Author's Note: I've updated everything like crazy except for my Professor Trelawny story (which is incredibly childish and I'm wondering whether or not I should let go…) Anyway, no "get back to Reunions" reviews because I just added TWO WHOLE CHAPTERS (in which plenty of things occur) so hah! And this is almost done anyway.

Also: While describing the price I used a symbol of which I do not even know what it means. It was the closest on to pounds that I could find (trust me, after ten minutes of punching numbers in your keyboard, you're ready to give up too) and the place I usually go for help on such things (Lissa Explains it all…) wasn't working for some reason. Therefore, sorry about the wrong symbol.

Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling and I don't claim to own any of it besides what was previously mentioned in Part One. The Brown Bag is a restaurant that I went to in Rockland, ME so therefore it does not belong to me either. Felicity is Michael's weirdo girlfriend (& James' ex) but she belongs to me too.

Ridiculous

By: the Bumbling Firefly

James wandered after Lily and through the departments cafeteria before they entered the sunny outdoors. He was immensely relieved because he was convinced Hannah's eyes had been following him and it gave him and itchy feeling at the back of his neck. It was probably left over from his 'not-so-secret-now' former job at the Unspeakables department.

"So Lily," he started after the silence had gotten too heavy to bare alone. "Why are we going out here again? Weren't you supposed to Apperate only?"

"I'm not going to do everything that loony Mrs. Hayfield told me too," Lily said defiantly. "We're going out here because you are going to buy me a decent lunch. Living of soup for a week isn't exactly doing much for my taste buds. And besides, I want to be able to tease you in a more public place then my office. Did you really have a crush on me?"

"I will never live this down will I?" James asked a little hopefully.

"Never."

"Damn. Well yes, I did, and we've been over this before." James turned his head away before she detected the slight blush. "And I know living off soup for a week isn't very nice for the taste buds because I had to do it for two months before I was allowed to work again." He looked in disgust at the pallor of his skin. It's wasn't actually very white- more of a light tan- but James did not like it one bit.

"What happened?" asked Lily with slight concern in her voice. Now that she thought about, James was looking a little too thin for her tastes. Had he really been ill recently?

"Oh just business," James said a little angrily. "I was so close to getting them but my partner messed up and then *snap*, I was ambushed. This was actually the first time I've worked since the accident. And now I'm useless to the agency." He sounded a little depressed and despite herself, Lily felt a twinge of concern. She dismissed it as too wild for even her~ especially if Hannah heard of it. It wouldn't due to let Hannah know she was right- she'd be far too smug.

"James," Lily startled James out of his pity-fest. "You're making yourself sick and I'm not cleaning up after you if you get sick. And if you get sick than I'll probably get sick and then it will be one helluva sick party. Maybe I could invite Mrs. Hayfield to spook the living daylights out of you by putting you on a timer. Now look, there's The Brown Bag and I've been wanting to try the place out for a while. Hannah recommended it to me a little ways back . So mop up you tears and take out your wallet because you are buying my friend." She dragged him to the door.

"Excuse me?" James asked. "I believe you are buying because I believe it was you who took me here."

"Gentlemen always treat the ladies and go easy on the italics," Lily reprimanded.

"You aren't so light on the italics yourself and this is the age of female empowerment. So I believe it is you who is buying lunch."

"I'll buy you one of those giant gingerbread cookies, James Potter, if you will pay for lunch. And don't go all mopey on me there Pothead. I don't know how your favorite cookie reminds you of your former job but it is just as well you quit because only natural disasters and myself are allowed to pick on you."

"And vice versa," James retorted. The bell jingled as they entered the small restaurant. "How did you know that gingerbread was my favorite cookie?"

"Oh lord," Lily rolled her eyes. "If you only knew how many odorless, tasteless potions I slipped into your special stack of cookies at Hogwarts."

"So that's how you did it," said James with the air of a much enlightened man. "I'd always wondered…"

"Well, it's just as well that you were stupid," Lily said with a cheerful grin. "So what do you want? I'm leaning towards the club sandwich myself."

"Jeez, go gentle on you stomach brutal Evans," James said with a grin.

"What do you want me to eat, applesauce?" demanded Lily.

"Well, I was just noticing how that happened to be the most expensive thing on the menu happened to be that."

"Oh, yeah," admitted Lily sheepishly. "That might have played a roll in my choosing. But I'm sure your pocket won't burst from the terrific price of four knuts and two sickles."

"Yeah, I'm sure it won't," James agreed while fishing through his pockets for his coins.

"Well, I'm not going to buy it anyway," Lily reassured him while examining the menu again. "I think I'm going to have a cup of soup and some toast." James looked up as he pulled out a pouch of coins.

"Excuse me?" he asked in disbelief. "Isn't the whole reason for this outing so you don't have to eat soup?"

"Maybe," admitted Lily cautiously, "but I still want to tease you. Besides, you've never tasted Mrs. Hayfield's soup, you lucky boy."

"Oh, yes, so fortunate am I," James said sarcastically.

"I swear to god, James, if you start thinking about your bad ending as an Unspeakable one more time I'm going to smack you upside the head! Now normally I'm not an abusive or violent person so I'd like to preserve my reputation in this wonderful establishment. SO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT."

" 'Normally' you're not a 'violent or abusive person'?" James asked in disbelief. "Who are you kidding? I was half killed after you mauled me in the halls because you found me so irresistible."

"First of all," Lily said with great dignity (rather pleased that she'd gotten James' mind off of his old job), "I did not find you irresistible as you seem to believe. And second of all, I only mauled you in the halls after something unusual happened to me and I afterwards received a courtesy not signed 'Got you again. Better luck next time! Love, James'. Those were unusual circumstances and I quite think you deserved a mauling."

"Fine, I concede to your argument," James said gallantly. "Now what do you want with your soup and toast?" They had reached the counter {after receiving several odd looks from fellow customers} and James had already ordered his grilled cheese and root beer.

"I suppose just water is fine," Lily said scanning around the roomful of witches and wizards.

"Okay," James answered handing the coins to the cashier. He continued subtly flirting with the manager until their food was ready.

"James," Lily warned as they sat down at a recently emptied booth, "you're embarrassing me and you know what will happen to you if I get too embarrassed."

"Why are you embarrassed? Because you're out with a devilishly handsome man (if I do say so myself) and he isn't paying a bit of attention to you? I didn't know you cared."

"No," said Lily smoothly, "because you are flirting with a sixty year old witch."

"Aw, Lily," sighed James. "No need to get jealous."

"I can almost remember why I despised you in the first place you egotistical little pumpkin-"

"Food's here," James exclaimed overriding the rest of Lily's insults. "And I know you don't mean what you say because you love me." Lily steamed and wondered why she had made this guy buy her lunch in the first place. Oh yeah, free meal but still~ she was buying him a gingerbread cookie. Why did she still remember his favorite cookie after all this time anyway? It had almost been ten years! Well, actually only eight but almost ten. Was her subconscious trying to tell her something? -God, I hope not!- Lily thought.

"Lily," James interrupted. "After all this banter about food, you're not even eating your lunch."

"Um, yeah," Lily stirred her soup before bringing up a spoonful to blow on it. James was about to take a nice big bite into his cheesy sandwich when he spotted a couple waiting in line.

"Oh shit," he sighed. Lily's spoon clattered into the bowl as she stared at the couple too.

"Michael," she breathed.

"Felicity," James said at the same time. "Wait- is that the guy that was in your picture frame?"

"Yeah," Lily mumbled hiding her head in her hands. "Oh please don't let them see me!"

"What are you worried for?" James asked. "He's dating a complete psycho. It took me almost a year to get rid of her."

"You dated her?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"What, it's a surprise?" James questioned. "Yeah, I dated the bitch-"

"James," Lily said a little horrified. "Since when have you sworn like that?"

"Nevermind," James shook his head. "So did the guy dump you for her?" Lily blushed and nodded. "Well, first of all, he's an idiot, and second of all," James grinned mischievously, "I know exactly how to save your dignity."

"How?" asked Lily honestly curious.

"Do you trust me?" asked James and his grin grew even wider. Oh, the possibilities!

End Part Two

Author's Note: Sorry about the whole lunch thing but I was feeling quite hungry at the time and my dad was not sharing any of his cashews. NOOO, he just sat there smirking at me as he ate almost the whole can. Why am I the one that gets the immature dad?