Title: Comforting Thoughts
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Carter or Abby. Oh, and for Carby haters, this isn't a Carby. For Carby lovers, don't worry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Abby stood on the roof, smoking a cigarette, with a cup of coffee in her hand. It was freezing, but she didn't care. She was already numb anyway. She sighed, fighting the urge to burst into tears. She couldn't believe that Brian had done this. She knew he was dangerous...why had she unlocked the door the second time? Why couldn't she just have kept the door locked...keep him out...she heard the roof door open. She looked over her shoulder to see Carter walk out to join her.
"Hey," he said, quietly.
"Hey," she whispered.
Carter breathed in the fresh air. He glanced at Abby. The bruise on her face was pretty big. He looked away, but Abby had already caught him. She smiled slightly.
"If you want to say something about it, say it," she said.
Carter gave her a surprised look. "Abby, I..."
She held up a hand to stop him. She smiled again. "It's OK, Carter."
Carter returned her smile and chuckled. He looked out at Chicago's night sky, slightly blinded by all the lights. He sighed and looked at Abby again.
"You know, everyone's downstairs worrying about you," he said.
"Yeah, well, they'll find something else to do," Abby said with a smirk.
Carter nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"You know, I just want everyone to stop asking..." Abby started.
"If you're OK," Carter finished.
Abby glanced at him, a little surprised. "Yeah, exactly," she said.
He nodded again. "So, I'm going to put my neck on the line and piss you off...are you OK?"
Abby laughed for the first time in the night. She looked at her tall friend.
"You know, if you were someone else, I'd say I was fine. But, I'm going to tell you the truth."
"Oh, well, I'm honored," Carter joked. Abby punched his arm and he laughed.
"Anyway, I'm not doing too hot, you know? I mean, I shouldn't have let him in. Not again."
"Abby, you can't blame yourself for this."
"Yeah, so says everyone else downstairs."
Carter looked down. "It's just going to take time."
Abby looked at him, annoyed. "Time? `It's going to take time'? Well, you know what? I don't want it to `take time', I want it to go away," she vented.
Carter understood. "I understand how you feel, Abby," he said, cautiously.
"How the hell would you understand? You don't know how it feels to be attacked..." she trailed off, realizing who she was talking to. She covered her mouth.
Carter continued to stare at the ground. He knew Abby's feelings were all over the place, but what she said still stung.
"Carter," he heard her whisper.
He looked at her, praying that the tears wouldn't come. He couldn't cry...Abby had been hurt now, not him. If anyone was going to cry, it was going to be her.
"Carter," she said again, "I'm so sorry. I...I zoned out and forgot who I was talking to...I..."
Carter shook his head. "Abby, it's OK...like I said, I understand. You just needed to vent."
Abby gave him a worried glance, but he didn't notice it. She looked away.
"I don't even know why I'm complaining...you had it way worse than I did."
Carter's head shot up and he looked at her. "Abby, don't you ever say that again."
She looked at him, shocked. "Wha...?"
"You listen to me, Abby Lockhart, you were hurt. You were attacked by a man who abused his wife...who hurt women for no good reason. I was attacked by a man who didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know he had stabbed two people and killed one until he was told later on. You were attacked and I was attacked. It doesn't matter how we were hurt...we were still both attacked. So don't you dare say you had it better than me. Because you didn't. You didn't deserve this. No woman does." Carter said, his voice full of compassion.
Abby stared at him. "You didn't deserve to be stabbed either, Carter. Lucy didn't deserve to die. I know you blame yourself for it. But you can't. Just like I can't blame myself for my attack. I guess we both needed to figure that out."
Carter and Abby looked each other in the eye. Before she knew it, Abby had walked over to Carter and pulled him into a huge hug.
Abby began to cry and Carter stroked her hair, comforting her. "You are an amazing person, Abby. You're my best friend. And I wouldn't have it any other way," he whispered into her ear. He felt hot tears begin to run down his cheek as well and he closed his eyes, hugging Abby closer to him.
Abby sniffled as her friend held her. "I wouldn't have it any other way either, John. Never," she cried as he continued to stroke her hair. They pulled apart and sighed. They both gave a small laugh.
"So, they probably miss us downstairs," Abby said, breaking the silence.
"Huh, I'm feeling a little déjà vu," Carter said.
Abby smiled. "Hey, this time, I won't let you wander off on your own," she teased.
"Yeah, at least they're not having a part tonight," Carter laughed, feeling a little weird joking about the worst moment of his entire life.
"Carter?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what, Abby?"
"For being my friend...for coming up here, for opening my eyes, for...everything," she said.
Carter gave her one of his stunning smiles.
"That's what friends are for," he replied, as he took her by the hand and led her to the door. From there, they walked, hand-in-hand, back to the ER.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Carter or Abby. Oh, and for Carby haters, this isn't a Carby. For Carby lovers, don't worry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Abby stood on the roof, smoking a cigarette, with a cup of coffee in her hand. It was freezing, but she didn't care. She was already numb anyway. She sighed, fighting the urge to burst into tears. She couldn't believe that Brian had done this. She knew he was dangerous...why had she unlocked the door the second time? Why couldn't she just have kept the door locked...keep him out...she heard the roof door open. She looked over her shoulder to see Carter walk out to join her.
"Hey," he said, quietly.
"Hey," she whispered.
Carter breathed in the fresh air. He glanced at Abby. The bruise on her face was pretty big. He looked away, but Abby had already caught him. She smiled slightly.
"If you want to say something about it, say it," she said.
Carter gave her a surprised look. "Abby, I..."
She held up a hand to stop him. She smiled again. "It's OK, Carter."
Carter returned her smile and chuckled. He looked out at Chicago's night sky, slightly blinded by all the lights. He sighed and looked at Abby again.
"You know, everyone's downstairs worrying about you," he said.
"Yeah, well, they'll find something else to do," Abby said with a smirk.
Carter nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"You know, I just want everyone to stop asking..." Abby started.
"If you're OK," Carter finished.
Abby glanced at him, a little surprised. "Yeah, exactly," she said.
He nodded again. "So, I'm going to put my neck on the line and piss you off...are you OK?"
Abby laughed for the first time in the night. She looked at her tall friend.
"You know, if you were someone else, I'd say I was fine. But, I'm going to tell you the truth."
"Oh, well, I'm honored," Carter joked. Abby punched his arm and he laughed.
"Anyway, I'm not doing too hot, you know? I mean, I shouldn't have let him in. Not again."
"Abby, you can't blame yourself for this."
"Yeah, so says everyone else downstairs."
Carter looked down. "It's just going to take time."
Abby looked at him, annoyed. "Time? `It's going to take time'? Well, you know what? I don't want it to `take time', I want it to go away," she vented.
Carter understood. "I understand how you feel, Abby," he said, cautiously.
"How the hell would you understand? You don't know how it feels to be attacked..." she trailed off, realizing who she was talking to. She covered her mouth.
Carter continued to stare at the ground. He knew Abby's feelings were all over the place, but what she said still stung.
"Carter," he heard her whisper.
He looked at her, praying that the tears wouldn't come. He couldn't cry...Abby had been hurt now, not him. If anyone was going to cry, it was going to be her.
"Carter," she said again, "I'm so sorry. I...I zoned out and forgot who I was talking to...I..."
Carter shook his head. "Abby, it's OK...like I said, I understand. You just needed to vent."
Abby gave him a worried glance, but he didn't notice it. She looked away.
"I don't even know why I'm complaining...you had it way worse than I did."
Carter's head shot up and he looked at her. "Abby, don't you ever say that again."
She looked at him, shocked. "Wha...?"
"You listen to me, Abby Lockhart, you were hurt. You were attacked by a man who abused his wife...who hurt women for no good reason. I was attacked by a man who didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know he had stabbed two people and killed one until he was told later on. You were attacked and I was attacked. It doesn't matter how we were hurt...we were still both attacked. So don't you dare say you had it better than me. Because you didn't. You didn't deserve this. No woman does." Carter said, his voice full of compassion.
Abby stared at him. "You didn't deserve to be stabbed either, Carter. Lucy didn't deserve to die. I know you blame yourself for it. But you can't. Just like I can't blame myself for my attack. I guess we both needed to figure that out."
Carter and Abby looked each other in the eye. Before she knew it, Abby had walked over to Carter and pulled him into a huge hug.
Abby began to cry and Carter stroked her hair, comforting her. "You are an amazing person, Abby. You're my best friend. And I wouldn't have it any other way," he whispered into her ear. He felt hot tears begin to run down his cheek as well and he closed his eyes, hugging Abby closer to him.
Abby sniffled as her friend held her. "I wouldn't have it any other way either, John. Never," she cried as he continued to stroke her hair. They pulled apart and sighed. They both gave a small laugh.
"So, they probably miss us downstairs," Abby said, breaking the silence.
"Huh, I'm feeling a little déjà vu," Carter said.
Abby smiled. "Hey, this time, I won't let you wander off on your own," she teased.
"Yeah, at least they're not having a part tonight," Carter laughed, feeling a little weird joking about the worst moment of his entire life.
"Carter?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what, Abby?"
"For being my friend...for coming up here, for opening my eyes, for...everything," she said.
Carter gave her one of his stunning smiles.
"That's what friends are for," he replied, as he took her by the hand and led her to the door. From there, they walked, hand-in-hand, back to the ER.