Author's Note:
Sorry this took so long, and thank you for your responses. I wrote it several weeks ago, but haven't had a chance to post. I hope y'all dig.
Part Four:
Shopping with the Undead
Buffy was, yet again, grumpy. It was ten-thirty, and she'd already snapped at Dawn, rolled her eyes at Willow and Xander's worried, depressed faces, and staked three vampires, but nothing seemed to relieve the tension that hovered just between her shoulder blades. What she really needed was Spike.
Er. To kick Spike's ass.
But Spike was still AWOL. Dawn had mentioned something about seeing him, so she knew he hadn't disappeared for good, but her Spike-radar hadn't so much as blipped for a week. But in the absence of her favorite punching bag, she was forced to rely on an old tension-relief standby: ice cream. She stomped into the Sunnydale grocery store and was heading for the frozen foods section when a flash of black and white-blonde caught her eye. Buffy skidded to a halt, ducking behind a display of fruit roll-ups, and peered around the aisle.
It was Spike. But- what was he doing? He was in… the natural foods aisle! Scowling at the soy milk! Or maybe the rice milk. She watched, wide-eyed, as Spike frowned, shrugged, and tossed both soy and rice milk boxes into his hand cart and rounded the corner, veering left. Quiet as a cat, Buffy followed, trusting that the clash of scents and noises of the supermarket would disguise her presence.
Canned food aisle, no Spike. Paper products aisle, no Spike. Feminine products aisle- Spike?
Had the world gone mad?
Spike was standing, completely unembarrassed, in front of a display of tampons. As Buffy watched, mouth open, he calmly added an aqua-colored box of feminine hygiene products to his basket and headed for the checkout counter. Buffy barely had the presence of mind to scurry out of smelling range.
I am not going over there, Buffy told herself in the relative safety of the pet food aisle. I am not curious. I will be strong.
But her feet started moving, and before she knew it, so did her lips.
"Lactose intolerant, Spike?"
Spike's head jerked up and he froze for a split second. Then he visibly relaxed and continued unloading his basket. Buffy did a quick inventory. The rice and soy milk, the tampons, nail polish remover, some yellow legal pads, mangoes (mangoes?) and granola. "Evening, Slayer." The young man behind the counter started ringing up Spike's purchases. "And can I have a pack of those, mate?" Spike pointed to his cigarette brand of choice.
"You know, all the granola and rice milk in the world won't fix your diseased lungs," Buffy pointed out. Then she frowned. Spike didn't have diseased lungs. Why, then, the granola? Before she could stop herself, the question was out.
"Er." Spike looked vaguely uncomfortable. "It's for a friend."
"A female friend?" Buffy's eyes narrowed.
Spike spluttered with indignation. "What makes you say that?" Wordlessly, Buffy pointed to the aqua-colored box in the young man's hand. "Oh. Yeah. Hmm." He thought about it, and then seemed to make up his mind. "Yeah, this particular friend is female. Quite lovely, too. What's the matter, Slayer? Jealous?"
"Right," Buffy said, as sarcastically as she could manage. "Get over yourself, Spike. I'm just trying to figure out what kind of a demon eats tampons, rice milk, and granola. Oh, and mangoes. Are you gonna tell me, or do I need to beat it out of you?"
Spike smiled his most charming smile at the very nervous checkout guy. "Sorry. We can't always be sure that she takes her meds. What do I owe you?"
"Eighteen-fifty."
Spike fished a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to the guy. Picking up his bag, he turned back to Buffy. Then his eyes widened, and he pointed over Buffy's shoulder. "Demon!"
Buffy spun around, and was confronted with- absolutely nothing. Rolling her eyes, she turned back around to have it out with Spike, and saw that he was long gone.
The checkout guy looked terrified. "Er. Do you want his change?"
****
Buffy slammed the door to the Summers house, Spike's dollar-fifty jangling in her pocket. "I'm home," she called out, and ambled into the kitchen. Willow, Xander, and Dawn were there, looking wary. To be fair, she couldn't blame them. She had been a trifle bitchy lately. But then, with her problems, who wouldn't be? "We've got a problem, guys. We need to find a demon that likes mangoes, rice milk, granola, and tampons. I know it's a random list, but we need this fast-" She broke off, realizing that she had lost most of her audience.
Willow looked sad. "Tara loved granola and rice milk with mangoes."
Xander looked even sadder. "It's Anya's time of the month. She always made me go out and buy her tampons. Said it was a man's duty."
They looked tearfully at the ground. "I just wish I knew where she was," they said in unison.
Dawn was verrrrry quiet.
A silence fell. Then Buffy's eyes got very, very wide.
TBC
Sorry this took so long, and thank you for your responses. I wrote it several weeks ago, but haven't had a chance to post. I hope y'all dig.
Part Four:
Shopping with the Undead
Buffy was, yet again, grumpy. It was ten-thirty, and she'd already snapped at Dawn, rolled her eyes at Willow and Xander's worried, depressed faces, and staked three vampires, but nothing seemed to relieve the tension that hovered just between her shoulder blades. What she really needed was Spike.
Er. To kick Spike's ass.
But Spike was still AWOL. Dawn had mentioned something about seeing him, so she knew he hadn't disappeared for good, but her Spike-radar hadn't so much as blipped for a week. But in the absence of her favorite punching bag, she was forced to rely on an old tension-relief standby: ice cream. She stomped into the Sunnydale grocery store and was heading for the frozen foods section when a flash of black and white-blonde caught her eye. Buffy skidded to a halt, ducking behind a display of fruit roll-ups, and peered around the aisle.
It was Spike. But- what was he doing? He was in… the natural foods aisle! Scowling at the soy milk! Or maybe the rice milk. She watched, wide-eyed, as Spike frowned, shrugged, and tossed both soy and rice milk boxes into his hand cart and rounded the corner, veering left. Quiet as a cat, Buffy followed, trusting that the clash of scents and noises of the supermarket would disguise her presence.
Canned food aisle, no Spike. Paper products aisle, no Spike. Feminine products aisle- Spike?
Had the world gone mad?
Spike was standing, completely unembarrassed, in front of a display of tampons. As Buffy watched, mouth open, he calmly added an aqua-colored box of feminine hygiene products to his basket and headed for the checkout counter. Buffy barely had the presence of mind to scurry out of smelling range.
I am not going over there, Buffy told herself in the relative safety of the pet food aisle. I am not curious. I will be strong.
But her feet started moving, and before she knew it, so did her lips.
"Lactose intolerant, Spike?"
Spike's head jerked up and he froze for a split second. Then he visibly relaxed and continued unloading his basket. Buffy did a quick inventory. The rice and soy milk, the tampons, nail polish remover, some yellow legal pads, mangoes (mangoes?) and granola. "Evening, Slayer." The young man behind the counter started ringing up Spike's purchases. "And can I have a pack of those, mate?" Spike pointed to his cigarette brand of choice.
"You know, all the granola and rice milk in the world won't fix your diseased lungs," Buffy pointed out. Then she frowned. Spike didn't have diseased lungs. Why, then, the granola? Before she could stop herself, the question was out.
"Er." Spike looked vaguely uncomfortable. "It's for a friend."
"A female friend?" Buffy's eyes narrowed.
Spike spluttered with indignation. "What makes you say that?" Wordlessly, Buffy pointed to the aqua-colored box in the young man's hand. "Oh. Yeah. Hmm." He thought about it, and then seemed to make up his mind. "Yeah, this particular friend is female. Quite lovely, too. What's the matter, Slayer? Jealous?"
"Right," Buffy said, as sarcastically as she could manage. "Get over yourself, Spike. I'm just trying to figure out what kind of a demon eats tampons, rice milk, and granola. Oh, and mangoes. Are you gonna tell me, or do I need to beat it out of you?"
Spike smiled his most charming smile at the very nervous checkout guy. "Sorry. We can't always be sure that she takes her meds. What do I owe you?"
"Eighteen-fifty."
Spike fished a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to the guy. Picking up his bag, he turned back to Buffy. Then his eyes widened, and he pointed over Buffy's shoulder. "Demon!"
Buffy spun around, and was confronted with- absolutely nothing. Rolling her eyes, she turned back around to have it out with Spike, and saw that he was long gone.
The checkout guy looked terrified. "Er. Do you want his change?"
****
Buffy slammed the door to the Summers house, Spike's dollar-fifty jangling in her pocket. "I'm home," she called out, and ambled into the kitchen. Willow, Xander, and Dawn were there, looking wary. To be fair, she couldn't blame them. She had been a trifle bitchy lately. But then, with her problems, who wouldn't be? "We've got a problem, guys. We need to find a demon that likes mangoes, rice milk, granola, and tampons. I know it's a random list, but we need this fast-" She broke off, realizing that she had lost most of her audience.
Willow looked sad. "Tara loved granola and rice milk with mangoes."
Xander looked even sadder. "It's Anya's time of the month. She always made me go out and buy her tampons. Said it was a man's duty."
They looked tearfully at the ground. "I just wish I knew where she was," they said in unison.
Dawn was verrrrry quiet.
A silence fell. Then Buffy's eyes got very, very wide.
TBC