Author's Notes at bottom - Enjoy!
__________________________
Flee to Destiny
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG
@------
Chapter Four - One dance too many
@------
Rei sat down in the chair recently vacated by Mamoru. I stared blankly
at the door, a deep feeling of wrong doing in my heart. There was something
else, something Mamoru wanted me to remember. But I couldn't grasp it. Feeling
lower than pond scum, I looked at Rei.
"What was that about?" she asked.
I shrugged, trying to act nonchantly, and looked at my hands. "Your
guess is as good as mine."
"Mamoru-san was here all day, in that chair, watching you," Ami said,
also sitting down. "He said he wanted to make sure you were alright..."
Rei smiled wickedly and leaned towards me. "Sounds like someone is in
love..." she drawled out, winking at me. "How did you capture Mamoru's heart
so quickly? No one else has ever been able to."
"Me?" I asked, blinking. "I didn't do anything but give him old coffee,
put sugar in the old coffee and give it back to him, and then faint."
Rei's face dropped as she looked at Ami, who was typing madly on her
computer. "Eh.. Ami-chan, are you taking notes?"
The petite Senshi of Ice blushed furiously and shook her head. "No, I'm
scanning Usagi to be sure she is alright. Fainting like she did earlier might
be more than just exhaustion."
Worriedly I chewed on my bottom lip. Ami worked for a few moments longer
and then shut her computer, not looking any better for it. "Everything seems
okay now," she said slowly, still looking worried.
I stood up in a very unsure fashion, wondering if I would fall flat on my
face. Luckily, I didn't. Even though I felt stiff, I didn't have the feeling of
tiredness in my bones as I had recently felt. It was as if I were a whole new
person. Smiling, I went downstairs to apologize to Motoki and to find Shingo.
The arcade downstairs was packed. Teenagers, adults and children ran
everywhere. Some playing games, others eating or just talking. The lights
outside made it seem like a whole other world existed inside. A small piece
of the hustle and bustle of everyday life was captured inside the large arcade.
It took me a moment to find Motoki, but finally I spotted him towards the Sailor
V game.
"Look who's decided to join the world of the living!" Motoki exclaimed
as I tapped him on the shoulder. He laughed and turned to fully face me. Minako
sat at the Sailor V game, her tongue stuck out the side of her mouth in concentration.
"Are you feeling any better now?"
"Un," I answered, unable to stop the smile on my face. "I'm so sorry about
everything.." I didn't finish my sentence before Motoki shook both his hands and
hushed me.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure to work you extra hard to make up for it," he
said, winking. Quickly he bent down to plant a kiss on Minako's cheek. "Be back
in a sec."
Minako nodded her head yes, never taking her eyes from the screen. Makoto
walked up behind the Senshi of Love as her game ended abruptly. "Damn," Minako
mumbled, hitting her fist on the machine. "And I was further than I had ever
gotten."
"Don't worry Minako-chan, you can't play that game every day and not win
it eventually," Makoto laughed. Minako turned and glared at the tall woman, but
Makoto ignored her and looked at me. "Usagi-chan, our cooking class is throwing
a masquerade ball tonight to raise funds for the competition we want to go to in
the fall. Do you want to go?"
I looked around, almost looking for an excuse laying around. I didn't
really want to go. But I felt bad telling her no when she was nice enough to
let Shingo and I live with her. My eyes must have expressed my thoughts for me,
though. Makoto made a puppy dog face. "Onegai?" she asked sweetly.
I sighed, but then my excuse ran up to me. Shingo held his arms up for me
to pick him up. "You are getting a little big for this," I said to him softly,
wrapping my arms around him and hugging him. Smiling, he laid his head on my
shoulder. "I don't have anyone to watch Shingo.."
"We'll watch him!" Minako immediately replied, jumping up from her seat.
"You need to go out. Rei-chan and Ami-chan will help me. You won't be a problem
for us, will you Shingo-chan?" Minako asked the child in my arms, who, to my horror,
nodded his head no.
"Please Usagi-chan?" Makoto added. There was a conspiracy here, and I knew
it. Between looking at the two of them, I almost gave up.
"I don't have anything to wear," I pointed out. There! Come up with a solution
now!
"Don't worry!" Minako exclaimed. "We are the same size, you can wear one of
my dresses!"
That excuse just went down the drain doing ninety. Sighing my defeat, I
nodded my head. It would be a long night indeed.
@------
Over the rim of the punch glass in my hand, I looked around the room. It was
extremely crowded, which made it a little warmer than I would have liked. Downing
the remains of the drink, I set the glass next to the others I had drank. Surely
I was going to float away if this kept up.
I felt slightly uncomfortable in Minako's dress. Though even I had to admit
it was beautiful. The creamy white material hugged my figure down to my waist where
it flowed out in delicate waves to my feet. Every time I moved, the dress rustled
around me. The top fit snuggly against my stomach and chest that ended in loose
straps that laid off my shoulders. My hair was pulled up on the sides that allowed
cascades of golden curls to lay down my back.
Long ago I had disgarded the mask I was handed as I came in. Though it added
to the mystery of the ball, I had grown tired of the straps against the side of my
face. A handful of men had asked me to dance, but I had declined time and time again.
I didn't feel like dancing, truth be known I didn't even want to be here. Makoto had
found me once in a while, asking if I was enjoying myself. Of course I answered yes
and smiled. Only I knew how bad I wanted to be home enjoying a good book.
I called home twice already, and the evening was only two hours old. Minako
assured me that Shingo was fine, and made sure to ask if I was enjoying myself.
Why did everyone have to ask that, anyways? It was as if their mission in life was
to see that I had a good time tonight. Perhaps they knew something I didn't.
Then again, I've probably been standing here too long thinking about it.
That decided, I headed for the refreshment table again. If I was going to float
out the door any second now - surely another drink wouldn't hurt a thing.
I reached my hand out for my sixth glass of punch - or was it my seventh?
Anyways, I reached for another glass of punch when another hand grabbed it up.
Another hand? I thought. Now that didn't make sense. I only had two hands, and
neither of my hands had the glass. I look again. Nope, I wasn't holding it. So
who was? That thought seemed to take a little longer to process than it normally
should have. Though don't ask me how I knew that.
Accusingly I stared at the interfering hand until suddenly I relied that
it was attached to an arm. And upon further inspection, it was also attached to
a body! The nerve of this person. It was obvious I was reaching for that glass.
I looked up at the man. He seemed to be ten feet tall from my angle. Looking
up at him seem to make the blood rush to my head and the overly warm room suddenly
took a turn towards sweltering hot.
"You okay, Usa?" a deep voice asked. It didn't seem to be coming from the
person in front of me. But more like all around me. Oh no, I'm going to faint
again. I could see it coming a mile away. But I guess the thought must have taken
a wrong turn and got lost, because I didn't faint. Though I did stagger forwards.
The hand, arm and body in front of me, that seemed to be the origin of
the voice as well, grabbed a hold of me. "Come on Usa, I think you had a little
too much to drink." Gently he held me up and wrapped one arm around me to guide
me forwards. The floor seemed to grow, rushing up at my face and causing my
vision to blur. Then the room seemed to be shrinking. Silently I wished it would
make up it's mind.
A few moments, staggering and nervous laughs from the ten foot tall man
holding me up later - I found myself outside. The night air had a chill to it
and immediately I burrowed into the warms fold of the man's jacket. He stood
stark still for a long moment. It was like wrapping my arms around a nice big,
warm...statue. But don't think that fault discouraged me any. I didn't care if
he ever moved, so long as I got rid of the chill bumps on my bare arms and back.
After a couple of minutes, his arms came around me and a leaned my head
against his chest. The gentle thump of his heart filled my mind and eased the
aching that was beginning there. The world around us could have blown up or
burned to the ground, and I would have never known the difference. As long as
I was standing where I stood now - everything seemed right in the world.
Why did these arms seem so familiar? Why did the way his breath move my
bangs seem so right? I could have blocked the rest of my life out if I could
stay in the position I found myself in now.
"Usa.." he breathed. Strange how beautiful that name sounded from his lips.
The way his deep voice vibrated through his chest felt so wonderful against my face.
I looked up at the tall man holding me. We seem to fit perfectly together,
like our bodies were molded to be able to hold each other. He wore a mask, but
even in my slightly drunk state - I knew who it was. Two different men trapped
in one body. But there was something else about the way he gazed at me through
that domino mask. Something more familiar than Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen.
Something... that stayed slightly beyond my grasping finger tips.
His intense blue eyes stared into mine and achingly slow he began to move
towards me. In the back of my mind I knew what was about to happen. My heart
seemed to speed up, anticipating the feel of his lips on mine. Small jolts of
what felt like electricity ran from the tips of my toes to my eager lips. As
his lips neared mine, my eyes fluttered close - wanting to saver this moment
forever in my mind.
"Set me free..."
It was subtle. So faint that at first I thought it nothing more than a
memory. But then the voice rose as it repeated over and over. "Set me free..."
the pitiful words echoed in my mind. "..the man we died for...the life we
loved..." I tried to block it out, but just as Mamoru's lips were mere centimeters
from my own - I pulled back.
A small sound of disappointment left Mamoru's mouth. I wanted to scream
at myself for what I had just done. But what... what if there was someone else?
What if I was meant to be with another man that was also reborn, waiting for
only me? I couldn't get myself involved with Mamoru now and risk hurting not
only him, but another man, in the long run. It wasn't fair to either them, or
myself.
"G-Gomen," I squeaked, embarrassed.
Mamoru stepped back from me and ran his long fingers through his hair.
"No, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't know what came over me."
I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched Mamoru try to collect himself. Was
I pushing happiness away with both hands? Or was I being realistic? The answer
seemed as close - yet as far away - as the vision of the girl in my dreams. I
wanted so badly to enjoy the moment at hand. But too many 'what ifs' clouded my
mind to truly put my heart into anything.
I looked inside the glass doors at the people dancing around the room.
I want to enjoy myself tonight, I decided. And pushing the sad voice of the girl
as far back into my mind as I could, I grasped Mamoru's hand. "Dance with me,"
I said quietly, looking dead into his blue eyes.
He seemed startled by my request. A moment ago I could have been kissing
him, and then I pulled away. And yet now, I was asking him to dance. I'm not sure
what was going through his mind, but I'm almost positive it was bordering on pure
confusion. Finally a somewhat boyish grin broke out on his face and he bowed as
he had earlier at the arcade. "May I have the honor of this day, milady?"
I laughed at the picture he made. It seemed to be out of an old movie that
I had watched hundreds of times. The moonlight beamed down on us giving the air
a romantic quality. And here I stood in front of the most handsome man I had ever
laid my eyes on, bowing to ask for a dance. Smiling from ear to ear, I placed my
hand in his out stretched one and he lead me inside.
He held me close to his body, delicately but firmly. I felt like a diamond
that was to be cherished for him alone as we glided across the floor. We circled
the large ball room numerous times as we kept in beat with the music. Dance after
dance, song after song. I lost all track of time in his arms. He said not a word,
only smiled when his eyes meet mine.
The crowd thinned out as the evening wore on, but I didn't take much notice.
A deep feeling of peace covered me like a blanket. I felt warm and protected in his
arms. I closed my eyes and leaned against his strong chest, allowing him to guide me.
The music invaded my mind, blocking out every other thought but of him. There was
only one word that could describe this - perfect.
Many songs past, though I wasn't keeping count. We moved together for an
eternity it seemed. Years seemed to be mere seconds, and I found myself falling.
Falling back into time, another time. Another life. I was dancing like this, never
feeling time as it moved by. I was in the arms of my prince again, safe and secure
in the world in which I would someday rule.
People were conversing around us, but it seemed like part of the music. The
magic of the evening was blending together. Words spilled out of my mouth before I
knew what I was saying.
"I wish we could stay like this, Endymion... forever..."
"What did you say?" The world around me suddenly came crashing down. I was
brought back to reality quickly, blinking back the dream world in my mind. Trying
to clear the voices in my mind and focus on Mamoru, I began to feel dizzy.
"Usa," Mamoru said, his voice firmer this time. He placed his hand under my
chin and brought my face to to look at him. "What did you say?" he repeated.
"I.." What did I say? Whose name was on my lips? The memory, as close as it
had been seconds ago - was gone again. Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes as
I stared at Mamoru. "I.. I don't know." Part of my mind was nothing but a mist, a
dense fog that prevented me from seeing everything as a whole. Small images appeared
before me, just to disappear again. I felt a scream rising in my throat.
Mamoru dropped his arms from my waist. The lack of strength hit me hard,
causing me to step forward to regain my balance. I looked up at him, almost
pleading with him to help me, to clear away the spider webs and holes in my memory.
When I meet his blue eyes again they were full of disappointment. Sighing, I
stepped back. "I'm sorry Mamoru-san." He seemed to flinch at my words. "I.. I
won't let this happen again."
Quickly I ran from the room, from the memories - but mostly from the deep
sadness that called Mamoru's eyes it's home.
Why did I feel so responsible for putting it there?
@------
When finally I was at home again, I fell onto my bed, searching my mind
for answers. There was an aching in my heart, a yearning to be in Mamoru's arms
again. I wanted to smile at the memory, and cry at the same time. My heart sped
up as I remembered his deep blue eyes staring so intently into my own. I felt
like I was now missing more than I was before tonight. Instead of memories being
gone, my heart and soul seemed to still be with Mamoru. Tears filled my eyes,
leaving salty trails of sorrow evident on my face.
In the back of my deep thoughts, I heard someone knocking softly on my
door. So lost in my self pity, I ignored it. After a few moments, the door
creaked slowly open and Makoto slid through the opening. With great pains, she
shut the door as quietly as she had opened it. "Usagi-chan?"
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and sat up. The dress that I
still wore rustled around me when I moved. Instead of answering, I stared out
my windows at the full moon that had seen it all tonight. Silent and beautiful
in the night sky, it saw and knew all. I wish I did.
Makoto came over and sat next to me, wrapping one arm around my shoulder
and sighing deeply. "What's wrong, Usagi-chan? What can I do?"
I leaned into her sisterly embrace and allowed a few more tears to escape
my red, swollen eyes. "Mako-chan, do you remember… before?"
The unspoken words were as good as said aloud. Instantly she knew what
I meant without asking. The tall senshi nodded her head, also staring at the
moon. "I remember some, but not all. Some faces are still fuzzy, some things
nothing but fleeting images. I know that when I was four my mother and father
sent me to begin senshi training. The first born of all the planets were those
who would be guardians for the Moon Princess. I can remember my father standing
so proudly as he handed me my henshin wand. Sometimes the memories of our past
life seem like a dream, something I imagined as I slept. And others are so clear
that it was like it happened only minutes ago."
I nodded my head, sitting up once more and wiping away my tears with the
back of my hand. "I know what you mean. Sometimes I can sit and remember things
with such clarity and others are so hazy. I wish I could remember all."
"You will," another voice said. Luna jumped up on the side of the bed
and laid down next to us. "I know you want to remember now, but you have to
have patience. If you were to remember all at once, there is no telling what
kind of psychological damage might accompany it. You had good times on the Moon,
but there was just as many bad ones."
That was my heart's fear spoke aloud. I wanted to remember my mother,
my past life - but not the heartache that came with that knowledge. With every
thing that had happened in the last couple of weeks, it could be my demise to
remember everything. Then again, I had my reasons for wanting to know. Especially
know more about the man in my dreams.
Ami and Rei pushed open my bedroom door after a short knock. The priestess
looked rather upset about something as she pushed her hair back. "Eh, Mako-chan,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news..."
"Demo?" Makoto asked, turning around to face her.
"Minako-chan is trying to cook..." The sentence wasn't finished before
Makoto ran out of the room, Rei trailing behind her laughing. I smiled as I
watched them go. There was never a dull moment around here, was there?
Luna walked out of the room and I stood to follow when Ami shut the
door. Without saying a word, she pulled out her computer. "Usagi-chan, if
you don't mind I would like to scan you again. There was something that came
up in my earlier scan that I didn't quiet understand. Do you mind?"
I didn't understand exactly what Ami meant, but I nodded my head anyways.
The genius senshi began concentrating on her computer and for the longest time
didn't say a word or change facial expression. I began to grow worried as the
minutes ticked by. But since I didn't want to interrupt whatever it was she was
doing, I kept my mouth shut. Finally, what seemed an eternity later, she stopped
and shut her computer. Shaking her head, she rubbed her hands over her face.
"What?" I anxiously asked.
Ami shifted her weight from one foot to the next and scratched her head.
"I'm not sure, something else is showing up on my screen and I can't figure
out what it is." She looked up, and must have seen the worry on my face. All
the tension broke from her face and she smiled. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad.
Perhaps it's just a flaw in the computer." Almost every ounce of apprehension
gone, she opened the door. "Come on, let's go see what Minako is destroying."
Hesitantly I remained behind, wondering what could have Ami so upset.
And even more, why she wouldn't tell me. Instead of dwelling on it, however,
I changed out of the dress and into some pajamas. From the laughs and groans
coming from the kitchen I imagined Minako was causing quite a ruckus that I
most definitely didn't want to miss.
@------
That night my deep sleep was ended abruptly. I suddenly had fleeting
thoughts about knowing how YooHoo© felt as they were being shaken. Sleep
pulled hard to keep me under it's wing, but the person trying to wake me
seemed to be determined.
"Usagi... c'mon, you got to wake up!" Rei practically screamed.
I rose up, hitting my head on Rei's as I did so. Of course, after I had
pushed aside the urge to burrow back into the covers, I realized that it wasn't
Rei who had woken me, but Sailor Mars. And it most definitely wasn't day break.
"What's going on?" I asked, rubbing my burning eyes and trying to focus
them. Mars looked relived to have finally got my attention.
"There is a youma attack, we got to go," she said urgently. "The outer
senshi and Tuxedo Kamen are already there."
Without so much as a glancing thought towards my warm bed again - okay,
so deep in my mind I was cursing the enemy - I jumped up. The clock beside my
bed flashed ten minutes after one. I hadn't even been asleep long enough to
say I was. Oooh, whatever just had to attack in the middle of the night was
going to get it good.
"Moon Crystal Power - Make UP!"
When the now familar lights went down and left me standing in my fuku,
Mars headed out the door. With one last yawn, I rushed out the door behind
her and into the chilly night.
The city streets were abandoned, save for an occasional car that passed.
The moon that had brightly lit up the sky earlier was now covered by clouds that
also blocked out the stars. A chill ran up my shine, sending shivers down my arms
and legs as we ran through the empty city streets. Mars looked back occasionally,
and seeing I was still behind her, she continued on towards the main square.
We turned a corner and I felt a scream rise in my throat. Laying on the
ground was Sailor Saturn, Neptune hovering over her. Venus, Jupiter and Mercury
looked like they had been slammed into a near by brick building and were trying
to stand up. In the center of the street stood a large creature that somewhat
resembled the large clock that usually sat in front of the pharmacy. Though now
it had arms, legs and a head full of blazing white hair. As we approached, Pluto
raised her staff and whispered her attack.
The words no more left her mouth than the youma put it's hands on the clock
on it's stomach, stopping time. Pluto's attack hovered in mid air before the
creature blew at it, causing it to go screaming towards Pluto. Before my
horrified eyes, it hit Pluto dead on. She was slammed back into a telephone
booth, shattering the glass around her.
"Oh my God," I whispered. "How do we stop something that can stop our
attacks before it reaches them?"
Mars bit her lip, studying the youma before us. In the few fights I had
joined in, I had never seen her so uncertain of the outcome. And that frightened
me to the very bone. Something deep inside me began stirring, calling out to me.
I was their princess, wasn't I? I was whom they were depending on. I had to do
something. Determined, I raced towards the youma, Mars screaming behind me to
stop.
Something pushed me forwards, adrenaline pumped through my veins as I
lunged towards the creature. Just as it had done previously, the hands on it's
stomach stopped and I found myself hanging in thin air. Within a mere second,
it shoved me back, flying towards a building. I didn't even have time to scream,
I just flinched, waiting for the impact.
Still I waited, but the pain never came, just the loud sound of shattering
glass as something flew through a window pane. It didn't occur to me for a couple
of seconds to open my eyes. For a moment it seemed I was back in Mamoru's arms.
But that was impossible, wasn't it? Just wishful thinking on my behalf. More than
likely I had passed out, and hadn't realized it yet. When I had the courage to
open my eyes to see what damage was done, I was far from slammed into a nearby
building. I was, however, on someone.
Once more, I looked up to see my savior - and to my relief, it was Tuxedo
Kamen. We had landed inside a building, him taking the blunt of the impact. I
found myself safely tucked against his chest. I moved over off his body, the
crunching sound of glass under me and leaned over enough to see his face. "Tuxedo
Kamen-sama," I whispered. "Are you okay?"
Instead of answering, he tried to sit up. His face contorted in pain and
he laid back down. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. If he died, to save me,
I would never be able to live with myself. One tear slid down my face as I
pushed a lock of midnight black hair away from his face. "Mamoru, please be
alright. Please don't die," I begged.
I had never known pain this deep. It ate away at my heart, tearing my
insides away. The sight of him gasping for breath made me want to scream. Why
had he done that? To save me? I wasn't worth it, I knew I wasn't. More and more
tears gathered in my eyes, and I done nothing to stop them from flowing down
my face. I reached my hand behind his back to help him sit up and gasped. My
hand came in contact with a thick liquid and when I yanked it back, blood stained
it. His blood. Oh dear God, what do I do? I couldn't think straight, I just wanted
to go back and change this. Stop him, or myself, whatever it took to not be sitting
here now.
Behind me I could hear shouts of attacks, but I couldn't move. I couldn't
tear my eyes away from the blood on my hand. "Mamoru!" I cried, clutching my hands
to his jacket. "Please be alright... please..."
Mamoru slowly opened his eyes, the pain in his back making him flinch
as he moved. His hand came up and touched my cheek, and I felt a smile. He would
be alright if he could move. He had to be. This wasn't happening now, not after
all that had transpired tonight. It couldn't be. A small smile came to his lips
as he brushed away a tear on my face. "You do care..." he whispered and then his
head dropped back into the shattered glass.
I couldn't believe my eyes. I felt a scream rise once more to my throat and
I let it out. A voice full of terror that seemed to not be my own echoed through
out the building. I fell onto his chest. The scream ended, only to be replaced by
gasps as I sobbed.
I don't know how much time passed as I laid there on Mamoru's seemingly
lifeless body and sobbed. It could have been an eternity, or only ten minutes.
I had no concept of time, just the never-ending pain in my heart. I should have
kissed him tonight, I wanted to. I could have made him happy in the few hours
before this. But I didn't. "You're not dead, Mamoru. You're not," I whispered,
over and over in a pitiful cry. "You can't be... you just can't. You aren't
dead," I mumbled. "Because.. I-I love you.. and I never got to--"
The sentence never finished. A brilliant light began glowing around us,
blinding my swollen eyes. In amazement I sat up, still clutching the lapels
of Mamoru's tuxedo. Everywhere I looked it was nothing but light, the only
thing I could make out was Mamoru's body beneath me. "What...?" I mumbled.
The light grew brighter still, forcing me to close my eyes against it's
glow. The ground beneath us disappeared and faintly I heard what sounded like
a scream of death. But it was far away, a distant echo of pain and agony. Looking
around, I felt my grasp on what little fear I felt fade away. Peaceful. It was so
peaceful here, so serene. There was no pain, no heartache, nothing but blissfulness.
But the peace frightened me. Was I dead? Was this the moments before my
eternal fate would be decided? And why was Mamoru with me? I felt a small twinge
of panic rise in my soul. If I were to die, then the other senshi couldn't save
Earth. And Shingo... alone, no family to care for him. I was sure the girls would
care for him, but to loose his mother, father.... and now his sister, too? That
would be too much for him.
My frantic thoughts were interrupted by Mamoru stirring beneath me. The
pain seemed to be lifted from him and he sat up with little effort. His blue
eyes stared around at the never-ending white light and then to me. "Usa?" His
voice was that of astonishment, disbelief.
"Where are we?" I asked him, feeling strangely better now that I had someone
else sharing my strange experience.
"What do you mean, where are we? Aren't you doing this?"
"Doing what?" I asked in amazement, looking around. All I could see was
the white blinding light. But even as I looked at Mamoru in puzzlement, he seemed
to be disappearing from my grasp. I reached for him, but my hands went through his
transparent form as if he wasn't really there. "Mamoru?" I called frantically. His
lips moved, but no sound reached my ears. I was leaving him, though I knew not how
I knew this. But I was as sure of it as I was of the moon. "Don't leave me!" I
yelled to him, reaching out once more.
His body disappeared, only the haunting image of his blue eyes staying behind.
I felt tears well up in my eyes. If I were dead, did that mean he wasn't? Surely
there was an explanation for this. If I could just think clearly. But something
tugged at my mind, something so unexplainably sweet and alluring. Peace. Serenity.
An exsistance void of feeling. Void of hurt, pain, suffering....
And as the last of Mamoru's blue eyes disappeared, I realized something. Yes,
this wonderful place would be that I could stay in forever. No pain or heartache -
and yet, there would also be no love. No friendship. Nothingness. And while I may
not feel loneliness, it would be lurking under the surface.
No, I couldn't stay here. Not now. Not when the longer I desperately tried
to picture Mamoru's face, the clearer it became. I struggled against the invading
darkness to reach for Mamoru's out stretched hand. And just as the emptiness
surrounded me at last, I felt it. Pulling me from the depths of eternity, Mamoru
was there.
With the gentleness of his hand touching mine came a crashing pain like
none I had ever known. Every hair on my arms seemed to ache from my toes to my
head. For a fleeting moment I wished to be back in the peaceful darkness, but
that thought left when I heard Mamoru's voice in my ear. His breath tickled my
ear as he reassured me I was going to be okay, just to hold on a little longer.
It was many minutes before I found the strength to open my eyes. Painfully
I blinked them back, only to shut them once more to the invading bright light.
Slowly this time, I reopened them and found myself laying on a bed, Mamoru
hovering above me.
"Ami! She's awake!" he cried towards the door, and then turned back to me
where he grasped my small hand in his two larger ones. "It's okay, Usa. You're
going to be okay now."
I looked up into his ocean blue eyes and felt his feeling pouring out of
them. As best I could manage, I licked my parched lips and a voice that didn't
sound like my own escaped them. "I really have to stop fainting like that..."
As I closed my eyes to fall into an exhausted sleep, I heard Mamoru chuckle
lightly. To my surprise, I felt his lips gently touch my forehead. "Don't worry
about it, Usa. Just always come back to me, ne?"
Perhaps the last sentence was nothing more than my dreams teasing me. After
all, God knows I had seen and heard enough weird things in the last couple of days.
But with his voice still fresh in my mind, I drifted off to sleep. It wouldn't be
until much later did I realize the importance today's events would have on my life.
--End Chapter 4.
Finally, this chapter is done and ready for viewing ^_^!!! Sorry minna, I was on
vacation in the beautiful Panama City Beach area, and then Savanah and then Charleston
and tomarrow we are off to Gatlinburg, TN (which isn't but a 30 minute drive from
where I live) But I thought I would get this chapter out before I went ^^
I'm working on the next chapter - Chapter Five: The Power of Wishes - and I'm not
promising when it will be done, but I'm trying to put a rush on it ^_^ A lot of the
ocean scences in the next chapter came from spending so much time on the Gulf of
Mexico this last week... *sigh* I loved it ^_^
As always, HUGE thanks to everyone who keeps in contact with me on my stories *hugs*
I'm soooo happy I'm getting a good feedback on this story. Lots of thanks, also, to
my wonderful editor, Meara, who keeps my spirits high as I work through what I plan
on being the longest story I've wrote since the Don't Let Me Go series Patch and
I finished.
Keep the emailing coming ^_^
3 Bethany
Bethany212@aol.com
http://AmericanHeros.tripod.com
God Bless America
__________________________
Flee to Destiny
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG
@------
Chapter Four - One dance too many
@------
Rei sat down in the chair recently vacated by Mamoru. I stared blankly
at the door, a deep feeling of wrong doing in my heart. There was something
else, something Mamoru wanted me to remember. But I couldn't grasp it. Feeling
lower than pond scum, I looked at Rei.
"What was that about?" she asked.
I shrugged, trying to act nonchantly, and looked at my hands. "Your
guess is as good as mine."
"Mamoru-san was here all day, in that chair, watching you," Ami said,
also sitting down. "He said he wanted to make sure you were alright..."
Rei smiled wickedly and leaned towards me. "Sounds like someone is in
love..." she drawled out, winking at me. "How did you capture Mamoru's heart
so quickly? No one else has ever been able to."
"Me?" I asked, blinking. "I didn't do anything but give him old coffee,
put sugar in the old coffee and give it back to him, and then faint."
Rei's face dropped as she looked at Ami, who was typing madly on her
computer. "Eh.. Ami-chan, are you taking notes?"
The petite Senshi of Ice blushed furiously and shook her head. "No, I'm
scanning Usagi to be sure she is alright. Fainting like she did earlier might
be more than just exhaustion."
Worriedly I chewed on my bottom lip. Ami worked for a few moments longer
and then shut her computer, not looking any better for it. "Everything seems
okay now," she said slowly, still looking worried.
I stood up in a very unsure fashion, wondering if I would fall flat on my
face. Luckily, I didn't. Even though I felt stiff, I didn't have the feeling of
tiredness in my bones as I had recently felt. It was as if I were a whole new
person. Smiling, I went downstairs to apologize to Motoki and to find Shingo.
The arcade downstairs was packed. Teenagers, adults and children ran
everywhere. Some playing games, others eating or just talking. The lights
outside made it seem like a whole other world existed inside. A small piece
of the hustle and bustle of everyday life was captured inside the large arcade.
It took me a moment to find Motoki, but finally I spotted him towards the Sailor
V game.
"Look who's decided to join the world of the living!" Motoki exclaimed
as I tapped him on the shoulder. He laughed and turned to fully face me. Minako
sat at the Sailor V game, her tongue stuck out the side of her mouth in concentration.
"Are you feeling any better now?"
"Un," I answered, unable to stop the smile on my face. "I'm so sorry about
everything.." I didn't finish my sentence before Motoki shook both his hands and
hushed me.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure to work you extra hard to make up for it," he
said, winking. Quickly he bent down to plant a kiss on Minako's cheek. "Be back
in a sec."
Minako nodded her head yes, never taking her eyes from the screen. Makoto
walked up behind the Senshi of Love as her game ended abruptly. "Damn," Minako
mumbled, hitting her fist on the machine. "And I was further than I had ever
gotten."
"Don't worry Minako-chan, you can't play that game every day and not win
it eventually," Makoto laughed. Minako turned and glared at the tall woman, but
Makoto ignored her and looked at me. "Usagi-chan, our cooking class is throwing
a masquerade ball tonight to raise funds for the competition we want to go to in
the fall. Do you want to go?"
I looked around, almost looking for an excuse laying around. I didn't
really want to go. But I felt bad telling her no when she was nice enough to
let Shingo and I live with her. My eyes must have expressed my thoughts for me,
though. Makoto made a puppy dog face. "Onegai?" she asked sweetly.
I sighed, but then my excuse ran up to me. Shingo held his arms up for me
to pick him up. "You are getting a little big for this," I said to him softly,
wrapping my arms around him and hugging him. Smiling, he laid his head on my
shoulder. "I don't have anyone to watch Shingo.."
"We'll watch him!" Minako immediately replied, jumping up from her seat.
"You need to go out. Rei-chan and Ami-chan will help me. You won't be a problem
for us, will you Shingo-chan?" Minako asked the child in my arms, who, to my horror,
nodded his head no.
"Please Usagi-chan?" Makoto added. There was a conspiracy here, and I knew
it. Between looking at the two of them, I almost gave up.
"I don't have anything to wear," I pointed out. There! Come up with a solution
now!
"Don't worry!" Minako exclaimed. "We are the same size, you can wear one of
my dresses!"
That excuse just went down the drain doing ninety. Sighing my defeat, I
nodded my head. It would be a long night indeed.
@------
Over the rim of the punch glass in my hand, I looked around the room. It was
extremely crowded, which made it a little warmer than I would have liked. Downing
the remains of the drink, I set the glass next to the others I had drank. Surely
I was going to float away if this kept up.
I felt slightly uncomfortable in Minako's dress. Though even I had to admit
it was beautiful. The creamy white material hugged my figure down to my waist where
it flowed out in delicate waves to my feet. Every time I moved, the dress rustled
around me. The top fit snuggly against my stomach and chest that ended in loose
straps that laid off my shoulders. My hair was pulled up on the sides that allowed
cascades of golden curls to lay down my back.
Long ago I had disgarded the mask I was handed as I came in. Though it added
to the mystery of the ball, I had grown tired of the straps against the side of my
face. A handful of men had asked me to dance, but I had declined time and time again.
I didn't feel like dancing, truth be known I didn't even want to be here. Makoto had
found me once in a while, asking if I was enjoying myself. Of course I answered yes
and smiled. Only I knew how bad I wanted to be home enjoying a good book.
I called home twice already, and the evening was only two hours old. Minako
assured me that Shingo was fine, and made sure to ask if I was enjoying myself.
Why did everyone have to ask that, anyways? It was as if their mission in life was
to see that I had a good time tonight. Perhaps they knew something I didn't.
Then again, I've probably been standing here too long thinking about it.
That decided, I headed for the refreshment table again. If I was going to float
out the door any second now - surely another drink wouldn't hurt a thing.
I reached my hand out for my sixth glass of punch - or was it my seventh?
Anyways, I reached for another glass of punch when another hand grabbed it up.
Another hand? I thought. Now that didn't make sense. I only had two hands, and
neither of my hands had the glass. I look again. Nope, I wasn't holding it. So
who was? That thought seemed to take a little longer to process than it normally
should have. Though don't ask me how I knew that.
Accusingly I stared at the interfering hand until suddenly I relied that
it was attached to an arm. And upon further inspection, it was also attached to
a body! The nerve of this person. It was obvious I was reaching for that glass.
I looked up at the man. He seemed to be ten feet tall from my angle. Looking
up at him seem to make the blood rush to my head and the overly warm room suddenly
took a turn towards sweltering hot.
"You okay, Usa?" a deep voice asked. It didn't seem to be coming from the
person in front of me. But more like all around me. Oh no, I'm going to faint
again. I could see it coming a mile away. But I guess the thought must have taken
a wrong turn and got lost, because I didn't faint. Though I did stagger forwards.
The hand, arm and body in front of me, that seemed to be the origin of
the voice as well, grabbed a hold of me. "Come on Usa, I think you had a little
too much to drink." Gently he held me up and wrapped one arm around me to guide
me forwards. The floor seemed to grow, rushing up at my face and causing my
vision to blur. Then the room seemed to be shrinking. Silently I wished it would
make up it's mind.
A few moments, staggering and nervous laughs from the ten foot tall man
holding me up later - I found myself outside. The night air had a chill to it
and immediately I burrowed into the warms fold of the man's jacket. He stood
stark still for a long moment. It was like wrapping my arms around a nice big,
warm...statue. But don't think that fault discouraged me any. I didn't care if
he ever moved, so long as I got rid of the chill bumps on my bare arms and back.
After a couple of minutes, his arms came around me and a leaned my head
against his chest. The gentle thump of his heart filled my mind and eased the
aching that was beginning there. The world around us could have blown up or
burned to the ground, and I would have never known the difference. As long as
I was standing where I stood now - everything seemed right in the world.
Why did these arms seem so familiar? Why did the way his breath move my
bangs seem so right? I could have blocked the rest of my life out if I could
stay in the position I found myself in now.
"Usa.." he breathed. Strange how beautiful that name sounded from his lips.
The way his deep voice vibrated through his chest felt so wonderful against my face.
I looked up at the tall man holding me. We seem to fit perfectly together,
like our bodies were molded to be able to hold each other. He wore a mask, but
even in my slightly drunk state - I knew who it was. Two different men trapped
in one body. But there was something else about the way he gazed at me through
that domino mask. Something more familiar than Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen.
Something... that stayed slightly beyond my grasping finger tips.
His intense blue eyes stared into mine and achingly slow he began to move
towards me. In the back of my mind I knew what was about to happen. My heart
seemed to speed up, anticipating the feel of his lips on mine. Small jolts of
what felt like electricity ran from the tips of my toes to my eager lips. As
his lips neared mine, my eyes fluttered close - wanting to saver this moment
forever in my mind.
"Set me free..."
It was subtle. So faint that at first I thought it nothing more than a
memory. But then the voice rose as it repeated over and over. "Set me free..."
the pitiful words echoed in my mind. "..the man we died for...the life we
loved..." I tried to block it out, but just as Mamoru's lips were mere centimeters
from my own - I pulled back.
A small sound of disappointment left Mamoru's mouth. I wanted to scream
at myself for what I had just done. But what... what if there was someone else?
What if I was meant to be with another man that was also reborn, waiting for
only me? I couldn't get myself involved with Mamoru now and risk hurting not
only him, but another man, in the long run. It wasn't fair to either them, or
myself.
"G-Gomen," I squeaked, embarrassed.
Mamoru stepped back from me and ran his long fingers through his hair.
"No, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't know what came over me."
I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched Mamoru try to collect himself. Was
I pushing happiness away with both hands? Or was I being realistic? The answer
seemed as close - yet as far away - as the vision of the girl in my dreams. I
wanted so badly to enjoy the moment at hand. But too many 'what ifs' clouded my
mind to truly put my heart into anything.
I looked inside the glass doors at the people dancing around the room.
I want to enjoy myself tonight, I decided. And pushing the sad voice of the girl
as far back into my mind as I could, I grasped Mamoru's hand. "Dance with me,"
I said quietly, looking dead into his blue eyes.
He seemed startled by my request. A moment ago I could have been kissing
him, and then I pulled away. And yet now, I was asking him to dance. I'm not sure
what was going through his mind, but I'm almost positive it was bordering on pure
confusion. Finally a somewhat boyish grin broke out on his face and he bowed as
he had earlier at the arcade. "May I have the honor of this day, milady?"
I laughed at the picture he made. It seemed to be out of an old movie that
I had watched hundreds of times. The moonlight beamed down on us giving the air
a romantic quality. And here I stood in front of the most handsome man I had ever
laid my eyes on, bowing to ask for a dance. Smiling from ear to ear, I placed my
hand in his out stretched one and he lead me inside.
He held me close to his body, delicately but firmly. I felt like a diamond
that was to be cherished for him alone as we glided across the floor. We circled
the large ball room numerous times as we kept in beat with the music. Dance after
dance, song after song. I lost all track of time in his arms. He said not a word,
only smiled when his eyes meet mine.
The crowd thinned out as the evening wore on, but I didn't take much notice.
A deep feeling of peace covered me like a blanket. I felt warm and protected in his
arms. I closed my eyes and leaned against his strong chest, allowing him to guide me.
The music invaded my mind, blocking out every other thought but of him. There was
only one word that could describe this - perfect.
Many songs past, though I wasn't keeping count. We moved together for an
eternity it seemed. Years seemed to be mere seconds, and I found myself falling.
Falling back into time, another time. Another life. I was dancing like this, never
feeling time as it moved by. I was in the arms of my prince again, safe and secure
in the world in which I would someday rule.
People were conversing around us, but it seemed like part of the music. The
magic of the evening was blending together. Words spilled out of my mouth before I
knew what I was saying.
"I wish we could stay like this, Endymion... forever..."
"What did you say?" The world around me suddenly came crashing down. I was
brought back to reality quickly, blinking back the dream world in my mind. Trying
to clear the voices in my mind and focus on Mamoru, I began to feel dizzy.
"Usa," Mamoru said, his voice firmer this time. He placed his hand under my
chin and brought my face to to look at him. "What did you say?" he repeated.
"I.." What did I say? Whose name was on my lips? The memory, as close as it
had been seconds ago - was gone again. Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes as
I stared at Mamoru. "I.. I don't know." Part of my mind was nothing but a mist, a
dense fog that prevented me from seeing everything as a whole. Small images appeared
before me, just to disappear again. I felt a scream rising in my throat.
Mamoru dropped his arms from my waist. The lack of strength hit me hard,
causing me to step forward to regain my balance. I looked up at him, almost
pleading with him to help me, to clear away the spider webs and holes in my memory.
When I meet his blue eyes again they were full of disappointment. Sighing, I
stepped back. "I'm sorry Mamoru-san." He seemed to flinch at my words. "I.. I
won't let this happen again."
Quickly I ran from the room, from the memories - but mostly from the deep
sadness that called Mamoru's eyes it's home.
Why did I feel so responsible for putting it there?
@------
When finally I was at home again, I fell onto my bed, searching my mind
for answers. There was an aching in my heart, a yearning to be in Mamoru's arms
again. I wanted to smile at the memory, and cry at the same time. My heart sped
up as I remembered his deep blue eyes staring so intently into my own. I felt
like I was now missing more than I was before tonight. Instead of memories being
gone, my heart and soul seemed to still be with Mamoru. Tears filled my eyes,
leaving salty trails of sorrow evident on my face.
In the back of my deep thoughts, I heard someone knocking softly on my
door. So lost in my self pity, I ignored it. After a few moments, the door
creaked slowly open and Makoto slid through the opening. With great pains, she
shut the door as quietly as she had opened it. "Usagi-chan?"
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and sat up. The dress that I
still wore rustled around me when I moved. Instead of answering, I stared out
my windows at the full moon that had seen it all tonight. Silent and beautiful
in the night sky, it saw and knew all. I wish I did.
Makoto came over and sat next to me, wrapping one arm around my shoulder
and sighing deeply. "What's wrong, Usagi-chan? What can I do?"
I leaned into her sisterly embrace and allowed a few more tears to escape
my red, swollen eyes. "Mako-chan, do you remember… before?"
The unspoken words were as good as said aloud. Instantly she knew what
I meant without asking. The tall senshi nodded her head, also staring at the
moon. "I remember some, but not all. Some faces are still fuzzy, some things
nothing but fleeting images. I know that when I was four my mother and father
sent me to begin senshi training. The first born of all the planets were those
who would be guardians for the Moon Princess. I can remember my father standing
so proudly as he handed me my henshin wand. Sometimes the memories of our past
life seem like a dream, something I imagined as I slept. And others are so clear
that it was like it happened only minutes ago."
I nodded my head, sitting up once more and wiping away my tears with the
back of my hand. "I know what you mean. Sometimes I can sit and remember things
with such clarity and others are so hazy. I wish I could remember all."
"You will," another voice said. Luna jumped up on the side of the bed
and laid down next to us. "I know you want to remember now, but you have to
have patience. If you were to remember all at once, there is no telling what
kind of psychological damage might accompany it. You had good times on the Moon,
but there was just as many bad ones."
That was my heart's fear spoke aloud. I wanted to remember my mother,
my past life - but not the heartache that came with that knowledge. With every
thing that had happened in the last couple of weeks, it could be my demise to
remember everything. Then again, I had my reasons for wanting to know. Especially
know more about the man in my dreams.
Ami and Rei pushed open my bedroom door after a short knock. The priestess
looked rather upset about something as she pushed her hair back. "Eh, Mako-chan,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news..."
"Demo?" Makoto asked, turning around to face her.
"Minako-chan is trying to cook..." The sentence wasn't finished before
Makoto ran out of the room, Rei trailing behind her laughing. I smiled as I
watched them go. There was never a dull moment around here, was there?
Luna walked out of the room and I stood to follow when Ami shut the
door. Without saying a word, she pulled out her computer. "Usagi-chan, if
you don't mind I would like to scan you again. There was something that came
up in my earlier scan that I didn't quiet understand. Do you mind?"
I didn't understand exactly what Ami meant, but I nodded my head anyways.
The genius senshi began concentrating on her computer and for the longest time
didn't say a word or change facial expression. I began to grow worried as the
minutes ticked by. But since I didn't want to interrupt whatever it was she was
doing, I kept my mouth shut. Finally, what seemed an eternity later, she stopped
and shut her computer. Shaking her head, she rubbed her hands over her face.
"What?" I anxiously asked.
Ami shifted her weight from one foot to the next and scratched her head.
"I'm not sure, something else is showing up on my screen and I can't figure
out what it is." She looked up, and must have seen the worry on my face. All
the tension broke from her face and she smiled. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad.
Perhaps it's just a flaw in the computer." Almost every ounce of apprehension
gone, she opened the door. "Come on, let's go see what Minako is destroying."
Hesitantly I remained behind, wondering what could have Ami so upset.
And even more, why she wouldn't tell me. Instead of dwelling on it, however,
I changed out of the dress and into some pajamas. From the laughs and groans
coming from the kitchen I imagined Minako was causing quite a ruckus that I
most definitely didn't want to miss.
@------
That night my deep sleep was ended abruptly. I suddenly had fleeting
thoughts about knowing how YooHoo© felt as they were being shaken. Sleep
pulled hard to keep me under it's wing, but the person trying to wake me
seemed to be determined.
"Usagi... c'mon, you got to wake up!" Rei practically screamed.
I rose up, hitting my head on Rei's as I did so. Of course, after I had
pushed aside the urge to burrow back into the covers, I realized that it wasn't
Rei who had woken me, but Sailor Mars. And it most definitely wasn't day break.
"What's going on?" I asked, rubbing my burning eyes and trying to focus
them. Mars looked relived to have finally got my attention.
"There is a youma attack, we got to go," she said urgently. "The outer
senshi and Tuxedo Kamen are already there."
Without so much as a glancing thought towards my warm bed again - okay,
so deep in my mind I was cursing the enemy - I jumped up. The clock beside my
bed flashed ten minutes after one. I hadn't even been asleep long enough to
say I was. Oooh, whatever just had to attack in the middle of the night was
going to get it good.
"Moon Crystal Power - Make UP!"
When the now familar lights went down and left me standing in my fuku,
Mars headed out the door. With one last yawn, I rushed out the door behind
her and into the chilly night.
The city streets were abandoned, save for an occasional car that passed.
The moon that had brightly lit up the sky earlier was now covered by clouds that
also blocked out the stars. A chill ran up my shine, sending shivers down my arms
and legs as we ran through the empty city streets. Mars looked back occasionally,
and seeing I was still behind her, she continued on towards the main square.
We turned a corner and I felt a scream rise in my throat. Laying on the
ground was Sailor Saturn, Neptune hovering over her. Venus, Jupiter and Mercury
looked like they had been slammed into a near by brick building and were trying
to stand up. In the center of the street stood a large creature that somewhat
resembled the large clock that usually sat in front of the pharmacy. Though now
it had arms, legs and a head full of blazing white hair. As we approached, Pluto
raised her staff and whispered her attack.
The words no more left her mouth than the youma put it's hands on the clock
on it's stomach, stopping time. Pluto's attack hovered in mid air before the
creature blew at it, causing it to go screaming towards Pluto. Before my
horrified eyes, it hit Pluto dead on. She was slammed back into a telephone
booth, shattering the glass around her.
"Oh my God," I whispered. "How do we stop something that can stop our
attacks before it reaches them?"
Mars bit her lip, studying the youma before us. In the few fights I had
joined in, I had never seen her so uncertain of the outcome. And that frightened
me to the very bone. Something deep inside me began stirring, calling out to me.
I was their princess, wasn't I? I was whom they were depending on. I had to do
something. Determined, I raced towards the youma, Mars screaming behind me to
stop.
Something pushed me forwards, adrenaline pumped through my veins as I
lunged towards the creature. Just as it had done previously, the hands on it's
stomach stopped and I found myself hanging in thin air. Within a mere second,
it shoved me back, flying towards a building. I didn't even have time to scream,
I just flinched, waiting for the impact.
Still I waited, but the pain never came, just the loud sound of shattering
glass as something flew through a window pane. It didn't occur to me for a couple
of seconds to open my eyes. For a moment it seemed I was back in Mamoru's arms.
But that was impossible, wasn't it? Just wishful thinking on my behalf. More than
likely I had passed out, and hadn't realized it yet. When I had the courage to
open my eyes to see what damage was done, I was far from slammed into a nearby
building. I was, however, on someone.
Once more, I looked up to see my savior - and to my relief, it was Tuxedo
Kamen. We had landed inside a building, him taking the blunt of the impact. I
found myself safely tucked against his chest. I moved over off his body, the
crunching sound of glass under me and leaned over enough to see his face. "Tuxedo
Kamen-sama," I whispered. "Are you okay?"
Instead of answering, he tried to sit up. His face contorted in pain and
he laid back down. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. If he died, to save me,
I would never be able to live with myself. One tear slid down my face as I
pushed a lock of midnight black hair away from his face. "Mamoru, please be
alright. Please don't die," I begged.
I had never known pain this deep. It ate away at my heart, tearing my
insides away. The sight of him gasping for breath made me want to scream. Why
had he done that? To save me? I wasn't worth it, I knew I wasn't. More and more
tears gathered in my eyes, and I done nothing to stop them from flowing down
my face. I reached my hand behind his back to help him sit up and gasped. My
hand came in contact with a thick liquid and when I yanked it back, blood stained
it. His blood. Oh dear God, what do I do? I couldn't think straight, I just wanted
to go back and change this. Stop him, or myself, whatever it took to not be sitting
here now.
Behind me I could hear shouts of attacks, but I couldn't move. I couldn't
tear my eyes away from the blood on my hand. "Mamoru!" I cried, clutching my hands
to his jacket. "Please be alright... please..."
Mamoru slowly opened his eyes, the pain in his back making him flinch
as he moved. His hand came up and touched my cheek, and I felt a smile. He would
be alright if he could move. He had to be. This wasn't happening now, not after
all that had transpired tonight. It couldn't be. A small smile came to his lips
as he brushed away a tear on my face. "You do care..." he whispered and then his
head dropped back into the shattered glass.
I couldn't believe my eyes. I felt a scream rise once more to my throat and
I let it out. A voice full of terror that seemed to not be my own echoed through
out the building. I fell onto his chest. The scream ended, only to be replaced by
gasps as I sobbed.
I don't know how much time passed as I laid there on Mamoru's seemingly
lifeless body and sobbed. It could have been an eternity, or only ten minutes.
I had no concept of time, just the never-ending pain in my heart. I should have
kissed him tonight, I wanted to. I could have made him happy in the few hours
before this. But I didn't. "You're not dead, Mamoru. You're not," I whispered,
over and over in a pitiful cry. "You can't be... you just can't. You aren't
dead," I mumbled. "Because.. I-I love you.. and I never got to--"
The sentence never finished. A brilliant light began glowing around us,
blinding my swollen eyes. In amazement I sat up, still clutching the lapels
of Mamoru's tuxedo. Everywhere I looked it was nothing but light, the only
thing I could make out was Mamoru's body beneath me. "What...?" I mumbled.
The light grew brighter still, forcing me to close my eyes against it's
glow. The ground beneath us disappeared and faintly I heard what sounded like
a scream of death. But it was far away, a distant echo of pain and agony. Looking
around, I felt my grasp on what little fear I felt fade away. Peaceful. It was so
peaceful here, so serene. There was no pain, no heartache, nothing but blissfulness.
But the peace frightened me. Was I dead? Was this the moments before my
eternal fate would be decided? And why was Mamoru with me? I felt a small twinge
of panic rise in my soul. If I were to die, then the other senshi couldn't save
Earth. And Shingo... alone, no family to care for him. I was sure the girls would
care for him, but to loose his mother, father.... and now his sister, too? That
would be too much for him.
My frantic thoughts were interrupted by Mamoru stirring beneath me. The
pain seemed to be lifted from him and he sat up with little effort. His blue
eyes stared around at the never-ending white light and then to me. "Usa?" His
voice was that of astonishment, disbelief.
"Where are we?" I asked him, feeling strangely better now that I had someone
else sharing my strange experience.
"What do you mean, where are we? Aren't you doing this?"
"Doing what?" I asked in amazement, looking around. All I could see was
the white blinding light. But even as I looked at Mamoru in puzzlement, he seemed
to be disappearing from my grasp. I reached for him, but my hands went through his
transparent form as if he wasn't really there. "Mamoru?" I called frantically. His
lips moved, but no sound reached my ears. I was leaving him, though I knew not how
I knew this. But I was as sure of it as I was of the moon. "Don't leave me!" I
yelled to him, reaching out once more.
His body disappeared, only the haunting image of his blue eyes staying behind.
I felt tears well up in my eyes. If I were dead, did that mean he wasn't? Surely
there was an explanation for this. If I could just think clearly. But something
tugged at my mind, something so unexplainably sweet and alluring. Peace. Serenity.
An exsistance void of feeling. Void of hurt, pain, suffering....
And as the last of Mamoru's blue eyes disappeared, I realized something. Yes,
this wonderful place would be that I could stay in forever. No pain or heartache -
and yet, there would also be no love. No friendship. Nothingness. And while I may
not feel loneliness, it would be lurking under the surface.
No, I couldn't stay here. Not now. Not when the longer I desperately tried
to picture Mamoru's face, the clearer it became. I struggled against the invading
darkness to reach for Mamoru's out stretched hand. And just as the emptiness
surrounded me at last, I felt it. Pulling me from the depths of eternity, Mamoru
was there.
With the gentleness of his hand touching mine came a crashing pain like
none I had ever known. Every hair on my arms seemed to ache from my toes to my
head. For a fleeting moment I wished to be back in the peaceful darkness, but
that thought left when I heard Mamoru's voice in my ear. His breath tickled my
ear as he reassured me I was going to be okay, just to hold on a little longer.
It was many minutes before I found the strength to open my eyes. Painfully
I blinked them back, only to shut them once more to the invading bright light.
Slowly this time, I reopened them and found myself laying on a bed, Mamoru
hovering above me.
"Ami! She's awake!" he cried towards the door, and then turned back to me
where he grasped my small hand in his two larger ones. "It's okay, Usa. You're
going to be okay now."
I looked up into his ocean blue eyes and felt his feeling pouring out of
them. As best I could manage, I licked my parched lips and a voice that didn't
sound like my own escaped them. "I really have to stop fainting like that..."
As I closed my eyes to fall into an exhausted sleep, I heard Mamoru chuckle
lightly. To my surprise, I felt his lips gently touch my forehead. "Don't worry
about it, Usa. Just always come back to me, ne?"
Perhaps the last sentence was nothing more than my dreams teasing me. After
all, God knows I had seen and heard enough weird things in the last couple of days.
But with his voice still fresh in my mind, I drifted off to sleep. It wouldn't be
until much later did I realize the importance today's events would have on my life.
--End Chapter 4.
Finally, this chapter is done and ready for viewing ^_^!!! Sorry minna, I was on
vacation in the beautiful Panama City Beach area, and then Savanah and then Charleston
and tomarrow we are off to Gatlinburg, TN (which isn't but a 30 minute drive from
where I live) But I thought I would get this chapter out before I went ^^
I'm working on the next chapter - Chapter Five: The Power of Wishes - and I'm not
promising when it will be done, but I'm trying to put a rush on it ^_^ A lot of the
ocean scences in the next chapter came from spending so much time on the Gulf of
Mexico this last week... *sigh* I loved it ^_^
As always, HUGE thanks to everyone who keeps in contact with me on my stories *hugs*
I'm soooo happy I'm getting a good feedback on this story. Lots of thanks, also, to
my wonderful editor, Meara, who keeps my spirits high as I work through what I plan
on being the longest story I've wrote since the Don't Let Me Go series Patch and
I finished.
Keep the emailing coming ^_^
3 Bethany
Bethany212@aol.com
http://AmericanHeros.tripod.com
God Bless America