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LACRIMA AMARE - Chapter 4
The phone rang. Jondy lifted it off its cradle, put it to her ear as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. Krit watched her from the sofa, muting the television.
"Hello?" she asked. "Syl?" His brows raised in surprise at this; she hadn't mentioned what he'd said about Syl calling once before this, and he'd been beginning to think that she hadn't heard him. However, he was learning that this Jondy was impossible to predict. A moment later her eyes suddenly darkened and he slowly rose to his feet.
"Who is-" he began, but before he could finish she had slammed the phone down and stalked from the room. "Not Syl?" he asked, following her. She shrugged, rifled through the fridge, then slammed the door shut and hoisted herself up onto the counter, grinning at him. She was wearing pajamas; he hadn't seen her clothed in three days and he didn't think that was a very good sign. The phone rang again and Jondy's blue eyes narrowed in anger.
"Why don't you let me get that?" he asked her, quickly, heading for the phone before she could stop him. He picked it up.
"Hel-" he began but before he could finish the greeting, in one fluid motion Jondy jumped off the counter, grabbed the phone from his hand, slammed it down, and grinned at him wildly.
"Let's go on a trip," she said.
"Jondy." He tried to settle her down with a calm voice. She just stared at him. He sighed.
"A trip," he repeated.
"Yeah, a road trip. I've never been on one. Come on, it'll be fun." She grabbed his hand.
"Wait, we have to pay the rent, Jondy, and Syl's supposed to call..." He trailed off, looked at her; her face looked absolutely crushed. "Jondy-"
"No, it's fine," she cut him off, letting go of him roughly and crossing her arms over her chest.
"Jondy-" He touched her arm but she jerked away.
"No," she growled. "If you don't want to spend time with me then don't. I'm not going to beg."
"Jondy-"
"No!" she yelled, then turned away. "Get the hell off me."
"Goddammit, Jondy!" he exclaimed suddenly; she grinned at him. Krit ran a hand through his hair, calmed himself. This is what she wanted, he reminded himself; she wanted him to yell. He wasn't going to give in to that. He took a breath and opened his mouth to say something, but the phone rang again. This time he beat her to it, grabbing it off the cradle and moving out of her reach. Her eyes darkened dangerously as he did so.
"Hello?" he asked, turning away from her glare.
"Krit?" The voice was rough with anger and full of shocked surprise.
"Oh..." He winced. "Zack..." There was a short exhale on the end of the line.
"Hi," Zack said heavily. "How are you?"
"Fine," he answered, surprised at his calmness.
"Hang it up," Jondy ground out. "I don't want to hear his voice."
"How is she?" he asked. Krit watched Jondy glare at him and frowned.
"She's... different."
"Different?" Zack asked as Jondy stalked out of Krit's line of vision. He ran a hand through his hair again.
"Yeah," he said in a lowered voice. "Zack, you have no idea what you've done here."
"Hang it up, Krit," Jondy's voice came. He ignored her.
"What do you mean?" Zack asked slowly, hesitantly.
"She's-"
"Krit, hang it up."
"Just a second," he said to Zack, putting a hand over the receiver. He turned to her angrily and opened his mouth to tell her to stop annoying him.
Jondy was standing across the room, a knife in her hand. He saw the wild glint in her eyes that he had grown to dread over the past couple of weeks. Her short hair was sticking up everywhere.
"Hang it up, Krit," Jondy repeated. She held the knife calmly against her wrist.
"Or what? You'll kill yourself?" He was angry now.
"What's going on?" Zack's voice was slightly concerned.
"That's right," Jondy answered Krit flatly. "I don't want to hear his voice. I don't want to hear him unless he's standing here in front of me so I can-" She raised to knife, clutched the handle, stabbing it downward. Her eyes shone with tears but he had a feeling she didn't know she was crying.
"Krit, what the hell is going on?" Zack's voice was now slightly panicked.
"I'll have to call you back," he said quickly. Without waiting for an answer, he slammed the phone down. "Jondy, I have had about enough of this. Now listen to-" She grinned at his raised voice, then brought the knife down, sliding it across her arm. Bright red blood seeped out of the cut and slid down toward her elbow.
"Jondy!" Panicked, he tried to grab the knife, but she danced out of his grasp and brought it down again. Her blood splattered onto the white floor; she wasn't smiling anymore. Krit ran at her, surprising her by tackling her to the ground, grabbing her hands and holding her wrists together, knocking the knife from her grasp in the process. He stared down at her wide blue eyes. "Snap out of it, dammit!" he yelled.
"Get the hell off me!" she yelled back, and suddenly spit at him through the two inches separating their faces. He stared down at her, shocked, as the saliva ran down his cheek; then suddenly his fist was raising against her. He started to bring it down hard on her cheek, but in the instant before he struck her he saw her close her eyes, and an almost peaceful, glad expression came over her features. Krit frowned at this and his hand slapped down on the cold linoleum floor instead. Jondy's eyes flew open, filled with disappointment. The glint was gone.
That's what she had wanted all along: not just to get a rise out of him, not just to make him yell, but she had wanted him to really hurt her- physically. Why?
"Jondy," he breathed as she stared up at him, tears forming in her wide blue eyes. "Jondy." He raised himself off her and sat back against the kitchen counter, dropping his head into his hands. She slowly rose as well, and fell back across from him, hugging her knees to her chin. They sat there for several seconds, but finally he couldn't stand it anymore and reached out, touching her shoulder. She twisted away from him.
"Stop being nice to me!" she yelled. "Stop it!" He sighed, dropped his hand. There was another long silence.
"What do you want for dinner?" he asked finally, softly.
"Nothing," she bit out.
"Nothing," he repeated flatly. Her face softened; she got a far-off look in her eyes.
"Yeah." The glint was slowly coming back; the tears he could see had stopped. "I'm going to stop eating for a few days." He stifled a sigh.
"Okay... Why?"
"I don't know. I thought it would be a change. I can test these perfect bodies of ours." Her voice dripped with sarcasm.
"That reminds me, have you taken your tryptophan today?" he asked. There was a pause.
"You did that on purpose," she answered flatly.
"What?"
"Nothing. Order us some Chinese food."
"We're out of money."
"Then let's make a chocolate cake." She grinned. "We can eat it with our hands."
"Jondy, I'm going to have to get a job." He eyed the knife lying a few feet away, the blood still seeping from the cut on her arm. "Will you be okay if I leave you alone all day?"
"I can work, too." Soft. "Once Syl calls. Once..." She cleared her throat. "You'll be able to leave then." He leaned over suddenly, put his hands firmly on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
"Is it me?" he asked softly, painfully. "Is it my fault you're not getting better, Jondy? I'm trying to help, but I know I'm not good at this. I know-" She laid a hand on his arm, stopping him.
"Yes," she said solemnly. "Yes, it's you." Then she laughed, loud and wild and unnerving as usual.
"Jondy-" he began, but she rolled her eyes at him and put a finger against his lips.
"You worry too much, baby brother." He almost reminded her once again that he was older than she was, but then just sighed instead. He watched her turn away and frowned at how she was examining the cut she'd made on her arm, with deep fascination and that glint again.
He swallowed hard. I worry for a reason.