Baby Fever

Alely7

Summary: Mostly a C&M fic, but some of the others are in it too. It takes place at the end of season 8.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters and this is purely for enjoyment. No profits will be made.

Foreword: I don't think this has already been done, but if it has, I am sorry and I did not know.  I am very new at this, so it may be horrible.  It is not funny, so sorry for the stupid jokes because I tried to keep the characters in character.  This takes place in season 8.  C&M have been married for almost a year and Rachel is 9 months pregnant. 

Scene: Central Perk

The gang except for Rachel.  Monica is on the couch with her head in Chandler's lap.  Chandler is brushing hair from her face.  Ross is sitting on the big chair with Phoebe on one of the arms.  Joey is sitting at the table and he is eating.

P: So Mon, feeling better?

M: Eh, not really. I was sick all night.

Ro: Oh, really?

C: Yes, trust me.

J: Maybe you should go to the doctor.

M: Yeah, I think I will tomorrow because being sick really sucks.  I feel so damn weak.

C: Aww sweetie, you're----

M: Oh no!! I am gonna be sick.  Chandler!!

C: Coming. (To the gang) Here we go again.

(C&M exit)

Ro: I wonder what she has…

P: Oh, I know.

Ro: Uh, Pheebs, how?

P: Duh! I am psychic, ya know.

J: Yeah Ross, I mean come on.

P: Plus her aura is all floopy and I am a woman, so I know these things.

Ro: So…

J: Duh Ross. I mean, you are supposed to be the scientist. Monica is pregnant.

Ro: What? Oh my god!! That is so great.

(C&M re-enter)

M: What is "so great"?

P: Joey got a job… at the post office.

C: Way to go man, I think.

Ro: So Mon, feeling better now?

M: You would think so, but no.

C: Yeah, we are going to go upstairs so Mon can rest.  See ya guys later.

(Joey giggles)

C: No Joey, we are not doing that.

M: Please get us if Rachel goes into labor.

Ro, P, J: Buhbye

(C&M exit)

P: Oh yeah, she is so pregnant.

(Rachel enters)

Ra: Come on Ross, let's go to the hospital.

Ro: What? Is it baby time?

Ra: Yes Daddy! Let's go!

Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment

            Monica is lying on the couch and Chandler is cooking something.

M: Hey Chandler. Are you making a mess?

C: No (obviously lying), but I am making you soup!

M: Aww, sweetie, you are the best!

C: No, you are.

M: I am the best, aren't I?

(Phone rings)

C: Hello

Voice of P: Hey Chandler.  Rachel is in labor.  There is a cab waiting for you downstairs.  We will meet you at the hospital.  Oooh, and tell Monica that I know. Ok, buhbye.

C: Ok, bye Pheebs.

(Hangs up phone)

Mon, Rachel is having the baby.  We have to go. Oh, and Phoebe knows?!?!?

M: (Starts to cry) Oh my god! Rachel is so lucky. But what does Phoebe know? Wait Chandler, I can't move.

C: Shhh sweetie. I'll carry you.

(Picks her up and walks towards the door)

M: I love you.

C: I know- I love you too.

Scene: Hospital Waiting Room

            Monica is sitting in Chandler's lap. Phoebe and Joey are there.

M: So, uh Pheebs, what is it that you know?

P: I think you know.

M: No, really, I don't.

O: Ok then, let's go for a walk.

M: Ok.

(They leave)

J: So, what do you think about it?

C: (Hesitantly) I think it is great?!?!?!

J: Yeah ya do!

(Cut to Monica and Phoebe in a hospital hallway)

M: So…

P: OK, let's look at this objectively.  One, your sick.  Two, your hormones are going crazy.  Three, are you late?

M: Oh my god!! I'm pregnant!!

P: Yeah ya are

M: But I should probably take a test, you know, to make sure.  You wanna come with me to buy one?

P: No need. (Pulls a pregnancy test out of her purse)

M: Why do you have a pregnancy test in your purse?

P: Why not? You never know when you'll need one.

M: (Skeptically) Okay…

(10 minutes later- they are in the bathroom)

M: Phoebe, I can't look. I am too nervous.

P: I'll look for you then.

M? Oh, ok. Thanks, but don't do what you did for Rachel because I already know I want a baby.

P: Ugh, fine.  Ok, ready? You wanna know?

M: Uh…..

P: Ok, well let's see.  You are--- (hesitating)

M: Tell me!!!

P: With child

M: Yes!!! Oh my goodness, I am gonna be a Mommy!!

P: I know!

(They hug)

M: Oh, but what about Chandler?

P: Oh no! (Like Phoebe always does)

M: I know (starts to cry)

P: Well, haven't you been trying for a while?

M: No

P: So this is a complete surprise?

M: Yes

P: You're screwed. (Monica gives a death glare) I mean, this is Chandler we are talking about.

(Monica cries harder)

Scene: Hospital Room

            Rachel is in labor and Ross is coaching.

Ro: Good news!

Ra: Am I done?

Ro: God no.  With Carol, it was still hours after she got to this point! (Glare from Rachel) So, um, the good news is that Monica is pregnant.

Ra: That is great for them!! But aren't you a little mad at Chandler because he knocked up your little sister?

Ro: I am gonna kick his ass! (Starts to leave)

Ra: Ross, wait!! This is good for Mon, let them be.

Ro:  Oh, so you're not mad that Monica is stealing your thunder?

Ra: Ross, get out their and kick their asses!!

Scene: Waiting Room

            Monica is leaning on Chandler crying while he is asleep.  Joey is also asleep and Phoebe is reading a magazine. 

P: (Still reading) So Mon, know how you are going to tell Chandler yet?

M: No, he is gonna freak out no matter how I tell him. Um, Pheebs, why are you reading "Cigar Aficionado"?

P: Oh this, for when I go to Cuba. (She says this matter of factly)

(Ross is heard in a hallway yelling "Chandler")

P: Ross, shut up! Chandler is asleep.

Ro: Well wake him up then cause I am gonna kick his ass.

M: Why exactly?

Ro: Well, cause he knocked up my little sister.

M: How do you know?

Ro: I put two and two together, and besides, everyone knows.

M: Well not Chandler.

Ro: Oh, well, then I will wait until he knows to kick is ass!!! OH, and Rach is mad cause you stole her thunder.

M: I did not steal her thunder. It is not like I announced I was pregnant. I just figured it out today when Phoebe pointed it out.

P: Mon, you kind of did steal her thunder. You just couldn't wait could you?

M: (Gives the Monica death glare)

Scene: Waiting Room

            Just Monica and Chandler, but Chandler is still asleep.  There is also a nurse behind the counter.

M: Chandler! Chandler!

C: (Still asleep) Not now Monica, I'm tired.

(Nurse giggles)

M: No Chandler! Wake up! We have to talk.

C: (Still asleep) Seriously Mon, later.

(Nurse giggles)

M: (mad) Chandler!!!!!!!

C: (Still asleep) Fine Monica, we can do it now.

(Nurse is laughing hysterically)

M: (She is very angry so she twists Chandler's finger)

C: Oww-oww ouch! Jeez Mon, what is your problem?

M: (Very calm) Sweetie, we need to talk.

C: Oh ok, what's up?

(Joey and Phoebe enter)

M: Well--- (interrupted by their entrance)

J: Hey guys

C: Hey, what's up?

J: Not mu--- (interrupted by Monica)

M: Phoebe and Joey, would you mind leaving us alone, we have to talk.

P, J: Ok sure.

(Phoebe and Joey walk five feet away, sit, cover their faces with magazines, and try to listen)

M: (Clears her throat)

P: Yeah, so, we'll be leaving now.

(Phoebe and Joey leave)

M: So Chandler, as I was saying…

(Chandler snores and Monica looks defeated)

Scene: Waiting Room

            Chandler is still asleep and Joey is too.  Monica and Phoebe are talking.

P: So, how did he take the news?

M: he didn't- He fell asleep before I told him.

P: Oh, Mon, I'm sorry.

M: Yeah, well, me too.

P: I have an idea! Let's go to the nursery and look at the newborn babies.  It will take your mind off of Chandler and it will be great to see what you'll have in a few short months.

M: Ok, it sounds like fun. Let's go.

(Monica and Phoebe leave)

(Chandler wakes up)

C: Well, I am gonna go (realizes no one is there, so he says quietly) take a walk.

(Chandler leaves)

Scene: Chandler is looking at the babies through the window. 

            Monica and Phoebe are walking through a nearby hallway.

M: Jeez, Pheebs. I thought you knew where you were going. It took us like twenty minutes to get here.

P: Shhh, look.

M: (Looks and sees Chandler)

(Monica and Phoebe approach but stop in the doorway and listen to Chandler)

C: Look at you guys; you are sooooo cute with your little hands, feet and noses.  I'm not a Daddy yet, cause I am really scared.  I don't want to be like my dad.  But still, I feel like I am being selfish because my wife, Monica, really wants to have a baby.  I lover her so much, and I want her to be happy, but what if I make a mistake.  (A baby looks right and Chandler and smiles)  You know what? That is it.  I am gonna go tell Mon right now that I want one.

(Chandler leaves for the waiting room)

(Monica and Phoebe both have tears in their eyes. 

Scene: Waiting Room

Chandler is pacing around in the waiting room.  Joey is asleep.  Monica and Phoebe enter.

C: Oh thank goodness, Mon; I have been looking all over for you.

M: Phoebe and I just went for a walk.  We thought you would still be asleep.

C: (Hugs and kisses Monica) I was so worried about you.

M: Awww, honey, that is so cute!

C: Well, it wouldn't have been so cute if I had had the nurse page you over the intercom. 

M: Yeah, that wouldn't have been as cute, but the thought is still sweet.  Do I tell you how much I love you often enough?

C: Eh… (Monica playfully smacks him) I love you Monica.

M: I love you too Chandler.

(They begin kissing)

P: Get a room.

C: Hey Mon, you wanna go for a walk--- alone?

M: Yep, sure (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up)

(They exit and Chandler leads them to the cafeteria where there is a table set up with flowers, candles, wine, and a meal from the vending machines)

M: Oh my god.

(Monica and Chandler kiss)

C: Please sit down my lady.  There is some wine from the gift shop and a meal, or rather some food, from those vending machines.  I realize that this is not Allesandro's, but I want you to know that it would have been if Rachel weren't in labor.

M: It looks fine Chandler, thank you so much.

(They eat for about 20 minutes)

C: So sweetie, I have been thinking, and if you are ready, which I am sure you are, I would like to start trying for a baby.

M: (Kisses him sweetly) Thank you!!! But are you sure?

C: Yes, definitely.  It will be great and I know that it would make you happy, and I love you.

M: I love you!!! Um, Chandler, have you noticed anything at dinner?

C: well, the food sucks.

M: Anything else?

C: You haven't eaten much.

M: And…

C: You haven't had any wine.  I know it's cheap, but you should really try some because it is not so ba--- (Look of realization) Oh my goodness, are you?

M: Yes!!! And I was scared to death to tell you, but then I saw you talking to the babies today. Sweetie, you are definitely ready.

(They kiss passionately)

C: So, how long have you known for?

M: I just found out today.  Phoebe actually pointed it out.

C: Wow, didn't see that coming.

M: I know!!

C: So, does everyone else know?

M: Yeah, but I didn't tell them.  They guessed.  And now Rach is mad because she thinks I stole her thunder.  By the way, Ross wants to kick you ass.

C: (Laughing) Ya, ok, like that'll happen.

M: (Laughing) I know!

Scene: Waiting Room

            Joey and Phoebe are playing cards.  Monica and Chandler walk in smiling and holding hands.

P: So…?

C: We're having a baby!

P, J: Yea!!!!!

(Chandler and Monica hug and kiss)

(Phoebe, Joey, Monica and Chandler share a group hug)

(Ross comes running in)

Ro: I am a Dad, again! Whoo hoo

C, M, P, J: Congratulations!

Ro: Oh god.  I am a father.  (Faints)

C: I hope I am not like that.

M: (Laughs) I love you!!  (They kiss)

Pleas review!!! Thanks!