On Saying Goodbye
Chapter paced, back and forth, back and forth, across the width of the alley. She sighed, drumming her fingers on a box. She was trying to think. It wasn't working very well. The moonlight filled the small alley, casting shadows to everything. Everything seemed big and exaggerated, monstrous, impending. Chapter tried not to be frightened. She sighed and coughed, which led to an even stronger attack, during which she rolled her eyes and hacked for several moments on end. When she had finally regained her shallow breath, she wiped at the tiny stream of blood trickling down her lip, pretending that it had never been there.
Free stormed down the streets, winding through alleys, on a search. She had to find her, make her see what an incredible...mistake she had made, what an amazing ass she had been... She heard the ominous coughing in a nearby alley. That was her. She rounded the corner and stopped dead. There she was. Chapter looked up from her seat on a crate. There wasn't a trace of emotion on her face. Every emotion was clouded out by her misery. Free, however, had emotion enough for the both of them. She started in, without missing a beat.
"You.' she mustered, her voice filled with malice. "How...could you?"
Chapter merely stared. She had nothing to say to her. Free didn't know what it was like. She would never know. Free continued her berate.
"He loved you. And then you went off with some press boy...some...filthy scabber who doesn't have half what Solo has. God, couldn't you see that? Couldn't you understand? No. You could never understand. You don't deserve it."
"What has it to do with you, anyway?" Chapter stated flatly in her shallow voice. She coughed a little afterwards.
"I'm your best friend!" she spat, "It's got everything to do with me."
The two glared into each other's eyes, not giving in to the other's growingly malicious glares.
"I'm going to die." she stated in her ever-flat voice.
"And you'll damn-well deserve it too!"
"How the hell can you say that to me? What is in you that's so strongly against me? I haven't done anything to you." Chapter rose slowly, carefully, from her crate seat. She stood tall, though not even an inch taller than her opposing force.
"You have no idea what you've done to me, bitch."
A fist sailed through the air. It was Chapter's, and it landed in the center of Free's abdomen. She stumbled back, startled by the surprising strength the blow had possessed. She stood there, not knowing how to respond, but her shock quickly turned to rage. She tackled Chapter , causing her to fall back, collapsing against a crate that collapsed as well. Once again, Chapter's breath had vanished. Free moved in, sending fists in every direction, screaming out curses, though Chapter didn't hear the words. Her world was darkness and pain, no breath, no air. She had to get the air back. Through all the fist flailing Free was doing, Chapter coughed, or tried to cough between blows. Finally, Free stopped, staring intently at Chapter, who was engulfed in a painful attack yet again. Then she looked around at where she was.
"This is stupid." she finally stated. Chapter only glared at her, turning her head to finally breathe. Specks of red littered her shirt. She pretended they weren't there. "Look. How about you and I just...stop talking or something. We won't look at each other and then everything will be fine." Chapter didn't say anything for a moment. She sat up, as slowly and as carefully as before, nursing an impending black eye.
Without any lead-up whatsoever, she flew back at Free. There was no way she would take that.
"Upstate scum, always running from things. You stay here and finish this!"
"You lowlifes don't know what you're talking about!" Free countered. The two toppled over one another, throwing their faces into each other's hands.
"You're just as much of a lowlife as I am!" she hollered, "At least my family loved me!"
Free punched her hard in the stomach, "You think I chose where I was raised? You think I chose my family?"
"This is for Italy!" she hollered, proclaiming her loyalty to her native country, "This is for Brooklyn! This is for Solo!" By now she was screaming. With every proclamation, she sent a blow to Free. Free stared up at her with hard eyes once Chapter's blows ceased and she gave into another coughing fit. She didn't take the time to wipe away the blood.
"I'm from Brooklyn too, you ignoramus." she hooted, tackling Chapter once again.
Solo stood on the street just between Jersey and New York. He was going back, tired of running. He was ready to forgive, if Chapter begged forgiveness, of course. He started into New York, headed back to Brooklyn, not looking back. Jersey wasn't his home, his home was in Brooklyn with the papes. And...Chapter.
The streets were deathly still that night, only several street-dwellers were still around. He passed many a sleeping child, cuddled up with stolen potato sacks and the like. He remembered with a grimace how he had lived the same ruthless existence.
But he swallowed it back now. Now he had a focus, something to find. Winding through the streets, he tried not to get lost. He was headed for the lodging house where he was certain Chapter would be. She would be standing on the roof, and she would fling herself into his arms the second she saw him. Yes. That was how it was going to be. As he walked, he heard screams and yelling and he rolled his eyes. Another Brooklyn street brawl. They abounded at this time of night. But as he neared the voices, they began to sound hauntingly familiar. It was two girls. One screamed. She sounded so much like someone he knew... The other insulted, using her wide vocabulary of profanities. Free.
He hurried closer, abandoning his Lodging House plan for a moment. Free was at it again, with another poor victim in her grasp. This wasn't the first time he had had to pull her away from someone. Finally he found the alley in which the two girls were fighting. He was right, one of them was Free. The other was thrown against the wall where she collapsed and slid to the ground, giving in for the moment. But Free didn't give her time to think. She started moving in and the girl lifted her head, staring into Free's face, emotionless.
"Chapter!' Solo screeched, bounding in and throwing his arms around Free, wrestling her to the ground and away from Chapter. He started beating at her mercilessly, joining in the insulting that had abounded that night.
"Bitch, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Chapter hadn't moved from her position against the wall. She wasn't coughing for a change, but she was crying, harder than she had ever cried in her life.
"Solo!" Free hollered between blows, "Lemme go!" Solo hesitantly let her go. But she flew back at him, trying to tackle him, disregarding of course the fact that he weighed almost twice what she did and could swing her around by her hair without exerting so much as a gram of effort. She did, however, manage to punch him in a few places that he wasn't so comfortable with.
"Stop..." Chapter moaned in her raspy, miserable voice. Neither of the brawling pair heard her. They continued on. "Stop it..." she wailed again, trying to pick up volume. "Solo!" she finally gave in and yelled at him.
Solo looked up, letting Free fall to the ground with a thud. "What?" he called back.
"Stop it...both of you." She started coughing some. Solo stood, concern filling his eyes. Disregarding Free, he came over to Chapter.
"He started it." Free pouted, pointing a finger at Solo. Neither noticed.
Chapter's coughing grew more rapid, her breath growing shallower.
"What happened to you?" Solo whispered, taking her into his arms.
"I-- I'm sick, Solo." She managed between coughs.
"That's an understatement." Free snorted from the background.
Solo rocked her gently, "It's going to be okay...I'll make it be okay..." He felt like bursting into tears right then and there, but of course he couldn't do that. He even tried. He tried to cry, but he couldn't. He didn't remember how.
"She's going to die." Free said to Solo. "She got consumption and now she's going to die."
Solo was outraged, "She is not, you wench! Don't you dare say that." He held her closer than before. Chapter continued to cry and cough. Solo saw the blood. He wiped it from her lips with his thumb. "She's lying, Chapter. Don't you listen to her. She's not as strong as you are. You're not dying..." Chapter only shook her head sadly.
"I want to die." she whispered so quietly, "It's too hard for me. I don't like suffering."
"No!" Solo next-to-wailed. "You can't do this to me!"
"Solo, do you think she could help it much? It's not her fault..." Free's words trailed off. Chapter started shivering, just a little at first, but then her whole body was quaking. She couldn't stop it.
She reached a shaky hand up to Solo's cheek, "I'm sorry..." she whispered, "I'm so... sorry."
"No! No, it's okay. I want you back, and I'm not gonna let you die."
"Solo..." she wailed. "Please...don't do this..."
"You're not dying, see? You stopped coughing. You're going to be fine..."
"No, Solo. She's not going to be fine." Free couldn't believe he was being so blind...
"Please..." Chapter whispered to him. "Please..."
"Please what? I'll do anything. Tell me what to do."
"Kiss me. And tell my sister that I just went away for a little while."
"No!" he howled.
"Then just kiss me." she whispered, her breath shallow. How was he supposed to know that these were their last...few...moments?
He lowered his head and kissed her deeply, afraid to let her go. He knew that if he let her go...something would be different. That perhaps she would run away from him. But the kiss came to an end. She looked up into his eyes. Free gagged at the lovey-dovey scene, but didn't say anything, her last courteous gift.
Chapter began to cough again, that horrible, merciless, miserable cough. That was it. She wanted it to be over and done with. Her eyes were blurry with tears. As they slid down her cheek, Solo tried to wipe away as many as he could.
"Free." she whispered faintly. Free looked over at her, into Chapter's eyes. She had lost the hatred towards her, and she was beginning to regret it. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay..." Free whispered, her voice quivering until finally she began to cry. "You keep yourself safe, you hear me? I'll get your sister to you safely...when she's supposed to go and all..." She turned around, her back to Chapter. She couldn't stand anyone seeing her tears.
Solo held onto her, "What about me, huh? You gonna see me again? You just gonna forget about me?"
Chapter rolled her eyes and forced a half smile. "I can't forget about you. And I will see you again. You're not gonna forget me though, are you?"
"Never. I love you."
Chapter's eyes began to droop. She squeezed onto Solo's hand and let her head fall against his shoulder. Her hand went limp. Her suffering was over.
Solo looked up at Free, and then he remembered how to cry.
Chapter paced, back and forth, back and forth, across the width of the alley. She sighed, drumming her fingers on a box. She was trying to think. It wasn't working very well. The moonlight filled the small alley, casting shadows to everything. Everything seemed big and exaggerated, monstrous, impending. Chapter tried not to be frightened. She sighed and coughed, which led to an even stronger attack, during which she rolled her eyes and hacked for several moments on end. When she had finally regained her shallow breath, she wiped at the tiny stream of blood trickling down her lip, pretending that it had never been there.
Free stormed down the streets, winding through alleys, on a search. She had to find her, make her see what an incredible...mistake she had made, what an amazing ass she had been... She heard the ominous coughing in a nearby alley. That was her. She rounded the corner and stopped dead. There she was. Chapter looked up from her seat on a crate. There wasn't a trace of emotion on her face. Every emotion was clouded out by her misery. Free, however, had emotion enough for the both of them. She started in, without missing a beat.
"You.' she mustered, her voice filled with malice. "How...could you?"
Chapter merely stared. She had nothing to say to her. Free didn't know what it was like. She would never know. Free continued her berate.
"He loved you. And then you went off with some press boy...some...filthy scabber who doesn't have half what Solo has. God, couldn't you see that? Couldn't you understand? No. You could never understand. You don't deserve it."
"What has it to do with you, anyway?" Chapter stated flatly in her shallow voice. She coughed a little afterwards.
"I'm your best friend!" she spat, "It's got everything to do with me."
The two glared into each other's eyes, not giving in to the other's growingly malicious glares.
"I'm going to die." she stated in her ever-flat voice.
"And you'll damn-well deserve it too!"
"How the hell can you say that to me? What is in you that's so strongly against me? I haven't done anything to you." Chapter rose slowly, carefully, from her crate seat. She stood tall, though not even an inch taller than her opposing force.
"You have no idea what you've done to me, bitch."
A fist sailed through the air. It was Chapter's, and it landed in the center of Free's abdomen. She stumbled back, startled by the surprising strength the blow had possessed. She stood there, not knowing how to respond, but her shock quickly turned to rage. She tackled Chapter , causing her to fall back, collapsing against a crate that collapsed as well. Once again, Chapter's breath had vanished. Free moved in, sending fists in every direction, screaming out curses, though Chapter didn't hear the words. Her world was darkness and pain, no breath, no air. She had to get the air back. Through all the fist flailing Free was doing, Chapter coughed, or tried to cough between blows. Finally, Free stopped, staring intently at Chapter, who was engulfed in a painful attack yet again. Then she looked around at where she was.
"This is stupid." she finally stated. Chapter only glared at her, turning her head to finally breathe. Specks of red littered her shirt. She pretended they weren't there. "Look. How about you and I just...stop talking or something. We won't look at each other and then everything will be fine." Chapter didn't say anything for a moment. She sat up, as slowly and as carefully as before, nursing an impending black eye.
Without any lead-up whatsoever, she flew back at Free. There was no way she would take that.
"Upstate scum, always running from things. You stay here and finish this!"
"You lowlifes don't know what you're talking about!" Free countered. The two toppled over one another, throwing their faces into each other's hands.
"You're just as much of a lowlife as I am!" she hollered, "At least my family loved me!"
Free punched her hard in the stomach, "You think I chose where I was raised? You think I chose my family?"
"This is for Italy!" she hollered, proclaiming her loyalty to her native country, "This is for Brooklyn! This is for Solo!" By now she was screaming. With every proclamation, she sent a blow to Free. Free stared up at her with hard eyes once Chapter's blows ceased and she gave into another coughing fit. She didn't take the time to wipe away the blood.
"I'm from Brooklyn too, you ignoramus." she hooted, tackling Chapter once again.
Solo stood on the street just between Jersey and New York. He was going back, tired of running. He was ready to forgive, if Chapter begged forgiveness, of course. He started into New York, headed back to Brooklyn, not looking back. Jersey wasn't his home, his home was in Brooklyn with the papes. And...Chapter.
The streets were deathly still that night, only several street-dwellers were still around. He passed many a sleeping child, cuddled up with stolen potato sacks and the like. He remembered with a grimace how he had lived the same ruthless existence.
But he swallowed it back now. Now he had a focus, something to find. Winding through the streets, he tried not to get lost. He was headed for the lodging house where he was certain Chapter would be. She would be standing on the roof, and she would fling herself into his arms the second she saw him. Yes. That was how it was going to be. As he walked, he heard screams and yelling and he rolled his eyes. Another Brooklyn street brawl. They abounded at this time of night. But as he neared the voices, they began to sound hauntingly familiar. It was two girls. One screamed. She sounded so much like someone he knew... The other insulted, using her wide vocabulary of profanities. Free.
He hurried closer, abandoning his Lodging House plan for a moment. Free was at it again, with another poor victim in her grasp. This wasn't the first time he had had to pull her away from someone. Finally he found the alley in which the two girls were fighting. He was right, one of them was Free. The other was thrown against the wall where she collapsed and slid to the ground, giving in for the moment. But Free didn't give her time to think. She started moving in and the girl lifted her head, staring into Free's face, emotionless.
"Chapter!' Solo screeched, bounding in and throwing his arms around Free, wrestling her to the ground and away from Chapter. He started beating at her mercilessly, joining in the insulting that had abounded that night.
"Bitch, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Chapter hadn't moved from her position against the wall. She wasn't coughing for a change, but she was crying, harder than she had ever cried in her life.
"Solo!" Free hollered between blows, "Lemme go!" Solo hesitantly let her go. But she flew back at him, trying to tackle him, disregarding of course the fact that he weighed almost twice what she did and could swing her around by her hair without exerting so much as a gram of effort. She did, however, manage to punch him in a few places that he wasn't so comfortable with.
"Stop..." Chapter moaned in her raspy, miserable voice. Neither of the brawling pair heard her. They continued on. "Stop it..." she wailed again, trying to pick up volume. "Solo!" she finally gave in and yelled at him.
Solo looked up, letting Free fall to the ground with a thud. "What?" he called back.
"Stop it...both of you." She started coughing some. Solo stood, concern filling his eyes. Disregarding Free, he came over to Chapter.
"He started it." Free pouted, pointing a finger at Solo. Neither noticed.
Chapter's coughing grew more rapid, her breath growing shallower.
"What happened to you?" Solo whispered, taking her into his arms.
"I-- I'm sick, Solo." She managed between coughs.
"That's an understatement." Free snorted from the background.
Solo rocked her gently, "It's going to be okay...I'll make it be okay..." He felt like bursting into tears right then and there, but of course he couldn't do that. He even tried. He tried to cry, but he couldn't. He didn't remember how.
"She's going to die." Free said to Solo. "She got consumption and now she's going to die."
Solo was outraged, "She is not, you wench! Don't you dare say that." He held her closer than before. Chapter continued to cry and cough. Solo saw the blood. He wiped it from her lips with his thumb. "She's lying, Chapter. Don't you listen to her. She's not as strong as you are. You're not dying..." Chapter only shook her head sadly.
"I want to die." she whispered so quietly, "It's too hard for me. I don't like suffering."
"No!" Solo next-to-wailed. "You can't do this to me!"
"Solo, do you think she could help it much? It's not her fault..." Free's words trailed off. Chapter started shivering, just a little at first, but then her whole body was quaking. She couldn't stop it.
She reached a shaky hand up to Solo's cheek, "I'm sorry..." she whispered, "I'm so... sorry."
"No! No, it's okay. I want you back, and I'm not gonna let you die."
"Solo..." she wailed. "Please...don't do this..."
"You're not dying, see? You stopped coughing. You're going to be fine..."
"No, Solo. She's not going to be fine." Free couldn't believe he was being so blind...
"Please..." Chapter whispered to him. "Please..."
"Please what? I'll do anything. Tell me what to do."
"Kiss me. And tell my sister that I just went away for a little while."
"No!" he howled.
"Then just kiss me." she whispered, her breath shallow. How was he supposed to know that these were their last...few...moments?
He lowered his head and kissed her deeply, afraid to let her go. He knew that if he let her go...something would be different. That perhaps she would run away from him. But the kiss came to an end. She looked up into his eyes. Free gagged at the lovey-dovey scene, but didn't say anything, her last courteous gift.
Chapter began to cough again, that horrible, merciless, miserable cough. That was it. She wanted it to be over and done with. Her eyes were blurry with tears. As they slid down her cheek, Solo tried to wipe away as many as he could.
"Free." she whispered faintly. Free looked over at her, into Chapter's eyes. She had lost the hatred towards her, and she was beginning to regret it. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay..." Free whispered, her voice quivering until finally she began to cry. "You keep yourself safe, you hear me? I'll get your sister to you safely...when she's supposed to go and all..." She turned around, her back to Chapter. She couldn't stand anyone seeing her tears.
Solo held onto her, "What about me, huh? You gonna see me again? You just gonna forget about me?"
Chapter rolled her eyes and forced a half smile. "I can't forget about you. And I will see you again. You're not gonna forget me though, are you?"
"Never. I love you."
Chapter's eyes began to droop. She squeezed onto Solo's hand and let her head fall against his shoulder. Her hand went limp. Her suffering was over.
Solo looked up at Free, and then he remembered how to cry.