Title: Four Seasons Lover
By: Sariyuki
Disclaimer: none of Gravitation characters are mine -_-.. but the poem is MINE! Yay!
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Yuki found a piece of paper tucked under his laptop computer in the morning. Not another silly love letter! thought Yuki a bit annoyed. He just got a love letter from that pink haired boy two days ago! And today, there's a new one?
Yuki shook his head. He really is one of a kind, thought Yuki, he never ceased to amaze me with his never-ending antics. He sat himself on his comfortable study chair, took the paper, smoothened it and began to read.
"A poem for my dearest, Yuki Eiri, my love
You are my four seasons love
When you're summer, you're shining brightly
When you're autumn, you're falling apart
When you're winter, you're cold and cruel
When you're spring, you're tender and loving
You are my four seasons love
I'll be your summer when you're feeling winter
You may freeze me with your snow but I can be your sun
I'll be your spring when you're feeling autumn
You may break down and cry but I can be your shoulder
You are my four seasons love
I'll love you throughout the seasons
I'll love you throughout the years
I'll love you forever
- written with so much love by Shindou Shuichi"
He read and re-read it again and again like he couldn't digest the meaning of the words written on the small white paper that's on his hand. Then he stopped reading and placed the paper on his chest. What was this warm feeling that enveloped his whole body? A ghost of smile appeared slowly on his face. Suddenly he laughed. He wasn't sure why he laughed, he just wanted to. And so he laughed.
Feeling light headed, Yuki folded the paper carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket. He got to go now. His editor was waiting for him and so was the supermarket. He needed more beer and cigarettes.
"Tadaima, Yuki!"
Yuki stopped reading the book he's holding. He glanced at the clock. He'd forgotten the time again! It's always like this. He'd forget everything when he read. Well, that's one of the reason he loved reading, to forget things. He put down his reading glasses on a desk and waited for Shuichi to find him there.
"Yu~ki!"
Shuichi flew across the room when he spotted his beloved. He landed smoothly on Yuki's lap, positioned himself comfortably and began to launch unstoppable questions, "Yuki! What were you doing? Reading? This book? Is it interesting? Hmm, the cover is nice …"
Yuki ignored his questions completely, "Why were you late?"
"Ah, there was something wrong with the equipment in the studio so the technicians got to fix it first before we're able to rehearse. It took so … damn long to fix it. That's why we finished late too. I was so hungry in the studio … can't wait to go home …"
"Oh."
"Hmm, aren't you hungry? I bet you haven't got your dinner. You're always so wrapped up in your reading or your writing. Don't you want to eat? I bought something for our dinner," smiled Shuichi cutely at his silent lover. Yuki had to admire the way Shuichi always managed to finish a very long sentence without pausing and still kept his breathing even. It must be one of the requirements to become a successful singer, thought Yuki amused.
Yuki gave Shuichi a light peck on the cheek, "Good. Let's eat. I'm hungry as hell."
"Na, Yuki … did you get my …," Shuichi paused to gulp down his food, "did … did you read my poem?"
"You've got something on your teeth," remarked Yuki, comfortably chewing his food.
"Oh," grinned Shuichi sheepishly, trying to wipe the offending object away with his tongue, "is it still there?"
"Nope," said Yuki after examining Shuichi's wide-open mouth.
"Good," Shuichi paused again, "So … I asked you before … did you read it?"
"Your poem, did you say?"
"Yes, I put it under your laptop this morning before I went to work," said Shuichi quickly after gulping down his soda drink, "Na, tell me, what do you think?"
"You called that a poem?" smirked Yuki.
"What?! Yu~ki~! That IS a poem. I made it with all my heart! With such sincerity! How could you say such thing?" protested Shuichi wildly. He nearly knocked the glass over.
"Hey, calm down," Yuki continued to eat, "I'll tell you what I think after eating."
Shuichi pouted but he did calm down and resumed his dinner meal. He was sure that Yuki's review would contain the word 'zero talent' or something like that. But it's okay though; he just wanted to let Yuki know his feeling, not his writing skill or anything else.
They sat themselves on the couch watching television. It's not like there was something interesting on the television because they didn't really watch the television; it was just their evening routine. Shuichi coming home, having dinner together, watching television on the couch, and going to bed.
Shuichi nuzzled on Yuki's warm body contently. Yuki reflectively put his arms around Shuichi's waist. Whenever he did that, he felt at peace. He felt comfortable. He felt at home. There's something about Shuichi's presence that made him calm, even though the word 'calm' didn't really suit Shuichi. The thought made him smile. Shuichi was the most chaotic thing that ever happened to him. There were times when it was hard to even form a smile. Shuichi had made it easy for him.
Shuichi had influenced him somehow. Sometimes, he felt annoyed by this little fact. Why he couldn't resist not to be influenced by such an idiot. If he could be affected this much by an idiot then that meant he's worse than idiot. Yuki winced, I have to stop calling him idiot. I don't want to be one.
Shuichi was not an idiot really. It was just fun to call him names. Yuki still had not found the courage to call his lover with affectionate nicknames. In fact, he still didn't know if he wanted to call Shuichi anything but Shuichi's own name or 'baka'. But mostly 'baka'. It was entertaining. It was a special reserved word just for his Shuichi. Perhaps he should go and claim a trademark for this word. Once again, Yuki smiled, at his own joke.
"Hey, Yuki … you smile a lot lately," stated Shuichi softly while playing with one of the buttons on Yuki's shirt.
"Hn."
"Are you feeling happy about something?"
"Ah, I'm just happy, that's all"
"Oh … that's good. I'm glad that you're happy."
Yuki took out a thing from his pocket. It was the piece of paper that contained Shuichi's poem. Shuichi eyes went wide. He was going to ask questions but Yuki's voice silenced him. To his astonishment, Yuki was reading his poem line by line slowly.
"You are my four seasons love"
There were times when he was alone in this world. He felt the world had turned its back on him. Loneliness was his only friend. There were times when he felt desperate. He was lost. He didn't expect to be found. He didn't want to be found.
"When you're summer, you're shining brightly"
The word 'love' was something that he wrote about. It was something he thought he knew about. He didn't believe in it. It was something he thought was an illusion, a big lie. What he really knew is the word 'betrayal'. He knew it personally, dwelled in it, drowned because of it. The word 'revenge' was once his loyal company. The word 'anger' was always by his side. But 'love'? It was something he wrote about but never believed.
"When you're autumn, you're falling apart"
Never could he trust anybody else. But how could he, he didn't even trust himself at times. He remembered those were terrible, dark times. He barely could forget but he couldn't quite really recall now. He was confused and torn. He chose to be alone. Couldn't afford to trust anyone. No, he knew he couldn't. He rejected the world, just like the world had rejected him. He fell apart.
"When you're winter, you're cold and cruel"
What do you know about cold anyway? There were times when he was always feeling cold. Wrapping around the thickness of his blanket, he still felt cold. He didn't know that the coldness came from his heart. It was always winter in his heart. He had lost his soul in the blizzard. His heart was carried away and lost. But he couldn't care less.
"When you're spring, you're tender and loving"
He walked on this earth alone. Just like that night. He walked alone in that park. He didn't know where to go, didn't care where his legs taking him to. It was that fateful night, a night he knew he could never forget. Was it spring? The sky was bright, the night was somewhat warm and the wind was ruffling his hair. He was gazing at the sky, when suddenly something was dropped in front of him.
"You are my four seasons love"
Was it fate? Was it destiny? He couldn't decide. Perhaps it was all just coincidence. He took the paper that fell on his feet, read it and despised it just like he despised everything that fell on his feet. Then he noticed the boy standing in front of him, open mouthed. Pink hair, boyish face, typical teenager outfit. He didn't know why but he opened his mouth to speak to the pink haired boy. He could have shut his mouth and nothing would ever happen. But he started it and he couldn't go back where he wanted to. Perhaps, it was the gods mocking him … playing with his life …
"I'll be your summer when you're feeling winter"
His life was turned upside down. The boy was something he wasn't prepared for. He took him in, tried to understand him and somewhere along the way he fell in love with him. It took him long to realise the latter. It took him everything to be in love again, to be in the sun again. He tried to deny it coz he was afraid. He was scared and he ran away from his summer …
"You may freeze me with your snow but I can be your sun"
He was being a coward. He had hurt someone who truly loved him. The world was shattered once more. It made him frightened. He left to be alone. Again. There were so many questions on his head but no one seemed to offer the answers. So many things in his life, he regretted. Would this be another thing he should regret later on? He was cold. Would he ever feel warm again?
"I'll be your spring when you're feeling autumn"
He thought of death. Maybe dying could be an easier way out of his problem. Then maybe the world would stop mocking him. Then perhaps he could feel at peace, free from his past, free from his nightmares. Sitting on the hard wood of the old abandoned apartment where he killed his tutor years ago, he felt spent and tired and drowned in his own dark past. There was nothing left to live for. But then ... Shuichi came to find him. He didn't expect to be found. He's not sure if he wanted to be found. But Shuichi found him, rescued him, loved him and brought spring back to his life. And for that, he was eternally grateful.
"You may break down and cry but I can be your shoulder"
He finally made peace with his past. It wasn't easy but he did it step by step. He learnt to forgive what had happened. He learnt to let go. Shuichi did offer him his shoulder to lean on. He had promised him, he had showed him the way. His lost soul was given back. It was battered and shattered but someone was willing to mend it little by little. He would learn to believe, once again.
"You are my four seasons love"
Shuichi had a way with him. He filled his days with happiness and cheerfulness. When he smiled, it seemed that the world was smiling back at him. Shuichi was his summer. With patience and passion, the pink haired boy had found the key to his heart. He had stolen his heart and kept it where it's safe.
"I love you throughout the seasons"
Shuichi had loved him. Summer, winter, spring and autumn …
By this time, Yuki looked into Shuichi's eyes and smiled. He didn't want to remember anything at all now. All the bad things could all just go away. At this moment, he only wanted to enjoy the peace and warmth that he felt inside. He just wanted to look at Shuichi's face.
Shuichi smiled back at him. The world seemed to brighten up at his smile. He gave Yuki a light kiss on the lips before Yuki continued to read.
"I love you throughout the years"
Yuki paused to lean closer and kissed Shuichi's forehead. He dropped the paper to embrace his lover. He knew the next line was going to be.
He whispered to Shuichi's ear, "I'll love you forever."
Shuichi felt Yuki's breath on his neck and shivered a bit. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming it or not but Yuki said … he'll love me forever …
It wasn't a dream.
He returned Yuki's embrace warmly, tightly. "I'll love you forever," he whispered it back to his lover.
Perhaps, it was gods' gift to their children. Maybe the gods were feeling a bit romantic themselves. Perhaps, the spring's mood was settling upon those two lovers. Or maybe there was magic in the air. Or it could be that they were just in love.
It was a long time before they finally letting go of their embrace.
"Could I use your poem's title as my newest book's title?"
"Wh-what?" Shuichi was surprised. He didn't believe what he just heard. It was really hard to get even a little praise from Yuki. And now? Why, tonight, Yuki was full of surprises.
"Well … if you mind …", Yuki let his voice trailed off.
"No, not at all! But …" answered Shuichi quickly.
"Good. My editor has agreed to it," said Yuki promptly.
Then he yawned.
It was time to bed.