Disclaimer- We do not own any of these characters, even if we wish hard enough! All owned by other
people and we are not making any profit from this.
Author's note:
Ronica-This is the result of two ELF-ers that have too much free time and just wanted to goof off.
Jessica-Not to be taken seriously! But then again, we are never serious, are we???
Ronica- I was speaking Jess... We are not speaking for all the ELFS out there.
Jessica- yeah they have class!
Ronica- Jessica....
Jessica- *rolls eyes* fine, I let you say the note... geez, I am just trying to help but no..oww...*holds head in
pain*
Ronica- holding a base ball bat* Like I was saying, This story is just us being alittle weird…Enjoy.
The ELF Adventures of Ronica and Jessica
By: JOxER and Purple Penguin
"I'm coming," yelled Jessica Jolivette as the doorbell to her house rang. She was setting the chips and sodas
down on the living room table when the doorbell rang again. Jessica looked at her wristwatch. 'She is early,
it is only 6 PM,' Jessica thought but was interrupted as the doorbell rang again. "I told ya I am coming!" she
yelled again and went running to the door.
"Hey Jessica, took ya long enough," replied Ronica Hermosillo as her friend opened the door.
"I was busy!" Jessica shot back. Ronica only gave her a whatever look and walked, carrying her backpack
and a bag full of junk food, inside the 2-story house.
As the Jessica closed the door, her parents were coming down to the first floor. They were both dressed for
a special occasion.
"You girls behave," Jessica's dad warned the two girls.
"We will be home around midnight so don't wait up." Jessica's mom said. "The numbers for the play and
the restaurant are on the fridge."
"Don't worry you two. What can go wrong?!" Jessica replied with a evil grin.
"Don't start, Jess," Her father warned.
"Sorry, we will be OK. We will shut all the doors and windows and have the gun ready for any possible
intruders!"
"JESS..." Jessica's dad warned as the two girls laughed their heads off.
"We will be fine. Go on, have a great time!" Ronica said.
"Bye honey," Jessica's mom leaned over and gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead.
The two girls watched the couple exit the house and ran toward the window to see them drive away from the
house. The two girls simply looked at each other and grinned- freedom!.
"So did you bring them?"
"Ya think I forgot, Jess?"
"Yes, Roni!"
"I am hurt." Ronica said as she threw her backpack to Jessica. Jessica caught the pack and ran toward the
living room. Ronica followed as they both sat themselves on the couch. Jessica looked in the bag and was
very happy on her findings.
"I can't believe it, the whole series!!! We got all night to watch them!!!" Jessica said as she read the titles of
each VHS tape. "So which one should we watch first?"
"I love Stingers, or what about Nothing But The Truth? Or we can start with Siamese Dream??? Oh so
many to choose from!"
"No, what about Weapons of War, Fords eyes are just incredible when Lucas got hurt!"
"Wait, before we get into a fight like last time, why not leave it up to fate?" Ronica said as she took the
pack from Jessica. She placed all the videos back in her pack and shook them around inside the pack. "You
choose one!" Ronica held the pack to Jessica and Jessica reached in and pulled out a video.
"Special Delivery?" Jessica questioned. She was hoping for another one.
"I never really saw that episode... its the one where that evil twin Dagwood beats up Lucas remember?"
"Yeah but I don't watch it because they don't show HOW Dagwood hurt Lucas..."
"Yeah, go fig why the producer did that... but remember when Dagwood picked up Lucas and landed him
hard on the motorcycle" Ronica said as she began to laugh.
"Yeah, that was the only good part! But oh well, can't go back on fate." Jessica said as she stood up to
place the tape in the VCR. By the time she got back, Ronica was eating half the snacks and Jessica gave her
an evil look. Ronica just laugh as she popped more chips in her mouth and waited for Jessica to play the
tape.
Jessica grabbed the TV remote and sat herself back down to the couch. She hit the power and play button at
the same time.
"Hey, I heard you can blow your VCR if push all the buttons at the same time!!!" Ronica dared her friend.
"Oh is that so!" Jessica said as she frantically pushed all the buttons to the remote control, never knowing
that she was pushing a combination of codes. Jessica had pushed every single button and saw that the VCR
was still there. She wanted to call Ronica a liar when some strange noises were coming from the VCR.
Jessica stood up and checked it out. "Oh no, I think the VCR ate your tape."
"Hell no!" Ronica screamed as she went to see for herself. She tried hitting the eject button but there was no
use. The tape was in there. Ronica tried all the buttons in the VCR when suddenly the VCR shot out a
blinding light. The light made the whole room look white and Ronica and Jessica shield their eyes from the
light. When they removed the hands that were protecting their eyes, they were not in the living room
anymore. They were in front of a big gloomy house and it was really dark.
"I don't think we are in Kans..."
"Don't even think about it, Ronica." Jessica snapped back as they both heard noises coming from the house.
Curiosity got the best of them and they went to spy in a window. There, they saw something they could only
dream of- Dagwood was in the house.
"Oh no, it can't be!" Ronica assured herself that she was only dreaming the whole thing. "OMG!" she yelled
as a thought hit her. She quickly looked around her and she reconized her surroundings. "What we did ...
this is the Special Delivery episode!"
"But how?" Jessica said as she also reconized the house.
"The remote!" Ronica yelled as Jessica went to her pocket and felt the remote. "I think we opened a new
dimension from pushing the buttons on the remote. Do you know what that means?"
"Yes, that we are stuck in a episode and no way of going home! I have a big test on Monday!"
"NO, ok, look- Dagwood, well it is not Dagwood, but he will kill that doctor sitting in that chair." Ronica
said as the GELF killed the doctor. "You see, then in two days, Dagwood would escape from the hotel and
remember what happens next." Jessica shook her head. "Lucas will come looking for him down the
highway. Don't you know what that means?!"
Jessica began to think, of course! Lucas would be all alone, they could snatch him somehow and make their
stories a reality. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering!" Jessica asked.
"I think so, Brain, but were are we going to find a cheese house opened this late" Ronica mimicked
Pinkie from Pinkie and the Brain cartoons.
"No Pinkie, we are going to have fun with our little friend named Lucas!"
"OH!" the two girls walked away from the house and onto the road.
"Ok, we have two days, how much cash do we have together?"
"I have 71 dollars. And a button. You?" Ronica replied.
"Umm.. 69 dollars. OK that is a total of 130 dollars."
"140, my dear."
"Oh sorry, well, we can go rent a car and buy the stuff that we need."
"But where are we going to stash the stuff?"
"There are always houses empty around here. We just will have to find one after we rent the car. An old
creepy house!"
"Yeah, OK. It's a plan!" the two girls walked into the small town, as echoes of evil laughs filled the quite
sky.
As they reached the town, they passed a hardware store; Ronica suddenly stopped and grabbed Jessica's
hand. "This is it! We're here!"
Jessica looked around disinterestedly. "Roni, we're ELFs, not handy-men. What the heck would we want
with this place?"
Ronica rolled her eyes impatiently. "Man, are you new at this?! They've got all kinds of great stuff in
here." With that, she pulled Jessica into the store with her and expertly led her around the store. "Look at
this stuff – rope, chains, hammer, nails …." Ronica said as she pushed the shopping cart through the
allies! "An ELF toy store Jess!"
"A hammer and nails?" Jess asked in wonder. "What are you planning, Roni? You wanna build Lucas a
new desk for his computer or something?"
"Would you quit thinking like suburbian chick and start thinkin' like an ELF?! A hammer is always good
to have around; it has unlimited possibilities. If Lucas tries to get away, we can knock him over the head
with it, probably cause a really nice concussion and it's even forceful enough to draw blood!"
"And the nails?"
"We drop 'em in a puddle of dirty water for a while and then let 'em dry," Roni grinned mischievously.
"What a shame it would be for poor little Lucas to fall on a rusty nail, huh?"
"Ohhhhh," Jess grinned back, finally catching on. "I get it. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's see
what else we can find!" With that, the two girls went back to work, losing themselves in the fantasies of
pain, torture, and cruelty that were about to be realized. All in all, they spent $72 dollars in the hardware
store and came out with each of their arms filled with good stuff. When they stepped outside, they heard
sirens blasting as emergency vehicles went racing down the street.
"Hey, what do you think is going on?" Ronica asked.
"I don't know," Jessica answered. Then suddenly she realized, "Oh gosh, I bet those are the guys who
are going to arrest Dagwood …. errrr, I mean, Dag's evil twin …. I mean, Dagwood …. I don't know,
I'm so confused!"
"They actually arrest Dagwood, which means his evil twin, the one who actually killed Dr. Brown, is still
on the loose somewhere, so we gotta be careful, Jess," Ronica warned.
Jessica rolled her eyes. "Ronica, WE are not even part of this episode, remember? No one can hurt us.
We're just fans," she emphasized.
"If we're not part of this episode, then why am I holding a bag full of ELF-certified torture devices ready
to strike Lucas the minute he comes whizzing past on Bridger's motorcycle?" Ronica asked sarcastically.
"Because you are the type of person who plays Hangman just so you can lose and get to be the one who
hangs the man!" Jessica exclaimed as Ronica smiled, it was a fact. "Don't get paranoid on me, Roni. This is
gonna be a blast!"
"OK, then don't come crying to me when a big, bad Dagwood look-alike comes around," Ronica
shrugged, letting the subject drop. "Come on, we gotta go rent a car before my arms fall off from
carrying all this stuff." The girls found a car rental and rented a black truck, a 1985 F-150. Ronica
insisted on driving it and immediately began gushing. "Isn't it a beauty, Jess? It's a classic, got a V8
engine, an extra cab, 4 wheel drive …."
"OK, Roni, stop drooling all over it already," Jess teased. "Where are we going?"
Ronica just smiled. "Well, first we're going on a little cruise."
As Ronica sped down the down the highway, Jess kicked herself for letting her drive, 'She is a maniac!'
Jess yelled in her head as she gripped the handle near the door for dear life. Ronica was too in love with
her truck to see the look of fear in her eyes. Ronica turned on the radio and blasted it to full volume.
Jessica tried to protest the rock song but then decided not to and looked out the window instead. She then
saw something out of the corner of her eye… 'That's it!' Jessica yelled to herself.
"Stop the truck!" Jessica yelled to the insane driver. Ronica was trying to sing the rock song and she
couldn't hear Jessica yelling for her to stop. Jessica grew mad and grabbed hold of the wheel and made
the truck turn to the side of the road. Ronica braked real hard.
"What the hell are you on?!" Ronica replied as the truck came to screeching halt.
"BACK UP NOW!" Jessica yelled.
"WHY?" Ronica yelled back.
"I saw something… perfect!" Jessica said with an evil grin.
"Fine" Ronica rolled her eyes and started to back up. Jessica told her to turn right on the dirt road that
was behind them and went down the road. Jessica couldn't hold back her excitement and began to jump
in the passenger seat as they passed a FOR SALE sign. Ronica was more confused and hoped that
Jessica was not having a mental break down.
A couple of blocks away, Jessica saw what she had seen from the highway - it was a very old run down
house … well, maybe it was only a few years old but the old paint and the yard condition made the house
look ancient.
"This is why you dragged me to the middle of nowhere, to look at this piece of crap?!" Ronica said.
"Please, don't you see the possibilities here!"
"What??"
"Welcome to our little hide-out, Ronica. It is perfect, it is deserted and no one in sight for miles!!! Come
on!" Jessica said as Ronica stopped the truck. The truck was still going as Jessica jumped out of the
truck and ran towards the house. Ronica stopped the truck and locked all the doors and wiped a dead bug
from the windshield.
"Stop playing with your truck; come on," Jessica yelled to Ronica. She couldn't believe Ronica was so
obsessed with that stupid truck.
Ronica wiped the bug with her sleeve and then walked toward Jessica. Jessica was already inside the
house when Ronica opened the front door. The house from the outside looked terrible but the inside was
not that bad.
"Jess? Where are you Jess?" Ronica said, the house had some light coming through the windows but it
was still creepy. She heard from a distance Jess calling her name and Ronica went toward the voice. She
passed through the halls and the kitchen and found that the back door was open. She stepped outside and
yelled for Jessica again.
"Here, come down here! It is soo perfect!" Jessica yelled to Ronica. Ronica screamed from fright as she
turned to Jessica. She came out from double doors that seemed to lead to the basement of the house.
"Come on, scaredy cat!" Jessica laughed as she disappeared down the basement.
Ronica followed Jessica and found the Jessica admiring every inch of the basement.
"It is so perfect! Bring the stuff down here!!!" Jessica yelled as an evil plot began to take form in her
head.
"Do I look like your slave?!" Ronica yelled.
"Do I have to answer that?" Jessica said as Ronica crossed her arms. "Fine, I will help you! Come on,
this is going to be fun!!" With that, the two girls exited the basement and unloaded the truck. Jessica
laughed when she pretend to hit the truck and Ronica went to check out the damage. 'She needs to get a
life,' Jessica thought as Ronica began to wipe the dirt off the rear view mirrors. After they unloaded the
stuff from the truck, their stomachs began to rumble.
"I wonder if there is a nice Taco Bell here," Ronica hinted to her friend that she was hungry.
"Come on, but this time I drive!" Jessica said as she took the keys from Ronica pocket. Ronica was
going to protest but first of all she was hungry.
"All right, let's head into town." Ronica said as she climbed in the passengers seat and turned on the
radio. Jessica buckled up and drove off toward the town.
The first place that they came across to eat at that they could both agree on was a White Castle. They
sat for over an hour, eating what they thought were mini-hamburgers and fries, and coming up with a plan of
action. Finally, they left and returned to the house, prepared to go turn the basement into a torture chamber
for their favorite little blonde-haired genius.
Ronica immediately started toward the door to the basement. "Wait!" Jessica exclaimed. "First we gotta
scout out the rest of the house and see if there's any good stuff lying around."
Ronica grinned, "Great idea." So the girls began exploring the lower level of the house. The kitchen
turned out to be very useful, stocked with plenty of knives and other cooking instruments that looked like
they would make funky little weapons if necessary.
"Hey Roni, why do you think there's so much stuff in this house if it's for sale? Wouldn't the old owners
have taken this stuff with them?" Jessica asked.
"Good question. I don't know," Ronica answered as she turned the corner into the living room.
"Aughhhh!" she suddenly yelped.
Jessica came running. "What?!? What is it??" she asked frantically. By the time Jessica reached her,
Ronica had already caught her breath and started laughing. "What's so funny?" Jessica thought that
maybe her friend was losing her mind. Maybe getting sucked into the TV does that to a person? ……
"Jess, look!" Ronica exclaimed excitedly, pointing wildly around the room. Jessica looked and her mouth
dropped open. It was an ELF's paradise! The first thing that caught her eye was a large noose hanging
from a hole in the ceiling, and the best part was that around the ring of the noose there was a pink tint,
hinting that it had been used before. Hanging on the walls, instead of the ordinary paintings and
decorations, were axes and lances and sheets of metal. There were metal chains draped along the top of
the four walls, kind of resembling the Christmas lights that ELF use to decorate the infamous torture
chamber during the holidays. Shooting out from the walls all around the room were long metal spikes.
There was a small table placed on the side of the room with one chair at its side. On the arm rests of the
chair hanged several pairs of hand-cuffs, dangling innocently in the breeze created by the large black fan
sitting behind it. On the table sat a discarded syringe, half-full with a murky, blue-colored liquid. On the
wall on the opposite side of the room was a medicine cabinet, which held several bottles of liquids of
every color of the rainbow (How pretty, Ronica thought dreamily.). In the corner of the room, right
behind Ronica and Jessica, was a small dark crate. Ronica walked over to the crate and cautiously
peered inside. She looked up with a Jack-O-Lantern smile on her face. "Jess, you gotta see this."
Jessica walked over and looked. Inside the crate were dozens of rats, most of them scrambling around
and clawing at each other. They're starving, she realized delightedly. They would happily chew on
anything offered to them, and they would love the warm blood of a teenager shackled to the cold cement
floor of the dark and dreary basement. Jessica began to lick her lips greedily. "Ronica, how … how did
we get so lucky? Why do you think this stuff is here? What the heck kind of people owned this house?!"
Ronica was still looking around at the room with a wistful look on her face. "Who cares?" she
responded. "If there is a God, He is definitely an ELF." She gave Jessica a knowing look. "We gotta
check out the rest of the house!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah!" With that, the girls took off running though the rest of the house. "Man, I wish we had Lucas
here tonight!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly.
Ronica grinned, "Don't worry, Jess. We'll have our fun!"
Ronica and Jess went back to the basement and brought all the toys up to the house and into their new
torture room. After everything was done and planned out, Jessica looked at her wristwatch and yawned.
"Can't believe it's almost midnight!"
"I know, times flies when ya having fun!!" Ronica said as she followed Jessica with a yawn of her own.
"One more day, Jess, one more day!"
"I know.. but isn't this... I mean, we never would have done this in real life right?" Jessica said. She
always loved writing about pain and torturing Lucas but this was serious; this was going to be live and
real!
"Who is that talking? You told me this is not real remember? Now, all of a sudden, you got a
conscience!!! Get real girl, this is going to be fun!" Ronica reassured her friend that it was a perfect thing
to do.
The two girls returned to the truck to sleep in. They loved the house and all but it was still creepy to sleep
in.
Ronica sat in the drivers seat and stretched her legs to the passengers seat while Jessica took the extra
cab seat.
"Ronica..." Jessica had one question that was bothering her
"What is it…?" Ronica replied in a sleepy voice.
"After we do this, how are we going back home?"
"Huh?"
"So we torture Lucas for what, a month.. this is going to get old fast you know.... How do we get back
home? And what happens if someone finds us... we are going to jail..."
"Don't get so worried on me; remember how we got here?"
"The remote?"
"Yeah, all we do is push all the buttons again and we are home free!"
"How do you know if that would work?"
"I just do; now go to sleep before I knock you out!'
"Like you can try! Goodnight..." With in minutes, the two girls were asleep with huge smiles on their
faces... pleasant dreams for sure.
Early the next morning, the two girls went to town again for some food. Jessica insisted on going to the
White Castle but Ronica thought their food sucked. Ronica dragged Jessica to Sizzlers. After they paid
their bills, they were shocked that they only had around 20 bucks and Ronica's button to spend.
"This is not good!" Jessica replied.
"Wait … let's try the other cash!" Ronica said as she reached for her wallet in her back pocket.
"What would that be!" Jessica said as she crossed her arms. 'She been holding out on me' Jessica
thought.
"Plastic!" Ronica said as she whipped out her Verizon credit card.
"Let's go!" Jessica said as they went to the near by medical store to test the card out. They bought some
more stuff - including some sleeping pills and some empty syringes. The clerk asked for ID and
everything went smoothly. Next was going to the sport store and buying a fishing net, a flashlight with a
month supply of batteries, a b-b gun, a large blanket and a cool baseball bat. Jessica wonders what goes
on inside that little head of Ronica's and the two girls were off again on another shopping spree - this
time for some clothes and shoes! After spending around 1000 bucks at all the stores, they went to eat at
the White Castle. Ronica took some food in a doggie bag and left for home. Before leaving, Jessica went
to a liquor store and bought some junk food. Ronica only looked at her, thinking that she had gone nutts,
as she drove back home. The two girls went back to the house and repeated their plan in their heads until
they knew each step by heart. Ronica went to feed the rats the food she brought while Jessica looked at
her clock.
"Come on Ronica, it is 10 pm, let's get step one done now!" Jessica said.
"I'm coming, can't let these creatures die on us before the main guest arrives!"
"Stop it with those rats, they can eat plenty when we bring Lucas..."
"Oh hush up! I'm coming!" Ronica said as she closed the hatch door to the rats. She grabbed some rope,
the blanket and her baseball bat and loaded the truck up. Jessica followed with the junk food in hand and
they were off again. They drove to the highway where they knew Lucas would be riding by at 11 am.
They parked the car along side the road behind a bush and waited.
"12 more hours and counting!" Jessica said.
"Glad to see the ELF in you hasn't died out, Jess!"
"Sorry about that, I think I was going through a guilty stage."
"Understandable... just don't let that happen again!" Ronica said as she yawned. "This takes a lot out of
us, huh?"
"Yup... very tiring!!" Jessica said.
"Well, set your alarm at 9 am and see ya in the morning!" Ronica said as she leaned her head back and
closed her eyes.
Jessica programmed her wristwatch to 9 am and also fell asleep.
*-*-*
A small beeping awoke Ronica from her nice dream- no explanation on what it was- and shook Jessica
awake. The two girls began to laugh slightly as 11 am neared. The two girls stomachs started to rumble
and Jessica pulled out her junk food. Ronica thanked her for being a genius and began to eat. It was
10:45 and each second passed like an hour to the girls. Ronica was just about to turn on the radio when
she spotted something in the rear view mirror. She quickly turned on the truck and put it on drive.
"Was is it?!" Jessica said with excitement.
"Our little boy is right on time" Ronica said at the same time a black motor cycle passed their truck.
"It's show time!" Jessica said as Ronica began to pick up speed and was right behind the black
motorcycle.
The girls followed closely behind the motorcycle, watching as Lucas swerved back and forth between
the lanes on the road. "OK," Jessica was practically jumping up and down in her seat. "Now all we gotta
do is get him off that bike and into our truck."
"That sounds like the title to a bad country song, Jess," Ronica informed her.
"Sorry," Jessica grinned.
Ronica slammed the gas pedal down to the floor and the tires squealed. The girls saw Lucas look back in
his side mirrors, obviously wondering who the maniacs were driving behind him. Ronica took advantage
of the moment and pulled up right behind him, and then she gently nudged the back of his motorcycle.
Lucas wobbled a bit but managed to stay upright. Ronica was overjoyed as she pictured the look of fear
in Lucas' eyes as he studied her from his side mirrors.
"Harder, Roni!" Jessica urged. "You gotta hit him harder!"
"All right, hang on!" Roni practically yelled in her excitement, and she rammed up into the back of
Lucas' motorcycle, causing Lucas to lose control and tip over, flying into the ditch on the side of the
highway. Ronica and Jessica cheered and Ronica slammed on her brakes and backed up to the place
where Lucas had fallen off the bike. The girls all but ran from the truck and went in search of the young
genius.
They found Lucas lying on his side in some muddy water at the bottom of the ditch. "You don't think we
killed him, do you?" Jessica asked nervously as they made their way down to Lucas.
"Nah, don't worry about it. Lucas doesn't die that easily, remember?" Ronica answered with more
confidence than she felt. Both girls were extremely relieved to find Lucas still breathing when the finally
reached him and rolled him over. After all, you can't torture someone who's already dead.
Ronica removed the black helmet from Lucas' head to find a little trail of blood coming from his cheek.
Ronica grabbed Lucas' arms and Jessica took his legs and the girls attempted to carry Lucas back up to
the highway. About halfway up, Jessica suddenly groaned and dropped Lucas' legs, causing Ronica to
lose her balance and nearly tumble back down into the ditch.
"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Ronica yelled.
"Sorry," Jessica said apologetically, "but he is just so heavy. I thought he was supposed to be really
skinny and underweight, but the guy weighs a ton!"
Ronica rolled her eyes. "He does not weigh a ton, and he is super skinny. Look!" she exclaimed as she
pulled up the layers of clothes to expose his bare chest, "you can practically count every single rib!"
"Then why's he so heavy?" Jess whined.
Ronica gave her a playful nudge. "Maybe you're just a weakling after all."
Jessica stuck her tongue out at her friend and grabbed a hold of Lucas' legs again, this time determined
to make it all the way to the truck. This time, they made it all the way to the pavement when Ronica
suddenly let go of Lucas' arms.
"Ooomph," Jessica gasped as she tripped over Lucas and went sprawling across the highway. "Hey …."
"Jess, he moved!" Ronica exclaimed. Jessica's eyes widened and the girls immediately grabbed the rope
and the baseball bat from the back of the truck and stood over Lucas. Jessica immediately began tying up
Lucas' feet before he regained consciousness.
Lucas' eyelids fluttered a bit, and then he moaned softly and opened his bright blue eyes. Both girls took
a moment to drool and then went back to the business at hand. Lucas squinted at the two girls hovering
over him and then sat straight up, taking into account the rather large baseball bat in the brunette's hands.
"What the …! What are you doing?! Who are you?" Lucas exclaimed as he tried to struggle to his feet,
only to find that they were tied together.
"I wouldn't fight us if I were you," Ronica warned him, holding the bat high above her head, ready to
strike. Lucas looked at them with large, frightened eyes and stopped struggling. "Good boy," Ronica
praised him. "Now, my colleague here is going to have to tie your hands behind your back now. I hope
you don't mind," she said as she motioned for Jess to tie him up.
"Wait!" Lucas exclaimed. "No way! I mean, what do you want with me? Do you want money, codes,
classified information? What?!" He wondered what these two girls could possibly want with him. They
didn't look like politicians or enemy soldiers. In fact, they looked like two ordinary girls. What could they
want with him?
Ronica looked at Jessica. "Shall I explain it to him?"
"I think you'd better. Lucas looks pretty confused," Jessica responded.
Lucas interrupted them, "Wait. How do you know my name?"
Ronica smiled, flashing her white teeth at him. "Ya see, we know you're name because we are your
worst nightmare come true. We're ELFs, Lucas."
The two girls stood upright and were proud of calling themselves ELFs. Lucas looked back and forth
between them. "Elves?? You think my worst nightmare has to do with elves?? Obviously, you don't
know much about nightmares." Lucas laughed. " And if you're elves, where are your pointy ears?? The
funky shoes? What, are you sick of workin' up in Santa's workshop or something?" he asked
sarcastically, probably mostly out of shock. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he had to worry
about two psychotic girls claiming to be elves who wanted to tie him up and use him for batting practice.
Ronica and Jessica laughed. "No, Lucas," Jessica chided him. "Not elves. ELFs. E-L-F-s. Evil Lucas
Fans." Lucas looked at them with disbelieving eyes. "Our sole purpose in life is to cause you
unimaginable pain and torture, bringing you to the brink of death only to bring you back to life and knock
you back down again."
Lucas shuddered. This was worse than he thought. "B-but wh-y-y?"
Ronica smiled at him again. "That's the greatest part about being an ELF, Lucas. We don't need a
reason. We do this just for the hell of it. We love to do this!" With that, Ronica raised her baseball bat
again and brought it down hard on Lucas' head. Lucas cried out in pain and fell back, blinking up at them
dazedly before his eyelids fell closed.
"Good work, Roni," Jess congratulated her, finally able to tie up Lucas' hands. "This way he won't give
us any trouble until we're ready for him."
The girls lifted him back up and hoisted him into the truck, barricading him between them. "Hey," Ronica
complained. "How come you get to drive?"
"It's my turn," Jessica informed her. "Anyways, you got to take the first shot at Lucas."
Ronica rolled her eyes. "I only got to hit him with the bat. The fun stuff hasn't even started yet."
Jessica smiled. "But it's gonna start soon!" she exclaimed as she turned the key in the ignition and
headed back towards the torture chamber which awaited their young, blonde prisoner.
As they drove to the house, there was something that was bothering Ronica. A step they forgot ... She
began to think to herself.. 'OK, we knocked Lucas from his bike ... Told him about us ... Knocked him
out … Tied him up ... Going home ...?... ' "AHH!!" Ronica yelled as she remembered the fourth step
before going home. "Jess…." Ronica said to her friend as she drove the speed limit.
"Huh?" Jessica said, never looking at Ronica; she had to keep her eyes on the road.
"We forgot to get rid of his bike!"
"What?" Jessica said as looked at Ronica. She forgot about the bike and also forgot to keep her eyes on
the road. The truck swerved to the right and was followed by a large thump. "Oh shit."
"What the hell was that!?"
"I think I ran over something... someone.."
"Back up, let's see!" Ronica said with excitement. Jessica reminded herself to get other friends and
backed up the truck. Jessica and Ronica checked on their unconious teen and knowing that it would be
sometime before he would wake up, got out of the truck and inspected the thing they ran over.
"Dang!" Ronica said as she neared the body. Her eyes grew bigger to notice it was Dagwood. "Shit! It's
Dagwood!"
Jessica neared the body and shook her head. "This isn't Dag, this is... was his evil twin, remember?
Lucas finds him while driving along the highway. Oh man, we just killed him!"
"This means we are really changing the whole episode...!"
"Duh! Miss Genius here finally got it!"
Ronica got up and started back to her truck. Jessica gave the body one last look and also began to follow
Ronica. At that time, Ronica was at the driver's side door when the body on the road began to rise.
Jessica was a couple of feet's away when the body rose to a standing position.
"RUN!! JESS!!! RUN!!!" Ronica yelled as she started up the truck
"Do I look like Forrest Gump?" Jessica yelled back. She felt someone behind her and she turned slightly
to see who it was. She yelled in fright and ran, almost as fast as Forrest, to the truck. The twin began to
run after her and when Jessica was closing the passenger side door, the twin was at the window. The
two girls yelled in fright and Ronica stepped hard on the gas pedal. The twin was hanging on to the side
mirror but by the time the truck hit 40 mph, the twin lost his grip and took the mirror with him. The two
girls breathed heavily and stood in silence. Ronica was the one who broke the silence with her evil but
annoying laugh.
"You should have seen your face, Jess!"
"It's not funny! I could have gotten killed!"
"True, but you didn't! That is not the worse thing! You see what that big GELF did to my truck!" Ronica
said referring to the mirror!
"It's a bloody mirror! I was almost killed and you're crying over a mirror!"
"Hey, look. Sorry. Save that rage for Lucas here, OK?"
"FINE!" Jessica said as she noticed that the teen was still knocked out. She studied his face and body
until she knew every inch of the teen. She began to think about where to start. 'So many possibilities!
What about the face? No, we will leave that for the end. Broken ribs? Internal bleeding? Good thing I
took Anatomy last semester!'
Ronica noticed Jessica gaga eyes when she looked at Lucas. Who could blame the girl, the teen was hot!
But it also got her thinking, Lucas would wake up sooner or later and should they tell him about him.
"Jess," Ronica said as she turned to her friend.
"Yeah"
"Do you think we should tell Lucas about him just being a character in a Hollywood show? To tell him his
life is a lie and all?"
"What, are you nuts! Of course we are going to tell him! What kind of question is that! That would make
up his emotional pain. Get this - he would be so disturbed about the fact that he really doesn't exist! How
good can this get?!"
"You're right!" Ronica said as she speed down the highway back home. Ronica parked her truck behind
the house and opened the back door. Ronica grabbed his arms and Jessica the legs and began to carry
him into the house. They brought Lucas to the room and sat him on the chair and Ronica restrained his
legs to the chair while Jessica took the job of restraining his hands to the armrest. They got more rope
and got Lucas' neck tied to the back of the chair so he wouldn't struggle that much. Both girls stood back
to look at their prize.
"Hey, what about the PAL?" Ronica said.
"Oh yeah!" Jessica said as she searched the teen for the device. She reached him his back pocket and
pulled out the PAL and stepped on it. "Now no one knows where he is!"
"One last thing, we need to get rid of the bike."
"OK Roni, I will wait here!"
"Oh no you don't" Ronica said as she grabbed Jessica's arm "You are not doing anything while I am
gone!"
"But what if he wakes up?"
"He won't, come on!"
"All right!" With that, they took one last look at the sleeping teen and left to get the bike. By the time
they reached where the bike was, the bike was gone. There was no cops or security around so someone
must have taken the bike.
"Who… The evil twin!" Ronica said
"OK, so its gone, that was what we were going to do anyways, right? Get rid of it? It has been done for
us already! Let's go home and play!" Jessica whined.
"OK OK!" Ronica said as she headed back home. When they stepped off the truck, they heard a small
cry for help. Ronica and Jessica both looked at each other and realized the call was coming from inside
the house! They both ran inside the house while they yelled at each other.
"Told you he was going to wake up but no, you said he wouldn't! What happened if someone heard him?
Huh? What about if he had escaped? Or what…"
"Jess, shut up!" Jessica only pouted as they reached the room. Lucas had woken up and stopped
screaming for help when the door opened. He was shocked to see the two girls he thought he dreamt
were a reality. The two girls just stood in the doorway, not speaking a word to him or themselves.
"W-what do you want from me!?" Lucas shouted at the crazy girls. He tried to move but found it
impossible with his feet and hands tied and hard to breath with his neck tied so tight.
"Do we have to go through this again??? Thought you were supposed to be a genius or somethin', so
shouldn't you have gotten it on the first try?" Jessica said as Ronica tapped on her shoulder. They
whispered something to each other and Jessica laughed at Ronica. "Go for it!" Jessica told Ronica as
Ronica left toward the kitchen. Jessica made her way to the tied up teen. Lucas began to breath heavily
but there was nothing he could do. He would see if he could use his guy charm on the blue/green-eyed
girl
"Why are you doing this to me? I don't even know you two!"
"You don't? I am Jessica and the crazy girl with me is my friend Ronica. Enough about us though, we
know almost everything about you! You see Mr. Wolenczak, we know everything from your secret crush
on a Lt. Commander Hitchcock to your password for the Internex! By the way Lucas, it is…" Jessica
whispered the secret word into Lucas ears. " Oh, we know a lot about you," Jessica said as she stroked
his cheek.
"H-how?" Not everyone knew that password; he completely made it up.
"You see…" Jessica was about to explain when Ronica came in holding a knife. Lucas eyes widened as
he saw the knife in Ronica's hand.
"What are you going to do to me?"
"Something no one has ever had the gutts to do!" Ronica said as she neared the teen.
"That's right Lucas, we are going to…" Jessica made her sound affects. "give you a Ronica and Jessica
Personal Hair Cut!" Lucas eyes widen with fear.
"There is a pair of scissors in the drawer, but a knife hurts and that is just the beginning of the pain,
Lucas!" Ronica said as she brought the knife to Lucas' face.
Lucas began to whimper in fear. "Please, please, I don't understand. Please, just don't hurt me," he
begged Ronica.
The girls eyes just lit up as they heard the fear in his voice. This was even better, he was begging!
Jessica grabbed the ends of Lucas' hair and held his head back. Lucas gave a sharp yelp and began
panting as the rope grew tighter around his neck. Ronica took advantage of this and began sawing
through his hair with the knife, making tears of pain come to Lucas' eyes. He cried out and squirmed in
the chair, but the rope was tight around his arms and legs and he couldn't move his head around or else
he couldn't breath. It was a no-win situation.
Just as the girls were getting started though, Lucas gave a last strangled cry and passed out. Ronica
stopped. "Well that's no fun!" she complained. "Jess, what did you let him pass out for??"
"What do you mean 'let him pass out'?" Jessica asked. She bent down a little and untied the rope from
his neck, letting him get some more air. "Whose idea was it to tie that rope around his neck anyways?"
"YOURS!" Roni exclaimed impatiently.
"Oh," Jess said sheepishly. "Well, I'm sure I had my reasons."
Ronica was about to say something back when she noticed a pair of hazy blue eyes opening and blinking
unsteadily at her. Time to get down to business, Ronica thought. She bent down so she was looking
Lucas directly in the eyes. "All right, I guess the haircut can wait 'til later. But don't get the wrong idea
– passing out will NOT spare you any pain! If anything, that is just a goal for us to strive for, got it?" she
asked him.
"Yeah," Jess spoke up. "We like it when you pass out from pain. It lets us know that we gave you the
maximum amount you can handle, which is good."
Lucas eyes went back and forth between them. "You're crazy," he whispered.
Ronica and Jessica grinned proudly at each other. "Thank you," Roni said. Just then she became aware
of an insistent scratching noise, and remembered something. "Oh, before I forget, we've got to feel the
animals," Ronica reminded Jess.
Lucas was momentarily relieved. Great, at least these girls had pets. Dog-owners couldn't be all bad.
Maybe he could reason with them after all. He could offer to buy them a puppy if they let him go. Maybe
they would even name it after him – A dog named Wolenczak. Lucas smiled slightly at the image.
Jessica just looked at her for a moment before realization lit up her eyes. "Ohhhh, OK." She walked over
to the corner and picked up the small crate. She handed it to Roni. "Would you do the honors?" Lucas
was getting nervous again. Those girls had that glazed, crazy look in their eyes again. It could not be
good.
"I would be delighted," Roni said, gracefully taking the crate out of Jessica's hands. Jessica busied
herself tightening the rope around Lucas hands and legs and tying more rope around his mid-section,
ensuring that he couldn't wiggle out.
"OK." Jessica said as she grabbed the baseball bat near the door, just in case the little critters get an idea
to snack on them. She gave Ronica the thumbs-up sign. Ronica broke out into a huge grin as she opened
the crate and spilled the contents on to Lucas' lap. The two girls stepped away from the tied up teen and
watched the scene unfold…
Lucas screamed in horror as dozens of filthy, disgusting rats began scurrying all over him. They began to
claw at him, sinking their rat teeth through his clothes and into his skin. Lucas fought blindly against the
bindings, struggling to get away, but he couldn't move. God, it hurt! Those teeth were like knives ripping
away pieces of his tender flesh. Lucas screamed louder, praying that someone would come save him.
Three of the rats were traveling up his chest, approaching his face. Lucas started to cry as one of the
rats reached his shoulder and began nibbling at his ear. Lucas shook his head wildly, trying to knock off
the rat. Just then he felt fire race through his neck as one of the other rats scratched him with its tiny
claw, and he could not move his head without feeling a shooting pain. One of the rats was perched below
his chin and was nibbling on his cheek, causing a trail of blood to drip down on to Lucas' shirt. The other
rat had reached his mouth and Lucas had to clamp his mouth shut so the rat wouldn't climb inside.
Instead the rat chewed at his upper lip. Lucas choked and whimpered as the rat made its was around his
face, leaving little trails of blood behind. The pain in his stomach was becoming unbearable. A bunch of
the rats were still there. They had gnawed through his shirt and were now biting into the soft flesh of his
abdomen. Lucas sobbed as the intense, stabbing pains increased as the rats chewed through more and
more of his skin. Blood was fairly pouring from his abdomen, and the rats lapped it up greedily, digging
for more. Lucas continued struggling; his screams turned into gasps of pain. Suddenly, Lucas' desperate
struggles caused the chair to tip over. The rats wasted no time covering his entire body, biting and
chewing through Lucas' skin. Lucas screamed and yelled in agony as blood seeped from his body.
All the while, Ronica and Jessica had stood back watching the delicious scenes unfold. They had grown
even more excited when the rats approached his face and began nibbling there. They were most
impressed with the bloody mess the rats were making of his stomach. There was so much blood! Lucas'
blood! It was everything they'd hoped for. His terrified, pain-filled screams completed the picture, making
Roni wish they had thought to bring popcorn to the show. They stared in awe as Lucas struggled in the
chair, jerking desperately against the restraints. He continued to scream as the chair tipped over, fighting
and crying until he finally passed out. The girls left the rats alone for a few more moments before finally
taking out some raw steak they had bought the other day in the shopping spree and luring them back into
their crate.
They examined the blood-covered genius with child-like delight.
"Oh my god, that was great!" Ronica said as she placed the rat filled crate back in the closet.
"Yeah.." Jessica nearly said, she was left speechless…
"Well." Ronica said as she closed the door to the closet. "Lets get him back up right and clean him up."
"What do you mean clean him? How is he going to pick up an infection if you clean him up!"
"Clean him up using one of those bottles in the cabinet!"
"Huh?"
"Do you even know what they are?" Ronica said as she neared the unconscious teen.
"No?"
"Exactly, maybe it is a cleaning chemical and it will cause agonizing pain… or bleach?"
"Oh.."
"Alright. Get over here and help me!" Ronica said as she tried to pick up the chair. Jessica went and
helped Ronica put Lucas back up right and they both examined the teen. They were happy with the
results.
"Looks like he got cut up real bad…isn't it great!" Ronica said.
"Sure is Roni, now lets get a bottle and clean him up!" Jess said as she began toward the cabinet and
pulled out a pretty purple color bottle. 'Purple' Jess thought, she always loved that color. She grabed a
dirty rag that was in the cabinet and poured the contents on the rag. Ronica had cut through the torn
fabric of Lucas' shirt and waited for Jess.
"Lets see if this purple stuff is good stuff." Jess said as she applied the rag into the cuts. The cut began
to bubble and nothing happened.
"Well, at least we got some pretty bubbles!" Jess said as she cleaned all the cuts with her dirty rag.
"Oh well, now what? He is going to be out for a couple of hours."
"How do you know this stuff Ronica? Have you done this before?"
"No, it is simple math my dear. You know, 1+1=2… simple."
"Whatever, so wanna go to step 6?"
"Yeah, Sizzler has a great dinner special.." Ronica said as she placed her arm around her friend's
shoulders. Jessica agreed but made sure there was not going to be a de-javu again. She went and grabed
the dirty cloth and shoved it into Lucas mouth. Then, she got some more rope and gag the teen. Ronica
gave her 'oh yeah' look and the two girls laughed as they exited the room.
*-*-*-*-*-**-
Lucas awoke some time later to find himself alone. He drew a sigh of relief that soon followed by a
sharp pain in his chest. God his whole body hurt like hell. He would give his right arm for a painkiller right
now' Lucas thought as he tried to scream for help. No use, there was something in his mouth that tasted
awful. Lucas tired to spit out the gag but no use. Lucas tried again to wiggle free from the bonding that
held him but again, another loss cause. Lucas soon gave up and sat there alone in his thoughts. 'Who are
these crazy maniacs' He thought. 'Duh, they said they were ELFs' his mind reassured him. He was
asking questions to himself and getting responses. 'Ok, ELFs, evil Lucas fans… but why they would be a
fan of me? Do they know the vocoder information?' He asked. 'No silly, they just wanted torture me
again and again.' He answered back. 'All right, then how do they know about me? Why fans?' he asked.
He had no response. This is not good. He felt light headed and began to see purple objects coming from
the ceiling… they had green eyes and wings and…it looked like a chicken… they were coming after him.
Lucas tried to get away from the purple winged creators but he found it impossible. One of the creators
came near him and barked really loud. Lucas tried to scream but only got out a few moans. Lucas
started to see more of the creators coming from the ceiling and panic took over. He pulled more and
more against the restraints. The action caused his wrists and feet bleed but he had to get away from the
creators. Lucas struggled so much that he fell back, all with the chair, and hit his head hard on the floor,
causing him to pass out.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Jessica and Ronica had ordered their food to go and were headed back home. Ronica was driving again
and Jess once again hold on the door handle as Ronica made a sharp turn to the road to the creepy
house. They carried the food into the house and turned on the battery-powered flashlight.
"Oohhhhhh" Ronica said as she place the light into her face that casted an eerie sight.
"Oh stop it, ya don't need the light to be scary!" Jess said. Ronica gave her an improper hand jester and
they both entered the torture room. Ronica cast the light to where the chair holding their prisoner only to
find that the chair and the teen were gone. 'What the..' Ronica thought as she moved the flashlight
across the room. The light beamed on the floor and to the girls surprise, Lucas was on the floor.
"Hey, he is bleeding.." Ronica said as she notice the fresh bloodstains on the teen's arms and legs.
"Is that a problem?"
"No but still, there had to be a good reason for it!"
"True but come on, we ask later." Jess said. Ronica and Jess began once again to pick up the fallen teen
and placed him back to his up right position.
"Simple math huh?" Jess said
"Oh shut up! How's was I supposed to know he was going to wake up."
"Sure…" Jessica said as she untied Lucas gag. "I wonder what he was thinking when he was alone and
us not there… all sort of thoughts must have entered his head…"
"O.k. Jess, next time lay off the caffeine, come on, I am hungry." Ronica said as she left the room and
towards the kitchen. Jess followed and began to eat their nice healthy salad.
"I am so glad I don't live here, the future sucks. I mean, if this is what they call good food, their taste
buds must be dead," Ronica complained as she stabbed her salad.
"You were the one that wanted to go there, the white castle at least had some video games to play."
"Oh shut up!"
"Make me!"
"I think I will.." Ronica said as they two girls were interrupted by a cry for help. "Guess who is awake."
The two girls went running into the room, Jessica was fast and got there first. But Ronica pushed her out
of the way and got in first. Lucas gasped as the two girls neared him, 'planning something bad for me'
Lucas thought.
"Hey Lucas, what's up?" Ronica asked.
"GO to hell" was his response.
"Is that all you know what to say?" Jessica butted in. "What about fuck off you freaks or shove it or
something new like that! No, the genius came up with a good one- go to hell"
"Jess, it is a PG rated show, go to hell is appropriate!"
"A PG rated show?" Lucas asked, he hopes that he kept the girls taking that they wouldn't hurt him.
Well, delay the hurt…
"Go ahead and tell him jess."
"Well.." Jess began
"You are part of a TV show Lucas." Ronica shouted out.
"Roni, it is my turn to explain."
"Sorry, go on."
"Well, you are part of something Hollywood made up. You, your life, your friends, are all part of a TV
show from where we come from! We watched you during you playing air guitar in the captain's room to
where you went with Bridger to face off the regulator! Or what about you programmed the holograph
thing and made Carol speak when Bridger and Dr. Westphalen were making out? Lucas, you are not
real…"
"Oh sure, not real. That is why I am here bleeding to death and feeling woozy, what did you give me
anyway."
"Give you?" Jess said and shook it off. "Don't change the subject on me kid."
"Looks who's calling a kid, you are not that old yourself." Lucas grinned.
"Oh the famous Lucas grin, and no picture around. You don't believe us huh?" Ronica asked.
"If I believe that, I guess the world really is flat!"
"Well…" Ronica said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. She popped open the
sucker and tons of pictures came into view. She held up a picture to Lucas as she read the writing on
each picture's back. "You see, this is the actor that portrays you, his name is Jonathan Brandis." Ronica
said as she turned the page of her wallet pictures. Jess sat next to Lucas as she also admired the
pictures. "You see that, that is Roy Schneider, he play the captain right.? He also played in Jaws, which
is a great movie" Lucas nodded as the picture show continued. Ronica showed every single
crewmember that Lucas knew… even the new crew men that were there. "Oh here is Tony, ya knew
roomie who has gills and psi abilities but I don't think you know that yet. Not like the Dr. Wendy Smith,
she is annoying but she dies later on when the aliens come back..." Ronica continued to show Lucas the
new crew of seaQuest 2032. After the show was over, Lucas was speechless, there was so much these
girls knew about him; his life, the people he loved. For petes sake, no one knew about the computer
hologram…No, he could believe a word the two psychotic girls told him, he wouldn't!
"Ok, the show is over, believe us or not… it is back to business." Ronica said almost reading Lucas
thoughts, as she duged into her bag of supplies. "What do you think we should do first Jess?"
Jessica yawned. "Actually, it's been a pretty long day, and I'm beat. What do ya say we call it a night?"
Ronica stared at her. "Are you out of your mind? How long have we dreamed about this, and you're
saying it's bed-time?"
"Not everyone can live on two hours of sleep a night, Roni. Some of us need our beauty sleep."
Ronica dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder and batted her eye-lashes. "I suppose all of us
can't be naturally as beautiful as me." Jessica jokingly made gagging noises and Ronica jabbed her
playfully in the arm.
"Um, excuse me crazy ELF ladies, but what about me? Do I go to sleep now too?" Lucas interrupted.
Since they told him that he is supposedly a fictional character, Lucas was going to prove them wrong by
acting as real as possible. Surely, only real people got tired.
Ronica and Jessica gave him innocent smiles. "I'm not going to stop you from sleeping," Jessica told him.
Lucas frowned. "You mean I have to stay in this chair all night?" He was getting tired of sitting there.
His behind had fallen asleep, and his wrists and ankles were raw where the ropes were tied around him.
He would have gladly paid Piccolo just to be given the bottom bunk right about now. Suddenly he
remembered what the weirdo ELFs had said. Piccolo, a psychic, yeah right, Lucas thought. The man
barely used his own brain; there was no way he could go poking around in other people's heads. That
was about as likely to happen as Commander Ford cracking a joke.
Ronica disappeared into the kitchen for a minute. Jessica walked around Lucas, making sure the bindings
were tight. "Don't worry, Lucas," Jessica said. "I'm sure you'll have pleasant dreams tonight."
Ronica returned carrying a bucket.
"What the hell do you have in there?!" Lucas asked, fearful of any more rats. His body already ached
horribly from the damage done by those damn rats, not the mention whatever drug the girls had used on
him.
Ronica understood his fear. "No more animals to worry about tonight. Instead, we have a nice surprise
for you. We figured you might be getting thirsty." With that, she dumped the contents of the bucket on
top of Lucas' head.
Lucas shrieked as ice-cold water shocked his body. Goose-bumps immediately appeared on his pale flesh
and he began shaking. He tried to bring his arms up to hug himself, but they were tied down.
"Hey, that's a cool trick," Jessica exclaimed. "Let me try that." She took the bucket from Ronica and
headed into the kitchen, returning moments later with a full bucket. She moved to pour it on top of Lucas.
"N-n-no," Lucas pleaded through chattering teeth. "P-please."
"Sorry, Lucas, I can't resist," Jessica told him before emptying the bucket on his head.
Lucas shrieked again, gasping. His whole body was shaking fiercely with cold. The girls were delighted
when they noticed that his lips were turning an odd shade of blue, as was the delicate skin around his
eyes.
"Sleep well, Lucas," Ronica called out before she and Jessica headed out to the truck to get some sleep.
Jessica was about to open the passenger-side door when she realized something. "Hey Roni, we've left
him alone twice now, and both times we've come back to find him awake and screaming or lying on the
floor or something, right?"
Roni shrugged, "Yeah, so what?"
"So I think that one of us should stay with him, to make sure that he doesn't get away or do anything
stupid."
Ronica grinned. "Well, since that's the first good idea you've had all day, I'll let you take the first shift.
Have a nice night in that creepy house," she called out before stretching out in the front seat and shutting
the door.
Jessica frowned but headed back into the house. She saw Lucas still sitting where they had left him. He
was still shivering so severely that it looked more like he was convulsing. Jessica noticed that his head
was slumped forward and his eyes were nearly closed. She grinned, figuring that he was becoming
hypothermic. She sat down in the corner of the room and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. She
began to dream about all the fun things they could do with Lucas. She wondered what Ronica would pull
out of her bag of tricks in the morning.
Early the next morning, Ronica kicked Jessica laying in the floor fast asleep. Jessica rubbed her eyes as
she saw what woken her up. The two girls turned to see Lucas fast asleep. Ronica only smiled and
grabed Jessica's arm and lead her to the kitchen.
"Get all the bottles, glasses, anything that brakes from the cabinets!" Ronica ordered Jessica as Ronica
went through the cabinets.
"What are you planning?"
"Well, I was dreaming last night that I was in a Jackie Chan movie.." Ronica began.
"Oh wow, that is very helpful, so what, are you going to pull a Jackie Chan move on Lucas?"
"No silly, do you remember the movie Rumble in the Bronx?"
"Yes.. But what that does that have to do with Lucas?"
"Well, we have glass bottles and a bat…"
Jessica stood there wondering. Of course, a part of rumble was that Jackie was stuck in the corner and
the gang were playing baseball and… "Oh that is perfect!" Jessica said as she grabed some glasses and
headed toward the room. Ronica followed with some more glasses and the bat. They entered the room
and found that the teen was still asleep.
"Should we?" Jessica said as she examines the peaceful teen.
"Duh" Ronica said as she went to one side of the chair and Jess to the other side. Ronica hold up her
hand and began to raise each finger up, she was counting to three. On the third finger, the two girls
screamed in Lucas ears. Lucas woke up screaming too and them looked at the two girls. Jessica and
Ronica laughed as they were preparing to play baseball. Lucas screamed again as he saw the room
where he was. It was daytime and the room was clearly visible.
"What's wrong with you?" Ronica asked
"What kind of people are you?"
"What? The room? You like it?"
"You are a freak!"
"Hey… thanks!" Ronica said as she wrapped an old rag around the baseball bat. Lucas saw the bat and
wondered what kind of torture game they had plan for him. He had to avoid it.
"So where were you when your friend over there beat the crap out of me!" Lucas yelled at Ronica.
"What is this?" Ronica said as she neared Lucas.
"Your friend, Jessica, she beat the crap out of me last night."
Ronica grew mad, she turned to Jessica. "Is it true? You had fun with out me???"
"Yes, but he asked for it..." Jessica said.
"What the hell are you on!!!" Ronica said as she began to pace back and forth with the bat.
"Look, it was a mistake, but don't use up your anger on me, we have a nice volunteer waiting for you."
Jessica said as Ronica neared her with the bat. Ronica swung the bat and stopped.
"You're right." Ronica soon moved from Jessica and neared Lucas once again. "Thanks for the rush.
You like baseball right?" Lucas only looked in horror, he made things worse.
Jessica and Ronica went near the doorway and Jessica handed her the glasses. Ronica tossed one up in
the air and hit the glass. Sending the glass towards Lucas. The glass came in contact to one of Lucas tied
up legs and shattered in millions of pieces on contact. Lucas screamed as some of the glass cut into his
jeans and into his skin. Jessica handed another glass and this time, hit Lucas on the chest. Lucas
screamed again and the two girls smiled as blood was seeping into his clothes. After a few rounds of
baseball, Ronica handed the bat over to Jessica and Jessica had her fun too. Lucas was now panting very
hard and in very much pain. Glass was everywhere, cutting into him and even seemed that it was seeping
into his skin. At the last glass, Jessica hit the glass and it hit Lucas shoulder. The glass broke and some of
the glass piece hit Lucas face. Lucas screamed as the glass entered his mouth and began to cut up his
gums. Lucas tried to spit out the glass. Ronica and Jessica began to laugh as blood began to fall from
Lucas mouth.
"Please, help me. Get this out of my mouth." Lucas pleaded, having a plan in his mind.
"Why should we!" Jessica replied as she stuck her tongue at him
"If you guys don't, I am going to swallow this and I will die."
"So?" Jessica answered back.
"What are you saying so, you want him to die?" Ronica asked and told Lucas to spit out the glass.
"I cant you stupid moron, it is under my lip. I think it is stuck."
"Eww.. I am not going to get it out!" Jessica said
"Neither am I"
"Fine, I will just die." Lucas said. He knew that the two girls don't want him dead, he hope that this, he
could use to his advantage.
"Oh shut up!" Jessica said as she turned to Ronica. Jessica held out her hand in a fist. Ronica followed
and shook her hand three times. Jessica did the same and on the third shook, they both hold out there
hands.
"Haha, rock crushed scissors!" Jessica said as she won again at paper rocks scissors. Ronica curse
slightly and went to Lucas.
"Fine, open up!" Ronica said as Lucas opened his mouth. Ronica searched his mouth and found nothing.
When she felt something at his bottom lip, Lucas made him move and bit Ronica's fingers. Ronica
screamed and punched Lucas in the gut. Lucas automatically let go of his grip and was pleased that he
injured his captive. Jessica began to laugh hysterically as Ronica held her fingers.
"You son of a bitch!" Ronica said as she left the room.
"Holly shit, you are going to get it now!" Jessica said
"What?"
"You don't know Ronica as I do… she gets her revenge!"
"Oh I am so scared."
"You should be!" Jessica said as she heard the truck being turned on. Jessica left the room and saw
Ronica moving the truck to the back of the house. Ronica parked the truck near the kitchen back door.
Ronica popped the hood open and pulled out some cables. Ronica began to hook up the cables on the
trucks old battery and set the other set down. Ronica went back into the house and Jessica stopped her.
"What are you planning?"
"Help me and you will see."
With that, Ronica and Jessica entered the room and went on each side of Lucas.
"What are you two doing?" Lucas asked. Ronica didn't response or Jessica.
"Jessica, help me move him to the back door." Ronica said as the two girls began to move Lucas.
"Hey, someone tell me what's going on!" Again neither of the girls answered him. Lucas began to
struggle but Ronica began to punch him in the gut. Lucas stopped struggling. As they reached the back
door, Jessica and Ronica stopped.
"Are you two going to cook for me now?" Lucas said as he saw he was at the kitchen.
"Will you tell me what are you going to do?" Jessica asked Ronica as she ignored Lucas. Ronica didn't
answer her and she went to the truck and turned it on. The truck came alive and Ronica came back to
the kitchen. She them went toward the kitchen and filled up a bucket of water. She went towards Lucas
and dumped the water on him.
"Not again" Lucas sighed as he felt the coldness of the water.
"Oh no my boy…" Ronica finally answered the teen as she went over and picked up the cables. She held
each one in her hands and as she put them together, the two cables sparked. Jessica finally understood
what Ronica was going to do.
"I call this, payback!" Ronica said as she neared the teen with the cables. Lucas struggle away from the
cables but it was no use. The cables end made contact to his wet body and sent electric pain all over his
body. His screams were louder than ever but to uncaring ears they fell to. Ronica released the cables
and waited to Lucas to recover from the first blow.
"Please, stop." Lucas pleaded and Ronica took it as a go on. Ronica placed the cables to Lucas again
and again, he screamed louder as his body went wild from the shocks! After the third strike, Lucas
screamed and finally pasted out. Ronica held the cables a little more long and finally let go. Lucas body
was still twitching when Ronica went to turn off the truck. Ronica went over to Lucas and gave him her
famous left hook. Satisfied, she asked Jessica to help her put Lucas back.
"Wow.. That was something!" Jessica said as she entered the room again.
"Yeah… that guy has sharp teeth. And if you ever go behind my back and have your fun, I will do the
same to you!"
"Understand! Crystal! Sorry… But that was amazing! Where you learned that?"
"Other stories I have read…"
"Genius!"
"Whatever, lets get him clean up again" Ronica said as she went to the cabinet and pulled out a white
color bottle. Ronica wet the rag and cleaned the new bloody cuts Lucas got from the glass. When the job
was done, Jessica placed the bottle back and spotted something. There were little rocks in the cabinet…
white little rocks..
"Hey Ronica, get over here." Jessica yelled. Ronica made her way and asked what she wanted. Jessica
held up some of the mysteries rocks and Ronica face lit up like a jack o lantern.
"OMG! That is heroin! Get some syringes!"
"How do you know that?"
"Well.. um.. I .. it was in a movie! Get a spoon and I will get the lighter from the truck!" Ronica said as
she went to the truck and returned to the room with the lighter.
"Fine now what do we do?" Jessica said as she held the rocks and spoon.
"Ok, place the rocks in the spoon and I will heat them up with the lighter. Once they turn into a liquid, we
will fill the syringes and give them to little healthy Lucas over there!"
"Oh that is bad… what are we waiting for!" Jessica said as they prepared the drug. It didn't take long to
get the rocks to melt and the syringes filled. Ronica went to Lucas and tied a rope around his arms to
stop the blood flow. 'She's done this before' Jessica thought as Ronica tapped Lucas arms and felt for a
vein. Ronica emptied the contents into Lucas and waited. Even if he was unconscious, it wouldn't take
long for the affects of the drug to take over the teen.
Jessica frowned. "Hey Roni, are you sure you only saw this in a movie? You do that a little too well, in
my opinion."
Ronica gave Jess an exasperated look. "Jess, do you know how long I've been waiting to get Lucas like
this?! I made some notes of things I wanted to do. I'm not a drug user, if that's what you're thinking."
Jessica grinned and nodded. "Good, cuz I gotta tell you girl – you're crazy enough without drugs!"
Roni grinned proudly. "Yeah I know."
Just then, Lucas awoke with a start. Pain traveled up and down his limbs and he started to scream. He
wanted to get up, and get away from the pain, but he was still tied to the chair. He cried out as the
stabbing pain turned to a terrible burning sensation in his abdomen. It felt as if his stomach was on fire.
Ronica and Jessica laughed as Lucas started screaming. Then the fun really started – Lucas's screams
became hysterical as the hallucinations started. He frantically jerked against the ropes and began
screaming things like, "GET OFF ME!!" and "HELP!!" and "NO!! GET AWAY!!". His screams were
so loud that they literally shook the walls. Roni and Jessica laughed again as Lucas' desperate fight
caused his chair to tip over yet again.
However, then something unexpected happened. Somehow the rope that was around Lucas' legs and
chest loosened, and Lucas was able to pull away from the chair for the first time since he arrived. He
was still screaming and hallucinating. He shoved the chair away with his shoulders and somehow
stumbled to his feet before the girls even knew what was happening. His hand were still tied to the arms rest
but them too had broke free somehow. Lucas blindly ran from the room, screaming deliriously. "LEAVE
ME ALONE!! NO!!! HELP ME!! GET OFF ME!!".
Jessica and Roni panicked, running after him. They heard the front door open and knew they had to
catch him quickly or else they would lose him. They chased him outside, just in time to see him run into a
tree and get knocked to the dirt ground. He was still screaming and kicking his legs wildly, trying to fight
off whatever terrifying things he was hallucinating.
Before Lucas could get up and start running again, the girls tackled him and tried to hold him still. They
were all struggling, rolling around on the ground. Lucas kept screaming and trying to push them away. It
took all the strength Ronica and Jessica had to hold on to him.
"RONI!" Jessica yelled over Lucas' cries and she tried to pin his arms down to the ground. "WE'VE
GOT TO GET A TRANQUILIZER OR SOMETHING!" Jessica and Ronica struggled and both of them
never knew when the remote control had fallen to the ground.
Roni gasped as Lucas kicked her in the side. "HOW? IT'S TAKING BOTH OF US TO HOLD HIM!!"
The trio continued rolling around on the ground, the girls practically getting beat up by Lucas' hysterical
fighting. Just when the girls were getting desperate, a large shadow hovered over them. Then, huge
hands reached down and grabbed Lucas and picked him up. Lucas was engulfed by large, strong arms
that were able to hold him still.
Ronica and Jessica looked up, and they both gasped at what they saw. "DAGWOOD?!" Jessica
practically screamed. The girls scrambled to their feet in an instant.
Roni pulled Jessica back a couple of steps. "How in the world are you here?!? This is the Special
Delivery episode …… You are supposed to be in prison for LIFE!!!!"
Suddenly Jessica realized something. "RONI! They send the wrong Dagwood to prison, remember?!"
Roni's jaw dropped and she stared at the large GELF. "Wait a minute, then that means you're …."
"Take me home!" the evil twin GELF said to the screaming Lucas. Lucas heard nothing as he continued to
scream his head off. The evil twin shook the teen so he would stop screaming.
"GET AWAY!! GET THEM OFF ME!!! THE PURPLE CHICKEN IS GOING TO EAT ME!" Lucas
screamed to the giant GELF. Roni and Jessica only looked at each other, smiling but wondering why was
Lucas seeing purple chickens. Their attention was drawn back to the GELF as he shook Lucas once more to
shut him up then tossed him to a tree. Lucas made contact with the tree and passed out.
"HEY! If you want to hurt Lucas, get in line!" Ronica said as she neared the giant. The evil twin only
looked at her and grabed her by her shoulders. She too was thrown to the tree and also was knocked out.
She slid off the tree and lay near Lucas. Jessica took notice that Ronica wasn't moving and that Jessica was
right. The evil twin was the one that stole Bridger's bike as it was near the tree where the two had been
thrown. Jessica felt too scared to run, she was frozen in place as the giant GELF neared her.
"HOME!" The giant elf said to the scared girl. Jessica only nodded as headed for the truck. The evil twin
picked up the bike and threw it inside the truck. Then, he picked up the two unconscious bodies and threw
them in the back of the truck. Jessica drove the two to the Gen-U-Flec Inc science building, where
Dagwood and the evil Dagwood were created. They both got off the truck and Jessica turned to see that
Roni and Lucas were still out cold. The GELF grabed her arm and began punching Jessica on the face.
Jessica was knocked out in a matter of seconds and the GELF preceded to go inside the building. Moments
later, another big looking GELF steps near Jessica. Jessica rolls over and sees a big GELF standing right in
front of her. She panics and starts to run away into the building. Jessica runs inside only to scream again as
another GELF was inside. Jessica tried to go back outside when the GELF from the outside now was inside
with the other one. Jessica was now confused. There were two of them inside! Jessica quickly thinks and
tries to make sense of it all... of course, the one from the outside was Dagwood! She got the beating that
Lucas got in the original episode!. Jessica neared the GELF that came from outside.
"Dagwood?" The GELF looks down at the beaten girl and nods. Jessica smiles and hides behind Dagwood.
The two GELF's see each other and the evil twin makes the first move. Evil Dagwood punches the real
Dagwood in the face and Dagwood was knocked down to the ground. "I think I should be going" Jessica
said as she leaves the two GELF's in the building. Jessica runs outside to the truck when some uniformed
people start making their way to the building. Jessica said to a halt. 'Oh shit!' Jessica said as she
recognized the people coming towards here.
"Are you alright?" Commander Jonathan Ford asked Jessica.
"I'm fine Fo.. sir." Jessica said
"Oh my, who beat you up?" Lt. James Brody asked as he took Jessica's face in his hands. Jessica couldn't
reply as a screaming Loni Henderson called out to the two crewmembers.
"Jonathan! Jim! Its Lucas…" Loni said as she went running back to the side of the building. 'Oh no'
Jessica thought again as she knew the truck with Ronica and Lucas were in. 'How am I going to explain
this!' The two crewmembers went running near the side of the building and Jessica followed the two. Ford
eyes grew up in shock as Loni pointed to the inside of the back of the truck. Lucas was there, lying on his
back and covered in burses and scratches. Ford gasped as he saw another person near Lucas. Bridger's Bike
was sandwiched between the two.
"Who's that." Brody asked his commander.
"Its Ronica." Jessica answered the question. The three people turned to Jessica with question looks. "She
and I… we were driving along side the road where we were stopped by this guy. He jumped in our truck
saying that he was being attacked and out of no where, there was this big GELF attacking the truck…
umm..Roni tried to stop him but… well.. she got hit on the head… Lucas and Roni were both unconscious
and the GELF told me to drive him here… umm.. He was the one that beat me…" Jessica continued to lie as
a loud explosion was heard, coming from the near by window. Brody picked up Lucas from the back of the
truck and Ford picked up Ronica as they all headed for the front of the building. Jessica followed them as
Dagwood emerged from the building. Loni raised her weapon to shoot the GELF. She believed that
Dagwood could never hurt anyone but he was still a convicted felon.
"Don't shoot! He is the one that helped me." Jessica said as she neared the GELF. "Dagwood?" Jessica
whispered to the Gelf. Dagwood nodded and Jessica gave him a big hug. Dagwood hugged back and
looked at his friend standing there. Dagwood let go of the girl and neared Brody.
"Um.. whats wrong with Lucas.?"
"The other guy looking like you beat us up Dag." Jessica said.
"You mean there are two of them running around?" Loni asked.
"Duh!" Jessica said. Loni was about to response to the rude girl when the person in Jonathan's shoulders
began to moan. Jonathan set her down on the ground and Ronica began to wake up. Ronica opened her
eyes and was in shock to see a Commander Ford looking back at her.
"Oh shit!" Ronica said as she tried to get up and move away from the commander. She had thought that she
had another elf dream but seeing the commander proved that everything was true.
"Shh.. we are not going to hurt you. I am Commander Ford from the seaQuest."
"Yeah Roni, they are here to help. Remember, that big evil GELF beat the crap out of you while we tried to
save Lucas? R_e_m_e_m_b_e_r?" Jessica stressed. Ronica looked around confused only to come face to
face with a huge sign. It read Gen-U-Flect, Inc. Ronica thought for awhile until it hit her, they were not in
the house anymore, somehow they were in the lab where the evil GELF told Lucas where to take him.
Ronica smiled as she remembered the fear Lucas had… 'oh my god, LUCAS!' She had completely forgot
about the teen. They were going to be in so much trouble. Ronica sat up and began to grab her head.
"Are you alright?" Commander Ford asked.
"Yeah, someone tell the world to stop spinning please." Ronica blurted out.
"She's fine commander. I am worried about Lucas over there." Jessica said as she mentioned with her head
to Brody. Brody had set Lucas down the same way Jonathan did with Ronica. Brody was trying to wake up
Lucas but to no use.
"Commander." Brody called. Commander Ford neared the Luitenet. The rest followed.
"I am not doctor sir but Lucas was more than beaten up." Brody said as he pointed to each bruise. "He has
been scratched with something sharp and it seems that he has been bitten by small but sharp teeth. He has
bruised all over." Brody said as he lifted up Lucas torn shirt. Loni and Ford both gasped as Ronica and
Jessica tried to hide their laughter. "We need to get him to a hospital. Them too." Brody said as he pointed
to the two girls.
"Oh no sir, we are fine." Jessica said. "Isn't that right Roni?"
"Yeah." Ronica said as she tried to walk to her friend. She was still a little dazed but they couldn't go to the
hospital, so many questions will be asked… too many for their own sakes.
"Brody, get the hummer." Brody obeyed as Commander ford turned to the two girls. "You two are going to
the hospital if you like it or not." Ford said as he turned his attention to Lucas. Jessica and Ronica looked at
each other. This is not good. Then a light went off in Ronicas head.
"Fine, we will go to the hospital but we will follow you in my truck. It's my dad and he will be very pissed
if he doesn't get it back in one piece. Besides, we can't all fit in that Hummer. Maybe we do but you need
to lie the kid down and there will not be room for us." Ronica said as Jessica thanked her in her head.
"Ok, but follow us close. Have your friend over there drive for you, you look more worse off then her."
Jonathan said as Brody came up in the black hummer. The two men carefully placed Lucas in the middle
seat of the hummer and they watched as Loni and Dagwood entered the Hummer. Jonathan moved to the
drivers seat and gave the two girls an ok sign. Ronica and Jessica nodded and Ronica went to the driver
side. They began to follow the hummer.
"What are we going to do Ronica!" Jessica whined.
"Go home. Get your remote and zoom us out of here Jess!" Ronica said and Jessica began to search her
pockets.
"Uh oh."
"What do you mean Uh Oh!"
"I think I lost it. I think it is back at the house!"
"LOST IT! WHEN!!"
"I dunno, when you lose things you normally don't remember where!"
"I think I do, when we wrestled Lucas… it has to be there."
"Alright, now how are we going to get ride of these people."
"I have a plan. We have to go back to the house and get the remote. We have to go back home now. If
Lucas wakes up, we are going to jail for sure." Ronica said
"But how are we going to get away from the people!"
"Why you think I am driving!" Ronica said as she spotted a near by road. She made a quick turn and
entered the road. The hummer began to brake and back up but Ronica was too much of a racer and by the
time the Hummer entered the road, the truck was thousands of feet away. The hummer didn't follow the
truck and Ronica and Jessica cheered!
"YES! We lost those suckers!" Ronica said as she made a hoo hoo sound.
"Alright then, lets go home and... go home!" Jessica sat back and relaxed, they were finally going home.
"Yeah! To bad that we had a short two days with Lucas only… but it sure was fun!" Ronica said as she
turned on the radio and glad that Rob Zombie was playing. Jessica moaned and covered her ears as Ronica
sang- I feel so bad, I feel so numb!.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
OK, This is Ronica (JOXER), anyways, the story was written back and forth between the two of us.. So its
Jessica's turn to continue the story so send her evil mail at her addy- redhead1981@hotmail.com for her to
hurry up with the next part. Anyways, it's been a while since we added to this story so maybe reviews will
help us.. hint hint... jk, anything will do... Any reviews for me. Or just junk mail- seaquest_fan@yahoo.com
BTW- all the mistakes are mine since I didn't go over it very well... not Jessica's.. all mine...I'm greedy
yes...
people and we are not making any profit from this.
Author's note:
Ronica-This is the result of two ELF-ers that have too much free time and just wanted to goof off.
Jessica-Not to be taken seriously! But then again, we are never serious, are we???
Ronica- I was speaking Jess... We are not speaking for all the ELFS out there.
Jessica- yeah they have class!
Ronica- Jessica....
Jessica- *rolls eyes* fine, I let you say the note... geez, I am just trying to help but no..oww...*holds head in
pain*
Ronica- holding a base ball bat* Like I was saying, This story is just us being alittle weird…Enjoy.
The ELF Adventures of Ronica and Jessica
By: JOxER and Purple Penguin
"I'm coming," yelled Jessica Jolivette as the doorbell to her house rang. She was setting the chips and sodas
down on the living room table when the doorbell rang again. Jessica looked at her wristwatch. 'She is early,
it is only 6 PM,' Jessica thought but was interrupted as the doorbell rang again. "I told ya I am coming!" she
yelled again and went running to the door.
"Hey Jessica, took ya long enough," replied Ronica Hermosillo as her friend opened the door.
"I was busy!" Jessica shot back. Ronica only gave her a whatever look and walked, carrying her backpack
and a bag full of junk food, inside the 2-story house.
As the Jessica closed the door, her parents were coming down to the first floor. They were both dressed for
a special occasion.
"You girls behave," Jessica's dad warned the two girls.
"We will be home around midnight so don't wait up." Jessica's mom said. "The numbers for the play and
the restaurant are on the fridge."
"Don't worry you two. What can go wrong?!" Jessica replied with a evil grin.
"Don't start, Jess," Her father warned.
"Sorry, we will be OK. We will shut all the doors and windows and have the gun ready for any possible
intruders!"
"JESS..." Jessica's dad warned as the two girls laughed their heads off.
"We will be fine. Go on, have a great time!" Ronica said.
"Bye honey," Jessica's mom leaned over and gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead.
The two girls watched the couple exit the house and ran toward the window to see them drive away from the
house. The two girls simply looked at each other and grinned- freedom!.
"So did you bring them?"
"Ya think I forgot, Jess?"
"Yes, Roni!"
"I am hurt." Ronica said as she threw her backpack to Jessica. Jessica caught the pack and ran toward the
living room. Ronica followed as they both sat themselves on the couch. Jessica looked in the bag and was
very happy on her findings.
"I can't believe it, the whole series!!! We got all night to watch them!!!" Jessica said as she read the titles of
each VHS tape. "So which one should we watch first?"
"I love Stingers, or what about Nothing But The Truth? Or we can start with Siamese Dream??? Oh so
many to choose from!"
"No, what about Weapons of War, Fords eyes are just incredible when Lucas got hurt!"
"Wait, before we get into a fight like last time, why not leave it up to fate?" Ronica said as she took the
pack from Jessica. She placed all the videos back in her pack and shook them around inside the pack. "You
choose one!" Ronica held the pack to Jessica and Jessica reached in and pulled out a video.
"Special Delivery?" Jessica questioned. She was hoping for another one.
"I never really saw that episode... its the one where that evil twin Dagwood beats up Lucas remember?"
"Yeah but I don't watch it because they don't show HOW Dagwood hurt Lucas..."
"Yeah, go fig why the producer did that... but remember when Dagwood picked up Lucas and landed him
hard on the motorcycle" Ronica said as she began to laugh.
"Yeah, that was the only good part! But oh well, can't go back on fate." Jessica said as she stood up to
place the tape in the VCR. By the time she got back, Ronica was eating half the snacks and Jessica gave her
an evil look. Ronica just laugh as she popped more chips in her mouth and waited for Jessica to play the
tape.
Jessica grabbed the TV remote and sat herself back down to the couch. She hit the power and play button at
the same time.
"Hey, I heard you can blow your VCR if push all the buttons at the same time!!!" Ronica dared her friend.
"Oh is that so!" Jessica said as she frantically pushed all the buttons to the remote control, never knowing
that she was pushing a combination of codes. Jessica had pushed every single button and saw that the VCR
was still there. She wanted to call Ronica a liar when some strange noises were coming from the VCR.
Jessica stood up and checked it out. "Oh no, I think the VCR ate your tape."
"Hell no!" Ronica screamed as she went to see for herself. She tried hitting the eject button but there was no
use. The tape was in there. Ronica tried all the buttons in the VCR when suddenly the VCR shot out a
blinding light. The light made the whole room look white and Ronica and Jessica shield their eyes from the
light. When they removed the hands that were protecting their eyes, they were not in the living room
anymore. They were in front of a big gloomy house and it was really dark.
"I don't think we are in Kans..."
"Don't even think about it, Ronica." Jessica snapped back as they both heard noises coming from the house.
Curiosity got the best of them and they went to spy in a window. There, they saw something they could only
dream of- Dagwood was in the house.
"Oh no, it can't be!" Ronica assured herself that she was only dreaming the whole thing. "OMG!" she yelled
as a thought hit her. She quickly looked around her and she reconized her surroundings. "What we did ...
this is the Special Delivery episode!"
"But how?" Jessica said as she also reconized the house.
"The remote!" Ronica yelled as Jessica went to her pocket and felt the remote. "I think we opened a new
dimension from pushing the buttons on the remote. Do you know what that means?"
"Yes, that we are stuck in a episode and no way of going home! I have a big test on Monday!"
"NO, ok, look- Dagwood, well it is not Dagwood, but he will kill that doctor sitting in that chair." Ronica
said as the GELF killed the doctor. "You see, then in two days, Dagwood would escape from the hotel and
remember what happens next." Jessica shook her head. "Lucas will come looking for him down the
highway. Don't you know what that means?!"
Jessica began to think, of course! Lucas would be all alone, they could snatch him somehow and make their
stories a reality. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering!" Jessica asked.
"I think so, Brain, but were are we going to find a cheese house opened this late" Ronica mimicked
Pinkie from Pinkie and the Brain cartoons.
"No Pinkie, we are going to have fun with our little friend named Lucas!"
"OH!" the two girls walked away from the house and onto the road.
"Ok, we have two days, how much cash do we have together?"
"I have 71 dollars. And a button. You?" Ronica replied.
"Umm.. 69 dollars. OK that is a total of 130 dollars."
"140, my dear."
"Oh sorry, well, we can go rent a car and buy the stuff that we need."
"But where are we going to stash the stuff?"
"There are always houses empty around here. We just will have to find one after we rent the car. An old
creepy house!"
"Yeah, OK. It's a plan!" the two girls walked into the small town, as echoes of evil laughs filled the quite
sky.
As they reached the town, they passed a hardware store; Ronica suddenly stopped and grabbed Jessica's
hand. "This is it! We're here!"
Jessica looked around disinterestedly. "Roni, we're ELFs, not handy-men. What the heck would we want
with this place?"
Ronica rolled her eyes impatiently. "Man, are you new at this?! They've got all kinds of great stuff in
here." With that, she pulled Jessica into the store with her and expertly led her around the store. "Look at
this stuff – rope, chains, hammer, nails …." Ronica said as she pushed the shopping cart through the
allies! "An ELF toy store Jess!"
"A hammer and nails?" Jess asked in wonder. "What are you planning, Roni? You wanna build Lucas a
new desk for his computer or something?"
"Would you quit thinking like suburbian chick and start thinkin' like an ELF?! A hammer is always good
to have around; it has unlimited possibilities. If Lucas tries to get away, we can knock him over the head
with it, probably cause a really nice concussion and it's even forceful enough to draw blood!"
"And the nails?"
"We drop 'em in a puddle of dirty water for a while and then let 'em dry," Roni grinned mischievously.
"What a shame it would be for poor little Lucas to fall on a rusty nail, huh?"
"Ohhhhh," Jess grinned back, finally catching on. "I get it. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's see
what else we can find!" With that, the two girls went back to work, losing themselves in the fantasies of
pain, torture, and cruelty that were about to be realized. All in all, they spent $72 dollars in the hardware
store and came out with each of their arms filled with good stuff. When they stepped outside, they heard
sirens blasting as emergency vehicles went racing down the street.
"Hey, what do you think is going on?" Ronica asked.
"I don't know," Jessica answered. Then suddenly she realized, "Oh gosh, I bet those are the guys who
are going to arrest Dagwood …. errrr, I mean, Dag's evil twin …. I mean, Dagwood …. I don't know,
I'm so confused!"
"They actually arrest Dagwood, which means his evil twin, the one who actually killed Dr. Brown, is still
on the loose somewhere, so we gotta be careful, Jess," Ronica warned.
Jessica rolled her eyes. "Ronica, WE are not even part of this episode, remember? No one can hurt us.
We're just fans," she emphasized.
"If we're not part of this episode, then why am I holding a bag full of ELF-certified torture devices ready
to strike Lucas the minute he comes whizzing past on Bridger's motorcycle?" Ronica asked sarcastically.
"Because you are the type of person who plays Hangman just so you can lose and get to be the one who
hangs the man!" Jessica exclaimed as Ronica smiled, it was a fact. "Don't get paranoid on me, Roni. This is
gonna be a blast!"
"OK, then don't come crying to me when a big, bad Dagwood look-alike comes around," Ronica
shrugged, letting the subject drop. "Come on, we gotta go rent a car before my arms fall off from
carrying all this stuff." The girls found a car rental and rented a black truck, a 1985 F-150. Ronica
insisted on driving it and immediately began gushing. "Isn't it a beauty, Jess? It's a classic, got a V8
engine, an extra cab, 4 wheel drive …."
"OK, Roni, stop drooling all over it already," Jess teased. "Where are we going?"
Ronica just smiled. "Well, first we're going on a little cruise."
As Ronica sped down the down the highway, Jess kicked herself for letting her drive, 'She is a maniac!'
Jess yelled in her head as she gripped the handle near the door for dear life. Ronica was too in love with
her truck to see the look of fear in her eyes. Ronica turned on the radio and blasted it to full volume.
Jessica tried to protest the rock song but then decided not to and looked out the window instead. She then
saw something out of the corner of her eye… 'That's it!' Jessica yelled to herself.
"Stop the truck!" Jessica yelled to the insane driver. Ronica was trying to sing the rock song and she
couldn't hear Jessica yelling for her to stop. Jessica grew mad and grabbed hold of the wheel and made
the truck turn to the side of the road. Ronica braked real hard.
"What the hell are you on?!" Ronica replied as the truck came to screeching halt.
"BACK UP NOW!" Jessica yelled.
"WHY?" Ronica yelled back.
"I saw something… perfect!" Jessica said with an evil grin.
"Fine" Ronica rolled her eyes and started to back up. Jessica told her to turn right on the dirt road that
was behind them and went down the road. Jessica couldn't hold back her excitement and began to jump
in the passenger seat as they passed a FOR SALE sign. Ronica was more confused and hoped that
Jessica was not having a mental break down.
A couple of blocks away, Jessica saw what she had seen from the highway - it was a very old run down
house … well, maybe it was only a few years old but the old paint and the yard condition made the house
look ancient.
"This is why you dragged me to the middle of nowhere, to look at this piece of crap?!" Ronica said.
"Please, don't you see the possibilities here!"
"What??"
"Welcome to our little hide-out, Ronica. It is perfect, it is deserted and no one in sight for miles!!! Come
on!" Jessica said as Ronica stopped the truck. The truck was still going as Jessica jumped out of the
truck and ran towards the house. Ronica stopped the truck and locked all the doors and wiped a dead bug
from the windshield.
"Stop playing with your truck; come on," Jessica yelled to Ronica. She couldn't believe Ronica was so
obsessed with that stupid truck.
Ronica wiped the bug with her sleeve and then walked toward Jessica. Jessica was already inside the
house when Ronica opened the front door. The house from the outside looked terrible but the inside was
not that bad.
"Jess? Where are you Jess?" Ronica said, the house had some light coming through the windows but it
was still creepy. She heard from a distance Jess calling her name and Ronica went toward the voice. She
passed through the halls and the kitchen and found that the back door was open. She stepped outside and
yelled for Jessica again.
"Here, come down here! It is soo perfect!" Jessica yelled to Ronica. Ronica screamed from fright as she
turned to Jessica. She came out from double doors that seemed to lead to the basement of the house.
"Come on, scaredy cat!" Jessica laughed as she disappeared down the basement.
Ronica followed Jessica and found the Jessica admiring every inch of the basement.
"It is so perfect! Bring the stuff down here!!!" Jessica yelled as an evil plot began to take form in her
head.
"Do I look like your slave?!" Ronica yelled.
"Do I have to answer that?" Jessica said as Ronica crossed her arms. "Fine, I will help you! Come on,
this is going to be fun!!" With that, the two girls exited the basement and unloaded the truck. Jessica
laughed when she pretend to hit the truck and Ronica went to check out the damage. 'She needs to get a
life,' Jessica thought as Ronica began to wipe the dirt off the rear view mirrors. After they unloaded the
stuff from the truck, their stomachs began to rumble.
"I wonder if there is a nice Taco Bell here," Ronica hinted to her friend that she was hungry.
"Come on, but this time I drive!" Jessica said as she took the keys from Ronica pocket. Ronica was
going to protest but first of all she was hungry.
"All right, let's head into town." Ronica said as she climbed in the passengers seat and turned on the
radio. Jessica buckled up and drove off toward the town.
The first place that they came across to eat at that they could both agree on was a White Castle. They
sat for over an hour, eating what they thought were mini-hamburgers and fries, and coming up with a plan of
action. Finally, they left and returned to the house, prepared to go turn the basement into a torture chamber
for their favorite little blonde-haired genius.
Ronica immediately started toward the door to the basement. "Wait!" Jessica exclaimed. "First we gotta
scout out the rest of the house and see if there's any good stuff lying around."
Ronica grinned, "Great idea." So the girls began exploring the lower level of the house. The kitchen
turned out to be very useful, stocked with plenty of knives and other cooking instruments that looked like
they would make funky little weapons if necessary.
"Hey Roni, why do you think there's so much stuff in this house if it's for sale? Wouldn't the old owners
have taken this stuff with them?" Jessica asked.
"Good question. I don't know," Ronica answered as she turned the corner into the living room.
"Aughhhh!" she suddenly yelped.
Jessica came running. "What?!? What is it??" she asked frantically. By the time Jessica reached her,
Ronica had already caught her breath and started laughing. "What's so funny?" Jessica thought that
maybe her friend was losing her mind. Maybe getting sucked into the TV does that to a person? ……
"Jess, look!" Ronica exclaimed excitedly, pointing wildly around the room. Jessica looked and her mouth
dropped open. It was an ELF's paradise! The first thing that caught her eye was a large noose hanging
from a hole in the ceiling, and the best part was that around the ring of the noose there was a pink tint,
hinting that it had been used before. Hanging on the walls, instead of the ordinary paintings and
decorations, were axes and lances and sheets of metal. There were metal chains draped along the top of
the four walls, kind of resembling the Christmas lights that ELF use to decorate the infamous torture
chamber during the holidays. Shooting out from the walls all around the room were long metal spikes.
There was a small table placed on the side of the room with one chair at its side. On the arm rests of the
chair hanged several pairs of hand-cuffs, dangling innocently in the breeze created by the large black fan
sitting behind it. On the table sat a discarded syringe, half-full with a murky, blue-colored liquid. On the
wall on the opposite side of the room was a medicine cabinet, which held several bottles of liquids of
every color of the rainbow (How pretty, Ronica thought dreamily.). In the corner of the room, right
behind Ronica and Jessica, was a small dark crate. Ronica walked over to the crate and cautiously
peered inside. She looked up with a Jack-O-Lantern smile on her face. "Jess, you gotta see this."
Jessica walked over and looked. Inside the crate were dozens of rats, most of them scrambling around
and clawing at each other. They're starving, she realized delightedly. They would happily chew on
anything offered to them, and they would love the warm blood of a teenager shackled to the cold cement
floor of the dark and dreary basement. Jessica began to lick her lips greedily. "Ronica, how … how did
we get so lucky? Why do you think this stuff is here? What the heck kind of people owned this house?!"
Ronica was still looking around at the room with a wistful look on her face. "Who cares?" she
responded. "If there is a God, He is definitely an ELF." She gave Jessica a knowing look. "We gotta
check out the rest of the house!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah!" With that, the girls took off running though the rest of the house. "Man, I wish we had Lucas
here tonight!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly.
Ronica grinned, "Don't worry, Jess. We'll have our fun!"
Ronica and Jess went back to the basement and brought all the toys up to the house and into their new
torture room. After everything was done and planned out, Jessica looked at her wristwatch and yawned.
"Can't believe it's almost midnight!"
"I know, times flies when ya having fun!!" Ronica said as she followed Jessica with a yawn of her own.
"One more day, Jess, one more day!"
"I know.. but isn't this... I mean, we never would have done this in real life right?" Jessica said. She
always loved writing about pain and torturing Lucas but this was serious; this was going to be live and
real!
"Who is that talking? You told me this is not real remember? Now, all of a sudden, you got a
conscience!!! Get real girl, this is going to be fun!" Ronica reassured her friend that it was a perfect thing
to do.
The two girls returned to the truck to sleep in. They loved the house and all but it was still creepy to sleep
in.
Ronica sat in the drivers seat and stretched her legs to the passengers seat while Jessica took the extra
cab seat.
"Ronica..." Jessica had one question that was bothering her
"What is it…?" Ronica replied in a sleepy voice.
"After we do this, how are we going back home?"
"Huh?"
"So we torture Lucas for what, a month.. this is going to get old fast you know.... How do we get back
home? And what happens if someone finds us... we are going to jail..."
"Don't get so worried on me; remember how we got here?"
"The remote?"
"Yeah, all we do is push all the buttons again and we are home free!"
"How do you know if that would work?"
"I just do; now go to sleep before I knock you out!'
"Like you can try! Goodnight..." With in minutes, the two girls were asleep with huge smiles on their
faces... pleasant dreams for sure.
Early the next morning, the two girls went to town again for some food. Jessica insisted on going to the
White Castle but Ronica thought their food sucked. Ronica dragged Jessica to Sizzlers. After they paid
their bills, they were shocked that they only had around 20 bucks and Ronica's button to spend.
"This is not good!" Jessica replied.
"Wait … let's try the other cash!" Ronica said as she reached for her wallet in her back pocket.
"What would that be!" Jessica said as she crossed her arms. 'She been holding out on me' Jessica
thought.
"Plastic!" Ronica said as she whipped out her Verizon credit card.
"Let's go!" Jessica said as they went to the near by medical store to test the card out. They bought some
more stuff - including some sleeping pills and some empty syringes. The clerk asked for ID and
everything went smoothly. Next was going to the sport store and buying a fishing net, a flashlight with a
month supply of batteries, a b-b gun, a large blanket and a cool baseball bat. Jessica wonders what goes
on inside that little head of Ronica's and the two girls were off again on another shopping spree - this
time for some clothes and shoes! After spending around 1000 bucks at all the stores, they went to eat at
the White Castle. Ronica took some food in a doggie bag and left for home. Before leaving, Jessica went
to a liquor store and bought some junk food. Ronica only looked at her, thinking that she had gone nutts,
as she drove back home. The two girls went back to the house and repeated their plan in their heads until
they knew each step by heart. Ronica went to feed the rats the food she brought while Jessica looked at
her clock.
"Come on Ronica, it is 10 pm, let's get step one done now!" Jessica said.
"I'm coming, can't let these creatures die on us before the main guest arrives!"
"Stop it with those rats, they can eat plenty when we bring Lucas..."
"Oh hush up! I'm coming!" Ronica said as she closed the hatch door to the rats. She grabbed some rope,
the blanket and her baseball bat and loaded the truck up. Jessica followed with the junk food in hand and
they were off again. They drove to the highway where they knew Lucas would be riding by at 11 am.
They parked the car along side the road behind a bush and waited.
"12 more hours and counting!" Jessica said.
"Glad to see the ELF in you hasn't died out, Jess!"
"Sorry about that, I think I was going through a guilty stage."
"Understandable... just don't let that happen again!" Ronica said as she yawned. "This takes a lot out of
us, huh?"
"Yup... very tiring!!" Jessica said.
"Well, set your alarm at 9 am and see ya in the morning!" Ronica said as she leaned her head back and
closed her eyes.
Jessica programmed her wristwatch to 9 am and also fell asleep.
*-*-*
A small beeping awoke Ronica from her nice dream- no explanation on what it was- and shook Jessica
awake. The two girls began to laugh slightly as 11 am neared. The two girls stomachs started to rumble
and Jessica pulled out her junk food. Ronica thanked her for being a genius and began to eat. It was
10:45 and each second passed like an hour to the girls. Ronica was just about to turn on the radio when
she spotted something in the rear view mirror. She quickly turned on the truck and put it on drive.
"Was is it?!" Jessica said with excitement.
"Our little boy is right on time" Ronica said at the same time a black motor cycle passed their truck.
"It's show time!" Jessica said as Ronica began to pick up speed and was right behind the black
motorcycle.
The girls followed closely behind the motorcycle, watching as Lucas swerved back and forth between
the lanes on the road. "OK," Jessica was practically jumping up and down in her seat. "Now all we gotta
do is get him off that bike and into our truck."
"That sounds like the title to a bad country song, Jess," Ronica informed her.
"Sorry," Jessica grinned.
Ronica slammed the gas pedal down to the floor and the tires squealed. The girls saw Lucas look back in
his side mirrors, obviously wondering who the maniacs were driving behind him. Ronica took advantage
of the moment and pulled up right behind him, and then she gently nudged the back of his motorcycle.
Lucas wobbled a bit but managed to stay upright. Ronica was overjoyed as she pictured the look of fear
in Lucas' eyes as he studied her from his side mirrors.
"Harder, Roni!" Jessica urged. "You gotta hit him harder!"
"All right, hang on!" Roni practically yelled in her excitement, and she rammed up into the back of
Lucas' motorcycle, causing Lucas to lose control and tip over, flying into the ditch on the side of the
highway. Ronica and Jessica cheered and Ronica slammed on her brakes and backed up to the place
where Lucas had fallen off the bike. The girls all but ran from the truck and went in search of the young
genius.
They found Lucas lying on his side in some muddy water at the bottom of the ditch. "You don't think we
killed him, do you?" Jessica asked nervously as they made their way down to Lucas.
"Nah, don't worry about it. Lucas doesn't die that easily, remember?" Ronica answered with more
confidence than she felt. Both girls were extremely relieved to find Lucas still breathing when the finally
reached him and rolled him over. After all, you can't torture someone who's already dead.
Ronica removed the black helmet from Lucas' head to find a little trail of blood coming from his cheek.
Ronica grabbed Lucas' arms and Jessica took his legs and the girls attempted to carry Lucas back up to
the highway. About halfway up, Jessica suddenly groaned and dropped Lucas' legs, causing Ronica to
lose her balance and nearly tumble back down into the ditch.
"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Ronica yelled.
"Sorry," Jessica said apologetically, "but he is just so heavy. I thought he was supposed to be really
skinny and underweight, but the guy weighs a ton!"
Ronica rolled her eyes. "He does not weigh a ton, and he is super skinny. Look!" she exclaimed as she
pulled up the layers of clothes to expose his bare chest, "you can practically count every single rib!"
"Then why's he so heavy?" Jess whined.
Ronica gave her a playful nudge. "Maybe you're just a weakling after all."
Jessica stuck her tongue out at her friend and grabbed a hold of Lucas' legs again, this time determined
to make it all the way to the truck. This time, they made it all the way to the pavement when Ronica
suddenly let go of Lucas' arms.
"Ooomph," Jessica gasped as she tripped over Lucas and went sprawling across the highway. "Hey …."
"Jess, he moved!" Ronica exclaimed. Jessica's eyes widened and the girls immediately grabbed the rope
and the baseball bat from the back of the truck and stood over Lucas. Jessica immediately began tying up
Lucas' feet before he regained consciousness.
Lucas' eyelids fluttered a bit, and then he moaned softly and opened his bright blue eyes. Both girls took
a moment to drool and then went back to the business at hand. Lucas squinted at the two girls hovering
over him and then sat straight up, taking into account the rather large baseball bat in the brunette's hands.
"What the …! What are you doing?! Who are you?" Lucas exclaimed as he tried to struggle to his feet,
only to find that they were tied together.
"I wouldn't fight us if I were you," Ronica warned him, holding the bat high above her head, ready to
strike. Lucas looked at them with large, frightened eyes and stopped struggling. "Good boy," Ronica
praised him. "Now, my colleague here is going to have to tie your hands behind your back now. I hope
you don't mind," she said as she motioned for Jess to tie him up.
"Wait!" Lucas exclaimed. "No way! I mean, what do you want with me? Do you want money, codes,
classified information? What?!" He wondered what these two girls could possibly want with him. They
didn't look like politicians or enemy soldiers. In fact, they looked like two ordinary girls. What could they
want with him?
Ronica looked at Jessica. "Shall I explain it to him?"
"I think you'd better. Lucas looks pretty confused," Jessica responded.
Lucas interrupted them, "Wait. How do you know my name?"
Ronica smiled, flashing her white teeth at him. "Ya see, we know you're name because we are your
worst nightmare come true. We're ELFs, Lucas."
The two girls stood upright and were proud of calling themselves ELFs. Lucas looked back and forth
between them. "Elves?? You think my worst nightmare has to do with elves?? Obviously, you don't
know much about nightmares." Lucas laughed. " And if you're elves, where are your pointy ears?? The
funky shoes? What, are you sick of workin' up in Santa's workshop or something?" he asked
sarcastically, probably mostly out of shock. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he had to worry
about two psychotic girls claiming to be elves who wanted to tie him up and use him for batting practice.
Ronica and Jessica laughed. "No, Lucas," Jessica chided him. "Not elves. ELFs. E-L-F-s. Evil Lucas
Fans." Lucas looked at them with disbelieving eyes. "Our sole purpose in life is to cause you
unimaginable pain and torture, bringing you to the brink of death only to bring you back to life and knock
you back down again."
Lucas shuddered. This was worse than he thought. "B-but wh-y-y?"
Ronica smiled at him again. "That's the greatest part about being an ELF, Lucas. We don't need a
reason. We do this just for the hell of it. We love to do this!" With that, Ronica raised her baseball bat
again and brought it down hard on Lucas' head. Lucas cried out in pain and fell back, blinking up at them
dazedly before his eyelids fell closed.
"Good work, Roni," Jess congratulated her, finally able to tie up Lucas' hands. "This way he won't give
us any trouble until we're ready for him."
The girls lifted him back up and hoisted him into the truck, barricading him between them. "Hey," Ronica
complained. "How come you get to drive?"
"It's my turn," Jessica informed her. "Anyways, you got to take the first shot at Lucas."
Ronica rolled her eyes. "I only got to hit him with the bat. The fun stuff hasn't even started yet."
Jessica smiled. "But it's gonna start soon!" she exclaimed as she turned the key in the ignition and
headed back towards the torture chamber which awaited their young, blonde prisoner.
As they drove to the house, there was something that was bothering Ronica. A step they forgot ... She
began to think to herself.. 'OK, we knocked Lucas from his bike ... Told him about us ... Knocked him
out … Tied him up ... Going home ...?... ' "AHH!!" Ronica yelled as she remembered the fourth step
before going home. "Jess…." Ronica said to her friend as she drove the speed limit.
"Huh?" Jessica said, never looking at Ronica; she had to keep her eyes on the road.
"We forgot to get rid of his bike!"
"What?" Jessica said as looked at Ronica. She forgot about the bike and also forgot to keep her eyes on
the road. The truck swerved to the right and was followed by a large thump. "Oh shit."
"What the hell was that!?"
"I think I ran over something... someone.."
"Back up, let's see!" Ronica said with excitement. Jessica reminded herself to get other friends and
backed up the truck. Jessica and Ronica checked on their unconious teen and knowing that it would be
sometime before he would wake up, got out of the truck and inspected the thing they ran over.
"Dang!" Ronica said as she neared the body. Her eyes grew bigger to notice it was Dagwood. "Shit! It's
Dagwood!"
Jessica neared the body and shook her head. "This isn't Dag, this is... was his evil twin, remember?
Lucas finds him while driving along the highway. Oh man, we just killed him!"
"This means we are really changing the whole episode...!"
"Duh! Miss Genius here finally got it!"
Ronica got up and started back to her truck. Jessica gave the body one last look and also began to follow
Ronica. At that time, Ronica was at the driver's side door when the body on the road began to rise.
Jessica was a couple of feet's away when the body rose to a standing position.
"RUN!! JESS!!! RUN!!!" Ronica yelled as she started up the truck
"Do I look like Forrest Gump?" Jessica yelled back. She felt someone behind her and she turned slightly
to see who it was. She yelled in fright and ran, almost as fast as Forrest, to the truck. The twin began to
run after her and when Jessica was closing the passenger side door, the twin was at the window. The
two girls yelled in fright and Ronica stepped hard on the gas pedal. The twin was hanging on to the side
mirror but by the time the truck hit 40 mph, the twin lost his grip and took the mirror with him. The two
girls breathed heavily and stood in silence. Ronica was the one who broke the silence with her evil but
annoying laugh.
"You should have seen your face, Jess!"
"It's not funny! I could have gotten killed!"
"True, but you didn't! That is not the worse thing! You see what that big GELF did to my truck!" Ronica
said referring to the mirror!
"It's a bloody mirror! I was almost killed and you're crying over a mirror!"
"Hey, look. Sorry. Save that rage for Lucas here, OK?"
"FINE!" Jessica said as she noticed that the teen was still knocked out. She studied his face and body
until she knew every inch of the teen. She began to think about where to start. 'So many possibilities!
What about the face? No, we will leave that for the end. Broken ribs? Internal bleeding? Good thing I
took Anatomy last semester!'
Ronica noticed Jessica gaga eyes when she looked at Lucas. Who could blame the girl, the teen was hot!
But it also got her thinking, Lucas would wake up sooner or later and should they tell him about him.
"Jess," Ronica said as she turned to her friend.
"Yeah"
"Do you think we should tell Lucas about him just being a character in a Hollywood show? To tell him his
life is a lie and all?"
"What, are you nuts! Of course we are going to tell him! What kind of question is that! That would make
up his emotional pain. Get this - he would be so disturbed about the fact that he really doesn't exist! How
good can this get?!"
"You're right!" Ronica said as she speed down the highway back home. Ronica parked her truck behind
the house and opened the back door. Ronica grabbed his arms and Jessica the legs and began to carry
him into the house. They brought Lucas to the room and sat him on the chair and Ronica restrained his
legs to the chair while Jessica took the job of restraining his hands to the armrest. They got more rope
and got Lucas' neck tied to the back of the chair so he wouldn't struggle that much. Both girls stood back
to look at their prize.
"Hey, what about the PAL?" Ronica said.
"Oh yeah!" Jessica said as she searched the teen for the device. She reached him his back pocket and
pulled out the PAL and stepped on it. "Now no one knows where he is!"
"One last thing, we need to get rid of the bike."
"OK Roni, I will wait here!"
"Oh no you don't" Ronica said as she grabbed Jessica's arm "You are not doing anything while I am
gone!"
"But what if he wakes up?"
"He won't, come on!"
"All right!" With that, they took one last look at the sleeping teen and left to get the bike. By the time
they reached where the bike was, the bike was gone. There was no cops or security around so someone
must have taken the bike.
"Who… The evil twin!" Ronica said
"OK, so its gone, that was what we were going to do anyways, right? Get rid of it? It has been done for
us already! Let's go home and play!" Jessica whined.
"OK OK!" Ronica said as she headed back home. When they stepped off the truck, they heard a small
cry for help. Ronica and Jessica both looked at each other and realized the call was coming from inside
the house! They both ran inside the house while they yelled at each other.
"Told you he was going to wake up but no, you said he wouldn't! What happened if someone heard him?
Huh? What about if he had escaped? Or what…"
"Jess, shut up!" Jessica only pouted as they reached the room. Lucas had woken up and stopped
screaming for help when the door opened. He was shocked to see the two girls he thought he dreamt
were a reality. The two girls just stood in the doorway, not speaking a word to him or themselves.
"W-what do you want from me!?" Lucas shouted at the crazy girls. He tried to move but found it
impossible with his feet and hands tied and hard to breath with his neck tied so tight.
"Do we have to go through this again??? Thought you were supposed to be a genius or somethin', so
shouldn't you have gotten it on the first try?" Jessica said as Ronica tapped on her shoulder. They
whispered something to each other and Jessica laughed at Ronica. "Go for it!" Jessica told Ronica as
Ronica left toward the kitchen. Jessica made her way to the tied up teen. Lucas began to breath heavily
but there was nothing he could do. He would see if he could use his guy charm on the blue/green-eyed
girl
"Why are you doing this to me? I don't even know you two!"
"You don't? I am Jessica and the crazy girl with me is my friend Ronica. Enough about us though, we
know almost everything about you! You see Mr. Wolenczak, we know everything from your secret crush
on a Lt. Commander Hitchcock to your password for the Internex! By the way Lucas, it is…" Jessica
whispered the secret word into Lucas ears. " Oh, we know a lot about you," Jessica said as she stroked
his cheek.
"H-how?" Not everyone knew that password; he completely made it up.
"You see…" Jessica was about to explain when Ronica came in holding a knife. Lucas eyes widened as
he saw the knife in Ronica's hand.
"What are you going to do to me?"
"Something no one has ever had the gutts to do!" Ronica said as she neared the teen.
"That's right Lucas, we are going to…" Jessica made her sound affects. "give you a Ronica and Jessica
Personal Hair Cut!" Lucas eyes widen with fear.
"There is a pair of scissors in the drawer, but a knife hurts and that is just the beginning of the pain,
Lucas!" Ronica said as she brought the knife to Lucas' face.
Lucas began to whimper in fear. "Please, please, I don't understand. Please, just don't hurt me," he
begged Ronica.
The girls eyes just lit up as they heard the fear in his voice. This was even better, he was begging!
Jessica grabbed the ends of Lucas' hair and held his head back. Lucas gave a sharp yelp and began
panting as the rope grew tighter around his neck. Ronica took advantage of this and began sawing
through his hair with the knife, making tears of pain come to Lucas' eyes. He cried out and squirmed in
the chair, but the rope was tight around his arms and legs and he couldn't move his head around or else
he couldn't breath. It was a no-win situation.
Just as the girls were getting started though, Lucas gave a last strangled cry and passed out. Ronica
stopped. "Well that's no fun!" she complained. "Jess, what did you let him pass out for??"
"What do you mean 'let him pass out'?" Jessica asked. She bent down a little and untied the rope from
his neck, letting him get some more air. "Whose idea was it to tie that rope around his neck anyways?"
"YOURS!" Roni exclaimed impatiently.
"Oh," Jess said sheepishly. "Well, I'm sure I had my reasons."
Ronica was about to say something back when she noticed a pair of hazy blue eyes opening and blinking
unsteadily at her. Time to get down to business, Ronica thought. She bent down so she was looking
Lucas directly in the eyes. "All right, I guess the haircut can wait 'til later. But don't get the wrong idea
– passing out will NOT spare you any pain! If anything, that is just a goal for us to strive for, got it?" she
asked him.
"Yeah," Jess spoke up. "We like it when you pass out from pain. It lets us know that we gave you the
maximum amount you can handle, which is good."
Lucas eyes went back and forth between them. "You're crazy," he whispered.
Ronica and Jessica grinned proudly at each other. "Thank you," Roni said. Just then she became aware
of an insistent scratching noise, and remembered something. "Oh, before I forget, we've got to feel the
animals," Ronica reminded Jess.
Lucas was momentarily relieved. Great, at least these girls had pets. Dog-owners couldn't be all bad.
Maybe he could reason with them after all. He could offer to buy them a puppy if they let him go. Maybe
they would even name it after him – A dog named Wolenczak. Lucas smiled slightly at the image.
Jessica just looked at her for a moment before realization lit up her eyes. "Ohhhh, OK." She walked over
to the corner and picked up the small crate. She handed it to Roni. "Would you do the honors?" Lucas
was getting nervous again. Those girls had that glazed, crazy look in their eyes again. It could not be
good.
"I would be delighted," Roni said, gracefully taking the crate out of Jessica's hands. Jessica busied
herself tightening the rope around Lucas hands and legs and tying more rope around his mid-section,
ensuring that he couldn't wiggle out.
"OK." Jessica said as she grabbed the baseball bat near the door, just in case the little critters get an idea
to snack on them. She gave Ronica the thumbs-up sign. Ronica broke out into a huge grin as she opened
the crate and spilled the contents on to Lucas' lap. The two girls stepped away from the tied up teen and
watched the scene unfold…
Lucas screamed in horror as dozens of filthy, disgusting rats began scurrying all over him. They began to
claw at him, sinking their rat teeth through his clothes and into his skin. Lucas fought blindly against the
bindings, struggling to get away, but he couldn't move. God, it hurt! Those teeth were like knives ripping
away pieces of his tender flesh. Lucas screamed louder, praying that someone would come save him.
Three of the rats were traveling up his chest, approaching his face. Lucas started to cry as one of the
rats reached his shoulder and began nibbling at his ear. Lucas shook his head wildly, trying to knock off
the rat. Just then he felt fire race through his neck as one of the other rats scratched him with its tiny
claw, and he could not move his head without feeling a shooting pain. One of the rats was perched below
his chin and was nibbling on his cheek, causing a trail of blood to drip down on to Lucas' shirt. The other
rat had reached his mouth and Lucas had to clamp his mouth shut so the rat wouldn't climb inside.
Instead the rat chewed at his upper lip. Lucas choked and whimpered as the rat made its was around his
face, leaving little trails of blood behind. The pain in his stomach was becoming unbearable. A bunch of
the rats were still there. They had gnawed through his shirt and were now biting into the soft flesh of his
abdomen. Lucas sobbed as the intense, stabbing pains increased as the rats chewed through more and
more of his skin. Blood was fairly pouring from his abdomen, and the rats lapped it up greedily, digging
for more. Lucas continued struggling; his screams turned into gasps of pain. Suddenly, Lucas' desperate
struggles caused the chair to tip over. The rats wasted no time covering his entire body, biting and
chewing through Lucas' skin. Lucas screamed and yelled in agony as blood seeped from his body.
All the while, Ronica and Jessica had stood back watching the delicious scenes unfold. They had grown
even more excited when the rats approached his face and began nibbling there. They were most
impressed with the bloody mess the rats were making of his stomach. There was so much blood! Lucas'
blood! It was everything they'd hoped for. His terrified, pain-filled screams completed the picture, making
Roni wish they had thought to bring popcorn to the show. They stared in awe as Lucas struggled in the
chair, jerking desperately against the restraints. He continued to scream as the chair tipped over, fighting
and crying until he finally passed out. The girls left the rats alone for a few more moments before finally
taking out some raw steak they had bought the other day in the shopping spree and luring them back into
their crate.
They examined the blood-covered genius with child-like delight.
"Oh my god, that was great!" Ronica said as she placed the rat filled crate back in the closet.
"Yeah.." Jessica nearly said, she was left speechless…
"Well." Ronica said as she closed the door to the closet. "Lets get him back up right and clean him up."
"What do you mean clean him? How is he going to pick up an infection if you clean him up!"
"Clean him up using one of those bottles in the cabinet!"
"Huh?"
"Do you even know what they are?" Ronica said as she neared the unconscious teen.
"No?"
"Exactly, maybe it is a cleaning chemical and it will cause agonizing pain… or bleach?"
"Oh.."
"Alright. Get over here and help me!" Ronica said as she tried to pick up the chair. Jessica went and
helped Ronica put Lucas back up right and they both examined the teen. They were happy with the
results.
"Looks like he got cut up real bad…isn't it great!" Ronica said.
"Sure is Roni, now lets get a bottle and clean him up!" Jess said as she began toward the cabinet and
pulled out a pretty purple color bottle. 'Purple' Jess thought, she always loved that color. She grabed a
dirty rag that was in the cabinet and poured the contents on the rag. Ronica had cut through the torn
fabric of Lucas' shirt and waited for Jess.
"Lets see if this purple stuff is good stuff." Jess said as she applied the rag into the cuts. The cut began
to bubble and nothing happened.
"Well, at least we got some pretty bubbles!" Jess said as she cleaned all the cuts with her dirty rag.
"Oh well, now what? He is going to be out for a couple of hours."
"How do you know this stuff Ronica? Have you done this before?"
"No, it is simple math my dear. You know, 1+1=2… simple."
"Whatever, so wanna go to step 6?"
"Yeah, Sizzler has a great dinner special.." Ronica said as she placed her arm around her friend's
shoulders. Jessica agreed but made sure there was not going to be a de-javu again. She went and grabed
the dirty cloth and shoved it into Lucas mouth. Then, she got some more rope and gag the teen. Ronica
gave her 'oh yeah' look and the two girls laughed as they exited the room.
*-*-*-*-*-**-
Lucas awoke some time later to find himself alone. He drew a sigh of relief that soon followed by a
sharp pain in his chest. God his whole body hurt like hell. He would give his right arm for a painkiller right
now' Lucas thought as he tried to scream for help. No use, there was something in his mouth that tasted
awful. Lucas tired to spit out the gag but no use. Lucas tried again to wiggle free from the bonding that
held him but again, another loss cause. Lucas soon gave up and sat there alone in his thoughts. 'Who are
these crazy maniacs' He thought. 'Duh, they said they were ELFs' his mind reassured him. He was
asking questions to himself and getting responses. 'Ok, ELFs, evil Lucas fans… but why they would be a
fan of me? Do they know the vocoder information?' He asked. 'No silly, they just wanted torture me
again and again.' He answered back. 'All right, then how do they know about me? Why fans?' he asked.
He had no response. This is not good. He felt light headed and began to see purple objects coming from
the ceiling… they had green eyes and wings and…it looked like a chicken… they were coming after him.
Lucas tried to get away from the purple winged creators but he found it impossible. One of the creators
came near him and barked really loud. Lucas tried to scream but only got out a few moans. Lucas
started to see more of the creators coming from the ceiling and panic took over. He pulled more and
more against the restraints. The action caused his wrists and feet bleed but he had to get away from the
creators. Lucas struggled so much that he fell back, all with the chair, and hit his head hard on the floor,
causing him to pass out.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Jessica and Ronica had ordered their food to go and were headed back home. Ronica was driving again
and Jess once again hold on the door handle as Ronica made a sharp turn to the road to the creepy
house. They carried the food into the house and turned on the battery-powered flashlight.
"Oohhhhhh" Ronica said as she place the light into her face that casted an eerie sight.
"Oh stop it, ya don't need the light to be scary!" Jess said. Ronica gave her an improper hand jester and
they both entered the torture room. Ronica cast the light to where the chair holding their prisoner only to
find that the chair and the teen were gone. 'What the..' Ronica thought as she moved the flashlight
across the room. The light beamed on the floor and to the girls surprise, Lucas was on the floor.
"Hey, he is bleeding.." Ronica said as she notice the fresh bloodstains on the teen's arms and legs.
"Is that a problem?"
"No but still, there had to be a good reason for it!"
"True but come on, we ask later." Jess said. Ronica and Jess began once again to pick up the fallen teen
and placed him back to his up right position.
"Simple math huh?" Jess said
"Oh shut up! How's was I supposed to know he was going to wake up."
"Sure…" Jessica said as she untied Lucas gag. "I wonder what he was thinking when he was alone and
us not there… all sort of thoughts must have entered his head…"
"O.k. Jess, next time lay off the caffeine, come on, I am hungry." Ronica said as she left the room and
towards the kitchen. Jess followed and began to eat their nice healthy salad.
"I am so glad I don't live here, the future sucks. I mean, if this is what they call good food, their taste
buds must be dead," Ronica complained as she stabbed her salad.
"You were the one that wanted to go there, the white castle at least had some video games to play."
"Oh shut up!"
"Make me!"
"I think I will.." Ronica said as they two girls were interrupted by a cry for help. "Guess who is awake."
The two girls went running into the room, Jessica was fast and got there first. But Ronica pushed her out
of the way and got in first. Lucas gasped as the two girls neared him, 'planning something bad for me'
Lucas thought.
"Hey Lucas, what's up?" Ronica asked.
"GO to hell" was his response.
"Is that all you know what to say?" Jessica butted in. "What about fuck off you freaks or shove it or
something new like that! No, the genius came up with a good one- go to hell"
"Jess, it is a PG rated show, go to hell is appropriate!"
"A PG rated show?" Lucas asked, he hopes that he kept the girls taking that they wouldn't hurt him.
Well, delay the hurt…
"Go ahead and tell him jess."
"Well.." Jess began
"You are part of a TV show Lucas." Ronica shouted out.
"Roni, it is my turn to explain."
"Sorry, go on."
"Well, you are part of something Hollywood made up. You, your life, your friends, are all part of a TV
show from where we come from! We watched you during you playing air guitar in the captain's room to
where you went with Bridger to face off the regulator! Or what about you programmed the holograph
thing and made Carol speak when Bridger and Dr. Westphalen were making out? Lucas, you are not
real…"
"Oh sure, not real. That is why I am here bleeding to death and feeling woozy, what did you give me
anyway."
"Give you?" Jess said and shook it off. "Don't change the subject on me kid."
"Looks who's calling a kid, you are not that old yourself." Lucas grinned.
"Oh the famous Lucas grin, and no picture around. You don't believe us huh?" Ronica asked.
"If I believe that, I guess the world really is flat!"
"Well…" Ronica said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. She popped open the
sucker and tons of pictures came into view. She held up a picture to Lucas as she read the writing on
each picture's back. "You see, this is the actor that portrays you, his name is Jonathan Brandis." Ronica
said as she turned the page of her wallet pictures. Jess sat next to Lucas as she also admired the
pictures. "You see that, that is Roy Schneider, he play the captain right.? He also played in Jaws, which
is a great movie" Lucas nodded as the picture show continued. Ronica showed every single
crewmember that Lucas knew… even the new crew men that were there. "Oh here is Tony, ya knew
roomie who has gills and psi abilities but I don't think you know that yet. Not like the Dr. Wendy Smith,
she is annoying but she dies later on when the aliens come back..." Ronica continued to show Lucas the
new crew of seaQuest 2032. After the show was over, Lucas was speechless, there was so much these
girls knew about him; his life, the people he loved. For petes sake, no one knew about the computer
hologram…No, he could believe a word the two psychotic girls told him, he wouldn't!
"Ok, the show is over, believe us or not… it is back to business." Ronica said almost reading Lucas
thoughts, as she duged into her bag of supplies. "What do you think we should do first Jess?"
Jessica yawned. "Actually, it's been a pretty long day, and I'm beat. What do ya say we call it a night?"
Ronica stared at her. "Are you out of your mind? How long have we dreamed about this, and you're
saying it's bed-time?"
"Not everyone can live on two hours of sleep a night, Roni. Some of us need our beauty sleep."
Ronica dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder and batted her eye-lashes. "I suppose all of us
can't be naturally as beautiful as me." Jessica jokingly made gagging noises and Ronica jabbed her
playfully in the arm.
"Um, excuse me crazy ELF ladies, but what about me? Do I go to sleep now too?" Lucas interrupted.
Since they told him that he is supposedly a fictional character, Lucas was going to prove them wrong by
acting as real as possible. Surely, only real people got tired.
Ronica and Jessica gave him innocent smiles. "I'm not going to stop you from sleeping," Jessica told him.
Lucas frowned. "You mean I have to stay in this chair all night?" He was getting tired of sitting there.
His behind had fallen asleep, and his wrists and ankles were raw where the ropes were tied around him.
He would have gladly paid Piccolo just to be given the bottom bunk right about now. Suddenly he
remembered what the weirdo ELFs had said. Piccolo, a psychic, yeah right, Lucas thought. The man
barely used his own brain; there was no way he could go poking around in other people's heads. That
was about as likely to happen as Commander Ford cracking a joke.
Ronica disappeared into the kitchen for a minute. Jessica walked around Lucas, making sure the bindings
were tight. "Don't worry, Lucas," Jessica said. "I'm sure you'll have pleasant dreams tonight."
Ronica returned carrying a bucket.
"What the hell do you have in there?!" Lucas asked, fearful of any more rats. His body already ached
horribly from the damage done by those damn rats, not the mention whatever drug the girls had used on
him.
Ronica understood his fear. "No more animals to worry about tonight. Instead, we have a nice surprise
for you. We figured you might be getting thirsty." With that, she dumped the contents of the bucket on
top of Lucas' head.
Lucas shrieked as ice-cold water shocked his body. Goose-bumps immediately appeared on his pale flesh
and he began shaking. He tried to bring his arms up to hug himself, but they were tied down.
"Hey, that's a cool trick," Jessica exclaimed. "Let me try that." She took the bucket from Ronica and
headed into the kitchen, returning moments later with a full bucket. She moved to pour it on top of Lucas.
"N-n-no," Lucas pleaded through chattering teeth. "P-please."
"Sorry, Lucas, I can't resist," Jessica told him before emptying the bucket on his head.
Lucas shrieked again, gasping. His whole body was shaking fiercely with cold. The girls were delighted
when they noticed that his lips were turning an odd shade of blue, as was the delicate skin around his
eyes.
"Sleep well, Lucas," Ronica called out before she and Jessica headed out to the truck to get some sleep.
Jessica was about to open the passenger-side door when she realized something. "Hey Roni, we've left
him alone twice now, and both times we've come back to find him awake and screaming or lying on the
floor or something, right?"
Roni shrugged, "Yeah, so what?"
"So I think that one of us should stay with him, to make sure that he doesn't get away or do anything
stupid."
Ronica grinned. "Well, since that's the first good idea you've had all day, I'll let you take the first shift.
Have a nice night in that creepy house," she called out before stretching out in the front seat and shutting
the door.
Jessica frowned but headed back into the house. She saw Lucas still sitting where they had left him. He
was still shivering so severely that it looked more like he was convulsing. Jessica noticed that his head
was slumped forward and his eyes were nearly closed. She grinned, figuring that he was becoming
hypothermic. She sat down in the corner of the room and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. She
began to dream about all the fun things they could do with Lucas. She wondered what Ronica would pull
out of her bag of tricks in the morning.
Early the next morning, Ronica kicked Jessica laying in the floor fast asleep. Jessica rubbed her eyes as
she saw what woken her up. The two girls turned to see Lucas fast asleep. Ronica only smiled and
grabed Jessica's arm and lead her to the kitchen.
"Get all the bottles, glasses, anything that brakes from the cabinets!" Ronica ordered Jessica as Ronica
went through the cabinets.
"What are you planning?"
"Well, I was dreaming last night that I was in a Jackie Chan movie.." Ronica began.
"Oh wow, that is very helpful, so what, are you going to pull a Jackie Chan move on Lucas?"
"No silly, do you remember the movie Rumble in the Bronx?"
"Yes.. But what that does that have to do with Lucas?"
"Well, we have glass bottles and a bat…"
Jessica stood there wondering. Of course, a part of rumble was that Jackie was stuck in the corner and
the gang were playing baseball and… "Oh that is perfect!" Jessica said as she grabed some glasses and
headed toward the room. Ronica followed with some more glasses and the bat. They entered the room
and found that the teen was still asleep.
"Should we?" Jessica said as she examines the peaceful teen.
"Duh" Ronica said as she went to one side of the chair and Jess to the other side. Ronica hold up her
hand and began to raise each finger up, she was counting to three. On the third finger, the two girls
screamed in Lucas ears. Lucas woke up screaming too and them looked at the two girls. Jessica and
Ronica laughed as they were preparing to play baseball. Lucas screamed again as he saw the room
where he was. It was daytime and the room was clearly visible.
"What's wrong with you?" Ronica asked
"What kind of people are you?"
"What? The room? You like it?"
"You are a freak!"
"Hey… thanks!" Ronica said as she wrapped an old rag around the baseball bat. Lucas saw the bat and
wondered what kind of torture game they had plan for him. He had to avoid it.
"So where were you when your friend over there beat the crap out of me!" Lucas yelled at Ronica.
"What is this?" Ronica said as she neared Lucas.
"Your friend, Jessica, she beat the crap out of me last night."
Ronica grew mad, she turned to Jessica. "Is it true? You had fun with out me???"
"Yes, but he asked for it..." Jessica said.
"What the hell are you on!!!" Ronica said as she began to pace back and forth with the bat.
"Look, it was a mistake, but don't use up your anger on me, we have a nice volunteer waiting for you."
Jessica said as Ronica neared her with the bat. Ronica swung the bat and stopped.
"You're right." Ronica soon moved from Jessica and neared Lucas once again. "Thanks for the rush.
You like baseball right?" Lucas only looked in horror, he made things worse.
Jessica and Ronica went near the doorway and Jessica handed her the glasses. Ronica tossed one up in
the air and hit the glass. Sending the glass towards Lucas. The glass came in contact to one of Lucas tied
up legs and shattered in millions of pieces on contact. Lucas screamed as some of the glass cut into his
jeans and into his skin. Jessica handed another glass and this time, hit Lucas on the chest. Lucas
screamed again and the two girls smiled as blood was seeping into his clothes. After a few rounds of
baseball, Ronica handed the bat over to Jessica and Jessica had her fun too. Lucas was now panting very
hard and in very much pain. Glass was everywhere, cutting into him and even seemed that it was seeping
into his skin. At the last glass, Jessica hit the glass and it hit Lucas shoulder. The glass broke and some of
the glass piece hit Lucas face. Lucas screamed as the glass entered his mouth and began to cut up his
gums. Lucas tried to spit out the glass. Ronica and Jessica began to laugh as blood began to fall from
Lucas mouth.
"Please, help me. Get this out of my mouth." Lucas pleaded, having a plan in his mind.
"Why should we!" Jessica replied as she stuck her tongue at him
"If you guys don't, I am going to swallow this and I will die."
"So?" Jessica answered back.
"What are you saying so, you want him to die?" Ronica asked and told Lucas to spit out the glass.
"I cant you stupid moron, it is under my lip. I think it is stuck."
"Eww.. I am not going to get it out!" Jessica said
"Neither am I"
"Fine, I will just die." Lucas said. He knew that the two girls don't want him dead, he hope that this, he
could use to his advantage.
"Oh shut up!" Jessica said as she turned to Ronica. Jessica held out her hand in a fist. Ronica followed
and shook her hand three times. Jessica did the same and on the third shook, they both hold out there
hands.
"Haha, rock crushed scissors!" Jessica said as she won again at paper rocks scissors. Ronica curse
slightly and went to Lucas.
"Fine, open up!" Ronica said as Lucas opened his mouth. Ronica searched his mouth and found nothing.
When she felt something at his bottom lip, Lucas made him move and bit Ronica's fingers. Ronica
screamed and punched Lucas in the gut. Lucas automatically let go of his grip and was pleased that he
injured his captive. Jessica began to laugh hysterically as Ronica held her fingers.
"You son of a bitch!" Ronica said as she left the room.
"Holly shit, you are going to get it now!" Jessica said
"What?"
"You don't know Ronica as I do… she gets her revenge!"
"Oh I am so scared."
"You should be!" Jessica said as she heard the truck being turned on. Jessica left the room and saw
Ronica moving the truck to the back of the house. Ronica parked the truck near the kitchen back door.
Ronica popped the hood open and pulled out some cables. Ronica began to hook up the cables on the
trucks old battery and set the other set down. Ronica went back into the house and Jessica stopped her.
"What are you planning?"
"Help me and you will see."
With that, Ronica and Jessica entered the room and went on each side of Lucas.
"What are you two doing?" Lucas asked. Ronica didn't response or Jessica.
"Jessica, help me move him to the back door." Ronica said as the two girls began to move Lucas.
"Hey, someone tell me what's going on!" Again neither of the girls answered him. Lucas began to
struggle but Ronica began to punch him in the gut. Lucas stopped struggling. As they reached the back
door, Jessica and Ronica stopped.
"Are you two going to cook for me now?" Lucas said as he saw he was at the kitchen.
"Will you tell me what are you going to do?" Jessica asked Ronica as she ignored Lucas. Ronica didn't
answer her and she went to the truck and turned it on. The truck came alive and Ronica came back to
the kitchen. She them went toward the kitchen and filled up a bucket of water. She went towards Lucas
and dumped the water on him.
"Not again" Lucas sighed as he felt the coldness of the water.
"Oh no my boy…" Ronica finally answered the teen as she went over and picked up the cables. She held
each one in her hands and as she put them together, the two cables sparked. Jessica finally understood
what Ronica was going to do.
"I call this, payback!" Ronica said as she neared the teen with the cables. Lucas struggle away from the
cables but it was no use. The cables end made contact to his wet body and sent electric pain all over his
body. His screams were louder than ever but to uncaring ears they fell to. Ronica released the cables
and waited to Lucas to recover from the first blow.
"Please, stop." Lucas pleaded and Ronica took it as a go on. Ronica placed the cables to Lucas again
and again, he screamed louder as his body went wild from the shocks! After the third strike, Lucas
screamed and finally pasted out. Ronica held the cables a little more long and finally let go. Lucas body
was still twitching when Ronica went to turn off the truck. Ronica went over to Lucas and gave him her
famous left hook. Satisfied, she asked Jessica to help her put Lucas back.
"Wow.. That was something!" Jessica said as she entered the room again.
"Yeah… that guy has sharp teeth. And if you ever go behind my back and have your fun, I will do the
same to you!"
"Understand! Crystal! Sorry… But that was amazing! Where you learned that?"
"Other stories I have read…"
"Genius!"
"Whatever, lets get him clean up again" Ronica said as she went to the cabinet and pulled out a white
color bottle. Ronica wet the rag and cleaned the new bloody cuts Lucas got from the glass. When the job
was done, Jessica placed the bottle back and spotted something. There were little rocks in the cabinet…
white little rocks..
"Hey Ronica, get over here." Jessica yelled. Ronica made her way and asked what she wanted. Jessica
held up some of the mysteries rocks and Ronica face lit up like a jack o lantern.
"OMG! That is heroin! Get some syringes!"
"How do you know that?"
"Well.. um.. I .. it was in a movie! Get a spoon and I will get the lighter from the truck!" Ronica said as
she went to the truck and returned to the room with the lighter.
"Fine now what do we do?" Jessica said as she held the rocks and spoon.
"Ok, place the rocks in the spoon and I will heat them up with the lighter. Once they turn into a liquid, we
will fill the syringes and give them to little healthy Lucas over there!"
"Oh that is bad… what are we waiting for!" Jessica said as they prepared the drug. It didn't take long to
get the rocks to melt and the syringes filled. Ronica went to Lucas and tied a rope around his arms to
stop the blood flow. 'She's done this before' Jessica thought as Ronica tapped Lucas arms and felt for a
vein. Ronica emptied the contents into Lucas and waited. Even if he was unconscious, it wouldn't take
long for the affects of the drug to take over the teen.
Jessica frowned. "Hey Roni, are you sure you only saw this in a movie? You do that a little too well, in
my opinion."
Ronica gave Jess an exasperated look. "Jess, do you know how long I've been waiting to get Lucas like
this?! I made some notes of things I wanted to do. I'm not a drug user, if that's what you're thinking."
Jessica grinned and nodded. "Good, cuz I gotta tell you girl – you're crazy enough without drugs!"
Roni grinned proudly. "Yeah I know."
Just then, Lucas awoke with a start. Pain traveled up and down his limbs and he started to scream. He
wanted to get up, and get away from the pain, but he was still tied to the chair. He cried out as the
stabbing pain turned to a terrible burning sensation in his abdomen. It felt as if his stomach was on fire.
Ronica and Jessica laughed as Lucas started screaming. Then the fun really started – Lucas's screams
became hysterical as the hallucinations started. He frantically jerked against the ropes and began
screaming things like, "GET OFF ME!!" and "HELP!!" and "NO!! GET AWAY!!". His screams were
so loud that they literally shook the walls. Roni and Jessica laughed again as Lucas' desperate fight
caused his chair to tip over yet again.
However, then something unexpected happened. Somehow the rope that was around Lucas' legs and
chest loosened, and Lucas was able to pull away from the chair for the first time since he arrived. He
was still screaming and hallucinating. He shoved the chair away with his shoulders and somehow
stumbled to his feet before the girls even knew what was happening. His hand were still tied to the arms rest
but them too had broke free somehow. Lucas blindly ran from the room, screaming deliriously. "LEAVE
ME ALONE!! NO!!! HELP ME!! GET OFF ME!!".
Jessica and Roni panicked, running after him. They heard the front door open and knew they had to
catch him quickly or else they would lose him. They chased him outside, just in time to see him run into a
tree and get knocked to the dirt ground. He was still screaming and kicking his legs wildly, trying to fight
off whatever terrifying things he was hallucinating.
Before Lucas could get up and start running again, the girls tackled him and tried to hold him still. They
were all struggling, rolling around on the ground. Lucas kept screaming and trying to push them away. It
took all the strength Ronica and Jessica had to hold on to him.
"RONI!" Jessica yelled over Lucas' cries and she tried to pin his arms down to the ground. "WE'VE
GOT TO GET A TRANQUILIZER OR SOMETHING!" Jessica and Ronica struggled and both of them
never knew when the remote control had fallen to the ground.
Roni gasped as Lucas kicked her in the side. "HOW? IT'S TAKING BOTH OF US TO HOLD HIM!!"
The trio continued rolling around on the ground, the girls practically getting beat up by Lucas' hysterical
fighting. Just when the girls were getting desperate, a large shadow hovered over them. Then, huge
hands reached down and grabbed Lucas and picked him up. Lucas was engulfed by large, strong arms
that were able to hold him still.
Ronica and Jessica looked up, and they both gasped at what they saw. "DAGWOOD?!" Jessica
practically screamed. The girls scrambled to their feet in an instant.
Roni pulled Jessica back a couple of steps. "How in the world are you here?!? This is the Special
Delivery episode …… You are supposed to be in prison for LIFE!!!!"
Suddenly Jessica realized something. "RONI! They send the wrong Dagwood to prison, remember?!"
Roni's jaw dropped and she stared at the large GELF. "Wait a minute, then that means you're …."
"Take me home!" the evil twin GELF said to the screaming Lucas. Lucas heard nothing as he continued to
scream his head off. The evil twin shook the teen so he would stop screaming.
"GET AWAY!! GET THEM OFF ME!!! THE PURPLE CHICKEN IS GOING TO EAT ME!" Lucas
screamed to the giant GELF. Roni and Jessica only looked at each other, smiling but wondering why was
Lucas seeing purple chickens. Their attention was drawn back to the GELF as he shook Lucas once more to
shut him up then tossed him to a tree. Lucas made contact with the tree and passed out.
"HEY! If you want to hurt Lucas, get in line!" Ronica said as she neared the giant. The evil twin only
looked at her and grabed her by her shoulders. She too was thrown to the tree and also was knocked out.
She slid off the tree and lay near Lucas. Jessica took notice that Ronica wasn't moving and that Jessica was
right. The evil twin was the one that stole Bridger's bike as it was near the tree where the two had been
thrown. Jessica felt too scared to run, she was frozen in place as the giant GELF neared her.
"HOME!" The giant elf said to the scared girl. Jessica only nodded as headed for the truck. The evil twin
picked up the bike and threw it inside the truck. Then, he picked up the two unconscious bodies and threw
them in the back of the truck. Jessica drove the two to the Gen-U-Flec Inc science building, where
Dagwood and the evil Dagwood were created. They both got off the truck and Jessica turned to see that
Roni and Lucas were still out cold. The GELF grabed her arm and began punching Jessica on the face.
Jessica was knocked out in a matter of seconds and the GELF preceded to go inside the building. Moments
later, another big looking GELF steps near Jessica. Jessica rolls over and sees a big GELF standing right in
front of her. She panics and starts to run away into the building. Jessica runs inside only to scream again as
another GELF was inside. Jessica tried to go back outside when the GELF from the outside now was inside
with the other one. Jessica was now confused. There were two of them inside! Jessica quickly thinks and
tries to make sense of it all... of course, the one from the outside was Dagwood! She got the beating that
Lucas got in the original episode!. Jessica neared the GELF that came from outside.
"Dagwood?" The GELF looks down at the beaten girl and nods. Jessica smiles and hides behind Dagwood.
The two GELF's see each other and the evil twin makes the first move. Evil Dagwood punches the real
Dagwood in the face and Dagwood was knocked down to the ground. "I think I should be going" Jessica
said as she leaves the two GELF's in the building. Jessica runs outside to the truck when some uniformed
people start making their way to the building. Jessica said to a halt. 'Oh shit!' Jessica said as she
recognized the people coming towards here.
"Are you alright?" Commander Jonathan Ford asked Jessica.
"I'm fine Fo.. sir." Jessica said
"Oh my, who beat you up?" Lt. James Brody asked as he took Jessica's face in his hands. Jessica couldn't
reply as a screaming Loni Henderson called out to the two crewmembers.
"Jonathan! Jim! Its Lucas…" Loni said as she went running back to the side of the building. 'Oh no'
Jessica thought again as she knew the truck with Ronica and Lucas were in. 'How am I going to explain
this!' The two crewmembers went running near the side of the building and Jessica followed the two. Ford
eyes grew up in shock as Loni pointed to the inside of the back of the truck. Lucas was there, lying on his
back and covered in burses and scratches. Ford gasped as he saw another person near Lucas. Bridger's Bike
was sandwiched between the two.
"Who's that." Brody asked his commander.
"Its Ronica." Jessica answered the question. The three people turned to Jessica with question looks. "She
and I… we were driving along side the road where we were stopped by this guy. He jumped in our truck
saying that he was being attacked and out of no where, there was this big GELF attacking the truck…
umm..Roni tried to stop him but… well.. she got hit on the head… Lucas and Roni were both unconscious
and the GELF told me to drive him here… umm.. He was the one that beat me…" Jessica continued to lie as
a loud explosion was heard, coming from the near by window. Brody picked up Lucas from the back of the
truck and Ford picked up Ronica as they all headed for the front of the building. Jessica followed them as
Dagwood emerged from the building. Loni raised her weapon to shoot the GELF. She believed that
Dagwood could never hurt anyone but he was still a convicted felon.
"Don't shoot! He is the one that helped me." Jessica said as she neared the GELF. "Dagwood?" Jessica
whispered to the Gelf. Dagwood nodded and Jessica gave him a big hug. Dagwood hugged back and
looked at his friend standing there. Dagwood let go of the girl and neared Brody.
"Um.. whats wrong with Lucas.?"
"The other guy looking like you beat us up Dag." Jessica said.
"You mean there are two of them running around?" Loni asked.
"Duh!" Jessica said. Loni was about to response to the rude girl when the person in Jonathan's shoulders
began to moan. Jonathan set her down on the ground and Ronica began to wake up. Ronica opened her
eyes and was in shock to see a Commander Ford looking back at her.
"Oh shit!" Ronica said as she tried to get up and move away from the commander. She had thought that she
had another elf dream but seeing the commander proved that everything was true.
"Shh.. we are not going to hurt you. I am Commander Ford from the seaQuest."
"Yeah Roni, they are here to help. Remember, that big evil GELF beat the crap out of you while we tried to
save Lucas? R_e_m_e_m_b_e_r?" Jessica stressed. Ronica looked around confused only to come face to
face with a huge sign. It read Gen-U-Flect, Inc. Ronica thought for awhile until it hit her, they were not in
the house anymore, somehow they were in the lab where the evil GELF told Lucas where to take him.
Ronica smiled as she remembered the fear Lucas had… 'oh my god, LUCAS!' She had completely forgot
about the teen. They were going to be in so much trouble. Ronica sat up and began to grab her head.
"Are you alright?" Commander Ford asked.
"Yeah, someone tell the world to stop spinning please." Ronica blurted out.
"She's fine commander. I am worried about Lucas over there." Jessica said as she mentioned with her head
to Brody. Brody had set Lucas down the same way Jonathan did with Ronica. Brody was trying to wake up
Lucas but to no use.
"Commander." Brody called. Commander Ford neared the Luitenet. The rest followed.
"I am not doctor sir but Lucas was more than beaten up." Brody said as he pointed to each bruise. "He has
been scratched with something sharp and it seems that he has been bitten by small but sharp teeth. He has
bruised all over." Brody said as he lifted up Lucas torn shirt. Loni and Ford both gasped as Ronica and
Jessica tried to hide their laughter. "We need to get him to a hospital. Them too." Brody said as he pointed
to the two girls.
"Oh no sir, we are fine." Jessica said. "Isn't that right Roni?"
"Yeah." Ronica said as she tried to walk to her friend. She was still a little dazed but they couldn't go to the
hospital, so many questions will be asked… too many for their own sakes.
"Brody, get the hummer." Brody obeyed as Commander ford turned to the two girls. "You two are going to
the hospital if you like it or not." Ford said as he turned his attention to Lucas. Jessica and Ronica looked at
each other. This is not good. Then a light went off in Ronicas head.
"Fine, we will go to the hospital but we will follow you in my truck. It's my dad and he will be very pissed
if he doesn't get it back in one piece. Besides, we can't all fit in that Hummer. Maybe we do but you need
to lie the kid down and there will not be room for us." Ronica said as Jessica thanked her in her head.
"Ok, but follow us close. Have your friend over there drive for you, you look more worse off then her."
Jonathan said as Brody came up in the black hummer. The two men carefully placed Lucas in the middle
seat of the hummer and they watched as Loni and Dagwood entered the Hummer. Jonathan moved to the
drivers seat and gave the two girls an ok sign. Ronica and Jessica nodded and Ronica went to the driver
side. They began to follow the hummer.
"What are we going to do Ronica!" Jessica whined.
"Go home. Get your remote and zoom us out of here Jess!" Ronica said and Jessica began to search her
pockets.
"Uh oh."
"What do you mean Uh Oh!"
"I think I lost it. I think it is back at the house!"
"LOST IT! WHEN!!"
"I dunno, when you lose things you normally don't remember where!"
"I think I do, when we wrestled Lucas… it has to be there."
"Alright, now how are we going to get ride of these people."
"I have a plan. We have to go back to the house and get the remote. We have to go back home now. If
Lucas wakes up, we are going to jail for sure." Ronica said
"But how are we going to get away from the people!"
"Why you think I am driving!" Ronica said as she spotted a near by road. She made a quick turn and
entered the road. The hummer began to brake and back up but Ronica was too much of a racer and by the
time the Hummer entered the road, the truck was thousands of feet away. The hummer didn't follow the
truck and Ronica and Jessica cheered!
"YES! We lost those suckers!" Ronica said as she made a hoo hoo sound.
"Alright then, lets go home and... go home!" Jessica sat back and relaxed, they were finally going home.
"Yeah! To bad that we had a short two days with Lucas only… but it sure was fun!" Ronica said as she
turned on the radio and glad that Rob Zombie was playing. Jessica moaned and covered her ears as Ronica
sang- I feel so bad, I feel so numb!.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
OK, This is Ronica (JOXER), anyways, the story was written back and forth between the two of us.. So its
Jessica's turn to continue the story so send her evil mail at her addy- redhead1981@hotmail.com for her to
hurry up with the next part. Anyways, it's been a while since we added to this story so maybe reviews will
help us.. hint hint... jk, anything will do... Any reviews for me. Or just junk mail- seaquest_fan@yahoo.com
BTW- all the mistakes are mine since I didn't go over it very well... not Jessica's.. all mine...I'm greedy
yes...