1015 - TOW Ugly Naked Guy Returns
Phoebe Buffay - Tribiani, still known as Miss Buffay to the doctors and some of the nurses, was bringing her two-day old son home. Joey called a cab for the three to ride in. The triplets were staying with Chandler and Monica until they got home with the baby.
Phoebe walked into the nursery as the nurse opened the door to her. She carried the baby's car seat/ baby carrier and the diaper bag. She walked over to her son's bed and smiled at the sleeping baby. He was breathing softly in his sleep and making a sucking motion with his mouth.
Phoebe: There's my little Draven Joseph Tribiani.
Nurse: Hi Miss Buffay - Tribiani. Your baby boy is quite a healthy one. He's got some set of lungs!
Phoebe: Yeah. He stayed in my room the night he was born and he cried so much!
Nurse: Well, you've definitely got something interesting to look forward to, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah . . .
Joey knocked on the nursery window and the nurse happily let him in.
Phoebe picked Draven up and smiled as she put him down in the carrier.
Phoebe: Well, my little 8 1/2-pound baby boy. Are you ready to go home?
Joey: Phoebe, I'm so nervous.
Phoebe: Me too . . .I've never done this before.
Nurse: You'll both be fine. Phoebe, we put some first time parent phamplets in your bag.
Phoebe: I think we're ready to go.
Phoebe and Joey walked out of the nursery and got onto the empty elevator. The doors closed them inside. Baby Draven began to scream.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Joey: What do we do?! What do we do?!
Phoebe: I . . . well, first, we have to calm down.
Joey breathed in and out slowly. The baby continued to scream as the elevator doors opened on the first floor. Phoebe and Joey hurried over to a chair and put the carrier down in it. Phoebe picked up the baby and cradled him. He immediately stopped crying.
Phoebe: Wow! Here, go to daddy.
Phoebe started to hand Draven to Joey and the infant began to scream again. She pulled the baby back to her and he stopped.
Joey: Oh God! My son hates me!
Phoebe: No . . . no, he doesn't. He's just . . . he's just know me longer. He bonded with me for nine months. He knows me!
Joey: Well . . . I helped make him. Why does he hate me?
Phoebe: Maybe you're wearing weird cologne.
Joey: Nothing. I'm not wearing any cologne.
Phoebe: Well, maybe that's the reason.
*~*
Rachel was helping Ross clean out the last spare bedroom that they had in the apartment.
Rachel: Okay, if we have anymore kids after the boys, then we're gonna need a bigger place.
Ross: Yeah. I know.
Rachel: God, I can't believe we're doing this again. It seems like just yesterday we were doing this for Hannah.
Ross: Time flies by when you're having fun.
Rachel: Yeah . . .
Rachel sighed and stood up. Hannah ran into the room.
Hannah: Mommy! Daddy! Somebody is at the door! A really big man!
Ross looked at Rachel strangely.
Rachel and Ross left the room with Hannah and went into the living room. Ross saw Ugly Naked Guy!
Ross: Ugh . . .I mean, Mr. . .
UNG: Mr. Piggue.
Rachel: Oh that's right! Mr. Pig!
UNG: No . . .Piggue. It's French.
Rachel: Oh . . .
Ross: What can we do for you? How'd you get in?
UNG: You're little girl let me in. Actually I came to talk about un-subletting this place. I was living in a nudist camp for awhile. I realized how better the city was.
Ross: Oh . . . and?
UNG: Well, I want to live here again. But, I'll give you time to find a place before I move back in.
Rachel: You're kicking us out?
UNG: Well, yes. I guess you could say that.
*~*
Monica and Chandler were chasing their fast crawling twins around the apartment.
Chandler: And Alex is in the lead by a diaper!
Monica: No! That's Ally!
Chandler: Well, I can't tell! They're both in diapers!
Monica: Come on Ally! Let's go! You can beat him!
Chandler: Are you trying to give our son a complex? He'll think you don't support him!
Monica: Come on Alex! You're a boy! You're tough! Come on!
Chandler: Oh, so now you switch sides.
Monica rolled her eyes and looked down with Ally bumped into her leg.
Monica: Hi there sweetie.
Ally: Mommy!
Monica: Oh my God! She just said her first word!
Chandler picked up Alex.
Chandler: Say daddy!
Alex: Mommy!
Monica: He did too! Oh, my little babies are growing up!
A knock at the door was followed by Phoebe and Joey walking into the apartment with their newborn son. The baby was now out of his carrier and the carrier wasn't in sight. Phoebe and Joey had put it in their apartment and then walked across the hall to see Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Hey! There's the new baby!
Phoebe: Hey! Isn't he perfect?
Monica: I know! He's the most beautiful little guy! Well, besides my little boy.
Joey: He hates me.
Monica: Does he?
Joey: Yeah! He won't let me hold him!
Monica: Oh . . .
Phoebe: I think the baby's just really nervous. Like when I was on the street, I couldn't trust anyone.
Chandler: Yeah. That's the same.
Phoebe: Well, I need some sleep. I'm gonna go take a nap with my little man.
Phoebe left the apartment with the baby and Joey sat down on Monica and Chandler's couch.
Joey: I'm a terrible father.
Chandler: Aw, man, you're not. My kids don't hate you.
Joey: I guess not . . .
Monica: Joey, maybe you're just too tense around him. You need to relax. He'll be relaxed if you're relaxed.
Joey: You think?
Monica: I know.
Joey smiled and left the apartment. He walked over to his apartment, went inside, and shut the door.
*~*
Ross and Rachel were sitting on their couch now with Hannah.
Ross: There's an apartment next to Chandler and Monica's that is for rent. There are five bedrooms!
Rachel: Five?! Why didn't you say something before?!
Ross: Just didn't occur to me until now.
Rachel: I want that apartment, Ross!
Ross: Well, I'll call to find out.
Rachel: Okay, great! I'm going to go start packing!
Rachel walked down the hall and peeked into Hannah's nursery. The girl had three baby dolls in her arms.
Hannah: And you're my three babies!
Rachel smiled at the sight of her daughter.
Rachel: Hi sweetie. What are you doing?
Hannah: Playing with my triplets.
Rachel: I see . . .are you excited about your new brothers?
Hannah: Yeah! I get three babies!
Rachel: Yeah! And you're going to be their big sister.
Hannah: Yay!
Rachel laughed and sat down on the floor with Hannah. She decided to put off packing until later. She wanted to spend this tender time with her little girl.
*~*
An hour later, Joey was sitting on the chair beside the couch where Phoebe slept. He was peering into the bassinet, wondering if he should pick up his son or not.
Joey: Okay Joey. You're calm. You're calm.
Joey exhaled and crept over to the bassinet. He reached in and lifted his son out. The baby didn't cry at all. Joey smiled.
Joey: You don't hate me!
The baby curled up against him in his arms and began to suck on his little fist.
Joey: Oh, you're so cute.
Phoebe woke up and smiled at her family. Joey looked over at Phoebe and smiled back.
Joey: He doesn't hate me!
*~*
Ross and Rachel were now over at Chandler and Monica's apartment building. They walked into the apartment excitedly.
Rachel: Guess what?!
Chandler: Invisible Pepsi is back?!
Rachel: No! We're going to be neighbors!
Monica: What?!
Ross: We're moving into that apartment next to yours!
Chandler: Oh my God.
Monica: Oh, this is so great!
Chandler: Yay . . .
Rachel: This is great! We're going to have room for the babies now!
Hannah, who was standing behind her parents the whole time walked out in front of them and smiled proudly.
Hannah: I'm the big girl! I get the big room!
Everybody laughed and celebrated their new fortunes.
Phoebe Buffay - Tribiani, still known as Miss Buffay to the doctors and some of the nurses, was bringing her two-day old son home. Joey called a cab for the three to ride in. The triplets were staying with Chandler and Monica until they got home with the baby.
Phoebe walked into the nursery as the nurse opened the door to her. She carried the baby's car seat/ baby carrier and the diaper bag. She walked over to her son's bed and smiled at the sleeping baby. He was breathing softly in his sleep and making a sucking motion with his mouth.
Phoebe: There's my little Draven Joseph Tribiani.
Nurse: Hi Miss Buffay - Tribiani. Your baby boy is quite a healthy one. He's got some set of lungs!
Phoebe: Yeah. He stayed in my room the night he was born and he cried so much!
Nurse: Well, you've definitely got something interesting to look forward to, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah . . .
Joey knocked on the nursery window and the nurse happily let him in.
Phoebe picked Draven up and smiled as she put him down in the carrier.
Phoebe: Well, my little 8 1/2-pound baby boy. Are you ready to go home?
Joey: Phoebe, I'm so nervous.
Phoebe: Me too . . .I've never done this before.
Nurse: You'll both be fine. Phoebe, we put some first time parent phamplets in your bag.
Phoebe: I think we're ready to go.
Phoebe and Joey walked out of the nursery and got onto the empty elevator. The doors closed them inside. Baby Draven began to scream.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Joey: What do we do?! What do we do?!
Phoebe: I . . . well, first, we have to calm down.
Joey breathed in and out slowly. The baby continued to scream as the elevator doors opened on the first floor. Phoebe and Joey hurried over to a chair and put the carrier down in it. Phoebe picked up the baby and cradled him. He immediately stopped crying.
Phoebe: Wow! Here, go to daddy.
Phoebe started to hand Draven to Joey and the infant began to scream again. She pulled the baby back to her and he stopped.
Joey: Oh God! My son hates me!
Phoebe: No . . . no, he doesn't. He's just . . . he's just know me longer. He bonded with me for nine months. He knows me!
Joey: Well . . . I helped make him. Why does he hate me?
Phoebe: Maybe you're wearing weird cologne.
Joey: Nothing. I'm not wearing any cologne.
Phoebe: Well, maybe that's the reason.
*~*
Rachel was helping Ross clean out the last spare bedroom that they had in the apartment.
Rachel: Okay, if we have anymore kids after the boys, then we're gonna need a bigger place.
Ross: Yeah. I know.
Rachel: God, I can't believe we're doing this again. It seems like just yesterday we were doing this for Hannah.
Ross: Time flies by when you're having fun.
Rachel: Yeah . . .
Rachel sighed and stood up. Hannah ran into the room.
Hannah: Mommy! Daddy! Somebody is at the door! A really big man!
Ross looked at Rachel strangely.
Rachel and Ross left the room with Hannah and went into the living room. Ross saw Ugly Naked Guy!
Ross: Ugh . . .I mean, Mr. . .
UNG: Mr. Piggue.
Rachel: Oh that's right! Mr. Pig!
UNG: No . . .Piggue. It's French.
Rachel: Oh . . .
Ross: What can we do for you? How'd you get in?
UNG: You're little girl let me in. Actually I came to talk about un-subletting this place. I was living in a nudist camp for awhile. I realized how better the city was.
Ross: Oh . . . and?
UNG: Well, I want to live here again. But, I'll give you time to find a place before I move back in.
Rachel: You're kicking us out?
UNG: Well, yes. I guess you could say that.
*~*
Monica and Chandler were chasing their fast crawling twins around the apartment.
Chandler: And Alex is in the lead by a diaper!
Monica: No! That's Ally!
Chandler: Well, I can't tell! They're both in diapers!
Monica: Come on Ally! Let's go! You can beat him!
Chandler: Are you trying to give our son a complex? He'll think you don't support him!
Monica: Come on Alex! You're a boy! You're tough! Come on!
Chandler: Oh, so now you switch sides.
Monica rolled her eyes and looked down with Ally bumped into her leg.
Monica: Hi there sweetie.
Ally: Mommy!
Monica: Oh my God! She just said her first word!
Chandler picked up Alex.
Chandler: Say daddy!
Alex: Mommy!
Monica: He did too! Oh, my little babies are growing up!
A knock at the door was followed by Phoebe and Joey walking into the apartment with their newborn son. The baby was now out of his carrier and the carrier wasn't in sight. Phoebe and Joey had put it in their apartment and then walked across the hall to see Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Hey! There's the new baby!
Phoebe: Hey! Isn't he perfect?
Monica: I know! He's the most beautiful little guy! Well, besides my little boy.
Joey: He hates me.
Monica: Does he?
Joey: Yeah! He won't let me hold him!
Monica: Oh . . .
Phoebe: I think the baby's just really nervous. Like when I was on the street, I couldn't trust anyone.
Chandler: Yeah. That's the same.
Phoebe: Well, I need some sleep. I'm gonna go take a nap with my little man.
Phoebe left the apartment with the baby and Joey sat down on Monica and Chandler's couch.
Joey: I'm a terrible father.
Chandler: Aw, man, you're not. My kids don't hate you.
Joey: I guess not . . .
Monica: Joey, maybe you're just too tense around him. You need to relax. He'll be relaxed if you're relaxed.
Joey: You think?
Monica: I know.
Joey smiled and left the apartment. He walked over to his apartment, went inside, and shut the door.
*~*
Ross and Rachel were sitting on their couch now with Hannah.
Ross: There's an apartment next to Chandler and Monica's that is for rent. There are five bedrooms!
Rachel: Five?! Why didn't you say something before?!
Ross: Just didn't occur to me until now.
Rachel: I want that apartment, Ross!
Ross: Well, I'll call to find out.
Rachel: Okay, great! I'm going to go start packing!
Rachel walked down the hall and peeked into Hannah's nursery. The girl had three baby dolls in her arms.
Hannah: And you're my three babies!
Rachel smiled at the sight of her daughter.
Rachel: Hi sweetie. What are you doing?
Hannah: Playing with my triplets.
Rachel: I see . . .are you excited about your new brothers?
Hannah: Yeah! I get three babies!
Rachel: Yeah! And you're going to be their big sister.
Hannah: Yay!
Rachel laughed and sat down on the floor with Hannah. She decided to put off packing until later. She wanted to spend this tender time with her little girl.
*~*
An hour later, Joey was sitting on the chair beside the couch where Phoebe slept. He was peering into the bassinet, wondering if he should pick up his son or not.
Joey: Okay Joey. You're calm. You're calm.
Joey exhaled and crept over to the bassinet. He reached in and lifted his son out. The baby didn't cry at all. Joey smiled.
Joey: You don't hate me!
The baby curled up against him in his arms and began to suck on his little fist.
Joey: Oh, you're so cute.
Phoebe woke up and smiled at her family. Joey looked over at Phoebe and smiled back.
Joey: He doesn't hate me!
*~*
Ross and Rachel were now over at Chandler and Monica's apartment building. They walked into the apartment excitedly.
Rachel: Guess what?!
Chandler: Invisible Pepsi is back?!
Rachel: No! We're going to be neighbors!
Monica: What?!
Ross: We're moving into that apartment next to yours!
Chandler: Oh my God.
Monica: Oh, this is so great!
Chandler: Yay . . .
Rachel: This is great! We're going to have room for the babies now!
Hannah, who was standing behind her parents the whole time walked out in front of them and smiled proudly.
Hannah: I'm the big girl! I get the big room!
Everybody laughed and celebrated their new fortunes.