"
Ororo smiled gently at Jubilee. The girl had been begging to come to Harry's for the past two weeks, and Storm suspected that she had already snuck out without permission at least once. It was decided that guardianship was much preferable, so she and Logan had decided to accompany the little spitfire to the newly christened 'Alternative Thursday' at Harry's. "I'm glad you're so excited, Jubilee. Indeed, I am curious to see what level of talent this new local band possesses."
"They're probably just a load o' crap," Logan grumbled. "Don't get too excited."
"C'mon, Wolvie, don't be such
a poop. I heard they do really awesome
Linkin Park and Hoobastank covers.
Angelo says they're called Juv…Juvie…something in Spanish. And they play a lot of other stuff, all
kinds of genres. Something for
everyone!" the girl exclaimed, trying to sell the idea of staying for more than
five minutes. Logan groused to himself.
"I believe they are named Juventud – it means 'youth'," Ororo chuckled as she scanned the room…and suddenly found herself eye to eye with the girl from the park. Even from across the room, she could feel the intensity of the stare pointed at her from the most brilliant green eyes she had ever seen. The most brilliant, except for…
Her confused reverie and the stare were broken by Logan's startled alert.
"I smell something…weird."
"Weird in what way, my friend?" Ororo asked, watching the girl out of the corner of her eye. She stood and attempted to walk toward the backstage area, and was almost bowled over by another familiar figure. The other girl from the park, Ginger, if Ororo remembered correctly. The tawny girl's nose was twitching, and she was struggling to keep from gesticulating wildly. The green-eyed girl nodded, and Ginger's face fell, into a look of almost terror. She slunk away towards backstage, and was followed closely by the other girl.
"It's gone now. Just be on your toes, ladies," Logan said, his voice somewhat lighter.
"What did it smell like, Wolvie?" Jubilee asked, completely confused. There were a lot of kids in the room, but other than that, what could he have sensed?
"Smelled like…cat." His own nose twitched, its interest piqued.
The stage lights were refocused so that a crimson aura suffused the stage. The five boys emerged from the dressing room and assumed their positions. Steve placed himself at far stage left, the end closest to the doors. Aussie stood at stage right, resembling an annoyed porcupine as he stared at Steve. *That little prick knows I can't stand being far away from an escape route…I hate him.* His red spikes practically bristled as he snarled at Steve. Junior settled himself in behind the drums, raking a hand through his short, thick black hair. Jason and Zack stepped up almost to the edge of the stage, a light sheen of perspiration visible on Jason's shaved head. Zack let his unruly bangs fall in his face, and this time didn't brush them away. This song always got to him. He hated knowing that his father was ever in this type of situation, ever in this sort of pain. But hiding from it wouldn't make it any better. *Buck up, Zack. When you get home, you can play Get In, Get Out with RJ and everything will be fine.*
George sat at the 'light booth', twiddling his thumbs. The whole control board was just there for show. Strawberry blond Ashelee sat on his left and raven-haired Rainne on his right, both girls waving their fingers in the air and causing flame colored light and midnight shadows to combat each other.
"This light show is fantastic!" someone would inevitably scream from the crowd, and George would just smile, noting how much fun the two fifteen year-old girls were having. Their smiles just about split their faces, and their hands waved gracefully in the air. Ashelee's fingers were bright red at the tips, and jets of heatless flame steamed into the air only to be swallowed partially by the shadows that Rainne commanded. Zack grinned up at them, and George nudged the two girls. The show was about to resume. Zackary Alexander opened his mouth.
"Graffiti decorations
Under a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learned were never true
Now I find myself in question…"
"They point the finger at me again!"
"Ororo…'Ro, look!"
"Goddess, they are amazing…"
"Guilty by association…"
"You point the finger at me again!"
"I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind…"
Storm's mind was whirling as she watched the boys on stage. Again, Zack emptied all the confusion and anger that he felt into the lyrics of the song, his eyes flashing. Ororo stared right into those eyes…neon blue that seemed to glow and enrapture the audience.
"Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true
Now I find myself in question…"
"They point the finger at me again!"
"Guilty by association…"
"You point the finger at me again!"
Jason accused the crowd, his commanding voice rising above to create shame. That was what the song was about, Storm realized. It was a defense of the blamed, an almost childish revelation of the course of action now that there was nothing left to stay for.
"I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind…"
Zack seemed to fold in on himself, but the anguish got stronger and radiated from his contorted body.
"I'm gonna run away, and never say goodbye!"
"Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away."
"I'm gonna run away and never wonder why!"
"Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away."
"I'm gonna run away and open up my mind!"
"Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away
"Gonna run away, gonna run away
Gonna run away, gonna run away."
Zack screamed intermittently through Jason's spoken words, and then the chorus came crashing back down around their heads.
"I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
I wanna run away and open up my mind
I wanna run away and open up my mind
I wanna run away and open up my mind
I wanna run away and open up my mind."
Once more, the song ended abruptly and left Storm with a sense of astonishment. She knew pain like that. As a matter of fact, she was a witness right now to pain like that. Since his return from Antarctica, Remy had remained outwardly the charming, snake-in-the-grass but ultimately good friend that he always had been. However, Ororo could feel the maelstrom of bad things swirling inside him, just waiting for the chance to explode. *Perhaps I should get him into singing alternative rock,* the silver-haired goddess thought, *It sure seems to be working for these boys.*
"I gotta admit, I was wrong," Wolverine apologized to Jubilee. "You were right; they were pretty damn good."
"I'm always right. I wonder if I could get backstage…"
"Don't even think about it, darlin'."
"But I wanna meet them, they're so cool!" Jubilee squealed.
The lights came up on the stage, and a single figure carrying a microphone strode purposefully but gracefully to center stage. Catcalls went up from the male members of the audience, and the beautiful girl merely smiled serenely.
"Hello there," Yolana said with the voice of an angel, her platinum blonde hair brushing her shoulders and her calm blue eyes scanning the crowd. "I was sitting backstage, entertaining myself, when it occurred to me that you don't know anything about us." Cheers went up from the crowd, and this time Yolana grinned. "So, Jazmin elbowed me in the ribs and said, 'Go out there and introduce us if you want to do this so badly.' Therefore, here I am, and here we are.
"We are the Juventud." The crowd went ballistic.
"Looks like you got your wish, darlin'," Logan stated, a small frown appearing on his face as he studied Yolana. "She smells funny."