Part 2
[[Final Fantasy 7 is not mine, nor is Captain Planet. Thank you, the management.]]
"According to these readings, the new source of mako energy is coming from the Eastern Plains near Midgar." Red XIII read off a new mako detection monitor in the Eco-Highwind.
"That's not far from here! We should be there in no time!" Tifa said.
"Hey Yuffie, use your POWER OF WIND to get us there faster!" Cloud said as he handled the lemon yellow helm.
"Sure thing!" Yuffie said as she left the bridge. With the power of Zantax 75, she was able to over come the airsickness that normally plagued her during any trip.
"So Cloud, what's the plan?" Cait Sith asked as he ate a new trail mix granola bar.
"Yea Cap'n? What is the plan? Get there and stomp em!" Cid asked.
"No, we got to sneak into the base and infiltrate, sabotage, and leave." Vincent put in his two-cents from the opposite end of the bridge.
"Uh.." STOMP em!orVincent's right. We should sneak in.
"OO! OO! Pick number one!" Barret waved his gun arm.
"Pick two! Pick two!" Tifa shouted.
"The car! Pick the car!" Cait Sith screamed.
"Uh..um…I can't decide!" Cloud said.
"C'mon! %^&*in stomp em!" Cid pleaded.
"Do what's wise. Sneak in." Vincent advised.
"Hey. I don't have to do this. This is peer pressure!" Cloud said. "I pick…STOMP em!"
Your swashbuckling rating has gone up. You're now Cloud the ecologically aware!
"So, Cloud the ecologically aware, it'll be two more hours till we get there. Wanna play some poker?" Red XIII asked.
"Sure, why the hell not!" Cloud left the helm. "These are paper substitute forest friendly cards, right?"
"Of coarse."
** *
The giant titanium crate shook wildly; throwing off any Shinra soldiers daring enough to try and contain whatever was inside. The new wooden planked white yard fence was thronged by tens of Shinra soldiers, all trying to safely get the crate inside.
"That's it. Easy now, easy. Don't hurt my beautiful creation!" Animal Tester smiled, revealing his horrible minty fresh teeth.
The three soldiers pushing it safely got the crate into paddock. Two of them ran instantly to the gate and shut it, careful not to harm the tulips around it. The third man got on to the crate, ready to open the door.
"Sir?" The guard asked.
"What is it!?" Animal Tester angrily spat.
"How am I supposed to make it back to the fence once I open this crate?"
"How should I know? Muhahahahahahaha!" Animal Tester insanely laughed.
Suddenly the crate shifted heavily to the right, throwing the guard onto the nicely mowed green grass. The door on the crate opened.
"Timmy! Get back here! Quickly!" The guards shouted.
Timmy the guard got up to run, but a white fluffy paw caught his leg. Screaming, the paw pulled him into the crate.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgunghga." Timmy the guard screamed.
"Muhahahahaha! Perfect! This creature ought to stop the nature nuisances!" Animal Tester raised his glasses, except that his glasses were already far on his head, so they went on to his forehead. "Oops."
** *
"Something isn't right here." Cloud said as he scanned the ground below him. They were right over ground zero, but it didn't seem to look like a heavily polluted fortress. Instead, it reminded Cloud of Easter.
"You mean the fact that the grass is bright green and freshly mowed, white picket fences surround the path, and cardboard rubber duckies with safety tips dot the area, or the fact that there's no Shinra soldiers around?" Barret commented.
"Both. Are you sure we're in the right place?"
"I'm positive foo!"
"Tifa, give me the map!"
Tifa handed Cloud a map of the world, complete with highlighter. "All right. We made a left turn at Albuquerque and a right on I-95…"
"Cloud." Vincent just appeared behind Cloud.
"GA! Stop being so spooky Vincent! What?" Cloud shouted.
"This is the right place."
"Are you sure?" Cloud asked.
"Yes."
"Cloud! Cait Sith is staring at me!" Yuffie came running onto the bridge.
"Am not!" Cait Sith ran in after her.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!" (copy paste is cool!)
(I stole this from a Skies of Arcadia fic!)
"Cloud, I see Mako Man!" Red shouted from his place at the new Mako man detection system.
"Alright, this must be the place. Cetrateers, let's mosey!" Cloud shouted.
"Damn, Cloud! Come up with something better next time!" Cid yelled after him.
** *
"Sir! The Cetrateers have arrived!" A guard said as he ran up to Mako man, who was standing next to the mako reactor deluxe with compact action, which was disguised as a giant Easter egg.
"Excellent. RELEASE THE DOGS OF WAR!" Mako man shouted.
** *
"Cait Sith, see if there's any unfriendly monsters, people, or machines around here." Cloud said.
"Right. HEART!" Cait Sith raised his tiny paw in the air and fancy orange graphics flashed around.
"There are a couple Shinra soldiers, one monster, and one machine."
The Cetrateers walked on the mowed grass, careful of the tulips, through the lines of white picket fences and rubber ducky signs.
"STOP! DON'T GO ANY FURTHER!" A voice cried behind them. They turned around to see a mauled Shinra soldier. "Animal Testers new monster will kill you for sure! He got Timmy and-"
Before he could finish his warning, a great roar screamed across the plains and a white flash flew onto the soldier. Screaming, he backed away, only to be split into many chunky parts by the white monsters wrath. The white flash flew to the ground before them, and turned out to be a white rabbit.
The Cetrateers just stared at it.
"Dayum! I haven't seen anything that gory since Resident Evil the movie!" Barret was impressed.
"I'm sure I've seen a killer bunny like this before…" Vincent started.
"In Bambi?" Tifa asked.
"In Once upon a Forest?" Yuffie asked.
"In Song of the South?" Red asked.
"In Snow White?" Cait Sith asked.
"No! In Monty Python and the Holy Grail!" Vincent finished his thought.
"I'm not going to wait for the thing to cut me head off then. Cid, pop em!" Cloud smiled.
"With pleasure. PRESSURE!"
With purple flashy graphics, Cid managed to use his ring to increase the pressure inside the killer rabbit of doom, causing it to swell and eventually…
BOOM! A massive explosion, much larger than originally anticipated, shook the earth and blood and guts and rubber duckies rained from the skies like uh…rain."
"HALT! STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" A couple soldiers shouted as they ran down the aisle.
"I'll take care of these clowns! EARTH!" Barret raised his ring, starting some flashy green graphics. A large pit formed below them and they fell out of sight.
"O.K. Let's find the mako machine!" Cloud said. "Let's split up gang!"
"NO!" They all cried in unison.
"Why not?" Cloud put his sword on the ground and leaned on it.
"Because that makes it harder most of the time. Let's just stay together, besides we won't be able to summon Captain Cetra if we are separated!" Red said.
"All right." Cloud mumbled.
** *
"DAMN! I can't believe they so easily destroyed my killer bunny! DAMNIT! I'LL KILL YOU CLOUD! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" Animal Tester then begun to freak out, steam ventilating from his ears and making wacky noises.
"Sir! Sir! Get a hold of yourself! Just use the dogs!" A guard said.
"WAAAAAA- the dogs? Of coarse! I'm a genius!" Animal Tester cried. "Let loose the dogs!"
Several guards standing near a white picket fence stood aside and opened the gate, releasing several Dobermans.
"Muhahahahahahaha!" Animal Tester laughed with joy.
** *
"I can fix this!" Tifa giggled. The centrateers were standing on a cliff over looking a molten trail of lava. How it got there, nobody knows, but it certainly creates an obstacle.
"WATER!" Tifa shouted.
Out of nowhere, a swimming pool appeared over the lava, cooling down the molten rock to a degree acceptable by feet. Great clouds of steam billowed from the chasm, creating a toxic wall of sulfur.
"This I can handle! WIND!" Yuffie shouted. Winds fell from the skies and blew the poisonous fumes into space, leaving a walkway for the cetrateers.
"Aw, many thanks." Cloud smiled as he crossed the lava river.
WOOF! BARK! Several Dobermans ran at top speed towards our heroes, foam at their mouths. Vincent tossed his cape over his shoulder. "SPOOKYNESS!"
With flashy black graphics, Vincent became super spooky, scaring the dogs out of their minds. Yelping and whining, the dogs ran back to their master, Animal Tester.
** *
"DAMN! That's was the last of them! I'm screwed!" Animal Tester slammed the table.
"Sir, I suggest that we evacuate to Midgar and await a second chance." The soldier next to him said.
"Yes, good idea. Earth Destroyer will handle them. Muhahahaha!" Animal Tester walked towards his private helicopter and jumped in.
"Midgar."
"Yes sir." The pilot replied.
And the chopper flew off into the blue yonder.
** *
A giant Easter egg stood before the cetrateers.
"STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!" A whole boatload of soldiers arrived behind the cetrateers, each carrying 556ers, pineapples, and other fruits and veggies.
"OCTOOM!" A German soldier cried.
"Over our dead bodies!" Tifa smiled. A big fight scene then occurred. Tifa doing ninjitsu and kae-ra-tae, Barret and Vincent blasting people with their guns, Yuffie poking people with her giant shuriken, Cid smacking people with his Venus Gospel, Cait Sith pounding people with the Mogs cooperation, and Cloud slicing people with his busta' sword, all while Red sat on top of the Easter egg. After a very long time, the soldiers were dead on the green grass and the cetrateers were victorious.
"Very good, very good. Now what are you going to do about them?" Red XIII pointed a red paw at a totally new boatload of ShinRa soldiers. All the soldiers did a battle cry at once, trying to intimidate our biosphere saviors. "Not today kiddies. FIRE!" A great big fire burst from the ground, engulfing all the soldiers in one chaotic flame. And then it burned out.
"Red, what the hell are you doing?" Barret asked as the others rested.
"Pretending I'm Raiden. I'll stop now." Red jumped down from the Easter egg. But his paw pulled on the fabric, pulling the cover down as Red reached the ground, revealing the Mako reactor deluxe with compact action.
"Well, here's what we came for. Let's break it! BOLT!" Cloud cried out. A thunderbolt crashed down from the hand of almighty Zeus himself and fried the Reactor until it exploded.
"Well, lets head back." Cloud sighed. The others nodded.
"Not so fast, earth dweeb!" Earth Destroyer appeared out of nowhere, masamune in hand.
"Who the heck are you?" Yuffie asked from her position.
"I am the summoner. I am what will end this planet." Earth Destroyer placed his hand over his face.
"I" He turned towards Cloud.
"AM" He turned towards Tifa.
"EARTH DESTROYER!" He turned towards the remains of the new deluxe mako reactor with compact action.
"And men of the sea!" Cait Sith shouted.
"Hey, we can't let you get away with that! Let's battle!" Cloud shouted.
In two great white flashes, The entire team fell down. Earth Destroyer had been too fast, beating them with the hilt of the masamune to certain fatigue in a second.
"Ungh…he's…too…strong…" Red sighed.
"We…can't beat…him…" Vincent said.
"Summon…Captain Cetra…" Tifa said.
"HELP US CAPTAIN CETRA!" the cetrateers cried. In a show of all those flashy graphics, Aeris Gainsborough, err, Captain Cetra appeared.
"With your powers combined, I am Captain Cetra!" She giggled.
"What's this?! This is your fabled Captain Cetra! It's a girl! And She's wearing pink! This is ridiculous!" Earth Destroyer waved his sword.
"Well you're not very nice. Hey! You aren't trying to hurt the planet, are you?"
"Of coarse I am! My alias is Earth Destroyer! Now, floating pink girl… Captain Cetra, I will summon a great meteor to hurt your planet."
"Oh no your not, not if I can do anything about it! Silence Evil!"
A weird looking gong appeared over Earth's Destroyer's head and smacked him.
"Hah! You think that hurt me. SUPER NOVA!"
"Ooooh." The cetrateers got out some popcorn to watch the flashy attack.
Fifteen minutes later…
"That hurt. Grrr…you asked for it. Great Gospel!" Aeris cried out.
"Gawd Aeris! Get some better lines!" Yuffie cried.
"Well, dead people tend to have bad lines." Cid took a smoke. Obviously the cetrateers are feeling better.
"Well, if I can't beat ya, I'll have to trap ya!" Aeris laughed.
"W-what are you saying! Don't come any closer!" Earth Destroyer stepped away, in shock that his movie quality attack didn't do anything.
Aeris flew over to Earth Destroyer and picked him up by the shoulders and flew into outer space, where she proceeded to drop him off on the moon.
"Now he's the man on the moon! Hehehe!" Tifa giggled.
"Tifa, you talk to much." Cloud said.
** *
"Damn! I didn't think they'd get this far. Time to retreat! Curse you Captain Cetra!" Mako man shouted from his personal chopper that took off towards Midgar.
"Cloud, shouldn't we catch him?" Red asked.
"Naw, things are better this way. This way we can make a sequel." Cloud winked.
"Woohooo! Franchise!" Cait Sith shouted.
"All right guys! With the day won, it's time to…" Barret smiled.
"SING the Captain Cetra song!" They all shouted in unison.
** *
~We're the cetrateers,
and you can be one too!
Saving the planet is the thing to do!
Looting and Polluting is not the way!
Listen to what Captain Cetra has to say!
The Power is yours!
Curse you Captain Cetra!~
** *
Remember kids, always use environmentally friendly power, tools, toys, and items! Only you can save the forests and deserts and oceans and mountains and …
The End** *
GO TO CHAPTER 3 FOR THE REST OF THE STORY!