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LACRIMA AMARE - Chapter 7
"Rise and shine, little brother, time to move out," Syl called cheerfully at five am the next morning. Zane groaned and pulled the covers over his head.
"Give me five minutes," he said, his words vague with sleep and muffled by the blankets. Syl smirked at him and walked over to the bed, hauling them off and onto the floor. Zane shot up, his eyes wide with indignation and annoyance.
"It's five in the morning," he complained as he staggered out of bed toward the washroom. "No living person should have to see the world at this hour."
"I'm surprised you can even sleep," she remarked through the open door as he splashed water on his face. She collapsed backward onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. "Aren't you excited?" He glanced over at her, hesitated.
"Of course. It's just... a lot."
"Yeah." She sat up slowly. "Zane?"
"What?"
"Are you mad at Zack?"
"Of course," he answered immediately, his voice matter-of-fact. "Aren't you?" Syl nodded, laid back down on the bed.
"Yes," she said as he switched the washroom light off and joined her in the main part of the small hotel room. He laid beside her on her twin bed, staring up at the ceiling as she was. Their legs hung over the end, their breath coming slow and in unison. He smiled.
"I'm glad you found me."
"So am I."
"And not just because of Jondy." He turned to her as she did the same; their eyes met and he smiled again. "I haven't seen you in a while, Syl. It's nice."
"Yeah," she said. "It is." They turned back to staring at the ceiling. They sat in silence for several moments.
"I still love him, though," Zane said suddenly.
"Oh, of course."
"I just wish he wasn't so..."
"Protective?"
"Interfering."
"He doesn't understand," she said.
"No," he agreed.
"It's too bad."
"Yes," he answered. Syl glanced sideways at the clock.
"We should get moving. Zane turned his head into her shoulder and groaned.
"I'm so tired," he complained; Syl giggled and touched his soft red hair.
"If we leave right now we can pick up fast food for breakfast," she said, wrinkling her nose at the thought even as she promised it. Zane lifted his head, grinned at her with sparkling dark eyes.
"Really?"
"Sure, why not." She smiled. "So the car will stink. So we'll get sick. Who cares?"
"It's a stolen car after all," he said as they both stood and gathered their things. "And we get sick so seldom it might be fun." They shared another comfortable smile and Syl rolled her eyes.
"Ugh, I think I'm going to regret this already," she said as they headed out to the SUV she'd picked up in Missouri.
"Can't go back on your word now," he said, smiling at her cheerfully.
"I know."
"What about Krit?" he asked as they slid into the car, buckling their seatbelts. Syl started the engine and paused.
"What about him?"
"Are you two still a thing?"
"We weren't for a long time," she said. "But the mission I was telling you about, when he almost-" She broke off, shrugged. "Anyway, I'm not sure. Maybe it's coming back. Maybe I'll just always care about him like that a little bit."
"Why did it end?" Zane asked. She pulled the car out and headed for the interstate.
"I don't know," she admitted. "A lot of reasons, I guess. I'm not even sure quite why it started, or when." She smiled. "To do with my heat, though, that's for sure." She heard Zane's soft laugh next to her and continued, "But it ended well, if that's what you're wondering." He shrugged and Syl glanced at him. "What about you and Jondy? You're an item, right?"
"Maybe," he said. "I don't know. We sort of were, before Zack came. We never said anything, though." He let out a long sigh. "It's going to be different now. I've been given a second chance here. I'm not going to waste it." Syl laughed slightly in spite of herself.
"A second chance from who?"
"I don't know," he said. "Someone." She glanced over at him as a thought suddenly hit her.
"You know Ben is dead, Zane, don't you?"
"Of course," he answered after a moment. "Anyway, that's not what I meant. I don't believe in her anymore." He hesitated.
"Maybe we never did," she agreed, reading his thought. He smiled as she pulled into a fast food drive-through, glad to be able to change the subject. "What should we get?"
"When Krit called me back last night he said he had to talk to us before we saw Jondy," Syl told Zane once she had her bagel and cream cheese and he his greasy french fries and hashbrown.
"About what?" he asked worriedly as she put the car in gear and pulled away from the drive-through window, one hand on the steering wheel and eating with the other. She frowned.
"I don't know, but he sounded tense. He said he didn't want to talk about it over the phone but that he had to tell us some things before we saw her."
"God," Zane said, his appetite suddenly gone. "That sounds awful. I hope she's all right."
"I'm sure she's fine," Syl said gently. "Eat. We won't be there for a few hours, so there's no point in worrying right now."
"Yeah." Zane nodded, put a couple of fries in his mouth. "Yeah." They hung in his mouth, not tasting like anything. He couldn't swallow them. Syl's hand was soft, comforting against his cheek.
"It's going to be fine."
"Okay," he said. "Sure. Right." He did not sound convinced; she gazed at him sadly.
"She's alive, right? That's what counts." She forced the worry out of her face and smiled. "How bad could it be?"
"You're leaving me?" Jondy's voice was choked with tears. She wouldn't
let him touch her.
"No, I'm not leaving you. I have to work, we need the money." He tried to keep his voice light, soothing, gentle. She glared at him.
"But they're coming today."
"I'll be back for that," he said. "Of course I will. They'll be here at noon. They just need me to cover the morning shift. It's four hours." He smiled. "I'll be home at 10:30. That's lots of time."
"Can't you call and say you're sick?"
"It's the first day."
"Please, Krit," she whispered. "I want you to be here. You promised." He gazed at her for a long time, then stifled a sigh, forced a smile.
"Of course," he said. "I'll call in." He went into the kitchen and picked up their phone, dialling the one place that had given him work out of the many he'd applied to. There may have been a worker shortage in Chicago, but not here. Pennsylvania had fared much better in the Pulse than the states east of the Great Lakes.
"Hello?" someone answered, her voice busied.
"Hi, this is Kristopher Perez," he said. "You hired me the other day? I'm supposed to come in to come in for Jimmy this morning."
"Oh," the woman said. "Yeah."
"Well, I can't work today," Krit said. "There's some..." His eyes slid to Jondy. "Some family issues I have to deal with."
"We really need someone to cover that shift," the woman said, her voice edging on annoyance.
"It just came up," he lied. "I'm sorry, but I really can't make it."
"All right," the woman said stiffly. "I'll call our second choice."
"Wait," Krit said. "I still want the job."
"We need someone now and there's another person willing to work," the woman said, angry now. "Either come in today or you've lost it." Krit glanced at Jondy; she was looking at him, the tears in her eyes already fading. He stifled a sigh.
"Okay," he said into the telephone. "Sorry again for the trouble."
"Whatever," the woman said irritably. "Have a nice life."
"You too," Krit answered softly after she hung up on him. He set the phone back on its cradle.
"What's up?" Jondy asked hesitantly. He put on a smile and turned to her.
"It's fine," he said; she looked relieved.
"Good," she said. "Good. Why don't I make us something to eat?"
"Sure," Krit said. "That sounds like a good idea."
"We're out of eggs, so I can't make pancakes," she muttered, going into the kitchen and rifling through the near-empty cupboards. Krit followed her, standing in the doorway. She turned suddenly and put her arms around him.
"Thank you," she said.
"It's going to be okay," he told her, rubbing a hand over her back, then up to the base of her neck. He stroked her soft blonde hair and laid his fingers against the mark that made her his sister. He touched it lightly. "Once they're here."
"Zane loves pancakes," she said into his chest. Krit was momentarily surprised; this was the first time she'd said his name.
"Does he?" was all he could manage.
"Yes." She pulled back. "Too bad I can't make them."
"It's okay. Once I go to work we can get some more food." He flattened his palm against her stomach, smiled. "Get that little baby some nourishment."
"You act like we haven't eaten in days," she laughed, pulling away from his hand because it tickled, smiling at him.
"No, just today," he said. She shrugged.
"I'm not that hungry anyway." She closed the kitchen cupboards, played with one of the knobs for a second. "You lost the job, didn't you?"
"No," he answered quickly. "No, it's okay."
"Don't try to protect me," she said, slightly angry; there was a long silence.
"I worry."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He forced a smile. "That's what brothers are for, right?"
"How should I know?" Her voice was suddenly bitter; she pushed herself away from the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. "There's Zack, always destroying my life, then you, protecting me and keeping me safe, and then Zane, who I've been sleeping with." She looked at him. "Which one of those things is what brothers are for, Krit?" He sighed.
"I don't know, Jondy. It's more complicated than that."
"You've slept with Syl," she said.
"Yeah."
"Is that what sisters are for?" Her voice was laced with cruelty but he managed not to let it get to him. He'd been getting better and better at that over the last few weeks and he hadn't lost his temper with her since the day he'd almost struck her.
"Don't," he said firmly; her features softened and she smiled.
"Sorry." She paused. "I think I'll take a nap. It'll be a few hours until they'll be here."
"Okay."
"What about you?"
"Maybe I'll tidy up."
"You want some help?"
"No, it's okay. Go to sleep," he said. She nodded, walked to the doorway, paused.
"I'm sorry about the job."
"Jobs," he said. "Who needs them?"
"You're a good brother," she told him. "I love you."
"Me too. Goodnight, Jondy," he answered. She smiled.
"It's morning."
"You know what I mean. Sleep."
"Yeah."
"I'll see you later," he said. "I'll be right here."
"Yes," she said. "Okay." She left the room; Krit smiled and ran a hand through his hair, thinking a nap didn't sound like too bad of an idea. He was suddenly very exhausted, but the kitchen was a disgrace, so he grabbed a cloth and started scrubbing.
At 11:30 Syl called.
"We're in Pittsburgh now," she said. "You ready?"
"Yeah. See you in ten."
"Okay."
"Jondy!" Krit called as he pulled on his jacket. "I'm going now!" She came quickly downstairs.
"Okay," she said. "Don't be too long."
"I won't." He looked at her. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Yes," she said, pushing him toward the door. "Don't worry. Go before I change my mind."
"Yeah," he said. "I'll see you soon."
"Be nice to me!" she called after him as he walked toward the car. He turned back, smiled.
"As if there's anything mean to say," he said; she flushed slightly, beamed. It made him happy to see her smile. He climbed into the car, tossed her a wave, and pulled out of the driveway, forcing himself not to worry.
"Syl," he greeted her after he'd parked at the coffee shop three blocks away. She smiled, jumped up from the table, hugged him. When she pulled back he took her chin and leaned down to kiss her, long and sweet and deep.
"I missed you," he said when he'd released her. If she was surprised at his actions, she didn't show it.
"Me too," she said with a smile. Zane rose to his feet behind her and Krit embraced him happily.
"It's good to see you, man," he said softly.
"Yeah, you too," Krit answered. They all sat down together, tense and apprehensive because of the reason for this meeting.
"She's fine," Krit said immediately, and his brother and sister's shoulders relaxed slightly. "How was your drive from Indianapolis?" Zane waved his hand at him in a dismissing manner.
"What's wrong with her?" he asked. Krit hesitated.
"Well?" Syl asked. "What?"
"After you- After she thought you were dead, she became very depressed, Zane," he began. His two siblings swallowed and exchanged a look.
"Okay," Zane said. "I wasn't too happy myself."
"She was... suicidal," Krit added slowly. Syl's eyes widened in disbelief and Zane ran his hands slowly through his red hair.
"Christ," he said. "Suicidal... you mean..."
"How many times?" Syl's voice was tiny. "How many times did she try?"
"I don't know," Krit admitted. "A lot. At least two that I know of." He glanced away. "I had to pry the knife out of her hand the second time. She was trying to punish me."
"For what?"
"Talking to Zack."
"I hate Zack," Syl spat, whacking her hand into her coffee and launching it off the table; it landed on a woman at the table next to theirs. She screamed as the hot liquid splashed against her arm, jumping to her feet. She turned to Syl.
"What the hell was that?" she yelled. Krit saw Syl smirk and frowned as she got to her feet.
"We don't want trouble," he spoke up.
"I do," Syl countered evenly, staring down the woman, who was looking significantly less sure of herself when faced with Syl's smoldering dark eyes. Krit stood up.
"Come on," he said, touching her shoulder. He felt her tense up but she didn't turn on him. He looked at the woman. "I'm really sorry," he said. "It was an accident. She's having a rough time. I'm sorry." The woman looked at Syl and decided it would be a good idea to just let it go.
"That's fine," she said stiffly, sounding disgusted. She threw another glare at Syl as she turned away and Krit could tell that Syl had to stop herself from attacking the woman. Then she sat down.
"Anyway, you don't."
"Don't?"
"Hate Zack," he said. She shrugged.
"No, but if I'd beat that bitch up I would have felt a whole lot better," she growled.
"You spilled coffee on her," Krit protested. Zane was staying quiet, but Syl glared at him.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked. "Have you gone soft?"
"Maybe." He shrugged. A month before that comment would have made him very angry, but after spending a few weeks with Jondy, who was emotionally unpredictable, he had learned to take most things in stride. It was nice to be calm. Syl, meanwhile, was gazing at him thoughtfully.
"You've changed," she noted.
"Yes," he said. "But Zack won't."
"No," Syl agreed.
"No," Zane echoed.
"What else?" Syl asked; Krit looked at her.
"What, suicidal wasn't enough?"
"There's more, I can see it on your face." She narrowed her eyes at him. "What is it?" Krit and Jondy had already decided that she would tell Zane about the baby herself, though he was concerned she wouldn't do it.
"It's something Jondy has to deal with when she's ready," he said.
"Can we go now?"
"Yes," Krit said. "Just don't set her off."
"Set her off?" Syl repeated, confused.
"She's been really good this last week, but before... The littlest thing would break her. She would start crying or laughing- that was worse- for the tiniest reason, and sometimes she was so clingy and then other times she wouldn't let me touch her and-" He broke off, shook his head, ran a hand through his dark hair.
"You're exhausted," Syl noted, touching his hand sympathetically.
"We're out of money. I was supposed to start work today but she wouldn't let me leave. I got fired."
"We'll take care of it," Zane spoke up. "We've got money."
"Good," Krit said. "Good." He stood up. "Anyway, should we go?"
"Yeah," Syl said, leaving some money on the table. "Let's go. Tonight you're going to sleep." He turned, grinned at her.
"With you?" he asked. She faltered and his smile faded.
"Sorry. I-"
"Later," she said, cutting him off. "We'll have lots of time to talk tonight. Let's just get these two love birds reunited." She waved a hand at Zane, who smiled tensely, and they climbed into their respective cars.
Krit braced himself as he entered the small house, but Jondy emerged from the kitchen almost immediately, unhurt.
"You're okay." His voice was full of relief; he'd feared she would have broken down alone with the stress of Zane's impending arrival, but she actually looked quite calm. She smiled.
"Yes," she said. "I'm fine."
"Jondy," Syl said softly, pulling her little sister into her arms, tears in her eyes.
"Don't worry, Syl," Jondy said, smiling over her shoulder. Her smile faded slightly as Zane entered the townhouse behind Syl. They stared at each other, their eyes wide. The two of them stood there for a full minute, and a strange feeling came over Jondy. I'm looking at a ghost.
She regretted the thought as soon as she had it, because immediately she got an image of Zane with chains and a white sheet and as hard as she tried she couldn't stop a loud, wild giggle from escaping her lips. She saw Krit's eyes become slightly panicked and he half-expected the glint he hadn't seen in days to come back now. When it didn't he allowed himself some tentative relief.
"Come on," he said, taking Syl's hand and leading her upstairs. "Let's give them some privacy."
"Okay," she said, tossing a smile to Jondy and patting Zane's arm as she passed. Neither of them noticed their siblings leave the room.
"Jondy," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Zane," she breathed back. They stared at each other, their looks all uncertainty and fear and love and hope, tears gathering in both their eyes. Then Jondy turned and left the room.