A/N this is just something I wrote while trying to get back in the mood for 'Reunions'. But then it got so late that I couldn't actually write my reunion chapter. Anyway, I've always wondered how mature Lily and James would treat each other after school if they had a hate relationship in school…
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling and I don't claim to own anything but the plot, Hannah, Michael, the Blifferman project, and Mrs. Hayfield...
Ridiculous
By: the Bumbling Firefly
Lily idly wondered what the sky outside looked like. When was the last time she'd bother to glance outside the window? It had to be months ago. Lily shook her head and rubbed her cool fingers against her heated face. It was three o'clock in the morning and it had been months since she'd got her last night of sleep. Now she was almost done with the Blifferman project at the Ministry and then she could go home. She arose from her seat and plodded across the messy office to her cloak. With an off chance glance, Lily caught sight of herself in the mirror and stifled a half grin. If Petunia could only see her…! Her eyes were red and puffy and her hair hung limp and faded. Lily mentally reminded herself to take a bath. It was a wonder she didn't stink by now! She flung the winter green cloak across her shoulders and drew the hood up to hide her face and hair.
The cold air blasted her face and entered her dusty lungs as she entered the outdoors . Lily coughed a couple of times as she fought through the snow to her apartment. Normally, she would have apperated straight home from the office but since she couldn't remember the last time she saw the night sky she had decided to walk. As the wind pushed her backwards and Lily bent her head, she sniffled and wondered how she was stupid enough to choose to do this. It was undoubtedly the worst decision she had made in a long time. If she could only find a tissue!
The stars twinkled merrily down upon their unhappy victim. Their cold glow followed Lily to her second floor apartment where she gratefully unlocked the door and entered the warmth. Never would she walk home again! Besides, she reasoned as she blew her runny nose, it was dangerous to walk alone at night what with all the Voldemort hoopla going on. With a sigh, Lily poured some soy milk for her lactose-intolerant cat and boiled water for soothing tea. Her eyes drooped sleepily as she climbed into bed with a steaming mug and a book. The empty space beside her made Lily depressed. Would she, she wondered, ever find another boyfriend like Michael? It was not likely to happen, Michael the jerk, had dumped her three months before for a Parisian bombshell. Lily wished she didn't feel so lonely…
* * *
The sun's warm glow flooded Lily's bedroom as she blearily opened her eyes. Her hacking and coughing promptly took over. It had been a mistake to walk home in the cold. Lily immediately knew that as she crawled out of the bed and performed the charm that allowed her to speak to her colleagues.
"I'm sorry, Hannah," Lily's head sniffed to her superior. Her nose was making this awkward and Lily felt utterly miserable. "I just don't see how I could make it today."
"It's quite okay," Hannah assured Lily. "We'll deal. I'm actually surprised it took you so long to break down. You must have been quite healthy." Lily grimaced, Michael had been an incurable outdoorsman and he'd taken her on too many outings to recount.
"Yeah," Lily said weakly. "Are you sure you will be okay?" The Blifferman project was an important affair- one she didn't want them to lose on her account.
"Sure, of course," said Hannah. "In fact, the Minister sent over one of his top deputies (a retired Unspeakable I believe) to handle the case. Now you just get back in bed and don't fret. I'm sure James Potter will take care of everything."
Lily obeyed Hannah. The smell of donuts in the office made her want to vomit. It wasn't until she was back under the covers with Calcifer the cat snoozing next to her did she recognize the name. It couldn't be, she thought drowsily, the James Potter. He wasn't old enough to have retired. After all, she was only twenty-six.
* * *
Lily woke up again at two in the afternoon when the smell of chicken noodle soup and toast was blown in her face. She opened up her sticky eyes to find Mrs. Hayfield, the landowner, sitting next to her.
"What?" yawned Lily. She was appalled to hear her voice crack.
"How you doing?" Mrs. Hayfield gently placed the entrée beside Lily's bed. "Hannah says that you have some fever and aren't to come to work until you are completely and one hundred percent better." Lily moaned and covered her face with her pillow.
"Why," her muffled voice came to Mrs. Hayfield, "does the wizarding world have no cure for the flu?" Mrs. Hayfield shook her head sympathetically. It was the last time she was sympathetic during the ordeal- Lily was not the best patient.
* * *
"Mrs. Hayfield," Lily complained as she once again attempted to make her way through the door. "I'm perfectly alright and I think I can go to work again." It was a week later and Lily had gone insane with being cooped up inside. But her symptoms had been reduced to mere scratchy throats, watery eyes, and sneezes. "Don't you think I could get my wand, now?" she wheedled.
Mrs. Hayfield looked over her patient critically. Lily had been stripped of her wand privileges the first time she'd used it to apperate to the office. Lily claimed that she'd only wanted to meet her replacement (which had been a complete lie) but Mrs. Hayfield didn't buy it. Lily had grumbled for the next two days because her office was incredibly neat and tidy, something she despised. All her documents were color coded and everything was easily accessible. Lily had been growling deep in her throat with anger when Mrs. Hayfield caught up with her. Much to her protestations, Lily was taken home immediately and placed into her bed by force. Lily had determined that she needed to meet someone that could do such a sacrilegious act. It was highly irresponsible!
Mrs. Hayfield studied Lily and after a moment of hesitation, gracefully consented Lily's right to go.
"But," she warned, "you are to apperate only, sleep regularly, take a minimum amount of work, and eat at meal times." Lily stopped in her joy dance mid-way. Mrs. Hayfield had just described her usual schedule as 'don't 's.
"What?"
"If you can't do this," Mrs. Hayfielde said sternly, "no work for you." Lily considered her options and she was enormously subdued by eleven o'clock which was the time Mrs. Hayfield finally let her go.
Lily arrived in Hannah's office looking enormously ruffled with a pink thermos filled with soup and a timer wrapped around her wrist. She was also packed in by multitudes of over large sweaters which hung off of her soup nourished body.
"I can't believe this!" Lily raged hurling the thermos on Hannah's desk. "She has me on a timer!" Lily's voice had gotten quite loud and she paused for a moment to cough delicately in her hand. Hannah flicked her wand so that the door closed out the amused looking workers. They had missed their boss' temper. This new guy was incredibly calm.
"Quiet yourself," Hannah said calmly as she conjured a tea cup filled with the steamy liquid and handed it to Lily. Lily slammed the saucer on the table and sloshed its contents on her timer wrist.
"Ouch," she hissed. "And don't think tea is going to calm me either!" she warned Hannah. "This is absolutely positively the last time you are to notify the house owner that I'm sick. That woman is a monster!" Hannah clucked her tongue.
"To think you'd say that about kind Mrs. Hayfield," she scolded.
"Kind Mrs. Hayfield indeed," Lily mimicked in a shrill voice. "That kind Mrs. Abbot has set all these restrictions so I won't even be able to work properly. Just listen to this! I'm supposed to eat every meal of the day, note the timer, I'm supposed to take only a minimum of work, and I'm to sleep regularly. She's going to be CHECKING for goodness sakes!" Lily turned for a minute to look out of the office window and to gather control of her temper by the lightly falling snow. A light knocking interrupted her reverie and Hannah's work.
"Come in," Hannah called. She giggled at Lily. "This new guy is incredibly hot. I could almost wish you'd been gone an extra week."
Lily sniffed disdainfully and glared at the door as if daring the intruder to enter. Had she been gone so long as to let the workers forget that they NEVER interrupted a temper tantrum?
"Pardon me, Hannah, but I have the Blifferman project done," a messy black head appeared from behind the door. His rectangular glasses winked in the sunlight. Oh no, Lily thought, it couldn't be…!
"You didn't," Lily cried in disbelief to Hannah the traitor. "And you just called him cute? Aw, great, this is just great! And he's been in my office? Touching my stuff? Great!" Lily clenched her fists together. Of course her timer chose this highly inappropriate time to go off. "Great!" Lily muttered to herself. "I'm going to damn Mrs. Hayfield to hell and back!"
"After such a highly immature display of emotion," Hannah said with dignity- ignoring the fact that Lily had just divulged the information that she thought Mr. Potter was cute, "I will forgive you only because you have been ill. And I do believe you are supposed to be eating now." She smirked at Lily.
"You're welcome to take my office, Ms. Evans," James Potter added with a grin. He couldn't help but think how cute Lily looked when she was frustrated and angry. Brought him back to the good old days, it did!
"That's my office, Mister Potter," Lily corrected stiffly. "I just hope you haven't bloody ruined it by now!"
"Wouldn't you know?" James asked innocently. "I was informed that you'd visited without permission recently." Lily turned her back on James to stare with shock at Hannah. Hannah shrugged apologetically and Lily's blood boiled. James Potter had been known to convince to girls to spread worse secrets but this was plain wrong.
"Well," Lily sniffed and gathered her dignity, "I'll just be excusing myself and going back to my office for lunch." As soon as she had said the words the buzzing noise coming from her bracelet wrapped around her wrist stopped. Hannah laughed and Lily exited calmly as she desperately controlled her inner fury. This lasted about five seconds- up until she had reached her office.
"What the," she exclaimed in shock as her eyes scanned the place. Her office was meticulous and everything was in an easy to reach place. Her eyes narrowed as she began to comprehend the damage Mister Potter had done. "I can't believe it!" she fumed. "He was here, walking in my office, sitting at my desk, touching my things." Her voice grew shrill as she examined the desk with the neat row of photographs glinting in the sunlight. "Hannah!" she shrieked.
"What, what is it?" despite Hannah's earlier traitor characteristics, she still cared about Lily's health- she was god at what she did!
"Will you look at this?" Lily demanded as she held up a shiny gold frame. Inside a moving picture of a gorgeous man with blond hair and gray eyes waved cheekily. His smug grin got under Lily's nerves. "Look at it!"
"I don't see the problem," Hannah said but…, "Oh, oh." she groaned. "He didn't!"
"He did," said Lily darkly. James had entered the room behind Hannah. "How do you explain this, young man?"
"First of all," James said drawing his eyebrows together. "I happen to be older than you Carrot tops." Lily steamed some more. "And second of all, I don't see what is wrong in cleaning of spilled ink!"
"That wasn't just spilled ink, Pothead," Lily hissed , resorting to her school day name for him, "that ink was purposely supposed to be there!" She threw a disgusted look at the man in the picture who was being visited by Geraldine Forgewright- a talent agent whose picture was downstairs. There were getting it on while doing the tango.
"Um," said James uncomfortably, "do you mind if I ask why?"
"Yes!" Lily snapped. "And I mind that you turned a perfectly good office into this- this- this trash hole!"
"Hey," defended James. "I'm thinking you're stretching 'perfectly good' and 'trash hole'."
"Well I don't think I am since it is my office," retorted Lily. "Are all the Potters prats or is it just you?"
"You would have known if you'd just agreed to meet my parents at graduation, Lily," James sighed deeply but the twinkle in his eye betrayed his resignation.
"Oh, please, you probably would have made me look like a fool."
"Well thank you Miss Cynicism, and for your information, Lily Evans," James said virtuously, "I was a poor sap back then who happened to be laboring under the delusion that I actually liked you. Thank god it turned out I didn't but at the time I would have avoided making you look bad in any way."
"Then what was that about making fun of me in you speech?" accused Lily. Her mind hadn't absorbed the fact that James had said he'd liked her.
"You made fun of me in yours."
"Oh…yeah," Lily paused for a minute absentmindedly. Meanwhile Hannah watched the whole display rotating between amusement and disappointment. Dating James Potter might have been fun but Lily was obviously in love with him.
"I know precisely what you are thinking, Hannah," Lily said suddenly a few moments later. "and I am not in love with him." Hannah blinked in startle-ment. How did Lily know what she was thinking?
"I know all," Lily added with smug tones looking into Hannah's face.
"In love with who?" James asked with curiosity. Obviously he couldn't read minds like Lily "could".
"Either you or Michael and whichever one she's thinking about it is not going to happen." Lily stopped as abruptly as she'd started before swinging back to James. "Did you really have a crush on me in seventh year?"
"Damn, I knew I shouldn't have mentioned anything!" cursed James. "Yes, your almighty graciousness, I did. And in sixth year too. Am I missing anything? Nope, every year before and since I've disliked you immensely."
"You didn't even know me before you were eleven," Lily accused.
"I still hated you because I am special."
-Yeah, you're special alright- Hannah thought again before mentally slapping herself. -Stop it, that's Lily's guy-
"Potter," Lily said abruptly, "come with me."
"Why?" asked James. "I'm long past that 'I'll follow you anywhere' stage in my life. I believe I just told you that."
"Stop being a pig, James, you're treating me to lunch."
-Wow- Hannah thought as a bewildered James followed Lily out of the office -Lily sure works fast!-
*END PART ONE*