Disclaimer:I don't own Collin or anything from Laby. Special thanks to Melissa and Norma. Fade in to non-descript announcer. Ah...what the heck? It's Collin Mochiry from Who's Line Is It Anyway?. He's sitting on a stool in front of a blue screen, a spot-light on him.
Collin:Ah, hello there. Today, I'm going to attempt to sell you a song compileation that should be on the shelf of every music geek. 'Songs of the Underground.' That's right. 'Songs of the Underground.' This is a wonderful little compilation of songs written by Listians to annoy Jareth. First, we have that wonderful parody of the Baha Men's 'Who Let The Dogs Out.' That's right. It's Melissa's 'Who Let The Bog Out.'
Switch to Jareth, off to the side, under another spotlight.
Jareth: "Usually when I'm feeling sexually inadequate!"
Tinny Goblins pop up: "Edi I Oh!"
Jareth: "I kick one or two or three Goblins!"
Tinny Goblins pop up: "Edi I Oh!"
Jareth: "I'm a Fae with lots O Magic!"
Tinny Goblins pop up: "Edi I Oh!"
Jareth: "Abducting young girls to prove my superiority!"
Tinny Goblins pop up: "Edi I Oh!"
Jareth: "I know that you keep starin!"
Tinny Goblins pop up: "Edi I Oh!"
Jareth: "Cause I'm a tights wearing Goblin King!"
Tinny Goblins pop up: "Edi I Oh!"
Switch back to Collin
Collin:Ah yes. Music to my ears. But who can forget that 80's classic, Norma's rendition of Baby Got Back...oh yes! I'm talkin' about Jareth Got Socks!
Switch to Norma
Norma:He's got big socks and he cannot lie! You listians can't deny! His anaconda cann't get none unless he wears socks, hon!
Switch back to Collin
Oh yeah. Someone's goin' to the Bog tonight. But it won't be Norma. It's the singer of this Christmas classic. Jareth Got Run Over By a Goblin!
Switch to LeAnn
LeAnn:Jareth got run over by a goblin! Walkin' home from Sarah's Christmas Eve! You can say there's no such thing as Jaden! But as for me and Spidey we believe!
Switch back to Collin
Collin:Oh yes. So many happy Christmas Memories from that one. And there are so many more great songs on this compilation. Great songs such as 'I Want Sarah', 'I Got You, J,' 'Labyrinth Lady Marmalade', and this little ditty, 'October 86 (Oh What A Night)'.
Switch back to LeAnn.
LeAnn:Oh what a night! Late October back in 86. I was 15, far too young for sex. Then Jareth came and what a night!
Switch backto Collin
Collin:Ah yes. Gotta love songs about seductive tights wearing Goblin Kings. Songs like all these, The Labyrinth Bum Bum Song, and more are all on this great album. That's because Songs of the Underground contains 30 wonderful hits! That's right! Thirty hits! Now then, how much would you pay for this? Twenty dollars? Twenty pounds? No, not that much. This wonderful album can be yours for only $13.13. Call 1-800-Goblins to order yours today. That's 1-800-4625467.