"This is my thanks."
A/N: You know, I thought about a second part while I was writing the first one, but then I thought, "Nah …" But then I read Susan and Gochi's reviews and thought maybe a sequel wouldn't be such a bad idea. Sorry I didn't reply, though.
"Tell me where Battousai is, Okina, and it ends here."
At least, for him it would end. Not for me. Not until I killed Battousai. And then … then it would end for me too. The way it had ended for Hanya and the others. I could lay the title of the 'strongest' on their graves … and then what? I wonder for barely a second, but it doesn't really matter. What mattered was that I would kill Battousai, and that was all that would ever matter.
"You mock me," he replies. His eyes blaze with pride and determination – and a little sadness. I notice it, but it – just like everything else – does not matter. I lost my honour long ago; I will do what I have to. "I may be an old man, but I am a spy … I am Okina of the Oniwabanshu, and I would never betray a comrade to an enemy!"
Comrade … to an enemy … So Battousai was the comrade, and I was the enemy. How fitting. Battousai, with his easy smiles and his reluctant sword, and me with my icy mask and ever-ready kodachi. Yes, it was very easy to see why I could so easily be the enemy and him the comrade. But … once upon a time I was the one who was comrade. Perhaps without the easy smiles, but still something akin to that. But it is my own fault that I am not anymore. My fault … and Battousai's.
"Then I will destroy you here. And then I will go on to the Aoiya to question the other four ..."
The other four. I wonder why I did not say five. I should have said five – the four that I saw when I was there, and the one I didn't. Misao. But – could I truly 'question' her? Perhaps. But I will make sure that the need does not arise. That is the best way. Whatever else Hanya and the others may want, they cannot want me to physically hurt Misao.
"You will not!" he cries. His eyes blaze again – I am threatening his territory if I venture into the Aoiya, and for that reason alone he will do everything he can to destroy me here. I understand that. He has every right to protect his territory. He does not have the right to aid Battousai.
"Give up," I say coldly. "With only one tonfa you have no chance of victory."
I stab forwards with my kodachi, already anticipating his move. He taught me much, but there is one thing he forgot. He forgot that he taught me how to think like him. He forgot that he taught me to never back out of a commitment. He forgot that he taught me never to stop in the middle of a fight, to give up, to let go. He forgot that he taught me to win.
His breath comes out in gasps as he catches the blade of my sword with his bare hand. "Come on, Aoshi," he grinds out. "Even with one tonfa, one blow with all my strength behind it can tell us a different story."
The Ensatsu Goukoukon. He strikes, and I parry, retaining my stance. I flip my kodachi so that I hold them backhanded. Fine. I had given him his chance – even now, I had been ready to spare him if he had told me where Battousai was. But I knew that he would not, and he hasn't. I hear, above Okina's breathing, the sound of thudding footsteps outside the hut. I must be mistaken – there can be no one here. And even if there is, I can take care of them easily.
The thudding footsteps grow louder. They are bothering me, echoing in my head when one minute ago I was calm and without regret, without feeling.
The Kaiten Kenbu Rokuren. He knows what is coming, and I know that he knows.
… the footsteps come closer. I can hear the slapping sound of sandals against ground, and the panting of one long out of breath …
I steel myself.
… the thudding grows louder …
I let the kodachi fly.
… and the door flies open, and a girl's voice gasps, "I … made it … "
Okina falls to the floor, blood flowing freely from innumerable wounds all over his body.
There are no more footsteps.
There is no more noise.
There is silence. Utter, absolute silence.
"It's over," I say, more to myself than anything else.
And then I see her. She is standing there against the door, eyes wide with horror. She looks nothing like I remembered – and yet she looks exactly the same. The hair … and the eyes … and the way she is dressed … but no, the eyes are not the same. I have never seen that expression in her eyes before. That utter devastation, the shock, the betrayal …
Should I feel something, looking at her? I don't. She is looking at me now, and still I feel nothing. I hear nothing. I begin to walk towards her … I walk past her, my kodachi dripping blood … dimly, I realise that she will know where Battousai is. She is one of the Oniwabanshu too, after all. But I cannot question her. And I do not think myself weak for not being able to.
I have passed her, and then it hits me. All those memories of me … and of her … and of them … Hanya, and Beshimi, and Hyottoko, and Shikijou … I want to gasp out loud as I feel that pain in my chest. And I know what I have to do. She must forget me. I do not want her to follow me, to ask me for an explanation, as I know she will. She cannot have changed that much. And so I say the words I know I must say, for her own good.
"Get out of here."
She gasps, and I can imagine her eyes. But now that I have said that, I cannot feel anything anymore. The way it was when I saw her for the first time right now. No feeling. No pain. The pain and the hurt will come later – but by then I will be fighting the Battousai, and I will lose myself in that. That is my way of dealing with pain.
"I never want to see your face again."
I don't, truly. I feel nothing now, but I will, and seeing her again will only enhance that pain. Besides, it is easier on her this way. I have severed the ties that we had, and now she can hate me without being bothered by other feelings. That is the way I want it. No illusions. No fake hopes. No dreams that can never be fulfilled. She will feel sharp pain for a while, but then there will be none. Just hate. And that is easy to deal with.
As I walk away, I notice that she is not following. I can hear her sobbing, even as I walk further away. Or maybe that is just my imagination. But it is working, then, if she is not running after me.
And I think back to the black-haired woman to whom I had handed a sword on that fateful day in Kanryuu's mansion. I remember why I offered her that chance to end her life. The shorter pain to prevent the greater. Isn't that what I had done now? For Misao. The shorter, sharper pain to prevent the greater, long-lasting torment. It is not hard to hate. It is harder to care when you know you must hate.
I think of the long-haired woman, and know that if it had not been for her I would never have been able to say this to Misao. If it had not been for that woman, I would not be in this position in the first place. And … I realise that I do not mind being in this situation. No, not right now. Not when there is nothing to feel, no pain to bear.
She had my thanks.
A/N: On a completely different note, the version of 'Ice Blue Eyes' I downloaded keeps breaking in the middle … and believe me, it is so irritating. I forget where I downloaded it from, though …
And by the way, I was having a lot of trouble with the ending of this. That's what took me so long to get this done. I just couldn't get that last phrase in properly. But, what the heck, it's done, so I can start on the third part now …
Disclaimer: (Oh, shit, forgot all about this …) Heh. Mine? Puh-lease.