Chibi Fique: YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Chibi Sikeeh: Shut up goshdarnit!
Chibi Tiyan: Aw, man...
Kiriska: Heheheheh, hey, it had to pick up again sooner or later!
Mayakashi: Why couldn't it just end?
Kiriska: Fans, Maya, fans!
Akutareru: YAY!
Everyone: We do not own Gundam Wing. However Evil Coffee, Evil Coffee Co., and related coffee products do belong to us, SO THERE!
Note: Everything that happened in Ch.7 never happened, kay? Hehehe.
Evil Coffee 8: Letter to the Makers (COMPLETE!!)
The Gundam Pilots minus Duo were assembled once again in the drawing room of the Winner Mansion. "We seriously need to put a stop to this." Quatre said, stating the obvious. "Tell me again, why we simply can't kill him!" Wufei growled. "That'd be cold-blooded murder!" the blonde exclaimed. "No it wouldn't." Heero stated monotonely. Trowa sighed.
One of the servents came in holding a vaguely familiar metal canister, "Zees was found een zee trash can, sir." he said, holding out the can to Quatre. The arab took the can, somewhat confused, and examined it. He scanned the labels, and his eyes widened. "This is a used canister of Evil Coffee!" he exclaimed, "Thanks Frances!" The servent nodded, bowed and left the room.
"So what? Burn the thing." Wufei snorted. "No, no, look, it has the address and stuff for the company who makes the stuff!" Quatre explained. Wufei raised an eyebrow. "So,...what are you suggesting, do we go blow up the company?" Trowa shook his head. "Of course not, we'll never get to do anything like that as long as Quatre's around." The blonde shot his friend a look.
"Then what are you suggesting we do?" Heero asked. "We can write them a letter, maybe they're not aware of what their coffee does." Quatre answered. "Not aware!? Are you that stupid, Winner? They have warning labels on the thing! Look! It's even worse than it ever was!" Wufei snatched the canister from Quatre. He read the labeling aloud; "Warning: Drinker beware, this coffee will render you completely insane for a matter of hours." "That's sure as hell true." Trowa muttered.
"I still we write them a letter, maybe we can ask them to stop producing the product." Quatre suggested. "Uh-huh, sure." Trowa said, "Like they gonna listen to us." "Hey! We're war heros! They have to listen!" the blonde argued. Heero blinked; "Wheren't you the one who said never to use that to your advantage?" he asked. Quatre flushed, "Well this is important!" "Alright fine, but it's not going to work." Wufei growled.
--------------------
Subject: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Makers of Evil Coffee:
A close friend of mine has been addicted to your product, Evil Coffee, for quite some time now. We do not believe continuing to sell this product is safe for our friend, or the community. We have had one too many adventures that landed in disaster because of your product. Evil Coffee is a threat to the sanity of the universe, we hope you understand that.
Yes, you did give fair warning on the packaging. But the average person does not realize the dangers of this coffee. In addition to that, my friend has a serious problem, the coffee seems to have a permenant affect on him. He continously tries to make us fall victim to your strange drink. This has caused many problems for our colony. You may have heard about some of these incidents.
Vice Forgien Minister Dorlan is a very important part of our life, she helps maintain the peace between colonies and Earth. But, as a result of the coffee, she has been landed in an ayslum for a few months. (Refer to Evil Coffee: Valentine's Special) This is not right. Another time, he poisoned a party of important war-heros. This was a disaster and caused over 5 million in damage.
If you continue to make this product the madness will not stop. Please listen to our plees and at least consider. The santy of the universe lays in your decision. If you do not stop, there are chances your company is in danger from my quite violent friends. Thank you for your time, and I hope you listen.
Sincerely,
Quatre Raberba Winner
--------------------
Quatre sent the letter on it's way. "Why didn't you use email?" Trowa wondered. The blonde blinked. Wufei snorted; "Blondes...weaklings..." Quatre sighed. He hoped it would work...
A week past, during which, Duo got a whole school of children insane by replacing the milk with coffee. That did not look good in the news. Quatre became fusterated and considered sending another letter. Duo was having the time of his life, plotting on who to get next. Wufei, Heero, and Trowa came up with a list of 1001 ways to kill Duo. The blonde arab waited each day for the mail. Then, it came. The letter came with a large package.
--------------------
Subject: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr. Winner:
Thank you for your letter. You have won a free can of Lemonade Flavored Evil Coffee for being the 1st person sane enough to contact us! We have no intension of stopping production of our number one selling product on the black market. The coffee is a perfect weapon, your friend is a very smart person. Miss Relena's incident was very humorous to the staff and we hope your friend does something like that again.
We understand that the sane people of the world will have a problem with this, but we of The Evil Coffee Co. have solemly sworn that we will take over the world with the Evil Coffee Craze. We have gotten much support from fellow psychopaths. Our leading customer so far is one Duo Maxwell. If you a sane person Mr. Winner you should be smart and leave us alone. You will only go insane. Thank you for you time and enjoy your coffee!
Crazily,
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
--------------------
Quatre stared at the letter in disbelief. They're out to take over the world?! This Evil Coffee Company was indeed another threat to the peace they had worked so hard for. But what could they do? Duo was their leading customer? What was he thinking? Was he aware that me was helping an evil organization in it's plans for world domination. A evil, psychotic organization at that?
The company was run by a group of crazy people! What fool wad funding this company?! The blonde called Heero. The Perfect Solider's face appeared on the VisaCommunicator. "What do you want Quatre?" he asked. "Heero, I need you to hack up as much information about The Evil Coffee Co. now!" he commanded. "Why?" the other wondered. "Just do it!" the blonde screamed. "Alright, alright, fine." Heero agreed, surprised at Quatre's behavior.
Quatre sat at his desk, sweat poured from his brow. This was serious. What could they do? Maybe Wufei and the others could just blow up the ECHO and be done with it. The arab sat there thinking for the better of an hour when the phone rang. Heero's face once again appeared.
"Goddamnit, these people know how to set up security! It took me almost the whole hour to break in! Then after that the whole thing was coded. I managed to break the codes, but what I got still doesn't really make sense." Heero said. Quatre blinked, "What do you mean?" His old ally sighed, "I can decode anything, but not riddles. Here, it says: 'Only the insane can solve this, you the sane, are stupid, Coffee are for the psychs, idiots, and bikes! Heehee!' "
Quatre blinked; "Ooooookay.....I don't get it." "Neither do I, but it can be just a false...thing." the other said. "What else did you find?" Heero glanced at something; "Well, that's all for now, I'll have to dig further to find more." "Do it, just try to hurry." Heero nodded and the screen went black.
"Nothing!" Heero cried irritablely, "There is absolutely NOTHING on here! They just put up a database to taunt me! TAUNT ME! I HATE THEM!!" Everyone in the room sweatdropped. "Calm down, Heero." Quatre muttered. "Why can't we just ask Duo?" Trowa wondered. "ARE YOU INSANE!??!" Wufei demanded. "WE DO NOT ASK MAXWELL FOR HELP! IT IS WEAK!!" he screamed. Once again, everyone sweatdropped.
"I'm going to write another letter." Quatre announced.
------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Nekkyou Kouhii,
You are insane, continuation of your plans is futile and stupid. There is no point in it, it is impossible to controll the world this way. No one is stupid enough to follow the insane.
Sincerely,
Quatre R. Winner
---------------------------
Short, sweet, and simple. Their reply?
---------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr.Winner,
Don't make me sick my goat on you. It is rather simple to take over the world with coffee. It becomes addictive you see, and all those addicted will be under our control and get others addicted. One only needs to consume our wonderful product 3 times to become our slave, muwahahahaahah!!!! Ahem. So give up now, mister sane man. Goodbye.
Leave me alone,
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
-------------------------------
Quatre glared at the letter angrilly. A servent walked into the room, "Sir, Mister Maxwell has set the garden on fire,..again." Quatre sighed; "Take the goat outside, that usually calms him down." the rich guy then turned back to write another letter.
-------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Nekkyou Kouhii,
This is stupid. Why do you want to take over the world anyway? Peace is a good thing, everyone is happy this way.
Quatre R. Winner
--------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr.Winner,
You are starting to tire me. Peace is not good, there is no such thing as 'peace'. No matter how many nations are brought together, there will always be unhumane slaughter of goats. So we shall take over the world to save thy goats! SAVE THE GOATS!! Hehehehehehehe. Do not send me another letter, please. My goat is allergic to your scent.
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
-----------------------------------
Goats?! What's with these goats!? Quatre boiled angrilly and scribbled another response.
-----------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Nekkyou Kouhii,
What's with the goats?! Who cares about the goats!? The human race is more important than any ol' goat!
Quatre R. Winner
-------------------------------------
"Sir, Mister Maxwell has released all the goats on the colony and they are running the length of the hall." the servent poked his head in again. Quatre blinked; "Um...shoot them or something...goddamnit..."
------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr.Winner,
You didn't take me seriously did you!? Did you!? Goddamnit! Didn't yo' momma ever tell you not to mess with the crazies?! Huh!? Fool! How you shall see the true power of our Insanity! Muwahahahahah!! Turn on you tellie! Hehehehehe
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
--------------------------------------
Quatre switched on his television in confusion. "--and no one seems to know why, but today, all the ... goats ....on Earth and the colonies have been somehow released and are now running amock everywhere. Goats in the garden, goats eatting things, goats in the office, goats everywhere! Scientists are unsure of why these--" The blonde switched off the TV and ran outside of his office. "I THINK I'M GOING INSANE!!! YEAH THAT'S IT! I'M INNNSAAAANNNEEEE!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"
Kiriska: Um....review? Please? lol. Hehehehe, goats. *snicker*
Chibi Sikeeh: Shut up goshdarnit!
Chibi Tiyan: Aw, man...
Kiriska: Heheheheh, hey, it had to pick up again sooner or later!
Mayakashi: Why couldn't it just end?
Kiriska: Fans, Maya, fans!
Akutareru: YAY!
Everyone: We do not own Gundam Wing. However Evil Coffee, Evil Coffee Co., and related coffee products do belong to us, SO THERE!
Note: Everything that happened in Ch.7 never happened, kay? Hehehe.
Evil Coffee 8: Letter to the Makers (COMPLETE!!)
The Gundam Pilots minus Duo were assembled once again in the drawing room of the Winner Mansion. "We seriously need to put a stop to this." Quatre said, stating the obvious. "Tell me again, why we simply can't kill him!" Wufei growled. "That'd be cold-blooded murder!" the blonde exclaimed. "No it wouldn't." Heero stated monotonely. Trowa sighed.
One of the servents came in holding a vaguely familiar metal canister, "Zees was found een zee trash can, sir." he said, holding out the can to Quatre. The arab took the can, somewhat confused, and examined it. He scanned the labels, and his eyes widened. "This is a used canister of Evil Coffee!" he exclaimed, "Thanks Frances!" The servent nodded, bowed and left the room.
"So what? Burn the thing." Wufei snorted. "No, no, look, it has the address and stuff for the company who makes the stuff!" Quatre explained. Wufei raised an eyebrow. "So,...what are you suggesting, do we go blow up the company?" Trowa shook his head. "Of course not, we'll never get to do anything like that as long as Quatre's around." The blonde shot his friend a look.
"Then what are you suggesting we do?" Heero asked. "We can write them a letter, maybe they're not aware of what their coffee does." Quatre answered. "Not aware!? Are you that stupid, Winner? They have warning labels on the thing! Look! It's even worse than it ever was!" Wufei snatched the canister from Quatre. He read the labeling aloud; "Warning: Drinker beware, this coffee will render you completely insane for a matter of hours." "That's sure as hell true." Trowa muttered.
"I still we write them a letter, maybe we can ask them to stop producing the product." Quatre suggested. "Uh-huh, sure." Trowa said, "Like they gonna listen to us." "Hey! We're war heros! They have to listen!" the blonde argued. Heero blinked; "Wheren't you the one who said never to use that to your advantage?" he asked. Quatre flushed, "Well this is important!" "Alright fine, but it's not going to work." Wufei growled.
--------------------
Subject: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Makers of Evil Coffee:
A close friend of mine has been addicted to your product, Evil Coffee, for quite some time now. We do not believe continuing to sell this product is safe for our friend, or the community. We have had one too many adventures that landed in disaster because of your product. Evil Coffee is a threat to the sanity of the universe, we hope you understand that.
Yes, you did give fair warning on the packaging. But the average person does not realize the dangers of this coffee. In addition to that, my friend has a serious problem, the coffee seems to have a permenant affect on him. He continously tries to make us fall victim to your strange drink. This has caused many problems for our colony. You may have heard about some of these incidents.
Vice Forgien Minister Dorlan is a very important part of our life, she helps maintain the peace between colonies and Earth. But, as a result of the coffee, she has been landed in an ayslum for a few months. (Refer to Evil Coffee: Valentine's Special) This is not right. Another time, he poisoned a party of important war-heros. This was a disaster and caused over 5 million in damage.
If you continue to make this product the madness will not stop. Please listen to our plees and at least consider. The santy of the universe lays in your decision. If you do not stop, there are chances your company is in danger from my quite violent friends. Thank you for your time, and I hope you listen.
Sincerely,
Quatre Raberba Winner
--------------------
Quatre sent the letter on it's way. "Why didn't you use email?" Trowa wondered. The blonde blinked. Wufei snorted; "Blondes...weaklings..." Quatre sighed. He hoped it would work...
A week past, during which, Duo got a whole school of children insane by replacing the milk with coffee. That did not look good in the news. Quatre became fusterated and considered sending another letter. Duo was having the time of his life, plotting on who to get next. Wufei, Heero, and Trowa came up with a list of 1001 ways to kill Duo. The blonde arab waited each day for the mail. Then, it came. The letter came with a large package.
--------------------
Subject: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr. Winner:
Thank you for your letter. You have won a free can of Lemonade Flavored Evil Coffee for being the 1st person sane enough to contact us! We have no intension of stopping production of our number one selling product on the black market. The coffee is a perfect weapon, your friend is a very smart person. Miss Relena's incident was very humorous to the staff and we hope your friend does something like that again.
We understand that the sane people of the world will have a problem with this, but we of The Evil Coffee Co. have solemly sworn that we will take over the world with the Evil Coffee Craze. We have gotten much support from fellow psychopaths. Our leading customer so far is one Duo Maxwell. If you a sane person Mr. Winner you should be smart and leave us alone. You will only go insane. Thank you for you time and enjoy your coffee!
Crazily,
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
--------------------
Quatre stared at the letter in disbelief. They're out to take over the world?! This Evil Coffee Company was indeed another threat to the peace they had worked so hard for. But what could they do? Duo was their leading customer? What was he thinking? Was he aware that me was helping an evil organization in it's plans for world domination. A evil, psychotic organization at that?
The company was run by a group of crazy people! What fool wad funding this company?! The blonde called Heero. The Perfect Solider's face appeared on the VisaCommunicator. "What do you want Quatre?" he asked. "Heero, I need you to hack up as much information about The Evil Coffee Co. now!" he commanded. "Why?" the other wondered. "Just do it!" the blonde screamed. "Alright, alright, fine." Heero agreed, surprised at Quatre's behavior.
Quatre sat at his desk, sweat poured from his brow. This was serious. What could they do? Maybe Wufei and the others could just blow up the ECHO and be done with it. The arab sat there thinking for the better of an hour when the phone rang. Heero's face once again appeared.
"Goddamnit, these people know how to set up security! It took me almost the whole hour to break in! Then after that the whole thing was coded. I managed to break the codes, but what I got still doesn't really make sense." Heero said. Quatre blinked, "What do you mean?" His old ally sighed, "I can decode anything, but not riddles. Here, it says: 'Only the insane can solve this, you the sane, are stupid, Coffee are for the psychs, idiots, and bikes! Heehee!' "
Quatre blinked; "Ooooookay.....I don't get it." "Neither do I, but it can be just a false...thing." the other said. "What else did you find?" Heero glanced at something; "Well, that's all for now, I'll have to dig further to find more." "Do it, just try to hurry." Heero nodded and the screen went black.
"Nothing!" Heero cried irritablely, "There is absolutely NOTHING on here! They just put up a database to taunt me! TAUNT ME! I HATE THEM!!" Everyone in the room sweatdropped. "Calm down, Heero." Quatre muttered. "Why can't we just ask Duo?" Trowa wondered. "ARE YOU INSANE!??!" Wufei demanded. "WE DO NOT ASK MAXWELL FOR HELP! IT IS WEAK!!" he screamed. Once again, everyone sweatdropped.
"I'm going to write another letter." Quatre announced.
------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Nekkyou Kouhii,
You are insane, continuation of your plans is futile and stupid. There is no point in it, it is impossible to controll the world this way. No one is stupid enough to follow the insane.
Sincerely,
Quatre R. Winner
---------------------------
Short, sweet, and simple. Their reply?
---------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr.Winner,
Don't make me sick my goat on you. It is rather simple to take over the world with coffee. It becomes addictive you see, and all those addicted will be under our control and get others addicted. One only needs to consume our wonderful product 3 times to become our slave, muwahahahaahah!!!! Ahem. So give up now, mister sane man. Goodbye.
Leave me alone,
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
-------------------------------
Quatre glared at the letter angrilly. A servent walked into the room, "Sir, Mister Maxwell has set the garden on fire,..again." Quatre sighed; "Take the goat outside, that usually calms him down." the rich guy then turned back to write another letter.
-------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Nekkyou Kouhii,
This is stupid. Why do you want to take over the world anyway? Peace is a good thing, everyone is happy this way.
Quatre R. Winner
--------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr.Winner,
You are starting to tire me. Peace is not good, there is no such thing as 'peace'. No matter how many nations are brought together, there will always be unhumane slaughter of goats. So we shall take over the world to save thy goats! SAVE THE GOATS!! Hehehehehehehe. Do not send me another letter, please. My goat is allergic to your scent.
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
-----------------------------------
Goats?! What's with these goats!? Quatre boiled angrilly and scribbled another response.
-----------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
From: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
Nekkyou Kouhii,
What's with the goats?! Who cares about the goats!? The human race is more important than any ol' goat!
Quatre R. Winner
-------------------------------------
"Sir, Mister Maxwell has released all the goats on the colony and they are running the length of the hall." the servent poked his head in again. Quatre blinked; "Um...shoot them or something...goddamnit..."
------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Evil Coffee
To: 2673 Winner Ln. Colony L:44892, USU
From: ECHO (Evil Coffee Head Operations) 1331 Blackburn Rd. Enasni, RI, 11331, USA
Mr.Winner,
You didn't take me seriously did you!? Did you!? Goddamnit! Didn't yo' momma ever tell you not to mess with the crazies?! Huh!? Fool! How you shall see the true power of our Insanity! Muwahahahahah!! Turn on you tellie! Hehehehehe
Nekkyou Kouhii, President of The Evil Coffee Co.
--------------------------------------
Quatre switched on his television in confusion. "--and no one seems to know why, but today, all the ... goats ....on Earth and the colonies have been somehow released and are now running amock everywhere. Goats in the garden, goats eatting things, goats in the office, goats everywhere! Scientists are unsure of why these--" The blonde switched off the TV and ran outside of his office. "I THINK I'M GOING INSANE!!! YEAH THAT'S IT! I'M INNNSAAAANNNEEEE!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"
Kiriska: Um....review? Please? lol. Hehehehe, goats. *snicker*