"Absolutely not. To even consider it I'd have to be insane or stupid. You'd be caught in an instant, and then do you know what would happen?"
Hermione just watched him with an expectant and infuriatingly innocent look on her face.
"Does the prospect of torture not scare you? They'd squeeze every last drop of information out of you, then leave your hollow body in the gutter for the vermin to find. Is that what you want?" His voice had grown steadily in volume until he was near shouting.
"What I want is to discuss this quietly and rationally. Trying to scare me won't work, so let's just speak like civilized people. Shall we?"
"NO!"
Sitting back, Hermione pursed her lips. "What would it take to convince you? I'm perfectly able to do anything you ask if you'd like to test--"
"I'd like you to not even consider such an idiotic, foolish, insane..." His eyes ticked back and forth, searching his mental thesaurus for the appropriately scathing adjective. "GRYFFINDOR idea!"
"Thank you, professor. I take that as a compliment. Now, when is this event that I'm supposed to avoid at all costs or you'll give me a sharp tongue-lashing? And I think all that yelling is going to split something else if you're not careful."
His face was suddenly devoid of anger. "I'm afraid, Miss Granger, I shan't tell you a thing. It will do you no good to ask me again."
Hermione watched him for a moment. "I see. Very well. Are you finished?" She gestured to the soup.
"I am."
"Shall I bring up tea?"
"Please."
Quietly, with exaggerated care, Hermione gathered the dishes and settled them on the platter. Without saying another word, she left.
Now Severus was on his guard. She had been far too accommodating there; she was certainly up to something. Obvious, but in his current condition, he had no way of being sure of anything. For five minutes he sat and contemplated what she might do, and for every possibility, he realized he had no way to counteract it.
"I wasn't sure what kind you'd like, so I brought them all," Hermione said as she brought the tea service in. She set it next to the bed. "Would you care to pour?"
"I would." There was only hot water in the pot, and the offer to pour was simply to allay his suspicions, which made him even more suspicious. Clear, steaming water filled his cup, then Hermione's. This did not help. He reached for the mint tea after he set the pot down, but paused.
It cures all ails.
Is that your professional opinion?
Personal and professional.
His hand moved from the mint to the green. "I think perhaps the green tea today." Her face betrayed nothing, and Severus hid his frustration.
"I rather liked the mint," Hermione said mildly, and reached for it.
They each prepared their tea in silence, and after he watched Hermione take a sip, Severus took one. The mint would have been better, but the green had similar healing properties; he wouldn't complain.
This continued, her sipping and watching him, and Severus reciprocating, until both their cups were empty.
"More?" she offered.
"Please."
The process was repeated, but when Hermione's cup was half-consumed, she set it aside. "Now," she began, "I think we should talk."
This had been coming. Nothing to be surprised about.
"I know you don't want me to do this. Are you really so concerned about me?"
"Yes." He blinked. "Damn you! I knew this would happen!" Veritaserum, but how? Severus' eyes locked on the pot. "You put it in the water?"
"Yes."
He couldn't help but laugh at the situation. "This is perfect then, Hermione. I suppose we're going to be exchanging some information now, since we've both had it. Tell me why you're so determined to do this."
Hermione didn't seemed concerned in the least with the turn of events. She began speaking smoothly, none of the breathless, stilted qualities of the unwilling. "Because it's important, it needs to be done. I don't want the Ministry to do anything to you because you can't do what they want."
"How sweet."
"I think so. Now tell me what you're supposed to be spying on."
The struggle not to speak of it was obvious, but in the end, the words tumbled from his lips. "A gathering of Death Eaters, business and pleasure, it might be called. Voldemort won't be there. They'll be discussing future raids, and after they've all had too much to drink, talk far too much for their own good."
Tapping her chin thoughtfully with her right index finger, Hermione nodded. "And you're supposed to go and collect information about these raids?"
"Yes."
"Where will it be?"
Again the struggle, but it was no use. This was not the child's version he had kept at Hogwarts; this was full strength, and it would probably have him spilling secrets for the next week in his battered condition. "I don't know. I suspect it will be at Malfoy's. If not, I have to follow him from there."
Hermione wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Malfoy. How could you stand that man?"
"I couldn't. He is moderately intelligent, but too arrogant and pompous to ever do anything useful other than throw money at things. His knowledge of curses is only slightly better than a retarded pigeon's." That confession brought out a smile; he had never thought to put those particular feelings into words.
Laughing, Hermione waved her hand. "Go ahead, ask me something."
"Why did you kiss me at the Ministry?"
"Because I wanted to."
Severus sighed. "Fine. Why did you want to kiss me then?"
"Lots of reasons. Nerves, mostly. I wasn't thinking completely clearly, and you were so close I just did it."
"But you wanted to."
"Yes."
"This is tiresome. Are you sure you're under the effects of the Veritaserum?"
"Quite." Hermione then smiled pleasantly at him.
"Do you want to kiss me now?"
"I certainly wouldn't mind."
"Do you know how infuriating you are?"
"Yes. It's quite clear from the look on your face."
"Then come here."
"This is a truth potion, not the Imperius. I answer your questions, not obey your commands."
"I doubt you'd obey them if you were under the Imperius curse. Now come here; I'm too hurt to ravish you." He took hold of her arm and dragged her forward. Hermione resisted very little.
"Are you feeling better?" Hermione asked, running her hand lightly across his chest.
"Yes. Damn it. This potion isn't going to wear off any time soon."
"All the better for me. Now, when is this meeting going to take place?"
"In four days. Sundown." Severus sighed. "There's only one way to keep you from asking me questions."
Hermione covered his mouth with her hand. "And you've distracted me enough with that. You really won't teach me?"
He removed her hand from his mouth and held it gingerly. "I don't want to, but I have to now. If I don't, you'll just go to that meeting completely unprepared and get hurt. Probably die."
"Then we should get started."
Four days. Hermione knew that she would be getting very little sleep in that time. She would need every scrap of knowledge, every spell that would give her that fighting edge, and she would need her nerves to be finely tuned. And The Cloak. She would have to learn to enjoy its touch.
"The cloak is your greatest ally. It is your only ally." Severus leaned back and shook his head while staring at the ceiling. "If I could teach you to be an animagus, I would. Knowing you, you'd probably turn into something huge and showy though."
"You mean you...?"
"Oh yes, I forgot that when I told you, you weren't listening. I am, but as it has nothing to do with the situation at hand, we should save it for another time." His eyes fixed on her as he tilted his head forward again. "I can teach you to use it, but you'll have to... tame it."
"Tame it? Then it is sentient." That was an eerie thought, and she was supposed to wrap it around her?
"Not strictly speaking. It's too difficult to explain right now. Go get it."
The look on his face wasn't terribly encouraging, and Hermione felt a tremor of fear run through her. This wasn't a game, and if the person supposed to teach her what she needed to survive didn't have confidence, then how was she supposed to feel?
This was only the first day though. Four days wasn't a lot, but she knew she could learn a lot in that short amount of time. Enough to keep her alive; enough to keep her out of Lucius Malfoy's hands.
Her hand caressed the cloak, and goosebumps ran across her arms. Before she hadn't noticed it, but now she couldn't help it. Power of the most basic form, raw, elemental... It was frightening in that sense as well. How a person, even a powerful wizard, could have ever tamed this she didn't know, and she definitely wasn't sure she'd be able to.
Carrying it in her arms, up the stairs, Hermione noted the vibrations were less frantic, urgent than before. They had dulled themselves to be more of a... purr. The thing really was alive; Hermione could almost feel it move in her arms.
"I'm not sure about this, Severus," she said as she re-entered the bedroom. "It feels..." The thing slithered out of her arms and landed on the bed in a pile.
"Having second thoughts?"
"Yes, but I'll... just have to deal with it." Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Hermione ran her hand over the fabric again. It wasn't natural. Not at all. Suddenly, with hollow, haunted eyes, she looked at him. "How am I going to do this?" His reaction was one she hadn't been expecting; she had forgotten about the Veritaserum.
His jaw clenched, but the words ground out anyway. "You will because you feel you have to. And once you commit to something out of sense of duty, you can't go back. Ever. You will do it through sheer tenacity."
Hermione noticed his eyes more than anything. They shone with a fierce sort of pride. Duty. He knew what he spoke of. She nodded. "I will, of course. There's simply nothing else to do about it."
His response was a silent nod, and they remained there in silence for a good minute.
"Would you..." she began, and looked down at her hands. "Would you think I was being horribly childish if I said I was afraid?"
"No." Strong and steady, still under the Veritaserum.
"Good, because I am. I still don't know how you do it. Sheer nerve, I suppose." Hermione grasped her hands tightly and looked at Severus. "All right. I'm ready."
Apparently he had been waiting for this because he spoke immediately. "You must trust it, Hermione. You don't have to like it, but you have to trust that it has the power to hide you. This is no Armageddon cloak; it won't protect you. It is... hmm." He looked out the window. "That's a demonstration to save until later. At night, and only at night, will it work. You must remember this."
Hermione nodded, and her hand rested on the cloak at her side. "Only at night." A broken laugh escaped. "It makes sense, doesn't it?"
"Yes." Severus frowned and rolled his eyes. "Get used to it first. Put it on. You'll find that once you've become accustomed to the feeling, it is far easier to use."
"All right." Hermione's voice quavered, but she stood and wrapped the cloak around her shoulders. She bit down on her lower lip so hard at the initial sensation, she tasted the coppery blood. This was worse than before, so much more intense. "I feel sick," she murmured, and put on hand on the bed to steady herself.
"Relax. Don't fight it. You can feel it, and that's what you need to take hold of, control it."
His voice reached Hermione from very far away as she dedicated most of her awareness to cloak and what it was doing to her. A giant magical fist had her in its grasp and held her. Not tight enough to cause pain, but firm, unyielding. It had her. Her mouth opened to say something, but instead she took a great breath of air. "Heavy..."
"Breathe deeply, regularly. Relax, Hermione."
A great weight was on her chest, making it difficult to draw in air, but she tried to do as he instructed, and it did help a little. Concentrate. Breathe. Concentrate on the breathing. Don't concentrate on the fist, don't think about Voldemort or the Death Eaters. Breathing. In. Breathing. Out. Relax, and don't fight it. Go with the current; don't swim against it.
That restored some of the strength in her wobbling legs, and she opened her eyes to find herself face-first in the quilt on the bed. Pushing herself upright wasn't as difficult as she thought it might be as bodily control was slowly returning. Yes, her hands trembled almost violently, but she had good motor control over her arms, and her legs were growing steadier by the second. "I think I hurt myself," Hermione said, her voice quavering as her legs had been.
Severus chuckled. "Welcome to the club. Sit down before you collapse to the floor."
Turning around, her hands resting on the bed so the tremors didn't show, Hermione lowered herself gingerly on the edge of the bed. It felt like her entire body was thrumming, most notably in her feet and hands. "I feel like... I'm not sure, but I'm not sure if I like it or hate it."
"You will get used to it. You'll learn to like it."
Hermione shivered and hugged herself. "I know," she whispered, because she had heard in his voice that it was something unavoidable.
"You should wear it as much as possible in the time left."
She grimaced.
"Have faith in yourself. It will grow tolerable and then even enjoyable."
"I don't think I want it to."
"Of course not. And you don't want to be here, but you are. You don't want to do this, but you will. You didn't want to like me--"
"And I still don't." Hermione glared at him, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Maybe it's time to see if that Veritaserum has worn off yet. When you were in school, who did you fancy?"
Lip curling and nostrils flaring in indignation, Severus mumbled through clenched teeth, "None of--Samantha--your damned busi--Harcortt--ness. Damn it."
Hermione grinned. "A Slytherin? What year was she in? Did you ever tell her?"
He was positively snarling at her now. "Hufflepuff. Year younger. And she would have run in fear if I ever attempted to speak to her, been horrified to know I actually was interested in her."
The humor had abruptly been bled from the question, and Hermione felt distinctly uncomfortable. "Sorry," she mumbled, and looked at the wall, away from his angry gaze.
A heavy sigh. "I suppose it's not your fault. I knew that when I was in school, and I still remember it. Hermione, look at me."
She did so, and was surprised to see he didn't appear angry at all.
Severus shrugged. "A painful fact of life. I'm used to them. Go ahead, ask me how many girls I asked out when I was in school."
"How--"
"None. Why bother when you know what the answer will be... assuming they stay in one spot long enough to even give an answer. If you think my interest in you seems a bit... unnatural, then perhaps it is. I'm not proud of being a social outcast, but I won't make excuses either."
Nibbling on her lower lip, Hermione considered his words. In the end, it boiled down to him being open and honest with her, which she thought amazing. Not completely open, but more than she had known him to be. "Severus, how do you feel about me?" she asked slowly, looking straight into his dark eyes.
They flashed, and panic shone in them for an instant. "I am... stupidly attracted to you. It is dangerous for you and myself, but I can't help it. I can't help that because you responded to my advances, it's too difficult to just stop now." His eyes were half-lidded, heavy. "I can't help that I don't remember the last time anyone actually wanted my company."
"No, Severus, don't."
"You asked, and I had to tell you the truth. I hate this. I hate being an invalid and having to tell the truth about everything, and I hate not being able to do the only thing I'm useful for." He passed one hand through his lank hair. "And I really hate that because I can't do my job, you're in danger now. It's not proper."
Hermione sat up straight and tossed her hair back; she looked at him defiantly. "Because I'm a woman?"
"No. Because you deserve better than to do the filthy work I do. You are more important than I am. I hate Veritaserum, do you know that?"
"I know; I'm sorry." She lay her hand over Severus' and finally felt something of the cloak's powers in her touch. That raw power that had been so uncomfortable and intimidating at first was now channeled through her body and filtered through her emotions. A healing touch, a soothing caress.
"You're doing it," Severus breathed, and relaxed into the pillows. "I could never do anything like it; I could never care about anyone like this." He turned his hand over and held her own. "Do you see now why I needed you?"
"Not really, but I'm willing to accept that you... think you do."
"Think... Ah yes, when I no longer need you to babysit me, then I won't need you, correct? No answer? Your dose of Veritaserum has worn off already then. How fortunate." Slowly he drew his hand from Hermione's. "Go on then. Do whatever it is you normally do during the day. We can end our... association now."
Hermione watched him, but he was not going to withdraw his statement. As before, he did not appear angry, but more haggard, withdrawn, even sad. "I didn't--"
"Go! I don't need you here to watch me suffer. I am quite adept on doing it alone." Beyond those words, he would not acknowledge her, or even look at her. His eyes stared resolutely on the clock as the hands moved slowly.
Standing, Hermione looked down on him. "I could help you, if you'd let me. You said so." When she went unanswered though, he remained watching the clock stonily, she sighed and left the room. She had learned a little, and apparently would have to learnt he rest on her own. Why had she insisted on playing that stupid game? Forcing him to tell her those things for her own amusement... Too comfortable, in just these few days with him, and now look.
Hermione's feet took her automatically to the library, and before she had even stepped through the doorway, the book was flying into her hand. Then as she sat down in the nearest chair, it was opening and turning to just the page she wanted. Long into the night, Hermione sat and studied the book.
Her appetite soared, and Hermione considered it had something to do with the cloak. It certainly made sense, but she was not going to ask Severus about it. In fact, Hermione was debating whether she should bother to get him any breakfast. If he was so determined to end their association as he called it, then perhaps he could get his own food.
This isn't fair. You teased him, made him talk about things he didn't want to, and now you're mad because it disturbs you to consider he might have feelings for you? Hermione Granger, now it's your turn to grow up.
Her inner voice was the most sensible she had heard in days, and she hated it. It didn't disturb her to think he had feelings for her; it disturbed her that he was fixated on her. After all he had called them unnatural, and that--
And what has he done that's so terrible, so unnatural then? You tell him how much you hate it when he seduces you, and yet you actually encourage it. You appear more angry at your own feelings than at his.
Hermione suddenly turned on her heel and hurled the glass in her hand at the wall. It shattered, but it did not help her feelings in the least. Glaring at the pieces, she waved her wand and caused them to reform as a glass. It floated in the air for a moment before Hermione jerked her hand to the left, and the glass flew through the air and smashed against another wall.
She did that four more times.
"I blame myself. It would be stupid to blame you; you're only a cat."
Crookshanks mewed sadly from his place at Severus' side.
"I shouldn't have... have let her... I should drag myself up and do something about this. She's being a terror." Severus' hand fell briefly to the cat's head, then drew back the covers. Hermione hadn't shown her face in his room for two days.
Her movements around the house had been very clear, usually punctuated with the sounds of cursing or things breaking, but she hadn't brought anything to eat or drink, even to just poke her head into the room to call him names. Crookshanks was worried, which worried him even more than he already was. So he gingerly pulled on his robe, feeling sore, and hurt, and weak, and tied it shut. One bit of good news, that: his stomach was no longer ridiculously swollen, though it still showed the effects of the spell Dumbledore had used in large patches of red, blotchy irritation. Only he would end up having an allergic reaction.
"Hermione?" he croaked, then cleared his throat. "Hermione?" he repeated, with more strength, out into the hall. "I need to talk, Hermione."
From downstairs, she responded. "Our association has been ended, Severus. Did you forget?"
The tone of her voice raised warning flags immediately. And he was still under the waning effects of the Veritaserum. "I don't care; I need to talk to you."
"If you can bring yourself to stoop so low then, how can I refuse?"
He could hear the sardonic smile in her words, and shivered as a reply came easily from his mouth. "Easily." A mental curse. He had to get a grip on it; he could resist as long as he was careful. "Crookshanks," Severus said quietly, and waited for the cat to leap from the bed and stand by his leg. With what little support he could muster in the cat, he headed down the stairs, his eyes taking in everything.
Outwardly, his house was the same, but there was a darker undercurrent to it than before. Before... before two days ago. "Hermione, I shouldn't have stopped," Severus continued, panic blooming in him. "There are still things you need to know about--"
"I know all I need to." As if from thin air, she appeared at the bottom of the stairs, smiling at him. It was a smile of a shark.
"Hermione, the cloak--"
"Shut up, Severus. If you cared, you wouldn't have been such a selfish prick just because I didn't want to be your little fuck-toy."
He opened his mouth to say something harsh, then shut it quickly. That wouldn't work; this was dangerous ground he was treading on now. "You're right. It's my fault. I'm sorry. Now can I speak to you about the cloak? I think you'd find it rather fascinating." It had been hard to miss the book clutched in her left hand, wand in her right. "Plans must be made for the upcoming gathering as well, don't you think?"
Hermione's smile faded, and she looked simply intent now. "Yes, you're quite right. That's... tomorrow, right?"
Descending the last few stairs as quickly as he could manage, Severus took Hermione's arm gently. "Yes, tomorrow. Let's sit in the kitchen. I'm feeling a bit peckish." Starved and nearing delusional actually, but for this exchange, he would need to be as lucid and rational as ever.
"Why thank you, Severus." Together they walked slowly to the kitchen. "You're looking a bit pale; would you like me to make you a sandwich?" Hermione offered, polite as any maiden.
"I would consider it a gift from heaven, Hermione."
She beamed at him, and then went about the task at hand. "This cloak is really amazing," she chattered idly. "I can see how you would find it so useful. I tried it the other night and couldn't believe it. They never saw me! I mean, they did magical sweeps and everything, and I just stood there." She chuckled, and it was the only indication that there was anything wrong. It was dark and wholly unpleasant sounding. "I could have hit them both with whatever hex or curse I wanted, even an Unforgivable, and they wouldn't have seen it coming."
"So... you think you're up to the task?" There was no doubt she would say yes; Severus imagined she would agree to try to fly into the sun right then.
"Certainly!" Hermione said brightly, and set a thick and agreeably mouth-watering sandwich in front of him. "I can't see that it would be any problem while I have this cloak." She spun around and allowed the cloak to flair dramatically.
With a wan smile, Severus began to eat his sandwich.
After he had finished, unfortunately, Hermione wouldn't listen to anything he had to say. She would not hear any further instructions regarding the cloak, the Death Eaters, Malfoy manor, personal safety, or anything at all.
"Please listen, Hermione. They--"
"Won't even know I'm there, Severus." Hermione smiled, but it was that shark-like expression once more. "Don't you worry about it."
"It's not the mission I'm worried about."
To his surprise, Hermione leaned down and kissed him. It was quick, but firmly on the lips. "You worry too much. And you should be in bed." She took his arm in a grip slightly gentler than iron and led him to the stairs and up.
"Hermione," he dared as they entered the bedroom, "I never wanted you to be a... fuck-toy." It worried him further when she laughed.
"I know that. The stress is getting to you. Let me worry about this, and you just rest." Her hands fell immediately to the belt of his robe and untied it. "Can't wear this to bed though." She parted the garment and looked at his stomach. "This looks much better. How is it feeling?"
He hissed when she ran her hand across it and over his ribs. "Not good. I walk slowly for a reason."
Hermione nodded, almost thoughtfully, and suddenly dropped to her knees in front of him.
"What the hell are--stop that!" Flailing desperately at his robe, Severus back-pedaled and covered himself. "This is no time to be... to be doing that sort of thing!" Ignoring her protests, he got into bed, still wearing the robe, and pulled the covers up. "For Merlin's sake, Hermione."
"I was just going to give you a--"
"The sandwich was enough! Thank you. I think, yes, I just need to rest now."
"You're sure?"
"No." He frowned.
Hermione was delighted though. "Oh, you're still under Veritaserum! Let's play a game!"
"Hermione, this is not the time!" She would anyway, but at least with this warning he would be able to steel himself to her questions.
"We have plenty of time, don't we, Severus?" Hermione smiled slyly and sat on the edge of the bed.
The game had begun.
Turning his eyes to the clock, Severus took a deep breath. "No, we don't. You must--"
"So my first question is..." She put on a big show of thinking it over. "Have you ever had sex in this cloak?"
He did not need to wait for the Veritaserum to catch up to him. "No. Now stop with the foolish questions. This is not the time to be playing games!" he snapped, trying to intimidate her into reason.
"A pity. I bet it's really erotic, don't you think?" Her hands ran down the glossy lining, and with a satisfied smile on her lips, Hermione shivered.
Too slow this time, too distracted by the movement of her hands. "Yes. Hermione! Miss Granger! I will not listen to you further. This conversation is at an end, and I want you to leave this room."
Hermione pouted, and Severus knew he was in trouble. "Do you really?"
"No. I want nothing more than for you to stay here with me and forget this task you think you have to do, but I know you'll go anyway and I am powerless to stop you." He took her hand and looked away from the clock to her face. "Be careful, Hermione. Be very, very careful."
"If you weren't such a grand arse, I'd say you were sweet." She leaned forward and kissed him very softly. "I'll be careful just because you want me to."
When the sun finally dropped below the tall trees that lined the street, Hermione left a bowl of soup and a plate of sandwiches next to Severus' bed. "I'll be back later," she said resolutely, and nodded.
"I know you will."
TBC