Disclaimer: I don't own Yahoo, I just make fun of it. I also don't own any
parts of songs that I mangled in this part, including songs from Annie and
Phantom of the Opera.
Author's Note: This part is dedicated to Rae the Hyper Purple Girl
Quork, The Ex-Happy Plumber Guy: The Saga Continues
The room was very white. But that didn't faze Quork too much. After all, maybe these Yahoo people needed to be clean.
A woman walked up to him.
"Are you Courtney?" Quork asked.
She gave him a puzzled expression. "No, I'm Rutabega."
"Where's Courtney?"
"Who's Courtney?"
"Where is she?"
"Where is who?"
"Courtney!"
"I know that! Who's Courtney?"
"You fired Courtney?"
"Who's Courtney?!"
"You fired the phone lady!"
"Oh! No, sir, she only works on phones. My name is Rutabega, and I'll be helping you find where you need to go in Yahoo! Corporation Headquarters!" There was that sickeningly sweet voice like the one he had heard over the phone.
Quork smiled happily. "I am a plumber," he announce proudly.
Rutabega nodded pleasantly. "That's great! We need a plumber."
Quork smiled happily. "Where do I start?"
Rutabega nodded pleasantly. "I'll show you soon enough."
Quork smiled happily. "Okay."
"Great, if you'll just wait here for a few minutes, I'll just go arrange a few things." Rutabega turned to go. Her pleasant nodding turned to a look of pure evil.
Half an hour later, Quork was still smiling happily and looking around the clean white room. He wondered when he would get to work on the plumbing systems. He smiled happily. They sounded like they needed work.
"QUORK!"
He smiled happily at the loud voice that had boomed out of nowhere. "Yes?"
"QUORK!"
"Yes?"
"QUORK!"
"What?"
"QUORK!"
Quork looked around nervously. "Who...where are you?"
"I AM EVERYWHERE!"
"But that isn't possible!"
"IT IS FOR ME YOU IDIOT! I MEAN, OF COURSE I CAN BE EVERYWHERE!!!"
"Oh. Okay," was all Quork said.
The voice began to sound slightly exasperated. "AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK WHAT I WANT WITH YOU?"
"What do you want with me?" Quork repeated dutifully.
"I WANT TO EAT YOU!!!!"
"But you're just a voice! How can you eat me?" Quork asked, a confuzzled expression on his face.
"I JUST CAN, OKAY? STOP MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT!"
"Okay!" Quork said cheerfully. "Go ahead and eat me!"
"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"
"Do what?"
"WANT TO BE EATEN!"
"Why not?"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CRY AND BEG NOT TO BE EATEN! YOU'RE GOING TO A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE PLACE!!"
"But I don't know that!" Quork told the voice.
"I JUST TOLD YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO BE TRAPPED IN YAHOO FOREVER!!!"
The implications of this were starting to sink in to Quork's little brain. How was he going to fall in love if he was trapped in Yahoo! Corporation Headquarters forever? "Please, Mr. Voice, don't trap me in Yahoo forever!"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *COUGH COUGH COUGH* AHEM. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!!!"
"But...but..."
"NO BUTS!! NOW PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!"
Quork looked around, now thoroughly terrified. "Don't go, Mr. Voice!"
"WHY NOT?"
"Because...I want you to stay!"
"REALLY? YOU DO? I MEAN, I CAN'T STAY! YOU HAVE TO MEET YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!"
"But...but I'm scared!"
"THAT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME!!"
"Are you really just a voice?" Quork asked. "A cold-hearted voice."
The voice suddenly burst into tears. "VOICES HAVE FEELINGS TOO, YOU KNOW!"
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Voice, I didn't mean-"
"NO ONE EVER MEANS TOO! NOBODY LIKES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME, GUESS I'LL GO EAT WORMS! FIRST ONE WAS SLIMEY, SECOND ONE WAS GRIMY, THIRD AND FOURTH CAME UP!"
Quork was slightly nauseated by this, but said, "Maybe if you told somebody your problems..."
"WOULD YOU LISTEN? NOOOOBODY KNOOOOOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEEEEN! NOOOOBODY KNOOOOOWS MY SORROWS!"
"I'll listen, I'll listen!" Quork said quickly, trying to stave off any more songs.
"WELL, ONCE UPON A TIME, I WAS JUST A YOUNG VOICE, DOING THE THINGS THAT YOUNG VOICES DO, LIKE SCARING PEOPLE AT HAUNTED HOUSES OR MAKING UNTRACEABLE PRANK PHONE CALLS-"
"It sounds like you had a wild-"
"DON'T INTERRUPT ME! WHO'S TELLING THE STORY HERE, ME OR YOU?"
"Go on!" Quork said.
"AS I WAS SAYING, I WAS JUST A YOUNG VOICE, WHEN ONE DAY, YAHOO CAME AND ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO BE THEIR VOICE! IT SOUNDED LIKE THE PERFECT THING TO BE! YELL AT PEOPLE OVER A LOUDSPEAKER AND SCARE THEM OUT OF THEIR MINDS AND TELL THEM TO GO TO THEIR DOOOOOOM!"
"It sounds like fun, I guess."
"IT ISN'T! SOME OF THE PEOPLE CRY AND BEG AND ONE TIME, SOMEONE JUST KEPT SINGING! I'VE GOT A LOVERLY BUNCH OF COCONUTS, DOBUHDEEDOO, HERE THEY ARE STANDING IN A ROOOOOOOW! BIG ONES SMALL ONES EVEN THE LITTLE GREEN ONES!-"
"I get the point, I get the point! It sounds like an awful life!"
"IT IS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE, FOR ME! IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE, FOR ME! NEVER GET TO GO OUTSIDE! JUST GET TO SCARE PEOPLE INSIDE! IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!!!"
Visions of little orphans danced through Quorks head, but he shook them out and said, "It sounds awful!"
"IT WAS, BUT YOU DON'T REALLY CARE!"
"Yes, I do care! Really, I do!"
"NO YOU DON'T! NOBODY CARES! WELL, YOU JUST WAIT! YOU'LL SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE TRAPPED INSIDE AN EVIL CORPORATION!"
"No, but Voice!"
"NO BUTS! DOWN YOU GO TO THE DUNGEONS OF THE BLACKEST NIGHT, LEAVE ALL THOUGHTS OF THE WORLD YOU KNEW BEFORE!!! IN THE DARKNESS LET YAHOO NOT LET YOU BE FREE!!! ONLY THEN CAN YOU BELONG TO MEEEEEEEEEE!"
The floor opened and Quork was swallowed up.
To Be Continued...
Author's Note: This part is dedicated to Rae the Hyper Purple Girl
Quork, The Ex-Happy Plumber Guy: The Saga Continues
The room was very white. But that didn't faze Quork too much. After all, maybe these Yahoo people needed to be clean.
A woman walked up to him.
"Are you Courtney?" Quork asked.
She gave him a puzzled expression. "No, I'm Rutabega."
"Where's Courtney?"
"Who's Courtney?"
"Where is she?"
"Where is who?"
"Courtney!"
"I know that! Who's Courtney?"
"You fired Courtney?"
"Who's Courtney?!"
"You fired the phone lady!"
"Oh! No, sir, she only works on phones. My name is Rutabega, and I'll be helping you find where you need to go in Yahoo! Corporation Headquarters!" There was that sickeningly sweet voice like the one he had heard over the phone.
Quork smiled happily. "I am a plumber," he announce proudly.
Rutabega nodded pleasantly. "That's great! We need a plumber."
Quork smiled happily. "Where do I start?"
Rutabega nodded pleasantly. "I'll show you soon enough."
Quork smiled happily. "Okay."
"Great, if you'll just wait here for a few minutes, I'll just go arrange a few things." Rutabega turned to go. Her pleasant nodding turned to a look of pure evil.
Half an hour later, Quork was still smiling happily and looking around the clean white room. He wondered when he would get to work on the plumbing systems. He smiled happily. They sounded like they needed work.
"QUORK!"
He smiled happily at the loud voice that had boomed out of nowhere. "Yes?"
"QUORK!"
"Yes?"
"QUORK!"
"What?"
"QUORK!"
Quork looked around nervously. "Who...where are you?"
"I AM EVERYWHERE!"
"But that isn't possible!"
"IT IS FOR ME YOU IDIOT! I MEAN, OF COURSE I CAN BE EVERYWHERE!!!"
"Oh. Okay," was all Quork said.
The voice began to sound slightly exasperated. "AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK WHAT I WANT WITH YOU?"
"What do you want with me?" Quork repeated dutifully.
"I WANT TO EAT YOU!!!!"
"But you're just a voice! How can you eat me?" Quork asked, a confuzzled expression on his face.
"I JUST CAN, OKAY? STOP MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT!"
"Okay!" Quork said cheerfully. "Go ahead and eat me!"
"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"
"Do what?"
"WANT TO BE EATEN!"
"Why not?"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CRY AND BEG NOT TO BE EATEN! YOU'RE GOING TO A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE PLACE!!"
"But I don't know that!" Quork told the voice.
"I JUST TOLD YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO BE TRAPPED IN YAHOO FOREVER!!!"
The implications of this were starting to sink in to Quork's little brain. How was he going to fall in love if he was trapped in Yahoo! Corporation Headquarters forever? "Please, Mr. Voice, don't trap me in Yahoo forever!"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *COUGH COUGH COUGH* AHEM. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!!!"
"But...but..."
"NO BUTS!! NOW PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!"
Quork looked around, now thoroughly terrified. "Don't go, Mr. Voice!"
"WHY NOT?"
"Because...I want you to stay!"
"REALLY? YOU DO? I MEAN, I CAN'T STAY! YOU HAVE TO MEET YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!"
"But...but I'm scared!"
"THAT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME!!"
"Are you really just a voice?" Quork asked. "A cold-hearted voice."
The voice suddenly burst into tears. "VOICES HAVE FEELINGS TOO, YOU KNOW!"
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Voice, I didn't mean-"
"NO ONE EVER MEANS TOO! NOBODY LIKES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME, GUESS I'LL GO EAT WORMS! FIRST ONE WAS SLIMEY, SECOND ONE WAS GRIMY, THIRD AND FOURTH CAME UP!"
Quork was slightly nauseated by this, but said, "Maybe if you told somebody your problems..."
"WOULD YOU LISTEN? NOOOOBODY KNOOOOOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEEEEN! NOOOOBODY KNOOOOOWS MY SORROWS!"
"I'll listen, I'll listen!" Quork said quickly, trying to stave off any more songs.
"WELL, ONCE UPON A TIME, I WAS JUST A YOUNG VOICE, DOING THE THINGS THAT YOUNG VOICES DO, LIKE SCARING PEOPLE AT HAUNTED HOUSES OR MAKING UNTRACEABLE PRANK PHONE CALLS-"
"It sounds like you had a wild-"
"DON'T INTERRUPT ME! WHO'S TELLING THE STORY HERE, ME OR YOU?"
"Go on!" Quork said.
"AS I WAS SAYING, I WAS JUST A YOUNG VOICE, WHEN ONE DAY, YAHOO CAME AND ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO BE THEIR VOICE! IT SOUNDED LIKE THE PERFECT THING TO BE! YELL AT PEOPLE OVER A LOUDSPEAKER AND SCARE THEM OUT OF THEIR MINDS AND TELL THEM TO GO TO THEIR DOOOOOOM!"
"It sounds like fun, I guess."
"IT ISN'T! SOME OF THE PEOPLE CRY AND BEG AND ONE TIME, SOMEONE JUST KEPT SINGING! I'VE GOT A LOVERLY BUNCH OF COCONUTS, DOBUHDEEDOO, HERE THEY ARE STANDING IN A ROOOOOOOW! BIG ONES SMALL ONES EVEN THE LITTLE GREEN ONES!-"
"I get the point, I get the point! It sounds like an awful life!"
"IT IS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE, FOR ME! IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE, FOR ME! NEVER GET TO GO OUTSIDE! JUST GET TO SCARE PEOPLE INSIDE! IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!!!"
Visions of little orphans danced through Quorks head, but he shook them out and said, "It sounds awful!"
"IT WAS, BUT YOU DON'T REALLY CARE!"
"Yes, I do care! Really, I do!"
"NO YOU DON'T! NOBODY CARES! WELL, YOU JUST WAIT! YOU'LL SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE TRAPPED INSIDE AN EVIL CORPORATION!"
"No, but Voice!"
"NO BUTS! DOWN YOU GO TO THE DUNGEONS OF THE BLACKEST NIGHT, LEAVE ALL THOUGHTS OF THE WORLD YOU KNEW BEFORE!!! IN THE DARKNESS LET YAHOO NOT LET YOU BE FREE!!! ONLY THEN CAN YOU BELONG TO MEEEEEEEEEE!"
The floor opened and Quork was swallowed up.
To Be Continued...