Disclaimer: Gravitation is Murakami-sama's.
The Difference Between Need and Want
by Yui Miyamoto
Chapter 1 - Natsukashii.
There was a boy in my class that annoyed me to no end. His voice was so loud and irritating that I used to cringe at the sound of it.
That and he used to shout a lot since that's how he expressed himself.
But one day, he came up to me and somehow all that melted away. I had learned to adjust to this voice, and even thought it was harmonious.
For when that summer vacation that boy named Shuichi left me...
...I realized how much I had missed that baka.
As I look at him practicing, he got frustrated and started to wail. It was me who had to comfort him. At first, I remember freaking out inside my head and the only thing I could do was hug him.
Wrapping my arms uncertainly around his crying body, I didn't know what he'd do since guys usually didn't do that kind of thing. But Shuichi? He hugged right back.
And I had never felt so warm in my life...
When he looked up to me that time he wanted some ice cream on a whim, I had no money. No means of walking all ten blocks for an atm...but that look.
He had to give me that LOOK...
"Thank you!" he happily cried to me as he licked his strawberry ice cream.
Inside my head, I wanted to hit my head against a piece of hard cement and shout, 'You baka!!!! What's wrong with you when it comes to Shuichi?!?!'
It didn't help that he was smiling so brightly and began to run around town while pulling my sleeve along. Though I screamed for him to stop, I laughed while chasing after him all over Tokyo...
But that was then. This is now.
My stupid feelings had not changed at all...
As I looked at Shuichi smiling as he slept on my couch, all these memories came rushing back to me. It was as if I were watching them falling apart and fading away from me.
I honestly felt like Shuichi had left me.
He was taking a nap, but I looked at him carefully while smoking on the balcony.
Like an idiot, my hand began to raise as if I could catch Shuichi in my hand. Then, he'd be mine forever, right?
As he is sleeping, he won't go anywhere and he'd be with me...but he was so far away...
An ache began to encompass my heart and I couldn't hide it. But being the way I had always been, I smiled...I always smiled...
...when Shuichi and I became part of a band...
...when Shuichi disappointed himself with our first songs...
...when we were taken by a major record label...
...when I had to get Yuki to go to him...
...when he went to Yuki...
...it was the final blow. Shuichi had become even more energetic that he usually was when Yuki was around.
I couldn't compare to that-
"Hiro? What are you thinking about?" Shuichi had awaken and I hadn't noticed as I drifted off in thought.
Shaking my head and smiling the familiar wistful smile, I said, "Nothing."
"Hiro?" Shuichi tugged on my shirt and blinked his eyes. "I've always wanted to ask you something."
"Go shoot." I nodded while lighting another cigarette.
"What do you really want?"
If only you knew...
Doki doki
...what's in front of me.
doki doki
Smoothly, I answered, "For Bad Luck to get better and better from here on."
He nodded, satisfied with my answer finding it sufficient. "Me too, but with Yuki also..." he trailed off.
* ache *
When he left, I took out a poem I had made a long time ago, but was going to adjust to be lyrics in our upcoming album:
I am always quiet
can't you see this isn't
good for you and me?
It's the distance that hurts me
but how come you are so near...
still cannot teach you.
Still cannot reach you.
There is no difference between
Want and Need
When it comes to you...
I want to become more
Than you think I am to you
To be more than I think
I should be,
but I'll just smile like always
hurting away behind the fence
I've built between us
as I look at you from afar.
but why are you so near
when I think you're so far?
Aching beyond belief,
I keep on reaching for you
though I know you won't understand
this concept of
reaching back.
There is no difference between
Want and Need
when it comes to you.
I took the cursed paper and crumpled it into a fist and began to cry silently in my dark bedroom.
The next day, I came into the recording studio for the next track of our album. But as I practiced my parts, I watched Shuichi carefully.
Want is something you just can live without but think you can't.
Need is something you must possess no matter the consequences, or else you'll die.
I don't know the difference anymore, Shuichi...
I miss you and you're right in front of me...
--
Author's note: I love this pairing too...
The Difference Between Need and Want
by Yui Miyamoto
Chapter 1 - Natsukashii.
There was a boy in my class that annoyed me to no end. His voice was so loud and irritating that I used to cringe at the sound of it.
That and he used to shout a lot since that's how he expressed himself.
But one day, he came up to me and somehow all that melted away. I had learned to adjust to this voice, and even thought it was harmonious.
For when that summer vacation that boy named Shuichi left me...
...I realized how much I had missed that baka.
As I look at him practicing, he got frustrated and started to wail. It was me who had to comfort him. At first, I remember freaking out inside my head and the only thing I could do was hug him.
Wrapping my arms uncertainly around his crying body, I didn't know what he'd do since guys usually didn't do that kind of thing. But Shuichi? He hugged right back.
And I had never felt so warm in my life...
When he looked up to me that time he wanted some ice cream on a whim, I had no money. No means of walking all ten blocks for an atm...but that look.
He had to give me that LOOK...
"Thank you!" he happily cried to me as he licked his strawberry ice cream.
Inside my head, I wanted to hit my head against a piece of hard cement and shout, 'You baka!!!! What's wrong with you when it comes to Shuichi?!?!'
It didn't help that he was smiling so brightly and began to run around town while pulling my sleeve along. Though I screamed for him to stop, I laughed while chasing after him all over Tokyo...
But that was then. This is now.
My stupid feelings had not changed at all...
As I looked at Shuichi smiling as he slept on my couch, all these memories came rushing back to me. It was as if I were watching them falling apart and fading away from me.
I honestly felt like Shuichi had left me.
He was taking a nap, but I looked at him carefully while smoking on the balcony.
Like an idiot, my hand began to raise as if I could catch Shuichi in my hand. Then, he'd be mine forever, right?
As he is sleeping, he won't go anywhere and he'd be with me...but he was so far away...
An ache began to encompass my heart and I couldn't hide it. But being the way I had always been, I smiled...I always smiled...
...when Shuichi and I became part of a band...
...when Shuichi disappointed himself with our first songs...
...when we were taken by a major record label...
...when I had to get Yuki to go to him...
...when he went to Yuki...
...it was the final blow. Shuichi had become even more energetic that he usually was when Yuki was around.
I couldn't compare to that-
"Hiro? What are you thinking about?" Shuichi had awaken and I hadn't noticed as I drifted off in thought.
Shaking my head and smiling the familiar wistful smile, I said, "Nothing."
"Hiro?" Shuichi tugged on my shirt and blinked his eyes. "I've always wanted to ask you something."
"Go shoot." I nodded while lighting another cigarette.
"What do you really want?"
If only you knew...
Doki doki
...what's in front of me.
doki doki
Smoothly, I answered, "For Bad Luck to get better and better from here on."
He nodded, satisfied with my answer finding it sufficient. "Me too, but with Yuki also..." he trailed off.
* ache *
When he left, I took out a poem I had made a long time ago, but was going to adjust to be lyrics in our upcoming album:
I am always quiet
can't you see this isn't
good for you and me?
It's the distance that hurts me
but how come you are so near...
still cannot teach you.
Still cannot reach you.
There is no difference between
Want and Need
When it comes to you...
I want to become more
Than you think I am to you
To be more than I think
I should be,
but I'll just smile like always
hurting away behind the fence
I've built between us
as I look at you from afar.
but why are you so near
when I think you're so far?
Aching beyond belief,
I keep on reaching for you
though I know you won't understand
this concept of
reaching back.
There is no difference between
Want and Need
when it comes to you.
I took the cursed paper and crumpled it into a fist and began to cry silently in my dark bedroom.
The next day, I came into the recording studio for the next track of our album. But as I practiced my parts, I watched Shuichi carefully.
Want is something you just can live without but think you can't.
Need is something you must possess no matter the consequences, or else you'll die.
I don't know the difference anymore, Shuichi...
I miss you and you're right in front of me...
--
Author's note: I love this pairing too...