Disclaimer: Gravitation has been created by Maki Murakami and I just write this fanfic because of all the people I've met through this awesome series.
The Difference Between Need and Want
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 11 - You can't.
"Where is that baka?" I slept, well, actually trying to go to sleep.
I laid there awake for how many hours of the night trying to figure out if I was playing a game tossing and turning or am I really grateful that it was peaceful.
But this was a dead silence that held no peace.
I had gotten upset with Shuichi again. And I had hurt his feelings.
Even though it sometimes wasn't his fault...
...I acted as if it were...
...I didn't mean to...I just couldn't express my feelings any other way...
Getting up and giving up, I sat on the couch and began to smoke for the umpteenth time that morning as I grew sick with worry. Even though I had a feeling he was with Hiro, that didn't help my situation.
It actually made it much worse.
I looked at that telephone as if it were going to bite me.
That and that I hated talking to people when they had menial things to say to me.
Like my sister and her insecurities about Seguchi-san...
How she could think that I'd do something like that would piss almost anyone off.
And Shuichi was in the middle of it.
He just came to the wrong place at the wrong time.
ARGH.
I sighed there as I took my jacket with a huff and that cigarette still stuck in my mouth and locked the door harshly behind me. With that menacing look in my eyes, I drove around.
Where would he go? Who would he see? We've many friends and acquaintances, but...
"There's only one place he'd go at this time." My eyes became slits as I distastefully said to myself, "Hiroshi Nakano."
I liked him all right. It's just that he always looked at Shuichi with the same eye I did. Only thing was that I had him and he didn't.
He thinks he can threat me? I don't think so.
But the way I'm feeling right now and the way Shuichi left without a word...
...I think this is the breaking point.
Without an umbrella or any discretion because I didn't even notice how wet I was, I knocked on his door. There was a shuffle that came to the door.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming already. Sheesh."
With the lock still intact, the door was slightly opened. "Hello."
I glared at him. "Give him back."
"Who are you talking about?"
My eyes even became more squinted as my eyebrows were almost touching each other. "I want Shuichi. Now give him back."
"No." As Hiro was about to close the door, I pushed the door.
"Who is it, Hiro?" I heard in the back of him.
"Just Yuki."
Silence. We all stood silent.
"You are making a scene." Then, he said something I didn't think he'd ever say to me. "Go home, Yuki."
The boy that had always whined and complained of not getting any attention from me was now telling me to go away.
I stood there as if I was slapped in the face. Then, I did something I didn't think I'd ever do...
I broke the chain lock as I pushed the door and came into the apartment. Holding onto Hiro's wrist, I pushed him to the wall. "He's with you for one night, and you think it's all right."
Hiro just stared back at me with nothing to say as my tone became more deadly towards him. "Just because you've known him longer, you think that you can keep him."
Banging him against the wall, I said, "Well, I'm saying you can't! YOU CAN'T!!"
"Why? I've known him, but I don't hurt him as much as you do." He glared at me even more. "I take care of him as one should!"
I gripped his shoulders even more. "You think you love him better than me, don't you, Hiro-kun?"
Then, he smirked at me happily with two squinting eyes saying, "Yes."
I couldn't hold back and I started punching him over and over shouting, "You can't! YOU CAN'T! I KNOW YOU CAN'T!"
The yelling to stop came to a halt as I heard Shuichi whisper,
"Yukii..."
I'm acting like a little kid...
I'm watching someone else do this...
This isn't me...
He grabbed my shoulders and began to punch me back, "Why can't I, Yuki?! You think you can waltz into his life and expect him to always adjust his life for yours?! NO!!!"
That's it...
The animalistic look was in my eye. All I could see was red...
And then I clutched onto Hiro's shirt and turned him around as I looked down at him. Banging him on the floor, I now lifted my voice and shouted, "I don't know why I love that baka! I JUST DO!"
"Stop hurting him, Yuki." And Shuichi hugged me from the back. "Please, Yuuukkiii...."
He began to cry and I let Hiro go. Looking to the ground, clenched my fists so tightly as my lip began to bleed because I bit it so hard to keep from saying anymore and for the things I couldn't say.
He's crying...
I made him cry again...
"Maybe I can't say some things...Maybe I can't do some things..." I sighed. "I know that very well."
Shuichi still held onto my waist from the back. "I know I always make you cry...but..."
Holding my tears, my pride wouldn't let me cry. I pushed off his arms and turned around to face him. With my thumb, I smiled softly at him with a sorrowful look and wiped his tears away. "But you know what, Shuichi?"
"Yeah?"
"You're my blind game." I let go of him and began to walk out.
"I'll pay for the lock." Stopping at the doorway, I said harshly to Hiro, "You make one wrong move with him, and I'll be here to kill you."
He's not even running after me like he usually does...
I cannot accept this...
He has chosen Hiro...
Then, I walked out without looking back. Putting my hand in my pocket, I took out a cigarette and lit it.
My pride won't let me do anything for anyone.
I can't show or tell my feelings and that's why I'm always frustrated with people...
Wiping a tear away as I put on my shades in the car to start the engine, I thought,
"You may as well, Hiro...
...but I know better. And so I know you don't.
He drives me crazy to the point that I can't think straight...
I love him so much that it would scare you...
Only for this boy would I do anything for...
Only him..."
You ask so many damn questions!!!
Punching the steering wheel, my car gave a loud yell.
BEEEEPPP!
After pressing the car horn and leaning forward with my arms over my face, I, who wouldn't cry for anyone or anything in my life but Yuki, broke down in public and cried for Shuichi...
I...I can't explain why I love you...
I just do...
Isn't that a good enough explanation?
Isn't that a good enough explanation for you, Shuichi?
--
Author's note: Well, well, isn't this bad? I went from character to character only to find the theme just screamed out in blood here in this chapter...
Aww...Yuuukkiii~! * glomp *
This is dedicated to all the people supporting my writing so far...
I'm so completely touched that you can't understand how happy I am.
But most of all, it's Isshi's fault. She smiled at me and then she just had to encourage me until I wrote and wrote and wrote...
The Difference Between Need and Want
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 11 - You can't.
"Where is that baka?" I slept, well, actually trying to go to sleep.
I laid there awake for how many hours of the night trying to figure out if I was playing a game tossing and turning or am I really grateful that it was peaceful.
But this was a dead silence that held no peace.
I had gotten upset with Shuichi again. And I had hurt his feelings.
Even though it sometimes wasn't his fault...
...I acted as if it were...
...I didn't mean to...I just couldn't express my feelings any other way...
Getting up and giving up, I sat on the couch and began to smoke for the umpteenth time that morning as I grew sick with worry. Even though I had a feeling he was with Hiro, that didn't help my situation.
It actually made it much worse.
I looked at that telephone as if it were going to bite me.
That and that I hated talking to people when they had menial things to say to me.
Like my sister and her insecurities about Seguchi-san...
How she could think that I'd do something like that would piss almost anyone off.
And Shuichi was in the middle of it.
He just came to the wrong place at the wrong time.
ARGH.
I sighed there as I took my jacket with a huff and that cigarette still stuck in my mouth and locked the door harshly behind me. With that menacing look in my eyes, I drove around.
Where would he go? Who would he see? We've many friends and acquaintances, but...
"There's only one place he'd go at this time." My eyes became slits as I distastefully said to myself, "Hiroshi Nakano."
I liked him all right. It's just that he always looked at Shuichi with the same eye I did. Only thing was that I had him and he didn't.
He thinks he can threat me? I don't think so.
But the way I'm feeling right now and the way Shuichi left without a word...
...I think this is the breaking point.
Without an umbrella or any discretion because I didn't even notice how wet I was, I knocked on his door. There was a shuffle that came to the door.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming already. Sheesh."
With the lock still intact, the door was slightly opened. "Hello."
I glared at him. "Give him back."
"Who are you talking about?"
My eyes even became more squinted as my eyebrows were almost touching each other. "I want Shuichi. Now give him back."
"No." As Hiro was about to close the door, I pushed the door.
"Who is it, Hiro?" I heard in the back of him.
"Just Yuki."
Silence. We all stood silent.
"You are making a scene." Then, he said something I didn't think he'd ever say to me. "Go home, Yuki."
The boy that had always whined and complained of not getting any attention from me was now telling me to go away.
I stood there as if I was slapped in the face. Then, I did something I didn't think I'd ever do...
I broke the chain lock as I pushed the door and came into the apartment. Holding onto Hiro's wrist, I pushed him to the wall. "He's with you for one night, and you think it's all right."
Hiro just stared back at me with nothing to say as my tone became more deadly towards him. "Just because you've known him longer, you think that you can keep him."
Banging him against the wall, I said, "Well, I'm saying you can't! YOU CAN'T!!"
"Why? I've known him, but I don't hurt him as much as you do." He glared at me even more. "I take care of him as one should!"
I gripped his shoulders even more. "You think you love him better than me, don't you, Hiro-kun?"
Then, he smirked at me happily with two squinting eyes saying, "Yes."
I couldn't hold back and I started punching him over and over shouting, "You can't! YOU CAN'T! I KNOW YOU CAN'T!"
The yelling to stop came to a halt as I heard Shuichi whisper,
"Yukii..."
I'm acting like a little kid...
I'm watching someone else do this...
This isn't me...
He grabbed my shoulders and began to punch me back, "Why can't I, Yuki?! You think you can waltz into his life and expect him to always adjust his life for yours?! NO!!!"
That's it...
The animalistic look was in my eye. All I could see was red...
And then I clutched onto Hiro's shirt and turned him around as I looked down at him. Banging him on the floor, I now lifted my voice and shouted, "I don't know why I love that baka! I JUST DO!"
"Stop hurting him, Yuki." And Shuichi hugged me from the back. "Please, Yuuukkiii...."
He began to cry and I let Hiro go. Looking to the ground, clenched my fists so tightly as my lip began to bleed because I bit it so hard to keep from saying anymore and for the things I couldn't say.
He's crying...
I made him cry again...
"Maybe I can't say some things...Maybe I can't do some things..." I sighed. "I know that very well."
Shuichi still held onto my waist from the back. "I know I always make you cry...but..."
Holding my tears, my pride wouldn't let me cry. I pushed off his arms and turned around to face him. With my thumb, I smiled softly at him with a sorrowful look and wiped his tears away. "But you know what, Shuichi?"
"Yeah?"
"You're my blind game." I let go of him and began to walk out.
"I'll pay for the lock." Stopping at the doorway, I said harshly to Hiro, "You make one wrong move with him, and I'll be here to kill you."
He's not even running after me like he usually does...
I cannot accept this...
He has chosen Hiro...
Then, I walked out without looking back. Putting my hand in my pocket, I took out a cigarette and lit it.
My pride won't let me do anything for anyone.
I can't show or tell my feelings and that's why I'm always frustrated with people...
Wiping a tear away as I put on my shades in the car to start the engine, I thought,
"You may as well, Hiro...
...but I know better. And so I know you don't.
He drives me crazy to the point that I can't think straight...
I love him so much that it would scare you...
Only for this boy would I do anything for...
Only him..."
You ask so many damn questions!!!
Punching the steering wheel, my car gave a loud yell.
BEEEEPPP!
After pressing the car horn and leaning forward with my arms over my face, I, who wouldn't cry for anyone or anything in my life but Yuki, broke down in public and cried for Shuichi...
I...I can't explain why I love you...
I just do...
Isn't that a good enough explanation?
Isn't that a good enough explanation for you, Shuichi?
--
Author's note: Well, well, isn't this bad? I went from character to character only to find the theme just screamed out in blood here in this chapter...
Aww...Yuuukkiii~! * glomp *
This is dedicated to all the people supporting my writing so far...
I'm so completely touched that you can't understand how happy I am.
But most of all, it's Isshi's fault. She smiled at me and then she just had to encourage me until I wrote and wrote and wrote...