~Angel~



After Willow had laid out the spell and she and Giles had collected the right
ingredients, Giles sighed and looked at his watch. "I think we should all be
getting some sleep. It's fairly late and we've all been up for far too long,
and we need to reserve our energy..."

Buffy's mouth curved up in a weary smile and had my heart been beating, it
would have skipped a little. Her eyes found his. "I think so. Especially
considering that you've said something to that effect nearly every hour for
the past day."

He chuckled softly and nodded. "Well, everyone, go home. Go to sleep. We
should meet here tomorrow afternoon. I'll call if anything else arises that
we need to discuss."

"I hope not," Willow spoke up, her voice firm. "I hope you won't even know.
Because you'll be getting sleep too, right?" She paused. "Right??"

Cordelia's brow furrowed. "Yeah. What were you saying about how much sleep
you got in high school?" She cocked her head pointedly.

"Fine, fine." He sighed again, a longer sigh that sounded almost like a
yawn. "I'll sleep too. I give you all my word."

He left it at that, but I heard his pulse speed up a little, saw the corner
of his mouth pull up. He liked that they worried about him. I enjoyed that
about him. Could almost hear him thinking, 'My girls worry about me.' Which
was nice.

Old fashioned, but nice.

Buffy rubbed my knee then, though, and I forgot about thoughts of Giles. Her
voice was low. "My place?"

I nodded, my throat caught. We both knew that we couldn't do anything. Not
anything as intimate as we'd like it to be, but the very thought of being
with her... Being really alone with her, close to her, was almost as good.
...Almost.

And that would have to do.
* * * * * *

We didn't speak when we got back to her apartment. She silently led me to
her bedroom by the hand and then paused, waiting for a reaction. I didn't
know which one, but I smiled at her, pleased with how inviting her home was,
how like her, filled with little touches that only she would think to bring
in. I smiled because I was suddenly surrounded by things covered in her
scent. I smiled because the moonlight streaming through the windows
reflected in her eyes, causing them to twinkle.

I smiled because I was with her.

I guess a smile was what she was looking for because she nodded and lifted
her hands to my chest and began calmly unbuttoning my shirt. When it was
unbuttoned she slid it off my shoulders, looking peaceful, looking like it
was the most natural thing in the world. And then she waited again.

After a moments hesitation, I slowly lifted her light sweater over her head,
my fingertips grazing the golden silk of her skin. Her hair tumbled out of
its clip, falling loosely around her shoulders. Buffy smiled, unbuckled my
belt and then unzipped her own skirt and stepped out of it. I kicked off my
shoes and pulled my belt all the way off and then let myself look at her.
Really, really look at her.

She was beautiful standing there in the soft lights, barely covered. Poised,
truly confident, tender, mature. She had grown into everything that she
always was when she didn't know it. Everything that I had been certain she
would be someday. She was... amazing.

Of course, I've always thought so.

Her hand caressed my arm, the shoulder where my tattoo was, my face. She
leaned up and kissed me lightly on the mouth. Her eyes were understanding
and warm, loving.

The felt a tiny shock of disbelief and gratefulness and warmth as I thought
that, like I always do when I think it: She loves me.

She led me to the bed and got under the covers, gesturing for me to follow.
She faced me, wound her arms and legs through mine and around me until we
were tangled together and then rested her head on my chest. I could feel her
heartbeat against me, saw the scar on her neck that I caused all of those
years ago.

She loves me.

I wanted to give her something that special, but all that I could think of to
say was, "Buffy..."

It came out a whisper, inane, completely inadequate.

I felt her mouth curve up. "I love you too."
* * * * * *

I woke up abruptly, like I usually do, the moment the sun hit the horizon.
Reaching for Buffy and not finding her there, I opened my eyes and saw her
sitting at the small desk in the corner of her room, leaning over something.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped a little, startled, and then shot me a grin. "Couldn't sleep.
Decided to write in my diary for a while."

I got out of bed and stretched before making my way over to her. She shut
the small book as I reached her and I laid my hands on her shoulders,
kneading them lightly. "Same one you thought I read?" I asked, surprised at
the laughter in my voice.

"Same idea." She leaned back against me and looked up, giving me a glimpse
of her amazing eyes again. "Different book. But yeah, I always seem to be
writing something about you. I've missed you, Angel."

I leaned down, brushing my mouth over hers. "I've missed you too."

"Want to go back to bed for a while?" Buffy waggled her eyebrows and I
chuckled.

"Tease."

She giggled. "To rest. Just to rest. Promise. I'm still a little tired.
It's comforting being next to you, you know?"

"Yeah." My hands slid through her hair. Buffy made a purring noise that
made me smile. "I know what you mean."

She slid her diary back into her desk drawer and stood, taking my hand. We
walked back to the bed and got under the covers again and pressed as close as
we were allowed to get to each other. And although she was smiling, she
looked softer somehow, more sedate. A little sad.

I kissed her temple. "What's wrong?"

She hesitated a moment. "I'm nervous," she finally confessed. "Always get
like this before a battle. It's not fun knowing that the fate of the world
rests in my hands. It's an honor, but no fun in sight. Makes a girl feel
less... Girly." She forced another laugh.

I stroked her back, my mouth near her ear. "It'll be okay," I tried to
reassure her. "It always turns out for the best. At least, it always has
before. And I like those odds comparatively. I love you, and I'll be with
you the whole time. So will everyone else. You'll have all of the support
you can stand."

This time her laugh sounded genuine but a yawn cut it short. "I'll see
you... later in the morning, Angel."

"Sweet dreams, Buffy."