Attachment – part 3

I was lost.

Lost.

God, I hate being lost.

"Please stand."

The congregation stood.

I kept kneeling. Maybe if I just kept kneeling like this, all day-Wait. What would be the sense in that? Yeah, Heero's gonna come into the church at 2 in the morning and tell me I'm a baka and get up and go home so we can watch the evening news together and I'll discuss the state of the world and how depressed I am about what happened at work today and-

Fat chance. He would say the baka part though.

Marie elbowed me in the side, "He said to stand."

"Ah." I stood.

She glanced at me again, then bowed her head reverently. I really owe it to her. She's a much better Catholic than I am, and a much more observant person. I can't place just when I met her. She's a canter at mass, and she's also the upstairs tenant. And two years younger than me, living on her own. In a way, she reminds me of Heero. In a way.

Marie is the only other anchor to reality for me, besides Heero, and I can't help it. Sometimes I cling to her for dear life. I thank God for people like this in my life- people smarter than I am and twice as sensible. She was like Hilde used to be, minus the infatuation thing, and a hell of a lot tougher. Besides, I don't have to worry about her that much-- She's got a boyfriend that practically lives in her home.

I watch the two of them together and I can't help it, I get jealous. Seeing them both together, it's like they feel right around each other. Cooking and bickering and cleaning and just sitting on the sofa seems a hell of a lot more romantic with both of them. One time I asked Evan about it and he just smiled, 'I knew her for so long.. It just felt right to be around her.'

I haven't felt right in a long time.

*****

"What was with you today? You were so out of it, even-Hello!? Earth to Duo!?"

"Huh?"

I was listening, really. I was just thinking about Hee--..things. I don't know why.. It's like I'm lost.

Marie waved her hand in front of my face, "Duo…?"

"I'm fine, I'm just tired…" I mumbled, unconvincing even for myself.

She crouched down in front of me, "My ass. Did you have a fight with Heero?"

"What?"

"It has to be something to do with him. What's wrong? You've been in a funk for the past week."

I stared at her for a minute, then blinked and cast my eyes to the side. It's embarrassing to say that you miss your less-than-sane-assassin-in-deep-shit roommate. "He's not here.."

"What happened to him!?"

"The hell I know!" I yelped back at her.

I could see her bite back something sharp to yell at me and I had a feeling I'd hear it later. With a sigh, she stood up and extended her hand to me, "Let's go. Stone church steps are cold, no matter how holy they are."

Grinning, I took her hand, "Not a bad plan of action. Cut through the park?"

***********

"I'll see you later, babe! Ja!" I kicked the door shut with a usual amount of ceremony and slung off my jac-

Damn.

"Maxwell, I think you have something of mine. I want it back."

I grinned. I'm not a good liar. I don't try anymore. "Maybe I do."

"Where is it?"

"Don't know."

Avignon whipped out her trusty gun again, "Give me back my ID."

"You mean the Pacifist Union one or the license to kill?"

I winced. Bad joke. Bad timing.

"Don't be a moron."

"Déjà vu. Didn't we have this conversation before?"

"…." The gun almost seemed too big for her.

I had to buy time and kick her out. "What about Heero?"

"What about--who?" Her hands were steady.

I froze. What happened to the hellbent salesgirl? I thought she was.. Wait.. This isn't right.. She WAS looking for Heero, wasn't she? It sounded like she never even heard the name before.. almost.. It was deliberate. Something was again being set up in front of me and it was again glaringly obvious.

"Why aren't you asking about him?"

"I'm giving him a break."

"You're not SERIOUS, right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"..Wait. What are you- What's going on?"

She groaned. It was a familiar sound. It can basically be interpreted as that she was pissed and too tired to put up any more fight with me. "..It's clear he isn't going to show up- especially since he found out about me somehow. I'm not going to bother you about this anymore as long as you just give me the ID back so I can get the hell off this colony before I'm killed."

On second thought, she wasn't such a bitch after all. "..Why?"

Her eyes were weary, making her look three times what her age probably was. She was tired and wanted to get out. "I told you already. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, okay? I want to get on with my life, you with yours."

I did want to get on with my life- she was the deterrent to me doing so.

"Promise, Avignon?"

"..Yes."

And in some twisted surreal revelation, I realized that I trusted her. A little.

"Alright." I took the thin plastic out of my pocket. I always keep things I don't want to lose with me. Looking at it one last time, I handed it to her, "Just so you know- If you come back again looking for Heero, I might kill you."

She nodded. It was a given.

And I was dead serious about that. I smiled, "But, hey, if you're in the area again, don't hesitate to stop by, ma'am."

Avignon looked at me with a little surprise and probably a little wonder of why I was being so damn friendly all of a sudden. I was wondering, too. Her mouth tipped in a wary smile, "If."

(TBC..)

Notes- Biiiiig delay in posting this. Yeah. So sue me. I really don't care. I'm writing original stuff out the wazoo, and that's much more enjoyable. Nearf.

In case you couldn't tell, this is an old old fic, and I doubt that I'll continue the sequel once I finish posting this. ::runs away::