Author: Sup? I want you to know that all this Metal Gear stuff is
copyright to that one guy with the long name.
Snake: Shigeru Miyamoto, to be exact.
Otacon: Dumbass! That is the Zelda dude!
Snake: Oh really? Then what's his name?
Otacon: Ummmm……… I forgot.
Author: Ok now guys, simmer down. Where should I begin????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
:: Snake jumps off of bridgeand lands on tanker. His left ankle twists and breaks. His leg now looks all funny and bent with nasty bone and stuff sticking out.::
Otacon: Snake, are you there?
Snake: (in extreme pain) yeah, but it was a rough landing, I think I broke something.
Otacon: DAMN IT SNAKE! You better not have busted the stealth camoflauge, or I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Author: Ok……. Maybe not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Snake lands on Tanker (without breaking any bones. Stealth camo busts, though.) Calls Otacon
Snake: Hey Otacon, I'm here. But the Stealth is busted.
Otacon: I'm pissed at you. You suck.
Snake: Chill. Otacon? What is my mission?
Otacon: Nunya.
Snake: OTACON!
Otacon: Don't talk to me! You busted my last Stealth pack. I HATE YOU!
Snake: Don't worry, I got another one.
Otacon: How did you do that?
Snake: Dog tags.
Otacon: Huh?
Snake: Never mind.
Otacon: O………….k………….. Anyways, your mission is to find that brand new Metal Gear and take a picture.
Snake: A picture? One freaking picture?
Otacon: Nope. Four pictures.
Snake: (sarcastically) Oh, well that makes me feel a lot better. Don't I get to blow anything up this time?
Otacon: Nope.
:: Snake gives Otacon a sad puppy dog face::
Snake: PLLEEEEEEEEAAASEEEE???
Otacon: Nope. No explosions.
Snake: Do I get a Nikita?
Otacon: Nope.
Snake: A Stinger?
Otacon: Nope.
Snake: One of those grenade launcher thingies?
Otacon: Nope. Raiden gets one, though.
Snake: Who the hell is Raiden?
Otacon: Nevermind.
::Snake goes inside, and gets discovered. He is being chased by 20 bad dudes with big guns when he suddenly turns around and holds out his hand::
Snake: Hold on just a second.
Soldier #1: O.K.
::Snake calls Otacon on Codec::
Snake to Soldiers: This might take awhile.
Soldier #2: I'm gonna go get some coffee, then.
Snake: Otacon, what do I do to get away from these guys?
Otacon: RUN SNAKE! THEY ARE GONNA SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU ARE TALKING TO ME!
Snake: No they won't. Everyone stops what they are doing when I use my Codec, or reach for a gun, or even an item. They kinda freeze in time, or something.
Otacon: Well…. That's not very realistic. I though this game was supposed to be like real life.
Snake: It is! It's exactly like real life!
Otacon: PUHLEASE SNAKE! This is SOOOO fake, it isn't even funny.
Snake: What do you mean?
Otacon: You get shot in the head and as long as you have a ration in your hand, you stay alive.
Snake: SO? That's pretty realistic. I think.
Otacon: Oh shit. YOU ARE A RETARD!
:: Soldier #23 shoots Snake in the head. (yes, there are still only 20 soldiers. You're paying attention. YAY!)::
Snake: Oww!
::Snake looks at his life meter in the upper left-hand corner of the screen.::
Otacon: See what I mean? It's still half full. Another thing, you are a freaking OLD MAN! How can you possibly do 50 somersaults, hang off of a ledge for half an hour, and then turn around and kick a pregnant lady's ass? A PREGNANT LADY, for GOD's SAKE! You are MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Snake: Hey now, I didn't know she was pregnant.
Author: O……….k………. I never figured Metal Gear would turn into a soap opera, but, wudeva.
Otacon: HEY!! You SHUT UP! It's not my fault that I slept with my step- mom!
Snake: You slept with your step-mommy? Yucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:: Snake gets through taking pictures of Metal Gear Ray, and puts them into computer::
Otacon: Snake, THESE PICTURES SUCK!!!! But we'll use them. You still have to get blown up by Ocelot so that girlie boy can play the game at that sea shell place.
Snake: Shalashaska is gonna blow me up?
Otacon: No…. Ocelot.
Raiden: HEY NOW!! I AM NOT GIRLIE! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! AND A PROSTITUTE!
Rose: You DO have a prostitute!!!!!!!
Snake: You're not girlie?
::Snake rolls on the floor, laughing, while being shot at by marines with no underpants::
Snake: You WEAR A FREAKING WIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Raiden: Hey! It's for ammo!
Otacon: Retard. That's what a bandana is for.
Raiden: Damn!
Emma: I AM NNNNOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT A PROSTITUTE!!!!!
Otacon: E.E.?
Emma: DAMN IT!! YOU BASTARD! STOP CALLING ME THAT STUPID NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: Hey now. EVERYBODY CHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Emma, Raiden, Rose, what the hell are you guys doing in the Tanker chapter?
Raiden: Ummmmmmmmm…………………
Rose: Oops……
Emma: Byebye!
Rose: ::under breath:: bitch
Emma: HEY, I HEARD THAT!
Rose: So what? Why don't you WALK over here and fight me?!
:: Emma's legs aren't working, by the way::
Raiden: Ooo…. That was low.
:: Rose and Emma start cat-fighting::
Marines in background: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Ummmmmmmm………….. sorry bout that. Next time, on Jerry Springer!!!!!!!!! Ummmm……….. errrr………. I see a law suit coming out of that. Cross that out, Mr. Beta Reader person. What I meant to say was, NEXT time on Wooden Gear Liquid, the pointless VR Missions, along with Solidus meets Solid meets Liquid-arm/Ocelot, the REUNION OF THE REPTILES!
::Author touches ear for a sec::
Author: What did you say? I don't HAVE A BETA READER? Damn.
Snake: Shigeru Miyamoto, to be exact.
Otacon: Dumbass! That is the Zelda dude!
Snake: Oh really? Then what's his name?
Otacon: Ummmm……… I forgot.
Author: Ok now guys, simmer down. Where should I begin????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
:: Snake jumps off of bridgeand lands on tanker. His left ankle twists and breaks. His leg now looks all funny and bent with nasty bone and stuff sticking out.::
Otacon: Snake, are you there?
Snake: (in extreme pain) yeah, but it was a rough landing, I think I broke something.
Otacon: DAMN IT SNAKE! You better not have busted the stealth camoflauge, or I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Author: Ok……. Maybe not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Snake lands on Tanker (without breaking any bones. Stealth camo busts, though.) Calls Otacon
Snake: Hey Otacon, I'm here. But the Stealth is busted.
Otacon: I'm pissed at you. You suck.
Snake: Chill. Otacon? What is my mission?
Otacon: Nunya.
Snake: OTACON!
Otacon: Don't talk to me! You busted my last Stealth pack. I HATE YOU!
Snake: Don't worry, I got another one.
Otacon: How did you do that?
Snake: Dog tags.
Otacon: Huh?
Snake: Never mind.
Otacon: O………….k………….. Anyways, your mission is to find that brand new Metal Gear and take a picture.
Snake: A picture? One freaking picture?
Otacon: Nope. Four pictures.
Snake: (sarcastically) Oh, well that makes me feel a lot better. Don't I get to blow anything up this time?
Otacon: Nope.
:: Snake gives Otacon a sad puppy dog face::
Snake: PLLEEEEEEEEAAASEEEE???
Otacon: Nope. No explosions.
Snake: Do I get a Nikita?
Otacon: Nope.
Snake: A Stinger?
Otacon: Nope.
Snake: One of those grenade launcher thingies?
Otacon: Nope. Raiden gets one, though.
Snake: Who the hell is Raiden?
Otacon: Nevermind.
::Snake goes inside, and gets discovered. He is being chased by 20 bad dudes with big guns when he suddenly turns around and holds out his hand::
Snake: Hold on just a second.
Soldier #1: O.K.
::Snake calls Otacon on Codec::
Snake to Soldiers: This might take awhile.
Soldier #2: I'm gonna go get some coffee, then.
Snake: Otacon, what do I do to get away from these guys?
Otacon: RUN SNAKE! THEY ARE GONNA SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU ARE TALKING TO ME!
Snake: No they won't. Everyone stops what they are doing when I use my Codec, or reach for a gun, or even an item. They kinda freeze in time, or something.
Otacon: Well…. That's not very realistic. I though this game was supposed to be like real life.
Snake: It is! It's exactly like real life!
Otacon: PUHLEASE SNAKE! This is SOOOO fake, it isn't even funny.
Snake: What do you mean?
Otacon: You get shot in the head and as long as you have a ration in your hand, you stay alive.
Snake: SO? That's pretty realistic. I think.
Otacon: Oh shit. YOU ARE A RETARD!
:: Soldier #23 shoots Snake in the head. (yes, there are still only 20 soldiers. You're paying attention. YAY!)::
Snake: Oww!
::Snake looks at his life meter in the upper left-hand corner of the screen.::
Otacon: See what I mean? It's still half full. Another thing, you are a freaking OLD MAN! How can you possibly do 50 somersaults, hang off of a ledge for half an hour, and then turn around and kick a pregnant lady's ass? A PREGNANT LADY, for GOD's SAKE! You are MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Snake: Hey now, I didn't know she was pregnant.
Author: O……….k………. I never figured Metal Gear would turn into a soap opera, but, wudeva.
Otacon: HEY!! You SHUT UP! It's not my fault that I slept with my step- mom!
Snake: You slept with your step-mommy? Yucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:: Snake gets through taking pictures of Metal Gear Ray, and puts them into computer::
Otacon: Snake, THESE PICTURES SUCK!!!! But we'll use them. You still have to get blown up by Ocelot so that girlie boy can play the game at that sea shell place.
Snake: Shalashaska is gonna blow me up?
Otacon: No…. Ocelot.
Raiden: HEY NOW!! I AM NOT GIRLIE! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! AND A PROSTITUTE!
Rose: You DO have a prostitute!!!!!!!
Snake: You're not girlie?
::Snake rolls on the floor, laughing, while being shot at by marines with no underpants::
Snake: You WEAR A FREAKING WIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Raiden: Hey! It's for ammo!
Otacon: Retard. That's what a bandana is for.
Raiden: Damn!
Emma: I AM NNNNOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT A PROSTITUTE!!!!!
Otacon: E.E.?
Emma: DAMN IT!! YOU BASTARD! STOP CALLING ME THAT STUPID NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: Hey now. EVERYBODY CHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Emma, Raiden, Rose, what the hell are you guys doing in the Tanker chapter?
Raiden: Ummmmmmmmm…………………
Rose: Oops……
Emma: Byebye!
Rose: ::under breath:: bitch
Emma: HEY, I HEARD THAT!
Rose: So what? Why don't you WALK over here and fight me?!
:: Emma's legs aren't working, by the way::
Raiden: Ooo…. That was low.
:: Rose and Emma start cat-fighting::
Marines in background: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Ummmmmmmm………….. sorry bout that. Next time, on Jerry Springer!!!!!!!!! Ummmm……….. errrr………. I see a law suit coming out of that. Cross that out, Mr. Beta Reader person. What I meant to say was, NEXT time on Wooden Gear Liquid, the pointless VR Missions, along with Solidus meets Solid meets Liquid-arm/Ocelot, the REUNION OF THE REPTILES!
::Author touches ear for a sec::
Author: What did you say? I don't HAVE A BETA READER? Damn.