This is Lady of the Wolves Challenge. Faith, I hope you like it, o know, I know. It took me long enough. I am well aware. I should be practicing my clarinet for our scales test Monday, there blows my chance of beating James. Crap. Or I should be doing my numerous projects, but no! I am writing this. (And baby-sitting Freak and his little friend.) sigh, by now you should be able to figure out what is mine.
"Lizzee's * Special * Challenge of DOOM!!"
* Insert evil laugh here *
Here were my requirements:
The Tiki Thing (capitalized appropriately) (AAGGGHHHHH!!!) Someone proposing marriage to someone else (I'm talking guy to girl or girl to guy, ok?!) A spoof of the Brittany Spears Pepsi commercial (Ooh, brb, I am thirsty) This line: "¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!" A runaway lawnmower chasing someone A mob of Legolas fangirls Seven dwarves - Not THE 7 dwarves… or is it dwarfs? Someone reading the Guiness Book of World Records aloud James Son and Princess N. The colors red and chartreuse A Mary Sue Curtis isn't allowed in fic (Dang)Okay here it goes:
Harry, Hermione and Ron were peacefully resting on the school grounds talking about - well stuff.
Ron: ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Hermione: No, ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Ron: No, ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Hermione: No, míe nolé no es femuelé. ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Harry: Will you two shut up? What does that mean anyway?
*Ron and Hermione laugh*
Hermione: Nolé de Harry es mú femuelé, ¿no?
Ron: Oui, mú, mú.
Harry *rolling his eyes* : Whatever.
*Ron and Hermione buckle over laughing*
Harry: OMG!! AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Herm: What is it?
Ron: Is it You-know-who?
Harry: No its worse than that!
Herm: Is it Curtis? (You didn't say I couldn't mention him…)
Harry: WORSE!
Herm: Curtis naked?
Harry: Worse!
Ron: Can it get worse?
Harry: YES!!
Herm and Ron: Then what?
Harry: ITS - THE TIKI THING!!!!
All three: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! RUN!!!!!!
*The three run from the dreaded terror*
The Tiki Thing: Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh….
They ran for what seemed like hours, but was only - uh hours. They ran straight into the forest and stopped at the first clearing.
Ron: God, now I know what Dumbledore means by there are worse things in the world…
Herm: I know.
Harry: Me too.
A voice: Me three
Second voice: Me four
Third voice: Me five
Fourth voice: Me six
Fifth voice: No me six!
Fourth voice: No me six!
Sixth voice: No, me six. Me is the sixth voice - oops
The three wizards turn around to see seven dwarfs ( not THE seven dwarfs) arguing behind them about who is 'six'.
Ron: Okay….
Harry: This is strange
Herm: Yeah, well, might as well do something about it instead of gaping. *turning to the dwarfs* What are your names?
First dwarf-thing(voice): Me is Loopy
Second dwarf-thing(voice): Me is Chubby
Ron: Well that's obvious…
*Herm shoots Ron a deadly glare*
Third dwarf-thing(Voice) (wheezing): Me is Wheezy
Fourth dwarf-thing(Voice-do you get the picture yet?): Me is Stinky
Fifth dwarf-thing: No me is Stinky!
Fourth dwarf-thing: No me is Stinky, You is Smelly!
*Hermione rolls eyes*
Fifth dwarf-thing: Oh-yeah
Sixth dwarf-thing: Me is Moocow
*Seventh dwarf-thing says nothing*
Sixth dwarf-thing: He is Stoned
Harry: I can tell….
Hermione *whispering to Harry* : That's his name
Harry: oh….
*Stinky and Smelly argue over who has the worst stench*
Ron: You both smell awful, when was the last time you showered?
Stinky (proudly): Seven years ago
Smelly: Ha! Seven and a third years ago!
Ron: That is disgusting
Herm: Ron….
Dwarfs: Let's get'em!
Herm: No, he didn't mean it… to be bad, he was complementing you!
Moocow: Oh in that case….
*Stoned falls over*
Loopy: Oh no! Stoned is - uh stoned!
Harry: Herm, I think we have to - uh - go.
Ron: Yeah, we are late for er- Divination class
Herm: Yeah, we will er, see you some other time, Loopy, Smelly, Stinky, Chubby, Wheezy, Moocow and Stoned….
The three wizards wander back to Hogwarts, but changed their course when they heard a bunch of chattering. They didn't go toward it, they tried to get away from the talking incase it turned out to be the dwarfs -or worse The Tiki Thing!
Female voice: Hey! Wait a second!
Harry: Wha- whoa! You're hot…
*Girl Blushes slightly*
Girl: Hi, I am Courtney, I am here with the Legolas Fangirl group.
Other girl: Yeah, ignore Courtney, she falls for every guy around. Have you by any chance seen an EXTREMELY HOT ELF by the name of Legolas, would you?
Mob of Fangirls (In Harry's opinion, all as hot as Courtney): We can't find him! He is sooo hot! We need to find him!
*Ginny comes out of nowhere*
Ginny: Hi Courtney, Lisa, Kelly, Christine, Nicole, Katie, Annie, Mary…..
Ron: You know all of them?
Ginny: Yeah, they are my friends
Mob of Fangirls (MOF): We can't find him, so that cute guy with the scar will do….
*Ginny grabs Harry*
Ginny: NO HE IS MINE!!!! MINE!!!!
Harry: um….
*Hermione notices a hot elf keeping to the shadows*
Herm: LOOK! THERE'S LEGOLAS!!!!
MOF: LEGOLAS!!! MY LOVE!!!!
Legolas: Aghhhhhh! They found me!!!
*Legolas runs an the mob of Fangirls chases him through the forest*
Ron: That was strange….
Hermione (groaning): This whole day has been strange. Why doesn't Curtis just come back, that would be the only thing that could make my day worse.
Ginny: My day hasn't been out of the ordinary
*Three give her the 'Freak-Look'*
Ginny (cowering): Why don't you tell me what has gone on?
So as they walked back to the grounds the three filled Ginny in on what all has gone on since they left breakfast this morning.
When they reached the grounds they saw some guy standing by the pond, minding his own business. Well, he had some blank stare on his face, probably thinking - if he could.
They were about to go over to him because he looked new, but then a lawnmower dropped from the sky and started chasing him across the lawns. After watching (and laughing hysterically) the nincompoop run across the lawns screaming like a girl, Hermione decided to go help him.
Ron: Why? Its so much more fun to watch him!
Herm: Because, it is my duty as Head Girl
Harry: ****( Er fudge) being head-girl
Herm: Harry! Inappropriate language around young ears
Ginny: You really shouldn't be so mean to Ron, he can't help being slow.
Ron: Wha?
Herm (ignoring that comment): And plus, Head Girl is capitalized, now excuse me. I am going to go help that er- freak.
*Hermione runs over to the idiot and shoots a spell at the lawnmower*
Hermione: Lawnmower of All Sacredness! Go back to the sky and find some innocent Muggle to chase!
*Lawnmower makes a funny noise and flies off*
The freak: Thank you so much! You saved my life!
*Grovels at her feet*
Herm: Just my job
*Guy looks up at Hermione and instantly falls in love with her*
Guy (jumping to his feet): Hello, I am James Son. Who are you?
Hermione: Uh- Hermione Granger, nice to meet you….
*Offers him her hand*
James Son (taking her hand and kissing it, making Hermione use all her self-control not to hurl): You're beautiful, will you marry me?
Hermione (Slapping him): YOU (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)!!! (this has been censored because this fic is rated PG, and is staying there)
Ron *Runs up and grabs Hermione who is cussing so much everyone covers their ears* : Herm, lets go!
Harry and Ron had to drag Hermione into the castle and the last they saw of James Son was he and Ginny flirting. That did make Harry a little upset, but he decided to ignore it.
They walked through the castle attempting to go to the Divination room to figure out if this day could get any worse. But when they got there, Pr. Treawnly wasn't there. They decided to check the teacher's lounge.
A female voice: Hermione!
*Herm turns around*
Hermione: Mary Sue!
Mary Sue: I have missed you so much! I haven't seen you in, like, years!
Hermione: Like, I know!
*Ron and Harry look frightened*
Mary Sue: Like, Hermione, I, like, need your help on, like, something
Hermione: Like, okay!
Mary Sue: Like, Princess Nick thinks that chartreuse is a maroon color-
Princess Nick: NO! It's a dark red color!
Mary Sue: Maroon, is, like, basically, like, the same thing!
Princess Nick: Well I said Maroon!
Mary Sue: It, like, doesn't matter, because chartreuse is, like, a light green color anyway!
Princess Nick: No it, like, isn't! It's a red color!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: Green!
Princess Nick: Red!
Mary Sue: It's a light green color!
Princess Nick: How do you know?
Mary Sue: Because I am, like, a Mary Sue. And, like, Mary Sues are always, like, right! Right, Hermione?
Hermione: Yeah, of course Mary Sues are always right.
Princess Nick: Since when?
Hermione: Since they made the rules. See here. *Hermione pulls a thick book out of nowhere* Right here-Writing a fanfic rule number 523: Mary Sues are perfect, ALWAYS. They are ALWAYS the prettiest, smartest, and best at everything. And most important -THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT!
Princess Nick: Oh….
Mary Sue: Ha! Thanks Hermione!
Hermione: Like, anytime!
Mary Sue and Hermione: Mary Sues' UNITE!
Princess Nick, Ron, and Harry: Umm…..
Hermione Ron and Harry continue walking down the hall leaving Princess Nick and Mary Sue argue about the color red.
Ron: I don't see what there is to argue about, red is red.
Harry: Biiiiiiiig mistake, Ron.
Hermione: Well, Ron, there are many complexities to the color red….
Ron and Harry attempted to tune her out but found it really hard.
Hermione stopped when she noticed Draco walking down the hall with a book in his hand.
Hermione (whispering): Is he actually studying?
Draco: In 2001, Bob Helpme was the first man to mumble the phrase the cow knows what the omelet does not for a straight sixteen hundred and fifty eight hours. Rumor has it he is a weresquirrel. In 1999, Clara Winston won the "Stupidest Death Award" for the fifth time, Scientists are still trying to figure this one out. In 1998, Christopher Callus beat the world record for having one's finger up one's nose. Beating the previous record of two years, thirty-eight hours, sixteen minutes and forty-two seconds by twenty five minutes exactly. In 1977…..
Hermione: Oh, he is just reading the Guiness Book of World Record aloud again. I wish he would do that elsewhere.
The guys just gave her a weird look and they continued walking toward the teacher's lounge.
What they heard as they approached was a God awful racket that was so horrible that it couldn't be explained. On the door there was a sign that read : Kareokee Night! ( HOW THE BEEP DO YOU SPELL THAT WORD???)
Hermione: I am afraid to enter….
Ron: We can do it! We are strong!
Harry: You sound like the women's ad from the early fifties…
The three entered to see all of the teachers sitting around a small stage in the middle of the room with Dumbledore on the stage…
Dumbledore (to the beat of the Brittany Spears Pepsi commercial, although extremely off-key): Butter-Be-hiccup!-er, for those who are drunk! Er- are old! *Belch*
Hermione (shutting the door): I don't even want to know….
Harry: This has been the strangest day of my life!
Ron: Yeah….AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
The Tiki Thing: Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh….
All three: AGGH! IT'S THE TIKI THING RUN!!!!
The Tiki Thing: Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh….
~*~
*Harry wakes up*
Harry: Oh, God. I have had the worst dream….
*Harry looks around him to see that he fell asleep down by the pond*
Ron: ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Hermione: No, ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Ron: No, ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Hermione: Míe nolé no es femuelé. ¡Tú nolé es mú femuelé!
Harry: AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*Harry runs back to the castle terrified*
Hermione: What's his problem?
Ron: I don't know. Hey, The Tiki Thing, will you play that song again. I kinda like it….
Hermione: Oh, please, not again!
The Tiki Thing: Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Ba-ba-da! Buh-ba-buh-ba-da! Cha-cha-da! Buh….
Did you like it? I know, I lost it. Actually, studies have shown I never had 'it' whatever 'it' is! Okay R/R.
~*~Liz