endearment

I wonder if people still use real trees for Christmas anymore.

That was my thought of the moment as I walked through the department store. The holidays were coming up, and fast, and no gifts either.

I really suck at the shopping ahead-of-time thing.

I had a goal though, to actually find a useful gift for Heero, one that would preferably make him say a complete sentence to me without any of the glares from his repertoire.

What would he need anyway?

I pondered it as I walked throught the store in my preoccupied state. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could feel the salesclerks watching me for no reason.

I hadn't taken anything yet.

People don't trust enough anymore.

Anymore, anymore.

Nevermore. Nevermore.

I laughed as the vague thought surfaced from a literature class. Edgar Allen Poe. Now that was one terrifically screwed person. Him and e.e.cummings and Vincent VanGogh, even though VanGogh's not even a poe-

I could just get him a new holster. That would work. I can only imagine what kind of hell that thing goes through on a normal day. It would be useful. I can hardly imagine what shit the shoulder holsters he has already must go through.

I don't like his job, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't take it into account. He's doing what he does best, and I can't blame him for that. I guess Peacecraft-san's ideas haven't quite left the desired effect on his conscience. So he goes out every night and comes back at 3 in the morning, blood crusting on his wounds, not all his, and blue eyes that just-

Not that I give a shit.

Who am I to care?

He pays his share of the rent, so I guess his…

Okay, I'm not that cruel. I'm worried about him, it's not good to be killing so many people for so long. It's not healthy. It's not good for him- I mean, it's a way and means, and not to say that he doesn't do anything productive, it's just that he-

I'm just worried. Simple concern.

That's all.

Glancing at a display case of watches, I smiled at my reflection, and then at the clerk behind the glass box. She was cute, in a way. Her hair was a sharp shade of jet black, making her ethereal pale skin look even more like alabaster than it already did. Somehow, it seemed like shades that should make a woman look sleek and sophisticated.

Then again, the girl only looked to be about seventeen, and something about her made it seem so…

Cute.

You don't ask. I don't ask.

"How much is the one right there?" I asked, jabbing my finger towards some random timepiece.

"Not much." She grinned back at me… brightly.

Almost too bright.

God, I was starting to feel uncomfortable, and the girl only had said two words to me. Not a great sign. Something in the way she was looking at me was just… wrong. Her eyes darted to something under the case, out of my sight.

The sinking feeling in my stomach was dropping to thirty feet below sea level. A bad sign.

"Really." Maybe I should have asked it like a question, but I didn't, and now I just sounded like a smartass.

Her pleasant reality-shielded-salesperson demeanor was wearing thin, and if I hadn't been paying attention, I wouldn't have seen her hand moving behind her.

Aw, this was looking REAAAAAL good now.

I began to step back from the metal lining, boots making a small noise against the linoleum flooring. My, this section was… vacant.

If there wasn't any other way to describe this, it would have been a big flashing sign that read "SETUP".

"Move another inch, Duo Maxwell, and this bullet will be deeply lodged in your cranium. "

Didn't see that one coming, nooo…

She maneuvered her hands just so, and I could see the small pistol titled right to where I could get lead lodged between my eyes and further. In her darkened eyes, I didn't see emotion, just that kind of perverse love of holding someone's life in your hands that I have come to recognize.

"What do you want?"

Ouch… That was a cliché.

"You live with Heero Yuy, don't you?"

Ah.. A friend of Heero's. I'll have to ask him someday about how he manages to piss these people off.

"We fought in the war."

"I know that." In her voice there was an edge of frustration.

"What does it matter?" I stepped towards her now, smiling again. Never stop smiling. The friendliest expression I know of is also able to confuse and infuriate just about anyone who doesn't know why you're doing it.

I didn't know either, really. It was bothering the kid though, and that was a good enough reason to be smug.

"Where is he going to be tomorrow night?" The pistol was beginning to waver.

"Why should I know?" The moment I said it, I thought of another question.

Why didn't I know?

Why don't I just kick him out, if only on the basis that he is anal when he comes home? I could pay the rent on my own, I know that. Why am I going out to get a gift for someone who just might not give a damn that it was a holiday that I held dear approaching?

Lord help me, I didn't know.

I really wanted to go home. REALLY wanted to get home.

I wanted to get home and talk to Heero and have him explain why the hell they knew who I was.

I just wanted to be near Heero, for that matter. It would be some kind of bizarre comfort to me, to know that he was near me.

The barrel was shifting from side to side.

"What do you want him for?"

She blinked, transferring her weight to her other leg. I've done that before, you know, when you stand up for too long, and then it feels like your leg is jammed into it's socket. I have to give her credit. It's very uncomfortable, have to give her credit for standing like that for so long. It does get annoying.

Then again, we haven't been like this for very long.

I really needed Heero to get here.

Why did I want him here? NOW of all times?

"I need his location. Just tell me and you don't get hurt."

How nice.

Why don't I just turn him over, make this easier?

It could all be so simple.

I'd miss him.

That was all.

I'd miss hearing his voice murmuring "Baka" under his breath every time I said something out of the blue, even if it was relevant. I'd miss having a reason to be staying up late, so he'd just collapse on the sofa next to me as I channel surfed. I'd miss seeing his face when I said something that /really/ surprised him, and watching with amazement when I find out tthat there are more emotions in his book than just the cold indifference and the occasional smugness.

I didn't want to lose him.

I've lost so many people before.

"Hurry up. I don't have all day," salesgirl-assassin hissed at me.

I shook my head at her, "Can't say. I haven't seen him since yesterday. He's not quite social." That was the truth. He wasn't "quite social" in the least.

"Don't be stupid."

"Funny, I hear that a lot." The line might've been more intimidating if she was taller than me. Growing about six inches in the past year and a half was hell on my wardrobe, not to say I wasn't thankful for it. I was only going to grow a few more inches anyway.

"…."

"Just put the gun down, miss. You're not going to shoot me, and it sure isn't scaring me. I don't want you to scare anyone else in the store."

Her eyes widened, and I could tell the only reason the gun was still up was because she was trying to be stubborn.

I did the only thing I could.

"Farewell!"

I turned and walked away.

Tell me if you can think of a better solution that doesn't get a bullet through the head or me arrested.

****

I glanced at the number on my door. 21C.

Ah, how nice to make it home.

To be honest, the place wasn't as nice as the thought of it.

The ceiling had stains, evidently from a previous tenant that was a chain smoker. At least it didn't reek of it anymore, as it had when we moved in. The floor was thinly carpeted, but it didn't creak as much as the last apartment we'd rented. The first was almost about to collapse, and even Heero admitted that it would be more logical to stay someplace sturdier. Beside that, it was also closer to the university, which also served us both just fine.

I unlocked the deadbolt, stepped inside, and kicked the door shut.

Judging from my limited view of the kitchen, Heero hadn't come home yet. There were still dishes in the sink.

I'm no neat-freak, I still keep things tidy.

I just don't like doing the dishes. Heero can handle that. I iron and vacuum.

Oh, life with Heero.

****

Three hours later, and I found myself stretched out over the couch, and feeling damnably miserable.

Heero wasn't home yet.

He should be home by now.

He's ALWAYS home by now.

Why the hell wasn't he here?!

He had dishes to do! I'm not going to do them! No way, no how!

My shoulders hung low on my frame as I sat up.

Moron. You knew it. You knew it.

You're worried.