AN:  Huuuuuuge thanks to everyone who's reviewed!!  Oh, and in answer to sunandshadow's question…hai.  Stephan is Chuin. ^_~

Summer Thunder

Chapter 4

Ken was staring at me with wide eyes, mouth hanging open like he couldn't find the strength to close it.  "Sh...shit, man," he managed at last.  "You...you @#$(*&$ kissed..."

I nodded, not looking at him, feeling suddenly ashamed.  "Yeah," I said quietly.  "I-I mean, I didn't mean for it to happen, but it...it did, and..."  I sighed.  "Sorry. You asked."

There was a long pause.

I can't believe I told him that.  God, what if he hates me now?  What if...what if I've just lost my best friend because I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut??

"Well?"

I blinked, coming out of my thoughts and actually turning to look at him...and, he was just sitting there calmly, staring at me and lifting an eyebrow.  "W...Well what?" I managed.

"Well," he repeated irritably, "what happened next?  That's not the @$(&*$ end of the story, right?"

"Eh?  Well...no, but..."  I shook my head.  "Ken, doesn't that story make you...I dunno..."  The flush creeping back into my cheeks, I folded my arms over my stomach, tucked my chin down towards chest and stared at the floor. "Doesn't it make you hate me?"

Again, that damned silence.  I closed my eyes, dreading his next words, wanting to go crawl up to my room and slip under the covers and curl up and cry--God, what was I going to tell my father?  Hadn't thought that part through at all...  Because, I mean, if Ken hated me now, he wasn't gonna want to come cut our grass every week, I was sure, and he wasn't going to stop by anymore to look in on Kory when Dad and I were both out, and how was I going to explain that?  I mean, it wasn't like I could just sit him down and tell him the story and--

"Ryan," Ken said, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I already @#(*&$@ know that you're gay."

...

Wha?

I opened my eyes, turned to look at him.  "Wha?"

He shook his head, fiery hair hanging down over his eyes, covering up parts of his face--but, I could still see his lips, and they were...smiling??  "Ry, you're a @#$(*&$ piece'a work, ya know that?  A @($*&@$ piece'a work."  And, then, he looked at me--looked me straight in the eye, and I saw that he was smiling, and that there was no hate in his eyes, and I was so happy that I almost cried...but, I didn't, of course, because this was Ken, and he would rather have you punch him in the jaw than cry in front of him. 

"Look," he went on, "it's not like it's @*$(&$ obvious or somethin'.  But, Ry, I've been your friend since we were in @#$(*&$ grade school.  I know ya well enough to know that ya don't like girls--not like that.  An' it doesn't take a @#($*&$ rocket scientist to figure out that maybe, process of elimination all that, if ya don't like girls, ya might @*($&$ like guys."

I blinked, amazed and astonished and all those other good a-words that mean a person is about to keel over dead from shock.  "But...but you...I...I don't...how did..."

Rolling his eyes, Ken stretched forward, latched onto the glass of lemonade he'd had sitting on the People Magazine on the coffee table, and handed it to me.  "Here," he said.  "Get some @$(&$ sugar in your system, then try to @($*&@$# talk."

My fingers felt rubbery, but I managed to hold onto the glass anyway, bring it to my lips.  The stuff tasted like Ken'd poured about a half a cup of sugar into it, making it waaaaay too sweet and kind of grainy, but I felt the sugar slam into my system with a jolt, and felt awake so suddenly that it couldn't've been anything but psychosomatic.  Not that it mattered, of course, as long as the result was there--but, being Observant To A Fault, my mind made a little note of that for future reference.

Clearing my throat a little, I returned the glass to its place atop Jennifer Aniston's forehead, and then leaned back in my seat and heaved a deep sigh.  "Okay," I said.  "Okay.  Better now."

Ken was raising that eyebrow again, I could feel it.  "Ya sure?"

I nodded.  "Yeah.  Yeah.  I'm good."

"'kay.  Think ya can @$*(&$ tell me the rest of the story, now?  I gotta get finished mowin' sometime, ya know?"

"I...I guess...but, Ken, really--this isn't...weird for you?  Hearing about, well, me kissing guys?"  I blushed.

He laughed.  He actually...actually...laughed.  "You're really @($*&@$ worried about that, aren'tcha?"

I gave a weak nod.

And, suddenly, there was a hand on my arm, and I turned to see that Ken was sitting there just beside me, giving me a stern but surprisingly-kind stare that kept me frozen in place while he spoke.

"Look.  Ry."  His eyes were wide and earnest, his voice strangely quiet.  "There're a lotta people out there--'specially around here--who might feel that way.  There're a lot of 'em who'd hate you right now 'cause of what you just said.  But, seriously, man, I'm not one of 'em, 'kay?  You're my friend, and you've been my friend since we were @($*&@$ kids.  I wouldn't ditch ya if ya robbed a @$(*&$ bank, so why the hell would I ditch ya just 'cause you like guys 'stedda girls?  It's not a big deal, it really isn't."  He shrugged.  "Some people like blonds, some people like brunettes--some people like guys.  Doesn't really @($*&$ make a difference to me."

He's gonna kill me for this, but...

Tears stinging in my eyes, I flung myself at him and gave him a quick, tight hug, my cheek pressing against his shoulder, my arms wrapped around his chest.  And, even though he stiffened at first, probably from the shock of it all, a few seconds later...he relaxed.  He brought his arms up over my back and held me close for a second.

"If anybody @$(&$ gives you trouble," he said in a low, shaky voice, "ever, I'll @(*$&@$ kill 'em.  Just so ya know that."

I smiled through the tears, feeling maybe a million times better than I had about five minutes earlier.  "Thanks, Ken," I managed.  My voice didn't come out as much more than a hoarse little whisper, because I was pretty busy trying not to start sobbing, and I guess he figured that out.  He grabbed onto my shoulders suddenly and pulled me up from him, stared at me with wide eyes.

"Aww, shit, Ry!  Don't @#$(*&$ cryyyyyy...!!"

I laughed, the tears still trickling over my cheeks, and brought a hand up to wipe them away.  "S-Sorry," I croaked.  "I'm just...I'm just so..."

"You're just a @$(&$ stereotype, aren'tcha?"  He grinned.  "Now, stop cryin' and tell me what happened at the picnic.  That dumb neighbor kid is gonna start playin' on the lawnmower again if I don't get out there pretty damn soon."

I gave one last sniffle, then settled down a little and nodded.  "Okay."  Deep breath.  "Well, I got to the picnic around ten, and I...I ran into Will over by the parking lot.  He told me that Stephan was his cousin, and..."  I shrugged.  "And, we went over to the party together."

Ken raised an eyebrow, arms folded speculatively over his chest.  "Hmm."

"Hmm?"

"I always @$(&$ thought that guy might be..."

I smacked him on the shoulder with my palm.  "Not together like that together," I told him, sticking out my tongue.  Of course, I did actually get the vibe that Will might be bi, but...well, now wasn't the time for that discussion.  "Anyway," I went on, "so we got over to the tent, and Will was gonna go over and see Stephan, but I didn't want to because of...well, because of what happened in third grade.  But, Will insisted, so I went along with him."

"@$(*&$ dragged ya, huh?"

I sighed.  "Yeah.  Besides..."  A grin slipped onto my lips, and the Wonderful Almighty Freedom of what we'd just talked about liberated me enough to add, "And, besides, he's reeeeeeeeeally cute.  I would've probably stuck my head in a flaming barrel of gasoline if he'd asked me to."

Ken snickered, but didn't say anything, so I continued. 

"So, we finally got over to Stephan.  He was standing over by that buffet table they had set up, talking to a bunch of girls, and..."  My voice went suddenly quiet, as the scene played out in my head and I remembered, again, how it'd ended.  I bent forward and took another quick gulp of Ken's lemonade before I felt strong enough to go on.

*****

He froze when he saw me.

He'd been talking, saying something terribly amusing from the way all the girls were grinning at him, but...but, he trailed off when Will and I walked up, jaw going slack, and stared at me like I was some kind of apparition.  And, it was only right then that I remembered that I was wearing a tank top, only right then that I realized that there was no way he could think I was a girl now, with my nice flat male chest glaring at him like this.  God, what was he gonna think?  He'd probably hate me, and rightly so--I'd tricked him into kissing a boy, and...and, gaaaaaaah, what the hell was I even doing at this stupid picnic, anyway??

But, then, he smiled.  "Hello, Ryan."

R...Ryan??  He...

"It's been a long time."

I was so shocked that I didn't answer for a long minute, my mouth working without sound...and, then, I snapped out of it.  "Y-Yeah!  It's been...it's been a long time."

He knows I'm a guy?  He knows I'm a guy, and he's not going to tie me to a chair and beat me up or something??

There was a long, awkward pause...

And, then, Will had stepped past me and given his cousin a quick, affectionate hug.  "So," Will commented with a dazzling smile, "you just couldn't stay away, could you?"

Stephan matched the smile, and despite myself, I couldn't help but note the family resemblance.  Aside from both being insanely good looking (scared out of my mind or not, it was hard not to notice that), their eyes were very nearly the same shade, and their hair seemed to be of the same silky, shampoo-commercial texture, despite being different colors.  Of course, Will was muscular while Stephan was just skinny, and Will was also definitely more attractive, but they were both tall and dashing and had smiles that could kill--and, for the first time, I understood the flock of girls.

But...also for the first time, I understood why Stephan hadn't been upset to see me, and why he wasn't going to hate me for being a guy.

He was gay.

*****

Ken burst out laughing.  "Well, I coulda @#($*&$ toldja that, ya moron!  What the hell, Ry!?  Thought you guys were supposed to some kinda @$(*&$ radar or somethin'."

I smacked him with a pillow.  "That's a myth.  I'm just as clueless as everybody else about who's gay and who's not.  I mean, I think it has to do more with watching people and spotting patterns in their voices and their movements and stuff, but...but that's all it is, really.  I can't just look at a guy and know if he's gay or not, anymore than you can."  I lifted an eyebrow.  "Although, you did know about Stephan...and me...and Will..."

"Aww, shut the hell up.  I heard about it from some guy at school."

I grinned, but decided to stop teasing him--at least for now.  "Well, anyway, I didn't know he was gay.  I mean, who would think a gay guy would want to move back into this place, when he could be somewhere where he wouldn't have to hide?  I guess it just never crossed my mind before then."

"What was it that set ya off?  I mean, how'd ya figure it out right then?"

I was silent for a moment, running the scene through my mind again; I chewed a little absently on my lower lip.  "I guess it was a lot of things.  Lots of little clues all coming together at the same time.  The way he and Will hugged--d'you ever notice that gay guys hug people a lot differently than straight guys?--and the way he was looking at the girls, and the fact that he didn't look upset to find out that I was a guy, and...I don't know.  It was a lot of stuff."

"So, what @(*&@$@$ happened next, huh?"

I sighed.  "Well, he wanted to talk to me privately, so w--"

I broke off, the chiming of the doorbell slicing through my words.  Ken jumped.

"Who the @$(&@$ could that be?" he muttered as I rose to my feet, started moving towards the door.

I didn't think to peer through the window and see who was there--why would I?  Small town, neighbors dropping by all the time, friends coming to visit without warning...so, I didn't look.  I just walked up to the door, grabbed onto the knob, and swung it open. 

I regretted it immediately.

I barely got a glimpse of their faces before one of them had lunged forward, grabbed me by my collar, and dragged me outside. 

*****