Notes:
I wrote another of these humor fics... I swear I am a nice person who writes normal fanfiction! If only I would finish them. This is just my take on the OOC situation. I want to poke fun at fanfiction in general, and give us something to laugh at ourselves about. I hope you enjoy it!
Thank you to Rachel for the title!
I do not own Slayers. Thank your lucky socks for this, as if I did, I would never finish it.
Lina vs. The Ruby-Eyed Damsel (and other stories)
Zellas appeared onstage to the wild cheering of the massive amounts of Slayers fans, appearing disgruntled and bored. She surveyed part of the crowd, and then began her spiel. "Hello, my name is Greater Beast Zellas Metalliom, and I am here to host the first 'Slayers Characters vs. Their Fanfiction Selves' competition. The first competitors are Lina Inverse, the Enemy of all who Live; and Lina Inverse, Sorceress Supreme. Enjoy," Zellas added, walking briskly off stage.
Lina walked confidently onstage, spring in her step, and looking as perky and ostentatious as usual. The vast majority of the crowd erupted in loud cheering, drawing out her arrogant side, and eliciting a self-satisfied shrug. Next, ffLina walked on stage, slower, with a shadow of confidence and a glance back at her koibito for reassurance, causing many romance writers and fans to 'Aww!' She grinned proudly.
"Hey!" Lina yelled, suddenly pointing to ffLina. She located Zellas, waiting just off stage. "She has bigger breasts than me!"
"'Than I,'" Zellas said mildly.
"No, I think you're breasts are bigger," Lina said brusquely, looking at Zellas. Zellas rolled her eyes. "But this isn't about you! It's about me!" She said fervently, pointing to herself.
"Hey, Lina, when are we getting to the fight?" ffLina asked, bored and irritated.
"How come everybody has bigger breasts than me?!" Lina whined, flailing her arms dramatically. "Even I have bigger breasts than me!" Zellas decided not to bother with the young human's atrocious grammer this time.
"Okay," FfLina said. "Fireball!"
"Aaaagh!" Lina rolled out of the way and glared at ffLina. "Burst Rondo!" she yelled in reply. FfLina screamed and covered her eyes as the many spheres of light burst around her. Lina stood up and put her right hand on her hip, smirking. After the Burst Rondo dissipated, ffLina slowly uncovered her eyes, checking to see if it was safe. Once she saw it was, she put her hands on her hips.
"Ha! You didn't get me!"
"Not yet," Lina smirked.
"Fireball!" ffLina shouted again. Lina was ready with a defense barrier.
"Don't you know any other spells?!" She yelled, canceling the spell.
"Dragon Slave." FfLina said proudly.
"And...?" Lina asked.
"Um... I'm sure I know others," ffLina said, thinking hard. Lina put her hand to her forehead in a display of her annoyance, and then removed it to perform her next spell.
"Ahem," Lina said, standing up and clearing her throat. FfLina glared at her.
"Flare Arrow!"
FfLina screamed, putting her arm over her eyes again. The Flare Arrow knocked her off her feet. "My love! Help me!" she yelled desperately, tears beginning to run down her cheeks. Lina looked alarmed.
"I'll help you! Hold on, I love you Lina Inverse!" her love replied. Zellas quickly transported over to the offending koibito and held him back. She looked ill at the idea of touching this desperate creature.
"Koi..." ffLina said weakly, stretching out her hand.
"Lina Inverse!"
Lina watched in astonishment as FfLina fainted. Her koibito looked like he was willing to die right then and there. "Okay! Weirdness quota for the day more than fulfilled! I'm leaving!" she announced, marching off stage. She surveyed the crowd, choosing a likely place to start, and began to weave through the rows selling her autograph for a gold piece per signature- three if the demanding person wanted a note. As ffLina was carried off the stage, Zellas walked onstage to continue her latest assignment.
"Your next contestants are Gourry Gabriev vs. Gourry Gabriev." She walked back offstage to wait.
I wrote another of these humor fics... I swear I am a nice person who writes normal fanfiction! If only I would finish them. This is just my take on the OOC situation. I want to poke fun at fanfiction in general, and give us something to laugh at ourselves about. I hope you enjoy it!
Thank you to Rachel for the title!
I do not own Slayers. Thank your lucky socks for this, as if I did, I would never finish it.
Lina vs. The Ruby-Eyed Damsel (and other stories)
Zellas appeared onstage to the wild cheering of the massive amounts of Slayers fans, appearing disgruntled and bored. She surveyed part of the crowd, and then began her spiel. "Hello, my name is Greater Beast Zellas Metalliom, and I am here to host the first 'Slayers Characters vs. Their Fanfiction Selves' competition. The first competitors are Lina Inverse, the Enemy of all who Live; and Lina Inverse, Sorceress Supreme. Enjoy," Zellas added, walking briskly off stage.
Lina walked confidently onstage, spring in her step, and looking as perky and ostentatious as usual. The vast majority of the crowd erupted in loud cheering, drawing out her arrogant side, and eliciting a self-satisfied shrug. Next, ffLina walked on stage, slower, with a shadow of confidence and a glance back at her koibito for reassurance, causing many romance writers and fans to 'Aww!' She grinned proudly.
"Hey!" Lina yelled, suddenly pointing to ffLina. She located Zellas, waiting just off stage. "She has bigger breasts than me!"
"'Than I,'" Zellas said mildly.
"No, I think you're breasts are bigger," Lina said brusquely, looking at Zellas. Zellas rolled her eyes. "But this isn't about you! It's about me!" She said fervently, pointing to herself.
"Hey, Lina, when are we getting to the fight?" ffLina asked, bored and irritated.
"How come everybody has bigger breasts than me?!" Lina whined, flailing her arms dramatically. "Even I have bigger breasts than me!" Zellas decided not to bother with the young human's atrocious grammer this time.
"Okay," FfLina said. "Fireball!"
"Aaaagh!" Lina rolled out of the way and glared at ffLina. "Burst Rondo!" she yelled in reply. FfLina screamed and covered her eyes as the many spheres of light burst around her. Lina stood up and put her right hand on her hip, smirking. After the Burst Rondo dissipated, ffLina slowly uncovered her eyes, checking to see if it was safe. Once she saw it was, she put her hands on her hips.
"Ha! You didn't get me!"
"Not yet," Lina smirked.
"Fireball!" ffLina shouted again. Lina was ready with a defense barrier.
"Don't you know any other spells?!" She yelled, canceling the spell.
"Dragon Slave." FfLina said proudly.
"And...?" Lina asked.
"Um... I'm sure I know others," ffLina said, thinking hard. Lina put her hand to her forehead in a display of her annoyance, and then removed it to perform her next spell.
"Ahem," Lina said, standing up and clearing her throat. FfLina glared at her.
"Flare Arrow!"
FfLina screamed, putting her arm over her eyes again. The Flare Arrow knocked her off her feet. "My love! Help me!" she yelled desperately, tears beginning to run down her cheeks. Lina looked alarmed.
"I'll help you! Hold on, I love you Lina Inverse!" her love replied. Zellas quickly transported over to the offending koibito and held him back. She looked ill at the idea of touching this desperate creature.
"Koi..." ffLina said weakly, stretching out her hand.
"Lina Inverse!"
Lina watched in astonishment as FfLina fainted. Her koibito looked like he was willing to die right then and there. "Okay! Weirdness quota for the day more than fulfilled! I'm leaving!" she announced, marching off stage. She surveyed the crowd, choosing a likely place to start, and began to weave through the rows selling her autograph for a gold piece per signature- three if the demanding person wanted a note. As ffLina was carried off the stage, Zellas walked onstage to continue her latest assignment.
"Your next contestants are Gourry Gabriev vs. Gourry Gabriev." She walked back offstage to wait.