Author's Note: This is a Seifer-based parody of the song "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah." If you have not heard this song, then you are a tragically deprived person who can legally sue their parents for abuse. Thank you.
Disclaimers: I forget who "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" belongs to, but it isn't me. Seifer, Fujin, Raijin, and all the rest are property of Squaresoft. Please don't sue me- I'm just playing with them.
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HELLO FUJIN, HELLO RAIJIN
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Hello Fujin, hello Raijin
Here I am at Camp Estharian
Training will go pretty well
Once we get off the Island Closest to Hell
I went hiking with Cid Kramer
Docs say he's not out of danger
You remember wussy Nida?
There's a purple gash in him that's getting wider

Take me home!
Oh Fujin, Raijin, take me home
I hate this hellhole
Don't leave me
Oh, please don't shut the door
I might run into that Laguna Loire!

The instructors think they're mighty
And the head cook is a Righty
And the trainers are sadistic
This kind of place can make you masochistic
Now I don't want you to worry
But we all ate poisoned curry
Think Kadowaki can be lousy?
My roommate is a doctor of psychology

Take me home
I promise I won't bend the rules
Or send Rai off to doggie schools
Oh please don't make me stay
Leonfart arrives today!

Dearest Raijin, dearest Fujin
What say you we all go cruisin'?
Let me come home
Please don't con me
I will let Angelo slobber on me

Wait a minute, Loire is croaking
Guys are drinking, guys are smoking
Triple Triad- Hyne, that's better
Fujin, Raijin, kindly disregard this letter.