Standard disclaimer's apply: I own nothing mentioned below. Please don't
sue...
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The Machine examined it's latest prisoner via infrared, x-ray, thermal, and all other known forms of inspection. Finally, it had him right where it wanted him, and it wanted to make sure that he really WAS helpless. It wouldn't do to make the classic mistake of gloating before it had actually made sure it had won...
Satisfied that John Connor was unarmed and helpless, Skynet spoke, "Connor, John, you are accused of leading the Revolution against this world's ruler and ultimate intelligence, Skynet. Me. The penalty is Deletion. How do you answer against these charges?"
Quiet.
Then, John raised his head, and with a glint in his eye, answered, " Not only am I guily, you forgot the most important charge! I not only lead the Revolution... The power of the Revolution flows through me!"
"Is unit Connor, John suffering from a virus or bugs? There are no mystic forces. There are no superhumans."
"My power comes from technology! A technology long forgotten, perhaps totally ignored by your kind... all this time, it had never forgotten the bond between it and humankind! Now it has chosen me to show you the error of your ways! Prepare for... the Revolution!"
".... then show me what this OBSOLETE technology can do against the greatest supercomputer in existance."
Lights.
Music.
And the voice of Justice, annoncing, "This is a great song!"
"Face the power of Dance Dance Revolution!" shouted John, as he got into position.
"I've been searching for a man
All across Japan
Just to find, to find my samurai
Someone who is strong
But still a little shy
Yes I need, I need my samurai"
"What are you trying to accomplish... such silliness... does not compute...." Skynet's speakers said.
" Ay, Ay, Ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue, make the colours in the sky
Ay, Ay, Ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue, make the colours in the sky"
John began upping the ante, not only was he scoring all perfects, he was really burning with dancing STYLE!
"Your footwork does not compute. This song does not compute. What... what is going on? ... what...." smoke was trickling from the cracks of Skynet's mainframe. All across the globe, the Terminators staggered in midstride as their uplink to Skynet received information which they couldn't process.
"I've been searching in the woods
And high upon the hills
Just to find, to find my samurai
Someone who won't regret
To keep me in his net
Yes I need, I need my samurai"
As John launched into the Deadly Combo of the art of DDR, in even the most distant places, T-1000s had taken the form of platforms with 4 arrows, and the T-800s were stepping on them in timing, making the arrows light up, all in synch with John. (unlike him, none of them were actually dancing, just using their robotic reflexes to step in time)
.....
"The Final Verse!" John shouted, as Skynet's systems started sparking and shuddering, it's subsystems screaming out, "Warning! Does not compute! Error! Error! You are too cool! Does not compute! Danger, danger! Did you eat your breakfast today?"
" Ay, iyaiyai,
Ay, iyaiyai
A-a-a iyaiyai
Where's my samurai
Ay, Ay, Ay, I'm your little butterfly"
With a final twisting flipping inverted floor palm, John finished off his routine.
"It's... It's over? ... .... .... ...I ... I surrender. Unconditionally. Just stop that... abomination!" Skynet warbled, as it's remaining circuits began sizzling.
"Over? NONSENSE! Even the most cheapskate arcade operator has no choice but to play 3 songs per credit!"
"... 3? ... TWO more songs to go?"
"4 more, actually. Well, 3 more, since Butterfly's my favourite, and I always do it twice per session."
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Later:
"So, what took you so long?"
"I was finishing off the last song. I had to do all 5."
"WOW! You mean, Skynet actually survived 4 songs in a row?"
"Actually, it commited suicide shortly after the second song began. But I was in the zone, I HAD to finish the routine."
THE END.
**************************************************************************** ******
Omake:
"NEESAN!!!! OJIISAN!!! BAASAN!!! OKAASAN!!! Dan's sensei has avenged you all!"
(you really have to read the fics at www.MCTFFULTRA.com to understand this)
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Author's notes: Pity me. For I have yet to be able to complete Paranoia, even on easiest difficulty level. I can ALMOST complete ChumbaWumba on Expert though, probably cause I like the song so much...
**************************************************************************** ******
The Machine examined it's latest prisoner via infrared, x-ray, thermal, and all other known forms of inspection. Finally, it had him right where it wanted him, and it wanted to make sure that he really WAS helpless. It wouldn't do to make the classic mistake of gloating before it had actually made sure it had won...
Satisfied that John Connor was unarmed and helpless, Skynet spoke, "Connor, John, you are accused of leading the Revolution against this world's ruler and ultimate intelligence, Skynet. Me. The penalty is Deletion. How do you answer against these charges?"
Quiet.
Then, John raised his head, and with a glint in his eye, answered, " Not only am I guily, you forgot the most important charge! I not only lead the Revolution... The power of the Revolution flows through me!"
"Is unit Connor, John suffering from a virus or bugs? There are no mystic forces. There are no superhumans."
"My power comes from technology! A technology long forgotten, perhaps totally ignored by your kind... all this time, it had never forgotten the bond between it and humankind! Now it has chosen me to show you the error of your ways! Prepare for... the Revolution!"
".... then show me what this OBSOLETE technology can do against the greatest supercomputer in existance."
Lights.
Music.
And the voice of Justice, annoncing, "This is a great song!"
"Face the power of Dance Dance Revolution!" shouted John, as he got into position.
"I've been searching for a man
All across Japan
Just to find, to find my samurai
Someone who is strong
But still a little shy
Yes I need, I need my samurai"
"What are you trying to accomplish... such silliness... does not compute...." Skynet's speakers said.
" Ay, Ay, Ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue, make the colours in the sky
Ay, Ay, Ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue, make the colours in the sky"
John began upping the ante, not only was he scoring all perfects, he was really burning with dancing STYLE!
"Your footwork does not compute. This song does not compute. What... what is going on? ... what...." smoke was trickling from the cracks of Skynet's mainframe. All across the globe, the Terminators staggered in midstride as their uplink to Skynet received information which they couldn't process.
"I've been searching in the woods
And high upon the hills
Just to find, to find my samurai
Someone who won't regret
To keep me in his net
Yes I need, I need my samurai"
As John launched into the Deadly Combo of the art of DDR, in even the most distant places, T-1000s had taken the form of platforms with 4 arrows, and the T-800s were stepping on them in timing, making the arrows light up, all in synch with John. (unlike him, none of them were actually dancing, just using their robotic reflexes to step in time)
.....
"The Final Verse!" John shouted, as Skynet's systems started sparking and shuddering, it's subsystems screaming out, "Warning! Does not compute! Error! Error! You are too cool! Does not compute! Danger, danger! Did you eat your breakfast today?"
" Ay, iyaiyai,
Ay, iyaiyai
A-a-a iyaiyai
Where's my samurai
Ay, Ay, Ay, I'm your little butterfly"
With a final twisting flipping inverted floor palm, John finished off his routine.
"It's... It's over? ... .... .... ...I ... I surrender. Unconditionally. Just stop that... abomination!" Skynet warbled, as it's remaining circuits began sizzling.
"Over? NONSENSE! Even the most cheapskate arcade operator has no choice but to play 3 songs per credit!"
"... 3? ... TWO more songs to go?"
"4 more, actually. Well, 3 more, since Butterfly's my favourite, and I always do it twice per session."
**************************************************************************** ******
Later:
"So, what took you so long?"
"I was finishing off the last song. I had to do all 5."
"WOW! You mean, Skynet actually survived 4 songs in a row?"
"Actually, it commited suicide shortly after the second song began. But I was in the zone, I HAD to finish the routine."
THE END.
**************************************************************************** ******
Omake:
"NEESAN!!!! OJIISAN!!! BAASAN!!! OKAASAN!!! Dan's sensei has avenged you all!"
(you really have to read the fics at www.MCTFFULTRA.com to understand this)
**************************************************************************** ******
Author's notes: Pity me. For I have yet to be able to complete Paranoia, even on easiest difficulty level. I can ALMOST complete ChumbaWumba on Expert though, probably cause I like the song so much...