*Hold Me*
by ^Fuyukaze_Yuki^
Song owned by:* Savage Garden*
I don't own Gundam Wing, never have and never will, but actually, would really like to own Duo!!!! I don't own the song either, no I am not The brilliant Darren Hayes from Savage Garden. Anyway this is not mine, okay !
Pair : 1+2 /2+1 anyway ^^
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/Heyy…if We can't find the way out of these problems/
/Then may be we don't need this/
/standing face to face/
/enemies at war we build defences/
/And secret hiding places/
It had been six hours since they left for the mission. It was a long and dangerous mission afterall. Deathscythe was swaying his termal Scythe. The green flash destroyed some leos without any grief.
"On your left, Duo", said the monotone voice through the intercome.
"Thanks, Heero buddy!!" answered the cheerfull Duo, dan without any hesitations he slashed the aries from his left side, and made the fire works in the blue sky.
After accomplising that mission, they went back to their safe house. Heero walked back to his room, which he shared with Duo. Duo was washing his face with cold water in the bathroom. He rubbed his face once again and felt warm moist between the cold water.
"Damn…It's always ended like this. I'd get another nightmare again tonight."
He always did. After hard and long missions, he'd always got nightmare in his sleeps. The nightmares were all about the worst things in his whole life. They were about his childhood, about innocent people who died because of him, and anything else that made his soul more shattered.
Duo heard the soft 'click' from the door of their room.
"That must be Heero…so I have to use this mask again."
The mask of him was the mask of a jester. He'd been hiding his weakness behind that mask, just because he didn't want looked weak and be pitied upon. Duo opened the bathroom's door and was ready to slip into that mask when he met a pair of deep cobalt blue eyes. For a minute they were just standing there. Some parts of Duo's soul melted. Every time he stared at that soulfull cobalt eyes, he felt that his mask shattered and his heart pounded.
"That blue eyes always say more than the person himself. Hh… I just want to throw my arms around him, feel him, and sink in that deep blue pools of him. But … that's just a dream, I know that he would push and refuse me away from him."
So, he hid his feeling deep inside the secret place in his heart.
"Oyasumi, Heero," he said to Heero and slowly walked toward his bed.
/ I might need you to hold me tonight /
/ I might need you to say it's alright /
/ I might need you to make the first stand /
/ because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man /
And Duo got a nightmare again that night. He saw flame. The flame burnt endlessly. He saw the shadow of the building called Maxwell Church getting more vague between the dancing of the red flame. He was just standing there in disbelieve. And he saw the past form of himself, the small Duo, who knelt and sobbed between the ruined of the Church, and all he could said was …
"It's all my fault "
Heero cracked his eyes open. He felt something wrong. He heard noises from the direction of Duo's bed. He heard Duo moaned and sobbed. He was surprise, and moved on by the intuition from his heart. He sat on Duo's bed and heard what Duo'd said and repeated like a spell…"It's all my fault"
The sight of Duo curling up and crying like that really torn Heero's heart apart. So Heero held the curled body close to him and whispered to his ear.
"It's alright, Duo… It's not your fault, It's alright…"
And slowly Duo stopped crying and snuggled to the comfort that embraced him. It really made him felt safe.
/ Hey… more than angry words I hate this silence /
/ It's getting so loud /
/ well I want to scream /
/ but bitterness was silenced these emotions /
/ It's getting hard to breathe /
It was middle of the night in Quatre's private nurse room. There were only two figures in that room. One slept on the bed with an oxygen mask on his beautiful but pale face, and bandages was covering almost half of his body. The other one was a boy sitting beside the bed. His face was solemn and unreadable under the thick brown bangs of his, but somehow it could be seen that his fingers trembled on his lap.
Duo was very badly injured from his last solo mission, even though the mission was successful. He'd got coma and hadn't got up yet since two days ago. Heero had always sat beside his bed. He felt … afraid, so afraid. It was the first time in his life, he felt that way. He wanted to scream, to yell, so that Duo would open his eyes, babble, talk all the jokes, and all of the nonsenses. It grieved Heero's heart to see Duo's silent like this.
/ So tell me isn't happiness
/ Worth more than a gold diamond ring ? /
/ I'm willing to do anything /
/ to calm the storm in my heart /
/ I've never been the praying kind /
/ but lately I've been down upon my knees /
/not looking for a miracle /
/just a reason to believe /
Heero looked once again at the bruised fey beauty laid on the bed, and his face fell down. "It's shouldn't be like this….Duo, you're the life of all." You're always brought happiness and laughter for all of us, and….you've brought warmth and light into my heart, long before I've even realized that.
He remembered the time when Duo moved and lived. There was one time when Duo lifted a can of metalic pink spraypaint and told Heero that he wanted to paint Wufei's gundam, Nataku with polkadot forms. He asked Heero if he'd like to join him. Heero just lifted one eyebrow then shrugged. Duo laughed, then ran off. After a few minutes later, there was a sound of hysterical Wufei chasing after Duo with all his curses and death threats. Then he heard the other gundam pilots' laughters too, and found himself smirked and amused at that moment.
The memory vanished and brought him back to the bitter reality. His heart ached and pained at the sight of Duo. "God… you have to bring him back …yes You've got to…" Heero didn't realize that he whispered that prayer over and over. He just realized that he couldn't live without the shone and the laughter from the angelic face of the boy in front of him.
/ I might need you to hold me tonight /
/ I might need you to say it's alright /
/ I might need you to make the first stand /
/ because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man /
Heero reached to Duo's limped hand, held the cold hand tightly to his chest and whispered his prayer over and over again. Time seemed to stretch like enternity for him, until he felt the hand that hold on his chest moved slightly.
"Duo…Duo, you're back", he said those words unconsciously in a husky emotional tone, untill he couldn't recognize his own voice. He knew the grief had broken. He realized the relief and joy, but most of all, he felt that his heart was full of warmth and not empty anymore. Heero jerked up and called Quatre's doctor.
/ Do you remember not long ago ? /
/ When we used to live for the night time/
/ Cherish each momet /
/ Now we don't live we exist /
/ We just run through our lives /
/ so alone…. /
/ That's why you've got to hold me /
The sun almost downed to the west, it reflected the marvellous crimson red through the line of the sky. Heero laid on the grass with his eyes pointed to the magnificent sight above him, while Duo sat on the grass with his eyes locked on the burning sunset that almost sank. Meanwhile, from the house could be heard beautiful music, a combination of Flute and Violin, played by Trowa and Quatre. The sight was so solemn and peacefull.
"Heero….isn't it beautiful ?!"
" Hn.."
"It's amazing !! I've never think that we could passed the war, through the sounds of battles, the existence of beams and explosions, ne Heero?"
"We'd used to really want to reach the peace for this world, but when it comes, I'd think that I miss the battle too."
"It's really weird, ne?!" said Duo sadly with his eyes glanced slightly to Heero's direction.
Heero looked up to Duo and sat.
"Sometimes I felt that too …", answered Heero softly.
"Yeah…sometimes it felt so alone like hell."
"Well may be that's because the war and the battle have been the part of our souls, and when we didn't taste and involve in it, we've felt that there was a missing part in our lives, and it's not that simple to erase that all things during the war from our minds."
"Hn…I think you're right, and now all we have to do is flowing through our lives", said Heero.
"That's no problem Heero….as long as I have you by my side" and with that Duo leaned closer and rested his head on Heero's shoulder.
"Hn…" was just Heero's reply while he placed his hand embranced Duo and Hold him tight.
/ That's why you've got to hold me … /
*owari*
~ ^Fuyukaze_Yuki^, 2001
~ please send any comments to yuy_maxwell@lycos.com