AN: I'm still chuckling with the person who thought this was a story about
Sydney getting drunk… I should have been more clear I suppose, I've been
watching and discussing JAG, and we all refer to "Harm's dip in the drink."
Guess it rubbed off.
As I get on the plane, a surge of guilt swells over me. I heard the shock in my father's voice, saw the relief on his face. He'd been worried for me, and it was my fault. It's not everyday you see your daughter drive into the Pacific... I wish I'd been able to call him earlier, to keep him from wondering for hours.
Even the fact that there was no other way around it doesn't take away all the guilt. I feel like I should have been able to keep him from hurting. That's my job in life after all—take care of all the hurts in lives of those around me. When Francie found out Charlie had been cheating on her, I helped her start to get over it by taking off my own ring—something I'd been ready to do for a while, but just hadn't felt the need to. When Dixon was shot, I was there for his family. When Emily told me she was dying, I was there to listen.
Yep, that's Sydney Bristow, always there, you can count on her. So why couldn't I have been there for my dad this afternoon? Why does the government think I'm a threat? You can count on me to do the right thing, that's who I am. How can they think I'd do anything else? What did I do to make them doubt me?
This is ridiculous and I know it. It didn't have anything to do with me. It was all because of Rambaldi—I'm beginning to hate that guy. Why did he have to write this stupid prophecy that sounds like it might be about me but I know isn't? And if it isn't, why did it have to be about my mother?
I hated the look in Dad's eyes when I told him Mom was still alive, and the prophecy had to be about her. I've known for a while that he's not the stoic face he puts on for SD-6, but I was not prepared for the shock and pain that flitted across his face before he controlled it into an expression of muted surprise. That hurt was my fault too. I should have found a different way to tell him, or maybe I shouldn't have told him at all.
No, I know he had to know… he needs to be ready for her when she steps into the open out of the shadows she's been lurking in. It's funny in a way, all my life I imagined my mother was watching over me. Now I know that most likely she was. It might even have been her that suggested Sloane bring me in to SD-6. I used to think that mothers didn't do things like that to their children, but I know that isn't true anymore. Some mothers do. Some mothers are nothing that mothers are supposed to be.
Sighing, I push down yet another wave of guilt. I know it isn't logical, but sometimes I feel like it must have been something about me… that it's my fault she didn't love me. I know that the choice to betray her country, if it ever was *her* country, was completely her own, but did I have something to with the choice to abandon her own daughter? Was I not a good enough child? Didn't she love me enough to stay?
Stay tuned for more from Syd's point of view, as well as one more character… a surprise witness so to speak.
As I get on the plane, a surge of guilt swells over me. I heard the shock in my father's voice, saw the relief on his face. He'd been worried for me, and it was my fault. It's not everyday you see your daughter drive into the Pacific... I wish I'd been able to call him earlier, to keep him from wondering for hours.
Even the fact that there was no other way around it doesn't take away all the guilt. I feel like I should have been able to keep him from hurting. That's my job in life after all—take care of all the hurts in lives of those around me. When Francie found out Charlie had been cheating on her, I helped her start to get over it by taking off my own ring—something I'd been ready to do for a while, but just hadn't felt the need to. When Dixon was shot, I was there for his family. When Emily told me she was dying, I was there to listen.
Yep, that's Sydney Bristow, always there, you can count on her. So why couldn't I have been there for my dad this afternoon? Why does the government think I'm a threat? You can count on me to do the right thing, that's who I am. How can they think I'd do anything else? What did I do to make them doubt me?
This is ridiculous and I know it. It didn't have anything to do with me. It was all because of Rambaldi—I'm beginning to hate that guy. Why did he have to write this stupid prophecy that sounds like it might be about me but I know isn't? And if it isn't, why did it have to be about my mother?
I hated the look in Dad's eyes when I told him Mom was still alive, and the prophecy had to be about her. I've known for a while that he's not the stoic face he puts on for SD-6, but I was not prepared for the shock and pain that flitted across his face before he controlled it into an expression of muted surprise. That hurt was my fault too. I should have found a different way to tell him, or maybe I shouldn't have told him at all.
No, I know he had to know… he needs to be ready for her when she steps into the open out of the shadows she's been lurking in. It's funny in a way, all my life I imagined my mother was watching over me. Now I know that most likely she was. It might even have been her that suggested Sloane bring me in to SD-6. I used to think that mothers didn't do things like that to their children, but I know that isn't true anymore. Some mothers do. Some mothers are nothing that mothers are supposed to be.
Sighing, I push down yet another wave of guilt. I know it isn't logical, but sometimes I feel like it must have been something about me… that it's my fault she didn't love me. I know that the choice to betray her country, if it ever was *her* country, was completely her own, but did I have something to with the choice to abandon her own daughter? Was I not a good enough child? Didn't she love me enough to stay?
Stay tuned for more from Syd's point of view, as well as one more character… a surprise witness so to speak.