Title : "The Twisted Saga of Love : How to make a jedi/poet yours!"
Authors : Sparkling Diamond Satine & peridot mousey
Disclaimer : Although we secretly wish we owned Obi-Wan and Christian, we don't. In fact, the closest thing we have is well, the movies and random pictures we've downloaded. I would also like to add, however, that Jedi Padawan Cerridwen Akemi belongs to me (peridot mousey) and the courtesan Felicia belongs to the other author (Sparkling Diamond Satine). So even though we don't own Star Wars or Moulin Rouge, if we could somehow appear in their worlds... this is what would happen.
Notes : Woo hoo! Another chapter! I would just like to say, try not to be too offended by the "jedi knickers" joke. It came from Ewan himself! Ooooh, betcha' won't get all offended now. *winks* It's the joke of the day, and we happen to think it's so funny that we used it -twice- (three times if you count the chapter title). It's even more wonderful than a young, evil Obi-Wan Kenobi chained up and saying "yes, master" to everything we say. Ya know, on second thought...
Chapter 3 : "What nice jedi knickers you have..."
"You know, Cerridwen, your hair is almost the same color as Satine's was. Maybe it's a little lighter. I bet if you unbraided it, it would look just like her glossy curls," Christian thought aloud.
"You know, Christian, your hair is like Obi-Wan's. It's much darker than his, longer too, but it's definately got Obi-Wan qualities. I bet if we chopped it a little and added one long braid on the side, it would look just like his padawan style," I thought aloud.
This had gone on for hours now. I reminded him of his former love Satine who he spoke quite highly of, so I supposed that was a good thing. I made the mistake of asking about her, and it went on and on and on and... Of course, I did the only thing a lovesick jedi padawan could do in such a situation. I told him he reminded me of my former love - well, so I was lovesick for him, but... - Obi-Wan. He asked me about him, and I went on and on and on...
"This is crazy!" I finally announced, not realizing he said the same thing when I did.
"You know," Christian said with a sudden grin.
"Hmmm?" I replied, completely in shock by how adorable his wanna-be-evil grin was. Of course, with Christian, I doubt there was anything he ould do without being adorable somehow.
"You look so much like Satine, but you're not her. That's alright though, I mean, you have good differences. Very... admirable differences. Although I can overlook basically anything..." he said, nearly drifting off into another Satine flashback. I couldn't just sit there and let it happen. He was dropping a hint at - something - and by the will of the Force, I was going to find out what.
"Like... what sort of differences?" I inquired innocently.
"Well, you don't cough. You don't have any sort of non-coughing, deathly disease do you?" Christian asked.
"Nope. I sneeze a lot though. Horrid allergies," I said.
"That's fine, as long as you don't die from it. You don't plan on dying any time soon do you?" he questioned.
"Not unless I have to go back through that mirror without you..." I said, batting my eyelashes at him.
"So that means you just might be a hopeless romantic?" he inquired.
"Yes!" I replied.
"With a love for poetry?" he questioned.
"Of course!"
"And you don't have a terrible job where you get paid in diamonds to indulge disgusting fantasies of married men? And you don't have to seduce a nasty, old duke do you?" he interrogated.
"No, no, of course not!" I stated, "Now, it's your turn. You're a lot like Obi-Wan, but you have certain charming qualities he lacks. You can sing and dance and recite poetry. But... do you have an ego that barely fits through star systems?"
"No," he replied.
"Great! And you don't have an annoying habit of reading my thoughts when I'm daydreaming?" I asked.
"Of course not. That's terribly rude to do - not that I know how," he said.
"Peachy! And... if I just so happened to be staring and drooling over you, you wouldn't be rude or anything?" I inquired.
"No, I'd be honored," he replied.
"Great! I'm happy!" I announced cheerfully.
"Well then, that settles it," Christian stated, suddenly standing up and grinning at me. Oh Force, I thought his voice was seductive, but just add the grin to it and...
"Settles what?" I said, struggling not to just faint from the beauty of the moment.
Suddenly the oh-so-dramatic poet burst into song announcing that, "We should be lovers!"
"We can't do that," I replied, but suddenly felt the need to kick myself many, many times.
"We should be lovers," he announced through song again, "and that's a fact."
You know, opportunities like that just don't happen. Come on, when was the last time some charming, adorable, poetic, dream guy of the galaxy burst into song and announced that you should, in fact, be his lover?
"Well, alright then. That's fine with me!" I said with a bright smile.
Christian hopped on his bed and sat with his back against the wall. He looked so comfortable and, well, dreamy. He grinned at me and said, "You're not going to make me sit all by myself over here, are you?"
Oh. Force. Oh. Force. OH! FORCE! As if I could honestly say no! My adorable, little padawan self strolled over and happily snuggled against Christian.
"So, you keep mentioning the jedi. What's it like to be one?" he asked softly.
"Well," I explained, "it's quite peaceful really. We meditate a lot and move things around with our minds. It's very quiet and time-consuming. But, sometimes we have to fight. We have this great weapon called a light sabre." I lightly tapped at the light sabre attached to my belt.
"Wait, wait, why give it such a fancy name? I mean, I could just drop my jedi knickers and show you a real lightsabre," he said with yet another wanna-be-evil grin.
"What?!" I exclaimed, blushing a much brighter shade of pink.
"Em, I'm sorry. It must be the bad influence of those Absinthe-drinking Bohemians upstairs," he murmered, blushing nearly the same color.
~*~
The trip to the Healers was interesting. Everyone stared at me down the long hallway, and I'm sure no one recognized me. But it felt good to be carried all the way by a big, strong, handsome man.
"You're going to be just fine, dearie," one of the Healer's said. "Everything checks out good, and you can leave to get some rest. Obi-Wan, can I ask you one thing in private?"
"Sure thing, Healer Robi," Obi-Wan said.
"Who is she? I most certainly never saw her before," Robi said.
"She's...my cousin!" Obi-Wan managed to think up a lie to cover for me. How sweet, now I have to be related to him. Too bad, if he could pay, I most surely would've given him quite a night.
Obi-Wan helped me walk back to Cerridwen's room. Walking in those flat boots was quite the interesting thing. My feet were so used to the high heels, that I almost fell backwards!
Suddenly, as I was sitting down I noticed something dangling at his waist. "What is that?" I asked.
"Oh this? It's a lightsaber," Obi-Wan said, about to pull it off his belt and show it to her. "It's a weapon and-"
"I'm sure it is," I said grinning. "Now why don't you drop your little Jedi knickers and show me-"
"What?!?!?!?" he interrupted.
"I wanted you to show me the real thing," I said, with a smirk across my lips.
Obi-Wan turned bright red. It was probably the first time he'd ever been talked to that way by anyone. "NO!"
"What, you don't like me?" I asked, pouting, putting on my sad, 'Come and play with me' face.
"It's...it's not that...you're just..." Obi-Wan said.
"Come on, spit it out," I said, proceeding to yank Obi-Wan's arm and pull him onto the bed. "Let's make love!"
Obi-Wan looked horrified. "WHAT?"
I started undoing Obi's pants, and started making animal noises. "Tiger!! Rawr rawr!"
"You're scaring me!" Obi-Wan said, giving me a Force shove to push me off of him. Unfortunately, he didn't know just how much power he had just used, and I was pushed across the room, landing right into Cerridwen's dresser...and knocking over the snow globe that was inconveniently placed on the edge of the dresser.
"Oops," I said, unsure of what exactly I had done.
"Oh no...Padawan Cerridwen will surely kill me for this!" Obi-Wan said, panicking.
"Stay calm Obi-Wan we don't even know if she's here, right?" I asked.
"Well...yes...but still, we have to do something...replace it, perhaps, before she gets back!" Obi-Wan said.
"How are we going to do that?" I asked, my hands on my hips.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. "But it's not like I could care that much," he smiled at me in the most sinister way I could have thought would come from such an innocent man's lips. "From now on, I'm forgetting about that stupid Padawan. Besides, all she did was drool over me...it serves her right!"
I smirked. "Drooled...over you? What a fool she was." Obi-Wan frowned. "I WAS KIDDING. Gosh, can't you take a joke?"
"Uh...so...Felicia is it?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yes. What do you want?" I asked, falling into a dazed state, I collapsed onto the bed next to Obi-Wan. Lying next to him was the best feeling I've ever had...it didn't compare to any man I was forced to sleep with.
"Do you want me to show you my lightsaber?" he asked.
I perked up, out of my dazed state. "You actually...want to?"
"NOT THAT LIGHTSABER!!" Obi-Wan yelled.
I pouted again. "I guess you don't go for the 'Smoldering Temptress' Look. Perhaps if I try for something a little less...rowdy?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.
"How about you act like yourself. No pretending to be someone else, just you," Obi-Wan suggested.
Authors : Sparkling Diamond Satine & peridot mousey
Disclaimer : Although we secretly wish we owned Obi-Wan and Christian, we don't. In fact, the closest thing we have is well, the movies and random pictures we've downloaded. I would also like to add, however, that Jedi Padawan Cerridwen Akemi belongs to me (peridot mousey) and the courtesan Felicia belongs to the other author (Sparkling Diamond Satine). So even though we don't own Star Wars or Moulin Rouge, if we could somehow appear in their worlds... this is what would happen.
Notes : Woo hoo! Another chapter! I would just like to say, try not to be too offended by the "jedi knickers" joke. It came from Ewan himself! Ooooh, betcha' won't get all offended now. *winks* It's the joke of the day, and we happen to think it's so funny that we used it -twice- (three times if you count the chapter title). It's even more wonderful than a young, evil Obi-Wan Kenobi chained up and saying "yes, master" to everything we say. Ya know, on second thought...
Chapter 3 : "What nice jedi knickers you have..."
"You know, Cerridwen, your hair is almost the same color as Satine's was. Maybe it's a little lighter. I bet if you unbraided it, it would look just like her glossy curls," Christian thought aloud.
"You know, Christian, your hair is like Obi-Wan's. It's much darker than his, longer too, but it's definately got Obi-Wan qualities. I bet if we chopped it a little and added one long braid on the side, it would look just like his padawan style," I thought aloud.
This had gone on for hours now. I reminded him of his former love Satine who he spoke quite highly of, so I supposed that was a good thing. I made the mistake of asking about her, and it went on and on and on and... Of course, I did the only thing a lovesick jedi padawan could do in such a situation. I told him he reminded me of my former love - well, so I was lovesick for him, but... - Obi-Wan. He asked me about him, and I went on and on and on...
"This is crazy!" I finally announced, not realizing he said the same thing when I did.
"You know," Christian said with a sudden grin.
"Hmmm?" I replied, completely in shock by how adorable his wanna-be-evil grin was. Of course, with Christian, I doubt there was anything he ould do without being adorable somehow.
"You look so much like Satine, but you're not her. That's alright though, I mean, you have good differences. Very... admirable differences. Although I can overlook basically anything..." he said, nearly drifting off into another Satine flashback. I couldn't just sit there and let it happen. He was dropping a hint at - something - and by the will of the Force, I was going to find out what.
"Like... what sort of differences?" I inquired innocently.
"Well, you don't cough. You don't have any sort of non-coughing, deathly disease do you?" Christian asked.
"Nope. I sneeze a lot though. Horrid allergies," I said.
"That's fine, as long as you don't die from it. You don't plan on dying any time soon do you?" he questioned.
"Not unless I have to go back through that mirror without you..." I said, batting my eyelashes at him.
"So that means you just might be a hopeless romantic?" he inquired.
"Yes!" I replied.
"With a love for poetry?" he questioned.
"Of course!"
"And you don't have a terrible job where you get paid in diamonds to indulge disgusting fantasies of married men? And you don't have to seduce a nasty, old duke do you?" he interrogated.
"No, no, of course not!" I stated, "Now, it's your turn. You're a lot like Obi-Wan, but you have certain charming qualities he lacks. You can sing and dance and recite poetry. But... do you have an ego that barely fits through star systems?"
"No," he replied.
"Great! And you don't have an annoying habit of reading my thoughts when I'm daydreaming?" I asked.
"Of course not. That's terribly rude to do - not that I know how," he said.
"Peachy! And... if I just so happened to be staring and drooling over you, you wouldn't be rude or anything?" I inquired.
"No, I'd be honored," he replied.
"Great! I'm happy!" I announced cheerfully.
"Well then, that settles it," Christian stated, suddenly standing up and grinning at me. Oh Force, I thought his voice was seductive, but just add the grin to it and...
"Settles what?" I said, struggling not to just faint from the beauty of the moment.
Suddenly the oh-so-dramatic poet burst into song announcing that, "We should be lovers!"
"We can't do that," I replied, but suddenly felt the need to kick myself many, many times.
"We should be lovers," he announced through song again, "and that's a fact."
You know, opportunities like that just don't happen. Come on, when was the last time some charming, adorable, poetic, dream guy of the galaxy burst into song and announced that you should, in fact, be his lover?
"Well, alright then. That's fine with me!" I said with a bright smile.
Christian hopped on his bed and sat with his back against the wall. He looked so comfortable and, well, dreamy. He grinned at me and said, "You're not going to make me sit all by myself over here, are you?"
Oh. Force. Oh. Force. OH! FORCE! As if I could honestly say no! My adorable, little padawan self strolled over and happily snuggled against Christian.
"So, you keep mentioning the jedi. What's it like to be one?" he asked softly.
"Well," I explained, "it's quite peaceful really. We meditate a lot and move things around with our minds. It's very quiet and time-consuming. But, sometimes we have to fight. We have this great weapon called a light sabre." I lightly tapped at the light sabre attached to my belt.
"Wait, wait, why give it such a fancy name? I mean, I could just drop my jedi knickers and show you a real lightsabre," he said with yet another wanna-be-evil grin.
"What?!" I exclaimed, blushing a much brighter shade of pink.
"Em, I'm sorry. It must be the bad influence of those Absinthe-drinking Bohemians upstairs," he murmered, blushing nearly the same color.
~*~
The trip to the Healers was interesting. Everyone stared at me down the long hallway, and I'm sure no one recognized me. But it felt good to be carried all the way by a big, strong, handsome man.
"You're going to be just fine, dearie," one of the Healer's said. "Everything checks out good, and you can leave to get some rest. Obi-Wan, can I ask you one thing in private?"
"Sure thing, Healer Robi," Obi-Wan said.
"Who is she? I most certainly never saw her before," Robi said.
"She's...my cousin!" Obi-Wan managed to think up a lie to cover for me. How sweet, now I have to be related to him. Too bad, if he could pay, I most surely would've given him quite a night.
Obi-Wan helped me walk back to Cerridwen's room. Walking in those flat boots was quite the interesting thing. My feet were so used to the high heels, that I almost fell backwards!
Suddenly, as I was sitting down I noticed something dangling at his waist. "What is that?" I asked.
"Oh this? It's a lightsaber," Obi-Wan said, about to pull it off his belt and show it to her. "It's a weapon and-"
"I'm sure it is," I said grinning. "Now why don't you drop your little Jedi knickers and show me-"
"What?!?!?!?" he interrupted.
"I wanted you to show me the real thing," I said, with a smirk across my lips.
Obi-Wan turned bright red. It was probably the first time he'd ever been talked to that way by anyone. "NO!"
"What, you don't like me?" I asked, pouting, putting on my sad, 'Come and play with me' face.
"It's...it's not that...you're just..." Obi-Wan said.
"Come on, spit it out," I said, proceeding to yank Obi-Wan's arm and pull him onto the bed. "Let's make love!"
Obi-Wan looked horrified. "WHAT?"
I started undoing Obi's pants, and started making animal noises. "Tiger!! Rawr rawr!"
"You're scaring me!" Obi-Wan said, giving me a Force shove to push me off of him. Unfortunately, he didn't know just how much power he had just used, and I was pushed across the room, landing right into Cerridwen's dresser...and knocking over the snow globe that was inconveniently placed on the edge of the dresser.
"Oops," I said, unsure of what exactly I had done.
"Oh no...Padawan Cerridwen will surely kill me for this!" Obi-Wan said, panicking.
"Stay calm Obi-Wan we don't even know if she's here, right?" I asked.
"Well...yes...but still, we have to do something...replace it, perhaps, before she gets back!" Obi-Wan said.
"How are we going to do that?" I asked, my hands on my hips.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. "But it's not like I could care that much," he smiled at me in the most sinister way I could have thought would come from such an innocent man's lips. "From now on, I'm forgetting about that stupid Padawan. Besides, all she did was drool over me...it serves her right!"
I smirked. "Drooled...over you? What a fool she was." Obi-Wan frowned. "I WAS KIDDING. Gosh, can't you take a joke?"
"Uh...so...Felicia is it?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yes. What do you want?" I asked, falling into a dazed state, I collapsed onto the bed next to Obi-Wan. Lying next to him was the best feeling I've ever had...it didn't compare to any man I was forced to sleep with.
"Do you want me to show you my lightsaber?" he asked.
I perked up, out of my dazed state. "You actually...want to?"
"NOT THAT LIGHTSABER!!" Obi-Wan yelled.
I pouted again. "I guess you don't go for the 'Smoldering Temptress' Look. Perhaps if I try for something a little less...rowdy?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.
"How about you act like yourself. No pretending to be someone else, just you," Obi-Wan suggested.