Eyes On Me
This is a songfic to the song of the same name featured in Final Fantasy 8. The coupling here is Frodo and Gandalf, so if you're not a fan of squicky shounen ai pairings, you can go away, cause I don't feel like flames. It's all from Frodo's POV. This is my first slash fic, so go easy on the flames if you insist on writing them.
***
Whenever I sang my song
On the stage, on my own
Whenever I said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I sat beside Sam and Merry, listening to the Elven girl sing her song. I stared into my ale, my mind evidently elsewhere. I was wishing I could sing, just to explain my emotions a bit better. It's awkward, speaking to people's knees. But with singing, people listen. Singing is something people notice. Just then, I saw HIM. He was smiling at me, encouraging me to pay attention with just a stern look that was more of a smile than a frown if you looked him in the eye.
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
This was supposed to be a joyful occasion. This was supposed to be a party. So how come it felt like there was a pit of ice in my stomach and acid in my throat? This would be my last night before we set off. Then, my thoughts returned to the singer. How many times had she sung the same songs of love? How many times would she sing them? How many times left COULD she sing them if I failed?
My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I couldn't listen to her song anymore. Tomorrow we'd be leaving on a journey, and I couldn't stop praying that it wouldn't be a journey to the grave. What if I let them all down? What if I lead them all to their deaths? What if I lead HIM to his death? I feel a strange heat rising in my cheeks thinking of him. He watched over me…he always is. Gandalf. Even his name sounds like this feeling inside. Strange, but filled with warmth and comfort.
Is this what love is?
I gently make my way out of the room, uttering nonsense of needing to go to the washroom, but head to the balcony.
Strains of her melody leak through the open window. It's a beautiful song, but I can't focus on it right now. My thoughts are only on him.
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Suddenly, I feel a presence behind me, and I whirl around, my hand already on Sting's sheath. And then, as I hear his warm laughter, I feel myself turn crimson.
"Tell me Frodo, why is the Ringbearer not at his own sending off?" His smile is so kind…does he realize what he does to me with a simple concerned glance?
"I did not wish to have false hope, Gandalf." I manage to let out-it's not really a lie. I didn't want to believe in their laughter, their beliefs that now that we head off, the One ring's practically destroyed. For if I let pride take over, am I better than the very first who used the ring for evil? Gandalf merely smiles softly, and nods once. We stand together, both looking up at the same stars, and reveling in the serenity as the music floats over us like a cloud.
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
I wish he could trust me more, not try to be strong just for my sake. I looked up to him, and I think my hero worship showed a bit, for he smiled a gentle smile, and extended his hand.
"Take my hand, Frodo." I don't understand, but I do as he says. And then, I'm standing on the rail, and for one moment, I'm his equal.
"Thank you." I stammer out, and he chuckles softly.
"Tell me Frodo, when did you begin to act so strangely? I don't understand you young hobbits anymore."
I look away, not knowing what to say. What was I supposed to say, 'I know exactly why I'm so weird, it's because I'm in love with you'?
"Don't worry, Frodo. It was only a hypothetical question." He says, a reassuring hand on my shoulder. It's big enough to crush it, and yet I know he'd never dream of hurting me. I want to be everything to him. I want him to love me. But I can't look him in the eye. I don't deserve his friendship.
"But perhaps your troubles run deeper than a puzzled mind." He says, and I realize something far deeper- he cares about me. But how so? Am I the son he never had? Am I a true friend? Or am I what he is to me? I want to find out.
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know you are no dreamer
I stumble for words, but then I burst.
"How can I be in there as they celebrate? I could let them die! I'm just a hobbit, and I'm scared! What if they die because of my foolishness?" Tears start flowing down my face, but I can't shut up! Why can't I ever be strong? "And Sam, Merry, Pippin, they all have such faith in me, following me blindly! Why can't they look out for THEMSELVES instead of me? Why?" Suddenly, Gandalf's strong arms are around me, his hands stroking my hair, trying to calm me down. His touch means so much to me…Why can't these tears stop flowing?
So let me come to you
Close as I wanna be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
Suddenly, his hand is resting against my cheek, and his eyes are locked with me.
"Frodo, do you know why I let you keep the ring?" I shook my head weakly; my mind isn't in the conversation.
"It's because I trust you, Frodo. You're strong, Frodo, as are all the others. You need not have the burden of all of their safety." Gandalf looks at me directly, and all of a sudden, I feel as if he knows my deepest of my secret. Maybe he does. What if he knows I love him?
"I would help you better if I knew how, Frodo." He leans on the rail, his eyes locked with mine.
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
"Gandalf, you need not fear for my quite as much as that." But I don't mean what I say. I want him to pry. I want him to wonder about me as I have wondered about him. His expression is so hard to read right now. Are those tears that hide beneath his cerulean depths? Is that pain I see deep within his soul? Or is it something larger than both of us-is it love?
Darling so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
"Frodo…" He chokes on my name, and I lean closer, grabbing his shoulders, hoping desperately that he's alright. Tears begin to spill down his face, and I frantically try to wipe them away. I want to scream for him not to cry on my account. But I just wipe his tears with my small clumsy hands.
"You shouldn't have to have this weight, Frodo. You shouldn't have to suffer through this!" I smile, and shake my head. I need to give him hope. And I've run out of ideas.
How can I let you know
I'm more than the ring and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you are not dreaming
And quickly, deeply, I kiss him. His eyes widen with shock, but there was no stopping, no hesitation. The moment was brief, but if all short moments are so beautiful, I will die from all the glory. He pulls back, and he has a different light. A light of strength.
Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
"Tell me that I'm not asleep right now." Gandalf lets out softly, his voice for the first time in my life filled with wonder. I shake my head, a permanent smile glued onto my face as I cry tears of joy.
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly, but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
I love him. And as long as I remember that these feelings are not in vain, I can continue. I won't let them down. I promise.
~Owari~
***
Well, that wasn't so bad, now was it? I edited one tiny lyric, but I couldn't say Frodo wore a dress, as cute as that image is. I don't own the characters, nor do I own the song. I want to thank Katarina Freeman for not squelching any of my creative juices when I told her I'd write a FxG fanfic, and I want to thank not only Tolkien, Peter Jackson, Ian McKellen, God, Elijah Wood, the waitress at Burger King, and my big sister, but I want to thank my computer. Good old PC, not arguing when I download 10,00 mp3s. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Ja ne!
~ NovaGirl (a.k.a Sumari)
This is a songfic to the song of the same name featured in Final Fantasy 8. The coupling here is Frodo and Gandalf, so if you're not a fan of squicky shounen ai pairings, you can go away, cause I don't feel like flames. It's all from Frodo's POV. This is my first slash fic, so go easy on the flames if you insist on writing them.
***
Whenever I sang my song
On the stage, on my own
Whenever I said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I sat beside Sam and Merry, listening to the Elven girl sing her song. I stared into my ale, my mind evidently elsewhere. I was wishing I could sing, just to explain my emotions a bit better. It's awkward, speaking to people's knees. But with singing, people listen. Singing is something people notice. Just then, I saw HIM. He was smiling at me, encouraging me to pay attention with just a stern look that was more of a smile than a frown if you looked him in the eye.
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
This was supposed to be a joyful occasion. This was supposed to be a party. So how come it felt like there was a pit of ice in my stomach and acid in my throat? This would be my last night before we set off. Then, my thoughts returned to the singer. How many times had she sung the same songs of love? How many times would she sing them? How many times left COULD she sing them if I failed?
My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I couldn't listen to her song anymore. Tomorrow we'd be leaving on a journey, and I couldn't stop praying that it wouldn't be a journey to the grave. What if I let them all down? What if I lead them all to their deaths? What if I lead HIM to his death? I feel a strange heat rising in my cheeks thinking of him. He watched over me…he always is. Gandalf. Even his name sounds like this feeling inside. Strange, but filled with warmth and comfort.
Is this what love is?
I gently make my way out of the room, uttering nonsense of needing to go to the washroom, but head to the balcony.
Strains of her melody leak through the open window. It's a beautiful song, but I can't focus on it right now. My thoughts are only on him.
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Suddenly, I feel a presence behind me, and I whirl around, my hand already on Sting's sheath. And then, as I hear his warm laughter, I feel myself turn crimson.
"Tell me Frodo, why is the Ringbearer not at his own sending off?" His smile is so kind…does he realize what he does to me with a simple concerned glance?
"I did not wish to have false hope, Gandalf." I manage to let out-it's not really a lie. I didn't want to believe in their laughter, their beliefs that now that we head off, the One ring's practically destroyed. For if I let pride take over, am I better than the very first who used the ring for evil? Gandalf merely smiles softly, and nods once. We stand together, both looking up at the same stars, and reveling in the serenity as the music floats over us like a cloud.
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
I wish he could trust me more, not try to be strong just for my sake. I looked up to him, and I think my hero worship showed a bit, for he smiled a gentle smile, and extended his hand.
"Take my hand, Frodo." I don't understand, but I do as he says. And then, I'm standing on the rail, and for one moment, I'm his equal.
"Thank you." I stammer out, and he chuckles softly.
"Tell me Frodo, when did you begin to act so strangely? I don't understand you young hobbits anymore."
I look away, not knowing what to say. What was I supposed to say, 'I know exactly why I'm so weird, it's because I'm in love with you'?
"Don't worry, Frodo. It was only a hypothetical question." He says, a reassuring hand on my shoulder. It's big enough to crush it, and yet I know he'd never dream of hurting me. I want to be everything to him. I want him to love me. But I can't look him in the eye. I don't deserve his friendship.
"But perhaps your troubles run deeper than a puzzled mind." He says, and I realize something far deeper- he cares about me. But how so? Am I the son he never had? Am I a true friend? Or am I what he is to me? I want to find out.
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know you are no dreamer
I stumble for words, but then I burst.
"How can I be in there as they celebrate? I could let them die! I'm just a hobbit, and I'm scared! What if they die because of my foolishness?" Tears start flowing down my face, but I can't shut up! Why can't I ever be strong? "And Sam, Merry, Pippin, they all have such faith in me, following me blindly! Why can't they look out for THEMSELVES instead of me? Why?" Suddenly, Gandalf's strong arms are around me, his hands stroking my hair, trying to calm me down. His touch means so much to me…Why can't these tears stop flowing?
So let me come to you
Close as I wanna be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
Suddenly, his hand is resting against my cheek, and his eyes are locked with me.
"Frodo, do you know why I let you keep the ring?" I shook my head weakly; my mind isn't in the conversation.
"It's because I trust you, Frodo. You're strong, Frodo, as are all the others. You need not have the burden of all of their safety." Gandalf looks at me directly, and all of a sudden, I feel as if he knows my deepest of my secret. Maybe he does. What if he knows I love him?
"I would help you better if I knew how, Frodo." He leans on the rail, his eyes locked with mine.
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
"Gandalf, you need not fear for my quite as much as that." But I don't mean what I say. I want him to pry. I want him to wonder about me as I have wondered about him. His expression is so hard to read right now. Are those tears that hide beneath his cerulean depths? Is that pain I see deep within his soul? Or is it something larger than both of us-is it love?
Darling so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
"Frodo…" He chokes on my name, and I lean closer, grabbing his shoulders, hoping desperately that he's alright. Tears begin to spill down his face, and I frantically try to wipe them away. I want to scream for him not to cry on my account. But I just wipe his tears with my small clumsy hands.
"You shouldn't have to have this weight, Frodo. You shouldn't have to suffer through this!" I smile, and shake my head. I need to give him hope. And I've run out of ideas.
How can I let you know
I'm more than the ring and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you are not dreaming
And quickly, deeply, I kiss him. His eyes widen with shock, but there was no stopping, no hesitation. The moment was brief, but if all short moments are so beautiful, I will die from all the glory. He pulls back, and he has a different light. A light of strength.
Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
"Tell me that I'm not asleep right now." Gandalf lets out softly, his voice for the first time in my life filled with wonder. I shake my head, a permanent smile glued onto my face as I cry tears of joy.
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly, but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
I love him. And as long as I remember that these feelings are not in vain, I can continue. I won't let them down. I promise.
~Owari~
***
Well, that wasn't so bad, now was it? I edited one tiny lyric, but I couldn't say Frodo wore a dress, as cute as that image is. I don't own the characters, nor do I own the song. I want to thank Katarina Freeman for not squelching any of my creative juices when I told her I'd write a FxG fanfic, and I want to thank not only Tolkien, Peter Jackson, Ian McKellen, God, Elijah Wood, the waitress at Burger King, and my big sister, but I want to thank my computer. Good old PC, not arguing when I download 10,00 mp3s. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Ja ne!
~ NovaGirl (a.k.a Sumari)