(Author's Note:

Symptoms: Schizoid Personality Disorder
A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
--neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
--almost always chooses solitary activities
--has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
--takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
--lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
--appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
--shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

What did I say? ^^)






VII


"You know, the best thing anyone in Garden could do for me right now is to add a bar to the Cafeteria," Nida grumbled into his coffee, which looked blacker than usual. Everyone who knew Nida well could tell what that meant--Xu had once written it out as "the levity of Nida's mood is inversely proportional to the darkness of his coffee"--and most could share his sentiments.

"Were you called up into ValHalla's office, too?" Quistis asked. Nida nodded.

"Yeah. And Xu is up there now, and Haily is going in next. I tell you, the entire Administrative Committee is catching hell over this."

"Over what?" Squall asked pointedly. Nida shrugged.

"Over something. I don't know. Maybe our new Headmaster just doesn't like any of us."

"It's impossible not to like you, Nida," Mesmer said wryly. "You're just so damn cheery all the time."

"Yeah, well, something's up," Nida said. "You know what she ordered me to do? Take a week-long break from instructing, along with at least five hours of complete sensory deprivation and abstain from any strenuous physical activity over the course of the treatment. Damn it, I hate not being able to fight! And this sensory deprivation crap...."

"I know what you mean," Mesmer said. "As of tomorrow, I'm stripped of my Faculty rank pending a complete skills assessment." Mesmer pounded a fist onto the table, causing some of Nida's coffee to leap out of the cup. "There's nothing worse she can do to a guy like me. My work is everything."

Quistis sighed. "This is all ludicrous. Iohan, there's no one in the Garden who doesn't know you're the best Faculty member here. Nida's classes have never been better off, and I--" she sighed. "I don't know what point she was trying to make with me."

Nida leaned forward. "What happened?" he asked.

"I'd rather not discuss it," Quistis said, "but... for some reason, the Headmaster seems to have developed an interest in my social life."

"Uh-oh," Nida said. "Does that mean what I think it does?"

"She's worried about my lack of boyfriends," Quistis blurted out. "I can't see why she wants to intrude, but of course I couldn't say that...."

"What happened to you, Squall?" Mesmer asked. Squall glowered.

"Tomorrow, I'm to report to Doctor Kadowaki for a complete psychological assessment," he said flatly. Everyone winced. To have someone probing around in his brain, trying to figure out his deepest emotions had to be hell for Squall.

"Does this remind anyone else of a bad Psychology thriller?" Nida asked, earning himself a few odd looks. "I mean, with the way the Headmaster is making us all go through these tailor-fitted hells?"

"So, following the formula, we can expect that Xu's been ordered to...."

Mesmer trailed off as Xu walked into the cafeteria, noticing them. They beckoned her come sit.

"Join the club of Really Pissed People," Nida said. "What did they do to you?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Xu evaded. "Garden's mail just came through," she said, changing the subject. "Not a lot there. There was something for you, though, Squall."

Squall glanced up, taking the envelope that Xu offered him. Opening it, he pulled out the paper inside.

"What is it?" Nida asked. "Who's it from?"

Squall read over the first few lines. "Rinoa," he said, confused. "She says...."

There was silence as Squall read through the message, and silence as he put it down, thoughtful. Everyone at the table exchanged glances.

Minutes seemed to pass. Without a word, Squall pushed himself away from the table and moved out of the room. The letter lay on the table, forgotten.

Everyone glanced at each other. Finally, Nida sighed. "So who's going to read it?" he asked. Normally, there would have been a immediate objection to rummaging through the Commander's personal life, but the events of the day had drained them. Dully, Quistis reached out and took the paper.

"It's Rinoa," she said. "She says that it's been over a year--that she misses him, but...." the sentence dropped off. Quistis put the letter down. "She wants him to understand," she said.

"Oh, Hyne," Nida said, taking another gulp of his coffee. "That's the last thing he needs. The very damn last."

"I think I'm going to find Selphie," Mesmer said, standing up. "I need a bit of holiday cheer. Anyone else interested in decorating? We can probably wallow in self-pity for a while while we're busy."

"Hyne," Nida said. "Count me in. Maybe this is a holiday you celebrate with wine."

The group at the table dispersed, Quistis tucking Rinoa's letter into a pocket of her SeeD jacket. As they exited, no one noticed the blonde man sitting just within earshot, smiling.

--- - - - ---


Footsteps crunched through the hardened snow, marking the trail towards Balamb. A black trenchcoat flowed in the wind, rustling with every step the Commander took. Absently, he fingered the letter in the coat pocket, mixed feelings welling up inside him. Lost in his own thoughts, he was completely oblivious of the man behind him, matching his footsteps.

"Squall," a name called, and Squall ground to a halt. Turning, he wondered who else could be out here at this time on this day.

The man from near the Library, Squall identified with a frown. "Yes?" he asked.

"You don't want to do that, man," the stranger said, a crooked grin plastered onto his face. "There's no reason to."

"What?" Squall asked, irritated.

"It's cold out here," the man said, digging his hands into his pockets. He stopped approaching once he was standing less than a meter away from Squall--a very uncomfortable proximity. However, guessing that the man was trying to gain some sense of control over the situation, Squall didn't back off. "Real cold."

"The Garden is climate-controlled," Squall suggested, displaying much more tact than he really wanted to.

"I heard all about the breakup," the man said. "Must hurt to be dumped like that. I know I'd feel bad."

Squall considered feigning ignorance for a moment, then decided against it. The man seemed like he knew what he was talking about. "That's not a public matter," he said.

"Well, I can't let you come out here and... expire, if you know what I mean," the man said. "I have an idea of how much you loved her. I can tell you she's not worth... what you're going to do."

Squall's eyes narrowed. "And what am I going to do?" he asked.

The man's grin closed into a tight-lipped smile. "Everyone knows about the high-and-mighty Commander Leonhart," he whispered. "It wasn't hard to find someone to tell me all about how you fell. And it looks like you want to fall again--hard, this time."

Squall's brain slogged through the man's babble, finally coming up with something that might have been what he was trying to say. "Are you implying--" he started.

"You're not gonna die here," the man said. "I'm here to save you."

Squall opened his mouth to say that he was by no means suicidal, but something about the way the man shifted his weight interrupted him. He could feel a sudden adrenaline rush, and took a step back.

The man pulled his left hand out of his pocket and swung it towards Squall's face in one motion, and Squall reacted instantly by catching the gloved hand in his right one. He had only seconds to realize his mistake as the man slipped out of his grasp and grabbed his fist, pulling him offbalance as his right hand came out of his other pocket, holding a knife. Squall figured it out too late--by the time he had moved to counter, the knife had traced an arc through the air and slit his right wrist to the bone. A blow to the stomach sent him reeling to the ground, where he was pinned as the man put his foot on his chest.

Kneeling, the man noticed the corner of an envelope sticking out of one of the pockets. "What's this?" he asked, pulling it out and opening it. Reading the message, he frowned. "What is this? he asked. "You understand her decision... in a way, it's a relief? This won't do. Not at all."

The man ripped the paper into bits, leaving it scattered on the ground to soak up Squall's blood. Turning his attention back to the felled Commander, the man checked his pulse.

"You all right? Feeling faint?" he asked. "We had better get you back to the infirmary, shouldn't we? It's a pity I arrived too late, Squall. I tried my best to dissuade you. Remember that."

The world went faint as the man picked him up, throwing his arm across Squall's shoulders and beginning to drag him back towards Garden. Unable to make sense of the events, Squall's mind gave up.

The world went black.