Metal Gear Solid 2 Funnies
Scene 1
:: At the beginning of the Plant chapter, Raiden jumps out of the pool and runs to the elevator::
Raiden: Hey, Colonel, I think that you're part of a secret organization in the White House that is trying to make me a better soldier, or something.
Colonel: Why would you think that?
Raiden: Because, everything in this plant is exactly the same as in the orginal Metal Gear: Solid! Retard.
Colonel: ::nervously:: Uhhhh……. No it's not, there's a node!
:: At that exact moment, the codec gets fuzzy::
Raiden: Colonel, did you just say I WAS A NERD!?
Colonel: No, idiot!
::Everyone on the mission switches to U.S. Cellular::
::Raiden runs around the Big Shell, doing flips, hanging off ledges, and killing bad guys::
Raiden: Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
:: The Colonel hangs up::
Raiden: Crap. Now I'm gonna have to do some work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
:: Raiden comes across Fortune::
Fortune: Hello, my name is Lady Luck, and I'm going to kill you with this REALLY BIG GUN!
Raiden: I thought that they said your name was Fortune.
Fortune: It is.
Raiden: But you said it was Lady Luck.
Fortune: People call me both.
Raiden: Oh, hi Both.
Fortune: AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! I will kill you now.
:: Fortune charges up her big gun::
::Raiden pulls out his M9 and shoots a dart that hits her between the eyes::
Fortune: NOO!!!!!!! You weren't supposed to be able to hit me!
Raiden: Ummm…… They forgot to turn your magnetic doo-hickey on.
::Fortune goes THUD on the ground::
::Raiden meets Fatman::
::Fatman starts to play the Freeze the C4 Game with Raiden::
Raiden:: Uh-uh, I spent 1 and a half hours on this level last time.
::Raiden turns invisible and sucker punches Fatman in the mouth, knocking him out and ending the game of Freeze the C4::
::The big sappy Fatman story follow::
Raiden: ::snore::
Fatman: … and so, I have A HUGEASS BOMB HIDING UNDER MY BIG FAT BODY THAT WILL BLOW EVERYONE HERE TO KINGDOM COME!
:: Raiden wakes up, gets annoyed at Fatman for yelling and waking him up, and shoots him in the head with the Stinger missiles (which, if you remember, he didn't have them yet, but oh Well)::
:: Fatchunks fly everywhere. Raiden sees bomb countdown in upper right hand corner of television screen::
Raiden: OH CRAP! WHERE DID HE PUT THE BOMB?
:: Rose sends him a message::
Rose: See ya later, sucker!! DIEDIEDIE!!!! You are going to cheat on me in Shell 2, so DIE!!!!!!!
Raiden: Rose! Where is the bomb hidden?
Rose: 5!
Raiden: ROSE! WHERE IS IT HIDDEN?
Rose: 4!
Raiden: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! ROSE!!!
Rose: 3
Rose: 2!
Raiden: RRRRROOOOOOSSSSEEE!!!!!!!
::BOOOM!::
::Rose mock cries at game over screen::
Rose: JACK!! ::snickers::
::Raiden selects continue::
Rose: Damn!
::Raiden is fighting Vamp in Shell 2. Raiden shoots Vamp through the heart::
Raiden: Why won't you DIE?
Vamp: First of all, my life meter isn't down all the way, and once you get that far, I'll make a surprise return in the end to kill your PROSTITUTE!!!!!!
Raiden: Huh? I don't have a prostitute!
::Rose codecs him::
Rose: Yes you do.
Raiden: No I don't.
Vamp: You won't after I kill her.
Rose: ::cheering:: Give me a V! V! Give me an A! A! M! M! P! P! What's that spell? RAIDEN'S PROSTITUTE IS GONNA DIE!!!!!!
Raiden: THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::Raiden goes to Shell 1 again to infiltrate Arsenal Gear. About to enter Arsenal Gear.::
Raiden: So……. I wonder who the bad guy behind this is.
Snake: I'M THE BAD GUY!
:: Snake shoots Raiden in the leg::
Raiden: OWWWWWW!!!! What was THAT for?
::Ninja drops out of nowhere::
Ninja: I'm the bad guy!
::Ninja presses button on helmet::
Raiden: OLGA!???
::Ninja whacks Raiden on the head with her sword. Raiden passes out::
::Raiden wakes up naked. People arguing in background.::
Solidus: I'm the BAD GUY!
Olga: I'm the bad guy!
Colonel Campbell: I'm the bad guy, because I am secretly manipulating all of you!!!!!!
Snake: I'm the bad guy!
Ocelot: Damnit! I'm the bad guy! I can prove it too.
::Ocelot shows them his arm, which turns him into Liquid immediately::
Liquid: Hello brothers! I'm THE BAD GUY!
Snake: You can't be a bad guy. You're an ARM!
:: everyone laughs at the arm::
Liquid: I'll show you.
:: Meanwhile, Raiden is in a locker somewhere with Rose dirty-talking him, and they are kinda………….::
Rose: OHHH!!!! You ARE A BAD GUY!
::Everyone looks over to the locker bouncing up and down::
Solidus: Yup. He's the bad guy.
He everybody, this is the Author. Hope you liked my opinion of Metal Gear Solid 2. I still like the game, don't get me wrong, but that is how it goes. I would appreciate some good reviews to know if I should continue the whole Parody thing. Thanx.
YJ02
P.S Have you ever realized how JACK and ROSE are two lovers taken from the TITANIC?
Scene 1
:: At the beginning of the Plant chapter, Raiden jumps out of the pool and runs to the elevator::
Raiden: Hey, Colonel, I think that you're part of a secret organization in the White House that is trying to make me a better soldier, or something.
Colonel: Why would you think that?
Raiden: Because, everything in this plant is exactly the same as in the orginal Metal Gear: Solid! Retard.
Colonel: ::nervously:: Uhhhh……. No it's not, there's a node!
:: At that exact moment, the codec gets fuzzy::
Raiden: Colonel, did you just say I WAS A NERD!?
Colonel: No, idiot!
::Everyone on the mission switches to U.S. Cellular::
::Raiden runs around the Big Shell, doing flips, hanging off ledges, and killing bad guys::
Raiden: Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
Colonel: Yes.
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?
:: The Colonel hangs up::
Raiden: Crap. Now I'm gonna have to do some work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
:: Raiden comes across Fortune::
Fortune: Hello, my name is Lady Luck, and I'm going to kill you with this REALLY BIG GUN!
Raiden: I thought that they said your name was Fortune.
Fortune: It is.
Raiden: But you said it was Lady Luck.
Fortune: People call me both.
Raiden: Oh, hi Both.
Fortune: AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! I will kill you now.
:: Fortune charges up her big gun::
::Raiden pulls out his M9 and shoots a dart that hits her between the eyes::
Fortune: NOO!!!!!!! You weren't supposed to be able to hit me!
Raiden: Ummm…… They forgot to turn your magnetic doo-hickey on.
::Fortune goes THUD on the ground::
::Raiden meets Fatman::
::Fatman starts to play the Freeze the C4 Game with Raiden::
Raiden:: Uh-uh, I spent 1 and a half hours on this level last time.
::Raiden turns invisible and sucker punches Fatman in the mouth, knocking him out and ending the game of Freeze the C4::
::The big sappy Fatman story follow::
Raiden: ::snore::
Fatman: … and so, I have A HUGEASS BOMB HIDING UNDER MY BIG FAT BODY THAT WILL BLOW EVERYONE HERE TO KINGDOM COME!
:: Raiden wakes up, gets annoyed at Fatman for yelling and waking him up, and shoots him in the head with the Stinger missiles (which, if you remember, he didn't have them yet, but oh Well)::
:: Fatchunks fly everywhere. Raiden sees bomb countdown in upper right hand corner of television screen::
Raiden: OH CRAP! WHERE DID HE PUT THE BOMB?
:: Rose sends him a message::
Rose: See ya later, sucker!! DIEDIEDIE!!!! You are going to cheat on me in Shell 2, so DIE!!!!!!!
Raiden: Rose! Where is the bomb hidden?
Rose: 5!
Raiden: ROSE! WHERE IS IT HIDDEN?
Rose: 4!
Raiden: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! ROSE!!!
Rose: 3
Rose: 2!
Raiden: RRRRROOOOOOSSSSEEE!!!!!!!
::BOOOM!::
::Rose mock cries at game over screen::
Rose: JACK!! ::snickers::
::Raiden selects continue::
Rose: Damn!
::Raiden is fighting Vamp in Shell 2. Raiden shoots Vamp through the heart::
Raiden: Why won't you DIE?
Vamp: First of all, my life meter isn't down all the way, and once you get that far, I'll make a surprise return in the end to kill your PROSTITUTE!!!!!!
Raiden: Huh? I don't have a prostitute!
::Rose codecs him::
Rose: Yes you do.
Raiden: No I don't.
Vamp: You won't after I kill her.
Rose: ::cheering:: Give me a V! V! Give me an A! A! M! M! P! P! What's that spell? RAIDEN'S PROSTITUTE IS GONNA DIE!!!!!!
Raiden: THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::Raiden goes to Shell 1 again to infiltrate Arsenal Gear. About to enter Arsenal Gear.::
Raiden: So……. I wonder who the bad guy behind this is.
Snake: I'M THE BAD GUY!
:: Snake shoots Raiden in the leg::
Raiden: OWWWWWW!!!! What was THAT for?
::Ninja drops out of nowhere::
Ninja: I'm the bad guy!
::Ninja presses button on helmet::
Raiden: OLGA!???
::Ninja whacks Raiden on the head with her sword. Raiden passes out::
::Raiden wakes up naked. People arguing in background.::
Solidus: I'm the BAD GUY!
Olga: I'm the bad guy!
Colonel Campbell: I'm the bad guy, because I am secretly manipulating all of you!!!!!!
Snake: I'm the bad guy!
Ocelot: Damnit! I'm the bad guy! I can prove it too.
::Ocelot shows them his arm, which turns him into Liquid immediately::
Liquid: Hello brothers! I'm THE BAD GUY!
Snake: You can't be a bad guy. You're an ARM!
:: everyone laughs at the arm::
Liquid: I'll show you.
:: Meanwhile, Raiden is in a locker somewhere with Rose dirty-talking him, and they are kinda………….::
Rose: OHHH!!!! You ARE A BAD GUY!
::Everyone looks over to the locker bouncing up and down::
Solidus: Yup. He's the bad guy.
He everybody, this is the Author. Hope you liked my opinion of Metal Gear Solid 2. I still like the game, don't get me wrong, but that is how it goes. I would appreciate some good reviews to know if I should continue the whole Parody thing. Thanx.
YJ02
P.S Have you ever realized how JACK and ROSE are two lovers taken from the TITANIC?