Alone

Chapter 6

'I can't believe he's dead.' Pan thought to herself over and over again while looking at the bed she once shared with her husband. She walked to her baby's room and sat in the doorway. 'Why'd you have to go and get yourself killed like that? I need you, more than ever. I know you loved us more than anything else in the world but there was another passion in your life that you couldn't deny and that's what got you killed. You were so brave and selfless when it came to helping others, you gave your life so another could live. I respect that and that's also my undoing. Why couldn't you have gotten a desk job, a safe job? Now I'm all alone at night with only my thoughts and in the day I'm so busy with Emmanuel that the only thoughts I have are of him. Do you know how hard it's been since you've been gone?' Pan sighed. She ran her finger across Emmanuel's soft cheek gently, careful not to wake him. She turned and left the room.

Her apartment was no longer furnished, but filled with large brown boxes. 'Moving on again.' She thought sadly as she sat down on the floor to pay her last bills from her apartment. After paying the utilities, grocery, diapers, rent, the down payment for her new lower income apartment, credit card bills, phone bill and basic hygiene products, she found her cheek book balance was in the red. "Oh Kami." She sighed sadly.

The next day she attempted to fit everything in her old, rusted, beaten down, 1979 Ford pick up. After strapping everything down, she installed the car seat and buckled her most valuable possession carefully inside. She pulled a blanket over little Emmanuel, who was only a little over a year old, because the heater in her truck went out again and being in mid January didn't help any.

She looked up one last time at her middle class apartment on the third floor, trying to remember if she had forgotten anything. Memories started flooding back to her, their first kiss, their first date, all the parties and the most remember-able of all was the look on her husband's face when she told him she was pregnant.

She smiled at remembering the time she woke up at 2:30 in the morning craving an extra large sundae with hot fudge, nuts, cherries, and three kinds of ice cream. Emmanuel, her husband's and son's name, rolled out of bed half awake and drove around half the night to find anything open and bought exactly what she wanted and a jar of pickles. He was good to her and she loved him for that.

Pan sighed as she pried open the stuck door, got in and had to slam it shut. It took her three tries to start the engine, but when she did, they were off. Only stopping to change diapers, fill the tank, and grab some food, they made record time.

"Satan City." Pan mouthed quietly, careful not to wake up her child. Emmanuel had cried himself to sleep about twenty miles ago. She had gotten a job that paid nearly fifteen dollars an hour working at an up town law firm as a secretary. The best part was they offered day care and health and dental coverage for her and her baby, which was the only reason that brought her back to Satan City. "I'm cursed to always come back." She sighed as she parked in her new parking spot.

A few hours later, she had everything settled in her apartment, but not unpacked. Emmanuel slept in his mother's arms, his tail flinching every now and then as he dreamt. Pan walked out onto the porch/balcony (she was on the third floor again) to admire the view. There weren't any large building directly in front of the apartment complex allowing the occupants to see some of the large city. Just in the distance, she could make out the large white dome she recognized as Capsule Corp.

She heard the sliding door next to her slid open and shut and the flick of a lighter, then a voice. "Pan?" a familiar voice asked. She didn't turn around. "I'm sorry you look like somebody I once knew." Apologized the man. "I'm Yamcha."

Pan let out a choked laugh, "Yamcha, huh?" she asked with a grin as she turned around. "Nice to meet you, I'm Pan." She joked.

"Are you babysitting?" Yamcha asked hopefully, but soon ate his words when he noticed the tail swaying gently side to side. "Never mind." He said sheepishly.

"Quite alright." Pan accepted. "He's name's Emmanuel Jr."

Yamcha looked a little uneasy, "So ah, where's the dad?"

Pan shook her head, "Dead." She said softly.

"Sorry." Yamcha apologized, looking even more sheepish than before. His cordless phone started ringing, "Hello? Oh hi Bulma. Yeah, tonight? Okay, I'll be sure to spread the word. Oh hey, you don't mind if I invite somebody do you? I mean, I don't know what their plans are…okay, thanks, see you then! Bye." Yamcha said into the phone happily.

Pan turned to go inside, but Yamcha called after her.

"Pan, hey wait up." Pan stopped and returned to her previous spot. "I just wanted to tell you that ever since you've been gone, everyone's been miserable!" he exclaimed. "I swear it, I don't think Trunks has had no more than three dates, Bura started training, Goten mopes around the country all day and most of the night, and Krillin told me that all Marron does lately is mope around the house after work. The rest of us missed you also, so I'm gonna try to be a good neighbor and all and request that you come to Capsule Corp. tonight. Everyone will be so glad to see you, please?"

Pan tried to find an excuse not to go, "I just got here, I still have to unpack, and I have to go to work in the morning." She replied. Yamcha nodded, understanding, started to head back into his apartment when a shot of guilt screamed through her body. "Yamcha, I'll go."

Yamcha smiled. "Great, I'll give you a ride. I don't think that truck has much life left in her, I heard it coming five blocks away."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Emmanuel shifted in his mother's arms and yawned. His eyes fluttered opened and his tail slowly rose so that the tip was right above his head. "Did you sleep well mister?" she asked lovingly. He yawned and gave Pan a goofy smirk. "Well good, cause my arms were getting tired." Yamcha grinned at the little boy who was looking at him with the goofy son smile. Pan gave a little gasp, "Mister poopy! No wonder you have that silly look on your face!" she cooed as she patted Emmanuel's bottom.

Yamcha's grin faded, 'Goku had that look whenever he did something embarrassing.' He thought. "Pan!" he called, she poked her head out the sliding door. "Do you think you'll be ready in about two hours?" he asked. "Everyone is showing up at four thirty, but I like to be fashionably late by half an hour or so."

"Yeah sure."