Author's Notes at bottom - Enjoy!
@------
Flee to Destiny
Chapter 11 - Normal... or not
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG
@------
"Breathe, Usako! Come on, you can do it!"
With all the strength I could muster, I gripped Mamo-chan's
hand as hard as I could. I saw the strain on his face to not say
that I was hurting him. Evil thoughts entered my mind as I squeezed
harder. You wanted to share in my pain? I think I can arrange that
for you, bucko!
The doctor at the foot of the bed popped up over the sheets
so quickly, and with such a stupid smile on her face, that she
reminded me of a jack-in-the box. "You're doing great, Usagi!"
she beamed at me. "Just a few more pushes and we'll have all of
them out!"
It could have been the pain killers, but did I just hear
her say *all* of them? "ALL?!" I screamed. Beside me Mamo-chan
was saying something about broken fingers, but in light of the
doctor's comment I ignored him.
"Oh yes," she replied, nodding her head back and forth.
Vaguely her lack of control of her bobbing head reminded me of
that jack-in-the-box again. "There's four. Quadruplets!"
"WHAT?!"
"AHAHAHAHA!" Mamo-chan screamed. I glared over at him when
I realized that he wasn't screaming about the number of babies -
but rather at his hand. It resembled something off a cartoon the
way it was bright red and about four times its normal size.
"PUSH!" Dr. Mizuno ordered.
"Usako, you're kind of hurting me here..." Mamo-chan
practically screamed.
"Yeah, come on Usagi - PUSH!" Suddenly I was surrounded by
all the Senshi and the lunar cats in cheerleading uniforms, shaking
pom poms in my face. Artemis (wearing a bright pink skirt and halter
top) was leading the group in cheer. "P-U-S-H! What does it spell?
Push! Push Usagi, push!" was the words they all cried at once,
followed by waving the pom poms around as they jumped.
"Here comes number three!" Dr. Mizuno yelled from the foot
of the bed. "Keep pushing!"
"P-U..!"
"Usako, you're killing me here.."
"-S-H!"
"Come on Usagi-san, here comes number four!"
"What does it spell?!"
"Usako...."
"PUSH, Usagi! Push!"
"AHHHH!" I sat up in the bed, sweat dripping from my face and
hair. My breathing was labored as I opened my mouth and sucked in air.
My eyes snapped open, my hands reaching to pull my night shirt up to
be sure I was still pregnant. Never in my life was I so happy to see
my rounded stomach. I breathed a sigh of relief, falling back on my
pillows and allowing myself to relax, if only for a moment.
The bedroom door flung open along about that time, Mamo-chan
running in--followed by Shingo and Luna. "Usako? Are you okay!?"
My love seemed terribly confused for a moment when all he saw was
me lying on our bed. He looked me over again before scratching his
head. "But... I heard you scream..."
I nodded my head, finally able to calm my racing heart down
to an even pace. Mamo-chan sat beside me on the bed, wiping off a
drop of sweat that was running dangerously close to my left eye as
I began my explanation. "I just had the weirdest dream..." I began,
feeling silly for having woken up screaming and scaring everyone to
death as a result.
"It's perfectly normal for pregnant woman to have strange
dreams," Luna stated in her standard 'I know everything' tone. She
lay down on the foot of the bed, still looking at me out of the
corner of her eye as she began washing her face. "If you want to
try and get some more sleep, I'll stay in here with you."
While the idea of going back to sleep was an appealing one,
the thought of seeing Artemis in a pink cheerleading outfit again
did not. Gratefully I smiled at my guardian cat, but shook my head.
"That's okay, Luna. I'd rather stay awake than face the Senshi
cheering "Push, Usagi! Push!" in my dreams."
Despite the worried look on my beloved's face, he cracked
up laughing at the mental image he received from my words. I glared
at him and pushed the covers aside. "I think a hot shower is in the
works."
"And then we have a surprise for you!" Shingo said excitedly.
I could tell from the moment he ran in the room he was sitting on a
secret so large there was no way he'd make it through the next ten
minutes without saying something. Mamo-chan immediately put his
hand over Shingo's mouth, casting a sly glance my way as he shoved
my brother out of the room and shut the door.
"Chiba Mamoru, what are you up to?" I asked him, grinning
from ear to ear despite myself.
"Nothing," he mumbled, grinning like a Cheshire cat at me.
He came over to the bed and raised my shirt again - placing his
lips on my stomach. "Good morning," he whispered. "How's Papa's
baby girl this morning?" In response to his question the baby
kicked. "She hears me," he told me for the umpteenth time. Ever
since Dr. Mizuno told us that the baby could hear everything we
said now, he made it a point to talk to my stomach - ten or twenty
times a day. As he cooed and talked to his daughter, she kicked my
stomach again - hard.
"Yeah, she hears you alright," I pointed out, placing his
hand where she continued to happily kick. As I stood up, she jabbed
her foot in my stomach again. "I swear, she's going to be a kick
boxer when she grows up. Not even born yet and already giving me
a hard time."
"Only two more months and she'll be kicking the air instead
of you," he assured me, his eyes following me as I grabbed a towel
from the linen closet.
I stopped, casting a sideways glace at Mamo-chan. He was
staring at me, his eyes half closed. I felt my face warm as a blush
crept up my neck to shade my cheeks. He smiled as he noticed my
reaction, his face lighting up. Slowly he walked up behind me,
wrapping his arms around my waist and rubbing my stomach. "Have
I told you how much I love you lately?" he whispered in my ear,
his warm breath on my neck.
"Not today," I answered, trying to keep a straight face
and failing completely. He always knew what to do, what to say
to make me weak at the knees. I settled back against his chest;
knowing very well I wouldn't have it any other way.
"I tell you what," his deep voice continued as he stepped
away from me and twisted the lock on the bedroom door. When he
turned again his gaze locked with mine. I could have drowned in
their depths for the rest of eternity. "How about I run you a
nice hot bubble bath, give you a foot massage and wash your hair..."
"Ooooh," I sighed. "A foot massage and my hair washed?
What have I done to get such special treatment?"
A mock pained expression crossed Mamo-chan's face and he
placed his hands over his heart. "You question my motives, Usako?
Can I not just do it out of the love I have for you? Because I
feel so badly that I can't share in your experiences?" For a
moment he almost had me believing he was upset. Almost. I stared
at him until he broke. "Or can I not try and find a way to keep
you occupied and out of the rest of the apartment long enough for
Shingo to forget what he knows?"
I couldn't help laughing as I rolled my eyes at him. But
who was I to turn down an offer like that? My center of gravity
had long since left me, so that most things that required bending
over or moving a certain way became more like a challenge from a
game show. I had never thought of myself as clumsy, but walking
in a straight line for me was about as hard as it was for a drunken
man. And washing my long mass of hair was an obstacle that had left
me in tears more than once just this week alone. Sometimes I felt
so stupid for loosing it like I did. I wasn't the only woman on
Earth to have a baby, yet I felt so very alone. No matter what
Mamo-chan did to be a part of my pregnancy--there was no way
for him to understand what I felt.
"The water is ready, Usako," my beloved announced from the
bathroom door. He ran his fingers through his hair, a lock of his
rich, ebony hair falling back over his forehead again. He smiled
at me, his blue eyes dancing with love. For the moment I found I
could push aside all the unwanted thoughts clouding my mind. I
hoped they didn't return this time.
@------
Mamo-chan (bless his heart, I think he had no idea what he
was getting into) had not only washed my hair and gave me a
wonderful foot massage -- but had blow dried my hair and brushed
it until it gleamed. So after taking a long, relaxing scented
bubble bath - as well as all the perks - the dark thoughts of
earlier this morning did seem to subside. I hummed to myself as
I pulled my hair up into a pony tail rather than my normal two
buns and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. My
little one was a lot like Shingo and I, it appeared. She got
rather hostile if I didn't eat first thing in the morning.
As I passed Shingo, forever sitting in the living room
floor with the Nintendo controller in his hand, I kissed his
cheek and bid him good morning. With his usual "Morning, Mama,"
he went back to the game like he had never been interrupted.
With a slight smile of amusement, I went into the kitchen where
Mamo-chan had placed a stack of blue berry pancakes on the table.
"Feeling better?" he asked, moving to kiss my lips and
trying to not spill dish water in the floor at the same time.
He failed, mind you, cursing under his breath as he grabbed
for the dish towel to clean it up.
"Immensely," I replied, giggling at the sight of a six
foot two man on his knees cleaning up spilled dishwater. Not
only that, but the view from here was great also. Geesh, what
a cute butt he has. Shaking my head, I tried to focus on something
else. "Mamo-chan? Do you think it's healthy for Shingo to spend
so much time on that game?"
"Huh?" my beloved asked, looking through the doorway and
into the living room. "Oh, sure. If anything it helps his hand-
eye coordination." I gave him a puzzled look that said I didn't
really believe him. But he ignored it and went back to washing
dishes. "When I was his age I would have loved to sit around all
day playing those games."
"When I was his age I was out having fun with my friends..."
I noted, again worrying about Shingo's solitude. He hadn't seem to
make any friends here, like he had back home. "Mom was always busy
taking him to skating practice, soccer practice, a birthday party
- something."
"I'm sure he just needs time to make new friends. This has
all been hard on him, but he's a good kid. He'll make friends soon
enough." I nodded thoughtfully, trying to hide the worry from
Mamo-chan. If he noticed my distraction, he said nothing.
I ate in silence, the sound of Mamo-chan running water and
clanking dishes the only thing that invaded my thoughts. Chibi-Usa
- as her father had appointed her - stopped kicking my stomach
when I began eating. But it wasn't too long that I figured she
didn't care for the food. I looked at the plate of blueberry
pancakes - usually my favorite - and felt like I was going to
get sick. A part of me still wanted them, the other part wanted
something a little more difficult to come by.
"What's wrong?" Mamo-chan asked, looking at the plate of
pancakes that I had only picked out. "I thought they were your
favorite?"
"Eh, nothing," I mumbled. But it seemed my little angel
was persistent this morning. I had had bad craving before, but
this was insane! And I knew there wasn't a place in town that
sold what I wanted this early in the morning. Mentally I scolded
my baby, trying to get her to calm her cravings. It didn't work.
Mamo-chan took the plate, looking at me with curiosity.
"Usako, if you are craving something just tell me and I'll make
it, or go get it or something..." I couldn't help but smile at
the way he stumbled over his words. Never did I think a man was
so devoted to a pregnant woman's every whim the way Mamo-chan
was. Sometimes, despite everything, I felt so lucky.
I knew that no matter how much I fought him, he would
eventually make me tell him what it was I wanted. I shook my
head, giving up before he even had to coax it out of me. "Well,
I really would like a double cheese burger with mustard and
pickles only. And some onion rings would be nice..." I blurted
out as fast as I could, twisting a piece of my hair between my
fingers and trying to smile my best smile at him.
"Double cheese burger..." he repeated softly, realization
dawning on him. Oh yeah, before nine o'clock in the morning that
would be rather hard to find. I caught just a hint of weariness
in his eyes before he hid them and grabbed the keys off the
counter. It might have had something to do with the chocolate
chip cookie dough ice cream I wanted at midnight, but no one
can be too sure. "Anything else, my love?" he beamed at me.
"Extra pickles. Not four instead of three, either. I mean,
lots of pickles," I emphasized, mentally licking my lips. "Oh,
and some apple juice."
Mamo-chan blanched slightly, still holding the car keys
in mid-air. I saw him mouth 'apple juice' before smiling and
heading towards the door. He slipped his shoes on, called back
that he would return shortly, and left.
Still envisioning double cheeseburgers and onion rings in
my head, I patted my stomach and walked into the living room.
"You better be glad that your daddy likes to venture out for
stuff so much," I said lightly to my daughter, giggling to
myself. Hopefully he would be so willing to get up during
the night and feed Chibi-Usa when she was born.
I sat down on the sofa behind Shingo, watching the
speeding car go through the city on the screen. Suddenly
it stopped, and Shingo turned around to me, a confused
expression on his young face. I watched as he stood up
unsurely and came over and sat on the couch beside me.
I knew that something serious was bothering him just from
the way he studied me instead of talking. I said nothing,
wanting to let him decide how to say what he wanted. "Mama,"
he finally began, twisting his hands in front of him. "Can
we have a discussion?" he asked, his pronunciation of
'discussion' sounding a bit off.
I masked my worry and smiled light heartedly at him.
"Sure we can, sweetie. What do you want to talk about?" He
looked so confused about something, and also anxious to find
out the answers to questions that must have been burning in
his small mind for quite some time. I sat back against the
sofa, waiting with temptation for what he would say. But I
can guarantee you it wasn't what I was expecting.
"Why do you and Mamoru talk to your stomach? Can it
hear you?"
Honestly, it took a lot out of me to not burst out
laughing. Instead I narrowed it down to a giggle that I
tried to disguise as a cough. "Um, well," I began, searching
for the words to make a six year old understand. "Do you
remember when I told you that I was going to have a baby?
And that the baby was in my tummy?" He nodded his head
eagerly, gazing at me with huge blue eyes. "Well, now that
she is old enough she can hear what we say. So that is why
we talk to her."
He looked at me for a long moment as if trying to see
if I was lying or not. Satisfied that I wasn't, he moved
slightly closer on the couch. "So she can hear what we are
saying now?" he questioned, his eye brow still furrowed incredulity.
"Really?"
"You can also feel her; wanna try?" Eagerly he nodded
his head and I reached out to take his hand in mine. He let
me guide his hand unsurely towards my stomach where I placed
it in the spot Chibi-Usa liked to kick most often. The silence
stretched on for a good three minutes, Shingo saying nothing
and me mentally urging Chibi-Usa (for once) to kick. I seen
Shingo begin to look doubtfully at me, and I exhaled deeply.
"Young lady, you kick me almost twenty-four hours a day. Don't
tell me you decided to go to sleep now!" I accused her, Shingo
looking at me like I was rambling like a mad person.
My words must have woken her up, or maybe for once she
decided to listen. At any rate, I felt her kick just slightly
to the left of where Shingo's hand was placed. I moved his palm
quickly to the spot and seen his eyes grow. He snatched his hand
back, looking from his hand, to my stomach and to me. "That was
her?" he finally asked, looking at me with newfound appreciation.
I nodded my head, smiling at him. With weighted movements, he
leaned his head towards my stomach and earnestly said: "Hi baby.
I'm Shingo and I'm gonna be a good big brother for you."
I couldn't hold back the tears that filled my eyes if I
wanted to. It was so sweet - so precious seeing how seriously
he was talking. He straightened up, still looking distraught
about something. "Is Mamoru her Papa?" he finally asked.
I nodded my head, holding my breath as I waited for his
reaction to this. He looked to be in deep thought for a moment
before looking back at me. He stood up, going back to the game
and I let my breath out. I had no more begun to let my mind
wonder over any other questions he might have when he paused
the game again. "Can Mamoru be my Papa, too?" he asked, looking
at me over his shoulder. His eyes were so sad, so hungry for
need and the sense of belonging.
"If that is what you want, Shingo," I responded as seriously,
albeit kindly, as I could. It was so important for Mamoru to have a
family, and Shingo's acceptance of him had meant a great deal. I'm
sure this would mean even more. Shingo's face lit up with a smile
and he turned the game back on, the sounds of the racing cars soon
filling the living room.
I sat for a few more minutes watching Shingo play the game
when I heard a thumbing noise, followed by a muffled voice. I rose
to go to the door when it was pushed open, Mamo-chan coming through,
kicking the door shut with his foot and going into the kitchen. With
a smile on my face, I followed him. As I walked in, I could see he
looked slightly tired--his face had the lightest hint of unshaven
facial hair and his eyes were bloodshot. I watched as he put a half
gallon of ice cream in the freezer, two half gallon pitchers of apple
juice away before I cleared my throat.
He looked up, smiling tiredly as he did so. I felt a pang of
guilt nag at my heart. It was hard for me to find a comfortable way
to sleep anymore, but it hadn't occurred to me that because I shared
a bed with Mamo-chan that I was disturbing him. He hadn't said any
thing about it. Duh, Usagi, I told myself. He wouldn't say a word
to you. Shaking my head lightly I moved the second bag out from in
font of him and started going through it.
"I couldn't find any place that had a double cheeseburger,"
he mumbled. "And Motoki wasn't at work. So I went to the grocery
store and bought some hamburger meat. We needed some anyways.."
his voice faded out as I walked around the table and towards him.
His eyes stayed on me as I wrapped my arms around his neck and
brought his face down to mine.
I felt his arms automatically come around my waist and I
leaned up to kiss him lightly. "Thank you, Mamo-chan. But you
didn't have to go through all of that for me." Before he could
protest and tell me about how he would do anything for me, I
shut him up by pressing my lips to his again - demanding that
he return it.
When we parted, he pressed his forehead to mine. "You know
I'd do..."
"Anything for me," I finished for him, giggling slightly.
"Hai, I know."
Mamo-chan shook his head, his lips curving up so adorably
it should be a crime. "Nu uh; I would do anything for all three
of you." He kissed my nose again before leaving me to fish in the
cabinet for a frying pan.
I sat down at the table, opening the jar of pickles and
digging in. As I watched Mamo-chan make my cheeseburger, my
thoughts keep returning to the ice cream in the freezer. Pickles
forgotten, I opened the ice cream and began eating. Mamo-chan
looked at me out of the corner of his eye without saying a word
he continued cooking, his face a pale shade of green. I tried,
really, but I couldn't keep the smile from my face.
"So what time is the girl's picking you up today?" Blankly
I looked at him over the tub of ice cream in my hands. He turned
to look at me, the spatula still in his hand. "Don't tell me you
forgot you were going shopping with everyone today?" The look on
my face must have said just that, because he busted out laughing.
I looked down at the ice cream, at Mamo-chan and got up. "I
think I'll be getting dressed now." As I left the kitchen, the
sound of Mamo-chan's laughing followed me.
The phone rang as I shifted through my dresser drawers. I
had all of four maternity outfits (two I didn't care for), which
meant I should probably put that on my list of things to buy today.
Absentmindedly I reached for the phone, turning it on. "Moshi Moshi."
"Are you ready to go yet?" Minako asked, from the background
sounds I could tell she was in a car. I laid my four outfits on the
bed and looked back and forth between them as Minako said something
to Rei, not even listening to any response I might have. Suddenly
she laughed. "Usagi-chan, Rei-chan says she bets you aren't even
dressed yet! Anyways, we will be there as soon as we pick Ami up."
Luna placed her paw on the sweatpants and long sleeve blue
shirt, giving me a look that said that was her opinion on the
subject. "No, I don't think so," I mumbled to my guardian cat,
but Minako heard me.
"What?" Minako asked, her voice clearly confused.
Shooing Luna away, I turned back to my dresser for a pair
of socks. "I didn't mean you, Minako-chan. I was talking to Luna.
I'll be ready by the time you get here."
"Okay, see you in five! Ja!" Before I could get a word in
edgewise, the bubbly sound of Minako's voice faded and the line
went dead. Shrugging I turned the phone off and set it down.
"They are on their way, then?" Luna asked, stretching across
the bed lazily.
"Hai," I answered, picking up the overalls and shirt. "You
know, Luna," I pointed out before closing the bathroom door. "You
are getting lazy; staying in bed until ten o'clock. The shame," I
teased, shutting the door before she could realize what I said and
retort back. The sound of her mumbling to herself died when I
flipped the radio on and began dressing.
After applying a little makeup and fixing my hair, I went
into the living room where all of the inner Senshi were waiting.
They followed me into the kitchen and either sat or stood around
the table as I ate my cheeseburger. I felt guilty, but by the time
I had ate half of the burger, I was full. When I put the plate on
the sink, Mamo-chan turned to me with a knowing smile on his face.
"I'm supposing the pickles and ice cream ruined your appetite?"
"Pickles and ice cream?!" Rei exclaimed before I could even
think of answering Mamo-chan. A look of shock and disgust crossed
her features. "That's just gross."
I shrugged, standing up and getting my jacket. "Whatever
floats your boat. I wanted it, and since I'm pregnant and have
an excuse - it's what I ate."
"That don't make it any less gross," Rei quipped, shaking
her head at me. She looked to Ami who had said nothing up to this
point. "Is that healthy?"
The petite girl shook her head, smiling at all of us like we
were loonies on the loose. "For a pregnant woman craving can make
you want just about any food and any given time, and it doesn't
matter their order." She continued on like she was teaching a
class. "I've heard of women eating the bark of a tree, the foam
from beer; any number of odd things as well as foods."
Every eye turned to me, Makoto looking the most thoughtful.
"You start knawing on a tree and you'll walk home," she predicted,
trying not to let a smile crack through the seriousness on her
face. The rest of us busted out laughing until she joined us.
@------
"OOOOOH!!!" I'm sure that my squeal made everyone in the
consignment shop turn my direction. You can imagine how much I
cared. Minako came running over first followed by everyone else.
At the blank stares and giggling, I pulled up my prize possession.
"Look!" I exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. All afternoon we
had been oohing and ahhing over this and that, but I hadn't bought
much in the way of baby items. This I wasn't going to think twice
about.
"Oh my gosh!" Minako exclaimed, grabbing the bib out of my
hands and looking it over as if she thought she were imagining it.
"This is sooo cute!"
It was a full size bib, not one of the small ones and the
colors were simple: black and white. So why was I - as well as
everyone else - having a fit? Well, it could have something to
do with the little anime style Tuxedo Kamen drawn on it, and the
words 'Drool Worthy' written above.
"You just have to buy this," Makoto told me, handing the
bib back to me. "That is just too cute, and I'm sure Mamoru-san
will get a kick out of it." I nodded, giggling to myself as the
prospect of his face when I showed it to him.
I paid for the two Precious Moments© bottles I had found,
the Tuxedo Kamen bib and the tiny pink socks. The five of us left
the store, heading towards the car when the first drop of rain fell.
I looked up, wondering if I had just imagined it. Another drop
followed, this time Ami remarking that she had felt it also.
By the time we were all packed into Makoto's car again,
the rain began heavily. Glancing at my watch, I looked up at
the sky. "Well, I guess we should just call it a day. Besides,
I still have a little over a month to shop for other things."
For reasons I had yet to discover, my best friends look
hesitant at taking me home. It could have been my imagination,
of course. I've been known to have a few wild ideas in my time.
But Makoto only confirmed the suspicion when she pulled up to
the video store. "I'm going to go in and grab a movie and some
popcorn, and we can camp out at my place." Now, wouldn't you have
the feeling that you were being kept away from home?
"We can take it to my place..." I suggested softly.
"No! I mean," Rei blanched, scratching the back of her neck
nervously. "Eh, well. You bought all of this stuff.."
I raised my left eyebrow, watching her run through her
thoughts; trying to come up with a believable excuse. At this
point I don't think I'd believe a word she said. She must have
realized it, too, because she sat back in the seat, her lips sewn
shut.
Next Ami took a stab at it. "Usagi-chan, it's not healthy
for you to be stuck in the house all day." Her voice sounded sincere,
honest even. Except for one little fact:
"Ami-chan, I work four days a week; have a school tutor I go
to five days a week and still manage to fit in time for us to go
out every Sunday. Not counting taking Shingo places. I hardly think
I'm stuck in the house."
I could see her method of madness deflate before my very
eyes. She sat back also, her and Rei soaking in their defeat.
Minako sat forward from her position in between Rei and Ami and
started to say something when Rei reached up, holding her hand
over the Senshi of Love's mouth and shaking her head vigorously.
Whatever their reasons, that was probably a smart move.
Makoto got back in the car, looking back at the fallen Senshi
in the back of the car, then at me. "We'll just go to your place then,
if that is what you want."
I glanced in the backseat at the stunned faces of Rei, Ami and
Minako. Makoto, try as she might, was looking cornered. From the
things Shingo had said this morning, and then everyone's strange
behavior; there was only one thing to say. "That is exactly what
I want."
@------
I walked into the apartment lobby. Well, more or less. It
seemed to me that I didn't walk as much as I wobbled. I'm sure I
looked like a penguin as I balanced myself and the bag in my hand
and pushed the elevator button. I pushed my bangs off my forehead,
inhaling deeply. Minako stood beside me, a look of deep thought on
her face. "Doushite no, Usagi-chan?"
I smiled, walking into the elevator with my friends and
pushed the button that would take us to the twelfth floor. "I
just feel like I've been pregnant forever," I admitted. "And yet,
I'm scared. Ami's mom said that I'm officially in my final trimester
now. I can't wait to hold Chibi-Usa, to finally lay my eyes on my
daughter. But then I'm scared of giving birth, scared of a hundred
different things. But," I said, throwing a smile at my worried
looking friends to reassure them, as well as myself. "I know it
will all be okay."
The elevator stopped, the double doors sliding open to reveal
the long hallway beyond. I hobbled out, wishing my back wouldn't hurt.
Maybe I should have stayed in gymnastics when I was young, and doing
these near backbends to stay up straight wouldn't be so hard now.
Rei came up beside me, taking the bag from my hand. "Sure it'll be
okay. We're all here, we'll help. And you have Mamoru-san at your
beck and call. Why is it, all the good ones are taken?" she asked,
changing the subject so fast that I didn't have time to think about
the fact that she was trying to cheer me up.
I hardly listened to them discuss back and forth about how
all good men were married or taken in some way and the only ones
left weren't worth their time. The conversation kept up as we
entered my apartment and shed our shoes and jackets at the door.
The living room was quiet and after peeping in, no one was in the
kitchen either. I threw a puzzled look at my friends, all of whom
looked entirely too innocent.
Mamo-chan, Shingo and Luna weren't in my bedroom or in Shingo's.
The only other place I hadn't looked was small third bedroom that
Mamo-chan used as a sort of study. My five friends followed me, each
with mile wide grins. Determinedly I put my hand on the door knob,
thinking I would surprise them all by swinging the door open instead
of calling for Mamo-chan first.
But instead the surprise was on me.
My eyes wandered from one area of the room to the next in
bewilderment. It was only three days before I had been in here
and nothing was amiss. Mamo-chan's overly crowded desk had sat
in the middle of rows of storage boxes, books, unused furniture
and the like. But what I saw before me brought tears to my eyes,
and made my heart jump to my throat.
Mamo-chan stopped midway down the ladder he stood on, putting
up the finishing touches on the border, to see my reaction. In front
of the large double windows that nearly covered one entire wall was
a beautiful white crib; complete with crib liner, sheets and stuffed
animals. A white rocker to match was beside the crib, one of the
quilts my grandmother made draped over the back. The carpet that
had once been a dull grey, had been replaced with a soft beige
that - along with the new pale pink wallpaper - made the room
appear bright and cheerful.
And bunnies! Different sizes and colors were everywhere from
the border on the walls to the stuffed animals in the crib. A squeal
of delight rose in my throat as I walked slowly around the room,
barely brushing my finger tips over the diaper changing table that
matched the rocker and crib to the shelves that aligned the wall
and then to the matching dresser. "How...? When..?" I managed, so
happy I wanted to sit in the rocker and cry.
Shingo stood at the bottom of the ladder Mamo-chan was on,
grinning from ear to ear. In his excitement he tripped as he ran
over to hug my leg. "Surprise Mama!" he gushed, big blue eyes
staring up at me in joy. "Do you like it? We all worked very hard!"
Like it? No, I loved it! And even though I still couldn't
find my voice to say this, everyone seemed to know from my
expression how delighted I was. Makoto leaned against the wall,
her eyes dancing merrily as I sat down in the rocker. "And to
think I had to rent a video just so I could call Mamoru-san and
warn him we were headed back."
Rei, Ami and Minako gave her a look of reprimand, for it
was obvious they had no idea she had gotten a hold of Mamo-chan
while they were in the car trying to convince me to go somewhere
besides home. My love stepped off the ladder and swept Shingo up
into his arms so that he giggled. "Motoki and I took everything
that was in here to a storage building and put down new carpet
while you were at work," Mamo-chan explained to answer my earlier
question. "Then while Motoki and I went and got the furniture and
put it together, the girls went and bought everything else we needed.
I still have a couple of things to do, like finish putting up the
border. But I knew you'd see it today because someone," here he
tickled Shingo, causing his beautiful laughter to carry through
the room like music. "Came in here and seen everything. And I know
a secret just kills a six year old."
I felt the tears I had been fighting overflow my eyes,
leaving salty trails down my face. But they were warm tears of
joy that I didn't mind showing to everyone in the room. I truly
felt a sense of belonging deep in my soul, a sense of love and
friendship floated in the air all around me. But as always, when
I became too comfortable with the way my life was now - something
would nag at me. So softly that if I weren't always paying it close
attention, I wouldn't hear it at all. "Remember...." the voice echoed
through my thoughts, playing havoc with the peace that I reached for
daily. The calmness that I yearned for with my entire soul, but was
always just beyond my grasping finger tips. "See the blood... taste
the bitterness of death...."
"Usako?"
I blinked, pushing back the voice that seemed to get louder
the longer I listened to it. Mamo-chan hovered over me, a worried
glint in his eyes. I tried to smile, but I'm sure the movement my
lips made didn't reach my eyes. "I've been calling your name
repeatedly, what are you thinking about?"
"Nothing," I lied, forcing myself to think happy thoughts
so that my eyes would twinkle with my laughter. "I'm just so happy
about all of this! I can't believe you all done this without me
even suspecting." I looked past Mamo-chan, realizing for the first
time that we were alone in the room.
The blank expression of confusion on my face must have shone
just as clearly as looking through a window pane. Mamo-chan said
nothing, although it seemed on the tip of his tongue to continue
asking questions about my prolonged silence. He took my hand,
helping me to my feet before placing his lips softly on my
forehead.
"Hurry Mama, Papa!" Shingo gasped, coming to a screeching
halt in the bedroom door way and grasping the door frame for balance.
"Everyone is waiting to start the movie!"
We watched my younger brother take off down the hallway again,
and Mamo-chan stared after him with a look of utter disbelief on his
face. "Did he just call me...?"
"Papa," I laughed, this time feeling real joy travel through
my veins. "He asked me this morning if you could be his Papa too. I
didn't think you would mind." When Mamo-chan didn't answer, I looked
up at him to see his sensuous lips curve into a smile. I reached up
and kissed his jaw, loving the way his arm automatically encircled
my waist. Determinedly I shoved away my thoughts of death and
damnation.
I would regret ignoring these warnings.
@------
That night sleep stayed beyond my grasping finger tips. I
moved, pushing the covers off and then pulling them back up. I
tossed, turned, sweated and chilled. No matter which way I moved,
nothing made me comfortable. Chibi-Usa kicked wildly, sometimes so
painful that I gasped. Several times I resisted the urge to get up
so that Mamo-chan could claim the sleep that eluded me.
The small digits on the clock beside our bed read 11:59 p.m.
when I finally could take it no more and got up. My mother always
gave me a warm glass of milk to help me sleep, and with these
thoughts in my head I quietly stole out of the bedroom. But
instead of going to the kitchen, I walked thoughtlessly towards
Shingo's bedroom. My mind was strangly blank as I found myself at
his door. Scarier still, that I don't remember anything at all,
as if thinking weren't involved. Something pulled me towards his
room, something I couldn't feel, but knew all the same. Something
evil.
I turned the knob, trying to push open the door. It wouldn't
budge. I heard nothing but the sound of my frantically beating
heart. Oh Lord, what was wrong? "Shingo?" I called, putting all
my strength into my efforts to open the door. "Shingo?!" In the
back of my thoughts I heard the grandfather clock in the living
room as it tolled the hour of midnight; the witching hour.
I pushed harder, digging my heels into the floor of the
hallway. A cold mist rose up from the crack under the door,
sending goose bumps up and down my legs. The door handle turned
colder, freezing my hands as I continued to push on the door.
"SHINGO?!" Ice formed in the groves of the wood, my panting
breath visible. I was freezing. My lungs contracting sent pain
through my entire body. Still I pushed on, wondering where
Mamo-chan was. Scared of what was happening.
"SHINGO! ANSWER ME!" I screamed. Still silence. I began
to sob, fearing the tears would freeze before dropping off my
chin - that's how cold I felt.
Without warning the door threw open, causing me to fall
sharply on my stomach. Pain shot through my body, but the fear
I felt seemed worse than the physical pain. I gritted my teeth,
turning over on my back and looking around the room. Under any
other circumstances the ice hanging poetically off every surface
would have been beautiful. In this case, it terrified me.
Shingo was nowhere in sight. Pain continued through out my
body, and a warm liquid spilled down my legs, making my pajama
pants cling desperately to me like a second skin. Shaking from
the cold and terror, I felt of my leg.
Warm... sticky warm.
Blood.
The baby.
"MAMO-CHAN!!!"
--End Chapter 11.
BUWHAHAHAHAHA!! Okay, so now that I feel better... *coughs up lung
or two*
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Can I put it any clearer than that?
For those of you reading on fanfiction.net, for reasons I don't understand
when I upload a chapter my author's notes always get hacked off... gomen!
The reason for the long break between updates was a wedding that I was
coordinating (that went great ^_^!) and the fact that not many chapters
can be written between the wailing scream of four 6-year olds 24/7. But
now that life is somewhat settled again, I'm back to normal chapter a week.
Now, I hope all of this gets posted on FF.net. Either way, thankies
thankies and more thankies to everyone who reads and reviews!! *HUGS*
You all are so great to help me finish a chapter when I get writer's
block :)
*HUGS* to my editor, Meara The Wonderful ;)
See you all in a week for Chapter 12 - Give and Take
@------
Flee to Destiny
Chapter 11 - Normal... or not
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG
@------
"Breathe, Usako! Come on, you can do it!"
With all the strength I could muster, I gripped Mamo-chan's
hand as hard as I could. I saw the strain on his face to not say
that I was hurting him. Evil thoughts entered my mind as I squeezed
harder. You wanted to share in my pain? I think I can arrange that
for you, bucko!
The doctor at the foot of the bed popped up over the sheets
so quickly, and with such a stupid smile on her face, that she
reminded me of a jack-in-the box. "You're doing great, Usagi!"
she beamed at me. "Just a few more pushes and we'll have all of
them out!"
It could have been the pain killers, but did I just hear
her say *all* of them? "ALL?!" I screamed. Beside me Mamo-chan
was saying something about broken fingers, but in light of the
doctor's comment I ignored him.
"Oh yes," she replied, nodding her head back and forth.
Vaguely her lack of control of her bobbing head reminded me of
that jack-in-the-box again. "There's four. Quadruplets!"
"WHAT?!"
"AHAHAHAHA!" Mamo-chan screamed. I glared over at him when
I realized that he wasn't screaming about the number of babies -
but rather at his hand. It resembled something off a cartoon the
way it was bright red and about four times its normal size.
"PUSH!" Dr. Mizuno ordered.
"Usako, you're kind of hurting me here..." Mamo-chan
practically screamed.
"Yeah, come on Usagi - PUSH!" Suddenly I was surrounded by
all the Senshi and the lunar cats in cheerleading uniforms, shaking
pom poms in my face. Artemis (wearing a bright pink skirt and halter
top) was leading the group in cheer. "P-U-S-H! What does it spell?
Push! Push Usagi, push!" was the words they all cried at once,
followed by waving the pom poms around as they jumped.
"Here comes number three!" Dr. Mizuno yelled from the foot
of the bed. "Keep pushing!"
"P-U..!"
"Usako, you're killing me here.."
"-S-H!"
"Come on Usagi-san, here comes number four!"
"What does it spell?!"
"Usako...."
"PUSH, Usagi! Push!"
"AHHHH!" I sat up in the bed, sweat dripping from my face and
hair. My breathing was labored as I opened my mouth and sucked in air.
My eyes snapped open, my hands reaching to pull my night shirt up to
be sure I was still pregnant. Never in my life was I so happy to see
my rounded stomach. I breathed a sigh of relief, falling back on my
pillows and allowing myself to relax, if only for a moment.
The bedroom door flung open along about that time, Mamo-chan
running in--followed by Shingo and Luna. "Usako? Are you okay!?"
My love seemed terribly confused for a moment when all he saw was
me lying on our bed. He looked me over again before scratching his
head. "But... I heard you scream..."
I nodded my head, finally able to calm my racing heart down
to an even pace. Mamo-chan sat beside me on the bed, wiping off a
drop of sweat that was running dangerously close to my left eye as
I began my explanation. "I just had the weirdest dream..." I began,
feeling silly for having woken up screaming and scaring everyone to
death as a result.
"It's perfectly normal for pregnant woman to have strange
dreams," Luna stated in her standard 'I know everything' tone. She
lay down on the foot of the bed, still looking at me out of the
corner of her eye as she began washing her face. "If you want to
try and get some more sleep, I'll stay in here with you."
While the idea of going back to sleep was an appealing one,
the thought of seeing Artemis in a pink cheerleading outfit again
did not. Gratefully I smiled at my guardian cat, but shook my head.
"That's okay, Luna. I'd rather stay awake than face the Senshi
cheering "Push, Usagi! Push!" in my dreams."
Despite the worried look on my beloved's face, he cracked
up laughing at the mental image he received from my words. I glared
at him and pushed the covers aside. "I think a hot shower is in the
works."
"And then we have a surprise for you!" Shingo said excitedly.
I could tell from the moment he ran in the room he was sitting on a
secret so large there was no way he'd make it through the next ten
minutes without saying something. Mamo-chan immediately put his
hand over Shingo's mouth, casting a sly glance my way as he shoved
my brother out of the room and shut the door.
"Chiba Mamoru, what are you up to?" I asked him, grinning
from ear to ear despite myself.
"Nothing," he mumbled, grinning like a Cheshire cat at me.
He came over to the bed and raised my shirt again - placing his
lips on my stomach. "Good morning," he whispered. "How's Papa's
baby girl this morning?" In response to his question the baby
kicked. "She hears me," he told me for the umpteenth time. Ever
since Dr. Mizuno told us that the baby could hear everything we
said now, he made it a point to talk to my stomach - ten or twenty
times a day. As he cooed and talked to his daughter, she kicked my
stomach again - hard.
"Yeah, she hears you alright," I pointed out, placing his
hand where she continued to happily kick. As I stood up, she jabbed
her foot in my stomach again. "I swear, she's going to be a kick
boxer when she grows up. Not even born yet and already giving me
a hard time."
"Only two more months and she'll be kicking the air instead
of you," he assured me, his eyes following me as I grabbed a towel
from the linen closet.
I stopped, casting a sideways glace at Mamo-chan. He was
staring at me, his eyes half closed. I felt my face warm as a blush
crept up my neck to shade my cheeks. He smiled as he noticed my
reaction, his face lighting up. Slowly he walked up behind me,
wrapping his arms around my waist and rubbing my stomach. "Have
I told you how much I love you lately?" he whispered in my ear,
his warm breath on my neck.
"Not today," I answered, trying to keep a straight face
and failing completely. He always knew what to do, what to say
to make me weak at the knees. I settled back against his chest;
knowing very well I wouldn't have it any other way.
"I tell you what," his deep voice continued as he stepped
away from me and twisted the lock on the bedroom door. When he
turned again his gaze locked with mine. I could have drowned in
their depths for the rest of eternity. "How about I run you a
nice hot bubble bath, give you a foot massage and wash your hair..."
"Ooooh," I sighed. "A foot massage and my hair washed?
What have I done to get such special treatment?"
A mock pained expression crossed Mamo-chan's face and he
placed his hands over his heart. "You question my motives, Usako?
Can I not just do it out of the love I have for you? Because I
feel so badly that I can't share in your experiences?" For a
moment he almost had me believing he was upset. Almost. I stared
at him until he broke. "Or can I not try and find a way to keep
you occupied and out of the rest of the apartment long enough for
Shingo to forget what he knows?"
I couldn't help laughing as I rolled my eyes at him. But
who was I to turn down an offer like that? My center of gravity
had long since left me, so that most things that required bending
over or moving a certain way became more like a challenge from a
game show. I had never thought of myself as clumsy, but walking
in a straight line for me was about as hard as it was for a drunken
man. And washing my long mass of hair was an obstacle that had left
me in tears more than once just this week alone. Sometimes I felt
so stupid for loosing it like I did. I wasn't the only woman on
Earth to have a baby, yet I felt so very alone. No matter what
Mamo-chan did to be a part of my pregnancy--there was no way
for him to understand what I felt.
"The water is ready, Usako," my beloved announced from the
bathroom door. He ran his fingers through his hair, a lock of his
rich, ebony hair falling back over his forehead again. He smiled
at me, his blue eyes dancing with love. For the moment I found I
could push aside all the unwanted thoughts clouding my mind. I
hoped they didn't return this time.
@------
Mamo-chan (bless his heart, I think he had no idea what he
was getting into) had not only washed my hair and gave me a
wonderful foot massage -- but had blow dried my hair and brushed
it until it gleamed. So after taking a long, relaxing scented
bubble bath - as well as all the perks - the dark thoughts of
earlier this morning did seem to subside. I hummed to myself as
I pulled my hair up into a pony tail rather than my normal two
buns and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. My
little one was a lot like Shingo and I, it appeared. She got
rather hostile if I didn't eat first thing in the morning.
As I passed Shingo, forever sitting in the living room
floor with the Nintendo controller in his hand, I kissed his
cheek and bid him good morning. With his usual "Morning, Mama,"
he went back to the game like he had never been interrupted.
With a slight smile of amusement, I went into the kitchen where
Mamo-chan had placed a stack of blue berry pancakes on the table.
"Feeling better?" he asked, moving to kiss my lips and
trying to not spill dish water in the floor at the same time.
He failed, mind you, cursing under his breath as he grabbed
for the dish towel to clean it up.
"Immensely," I replied, giggling at the sight of a six
foot two man on his knees cleaning up spilled dishwater. Not
only that, but the view from here was great also. Geesh, what
a cute butt he has. Shaking my head, I tried to focus on something
else. "Mamo-chan? Do you think it's healthy for Shingo to spend
so much time on that game?"
"Huh?" my beloved asked, looking through the doorway and
into the living room. "Oh, sure. If anything it helps his hand-
eye coordination." I gave him a puzzled look that said I didn't
really believe him. But he ignored it and went back to washing
dishes. "When I was his age I would have loved to sit around all
day playing those games."
"When I was his age I was out having fun with my friends..."
I noted, again worrying about Shingo's solitude. He hadn't seem to
make any friends here, like he had back home. "Mom was always busy
taking him to skating practice, soccer practice, a birthday party
- something."
"I'm sure he just needs time to make new friends. This has
all been hard on him, but he's a good kid. He'll make friends soon
enough." I nodded thoughtfully, trying to hide the worry from
Mamo-chan. If he noticed my distraction, he said nothing.
I ate in silence, the sound of Mamo-chan running water and
clanking dishes the only thing that invaded my thoughts. Chibi-Usa
- as her father had appointed her - stopped kicking my stomach
when I began eating. But it wasn't too long that I figured she
didn't care for the food. I looked at the plate of blueberry
pancakes - usually my favorite - and felt like I was going to
get sick. A part of me still wanted them, the other part wanted
something a little more difficult to come by.
"What's wrong?" Mamo-chan asked, looking at the plate of
pancakes that I had only picked out. "I thought they were your
favorite?"
"Eh, nothing," I mumbled. But it seemed my little angel
was persistent this morning. I had had bad craving before, but
this was insane! And I knew there wasn't a place in town that
sold what I wanted this early in the morning. Mentally I scolded
my baby, trying to get her to calm her cravings. It didn't work.
Mamo-chan took the plate, looking at me with curiosity.
"Usako, if you are craving something just tell me and I'll make
it, or go get it or something..." I couldn't help but smile at
the way he stumbled over his words. Never did I think a man was
so devoted to a pregnant woman's every whim the way Mamo-chan
was. Sometimes, despite everything, I felt so lucky.
I knew that no matter how much I fought him, he would
eventually make me tell him what it was I wanted. I shook my
head, giving up before he even had to coax it out of me. "Well,
I really would like a double cheese burger with mustard and
pickles only. And some onion rings would be nice..." I blurted
out as fast as I could, twisting a piece of my hair between my
fingers and trying to smile my best smile at him.
"Double cheese burger..." he repeated softly, realization
dawning on him. Oh yeah, before nine o'clock in the morning that
would be rather hard to find. I caught just a hint of weariness
in his eyes before he hid them and grabbed the keys off the
counter. It might have had something to do with the chocolate
chip cookie dough ice cream I wanted at midnight, but no one
can be too sure. "Anything else, my love?" he beamed at me.
"Extra pickles. Not four instead of three, either. I mean,
lots of pickles," I emphasized, mentally licking my lips. "Oh,
and some apple juice."
Mamo-chan blanched slightly, still holding the car keys
in mid-air. I saw him mouth 'apple juice' before smiling and
heading towards the door. He slipped his shoes on, called back
that he would return shortly, and left.
Still envisioning double cheeseburgers and onion rings in
my head, I patted my stomach and walked into the living room.
"You better be glad that your daddy likes to venture out for
stuff so much," I said lightly to my daughter, giggling to
myself. Hopefully he would be so willing to get up during
the night and feed Chibi-Usa when she was born.
I sat down on the sofa behind Shingo, watching the
speeding car go through the city on the screen. Suddenly
it stopped, and Shingo turned around to me, a confused
expression on his young face. I watched as he stood up
unsurely and came over and sat on the couch beside me.
I knew that something serious was bothering him just from
the way he studied me instead of talking. I said nothing,
wanting to let him decide how to say what he wanted. "Mama,"
he finally began, twisting his hands in front of him. "Can
we have a discussion?" he asked, his pronunciation of
'discussion' sounding a bit off.
I masked my worry and smiled light heartedly at him.
"Sure we can, sweetie. What do you want to talk about?" He
looked so confused about something, and also anxious to find
out the answers to questions that must have been burning in
his small mind for quite some time. I sat back against the
sofa, waiting with temptation for what he would say. But I
can guarantee you it wasn't what I was expecting.
"Why do you and Mamoru talk to your stomach? Can it
hear you?"
Honestly, it took a lot out of me to not burst out
laughing. Instead I narrowed it down to a giggle that I
tried to disguise as a cough. "Um, well," I began, searching
for the words to make a six year old understand. "Do you
remember when I told you that I was going to have a baby?
And that the baby was in my tummy?" He nodded his head
eagerly, gazing at me with huge blue eyes. "Well, now that
she is old enough she can hear what we say. So that is why
we talk to her."
He looked at me for a long moment as if trying to see
if I was lying or not. Satisfied that I wasn't, he moved
slightly closer on the couch. "So she can hear what we are
saying now?" he questioned, his eye brow still furrowed incredulity.
"Really?"
"You can also feel her; wanna try?" Eagerly he nodded
his head and I reached out to take his hand in mine. He let
me guide his hand unsurely towards my stomach where I placed
it in the spot Chibi-Usa liked to kick most often. The silence
stretched on for a good three minutes, Shingo saying nothing
and me mentally urging Chibi-Usa (for once) to kick. I seen
Shingo begin to look doubtfully at me, and I exhaled deeply.
"Young lady, you kick me almost twenty-four hours a day. Don't
tell me you decided to go to sleep now!" I accused her, Shingo
looking at me like I was rambling like a mad person.
My words must have woken her up, or maybe for once she
decided to listen. At any rate, I felt her kick just slightly
to the left of where Shingo's hand was placed. I moved his palm
quickly to the spot and seen his eyes grow. He snatched his hand
back, looking from his hand, to my stomach and to me. "That was
her?" he finally asked, looking at me with newfound appreciation.
I nodded my head, smiling at him. With weighted movements, he
leaned his head towards my stomach and earnestly said: "Hi baby.
I'm Shingo and I'm gonna be a good big brother for you."
I couldn't hold back the tears that filled my eyes if I
wanted to. It was so sweet - so precious seeing how seriously
he was talking. He straightened up, still looking distraught
about something. "Is Mamoru her Papa?" he finally asked.
I nodded my head, holding my breath as I waited for his
reaction to this. He looked to be in deep thought for a moment
before looking back at me. He stood up, going back to the game
and I let my breath out. I had no more begun to let my mind
wonder over any other questions he might have when he paused
the game again. "Can Mamoru be my Papa, too?" he asked, looking
at me over his shoulder. His eyes were so sad, so hungry for
need and the sense of belonging.
"If that is what you want, Shingo," I responded as seriously,
albeit kindly, as I could. It was so important for Mamoru to have a
family, and Shingo's acceptance of him had meant a great deal. I'm
sure this would mean even more. Shingo's face lit up with a smile
and he turned the game back on, the sounds of the racing cars soon
filling the living room.
I sat for a few more minutes watching Shingo play the game
when I heard a thumbing noise, followed by a muffled voice. I rose
to go to the door when it was pushed open, Mamo-chan coming through,
kicking the door shut with his foot and going into the kitchen. With
a smile on my face, I followed him. As I walked in, I could see he
looked slightly tired--his face had the lightest hint of unshaven
facial hair and his eyes were bloodshot. I watched as he put a half
gallon of ice cream in the freezer, two half gallon pitchers of apple
juice away before I cleared my throat.
He looked up, smiling tiredly as he did so. I felt a pang of
guilt nag at my heart. It was hard for me to find a comfortable way
to sleep anymore, but it hadn't occurred to me that because I shared
a bed with Mamo-chan that I was disturbing him. He hadn't said any
thing about it. Duh, Usagi, I told myself. He wouldn't say a word
to you. Shaking my head lightly I moved the second bag out from in
font of him and started going through it.
"I couldn't find any place that had a double cheeseburger,"
he mumbled. "And Motoki wasn't at work. So I went to the grocery
store and bought some hamburger meat. We needed some anyways.."
his voice faded out as I walked around the table and towards him.
His eyes stayed on me as I wrapped my arms around his neck and
brought his face down to mine.
I felt his arms automatically come around my waist and I
leaned up to kiss him lightly. "Thank you, Mamo-chan. But you
didn't have to go through all of that for me." Before he could
protest and tell me about how he would do anything for me, I
shut him up by pressing my lips to his again - demanding that
he return it.
When we parted, he pressed his forehead to mine. "You know
I'd do..."
"Anything for me," I finished for him, giggling slightly.
"Hai, I know."
Mamo-chan shook his head, his lips curving up so adorably
it should be a crime. "Nu uh; I would do anything for all three
of you." He kissed my nose again before leaving me to fish in the
cabinet for a frying pan.
I sat down at the table, opening the jar of pickles and
digging in. As I watched Mamo-chan make my cheeseburger, my
thoughts keep returning to the ice cream in the freezer. Pickles
forgotten, I opened the ice cream and began eating. Mamo-chan
looked at me out of the corner of his eye without saying a word
he continued cooking, his face a pale shade of green. I tried,
really, but I couldn't keep the smile from my face.
"So what time is the girl's picking you up today?" Blankly
I looked at him over the tub of ice cream in my hands. He turned
to look at me, the spatula still in his hand. "Don't tell me you
forgot you were going shopping with everyone today?" The look on
my face must have said just that, because he busted out laughing.
I looked down at the ice cream, at Mamo-chan and got up. "I
think I'll be getting dressed now." As I left the kitchen, the
sound of Mamo-chan's laughing followed me.
The phone rang as I shifted through my dresser drawers. I
had all of four maternity outfits (two I didn't care for), which
meant I should probably put that on my list of things to buy today.
Absentmindedly I reached for the phone, turning it on. "Moshi Moshi."
"Are you ready to go yet?" Minako asked, from the background
sounds I could tell she was in a car. I laid my four outfits on the
bed and looked back and forth between them as Minako said something
to Rei, not even listening to any response I might have. Suddenly
she laughed. "Usagi-chan, Rei-chan says she bets you aren't even
dressed yet! Anyways, we will be there as soon as we pick Ami up."
Luna placed her paw on the sweatpants and long sleeve blue
shirt, giving me a look that said that was her opinion on the
subject. "No, I don't think so," I mumbled to my guardian cat,
but Minako heard me.
"What?" Minako asked, her voice clearly confused.
Shooing Luna away, I turned back to my dresser for a pair
of socks. "I didn't mean you, Minako-chan. I was talking to Luna.
I'll be ready by the time you get here."
"Okay, see you in five! Ja!" Before I could get a word in
edgewise, the bubbly sound of Minako's voice faded and the line
went dead. Shrugging I turned the phone off and set it down.
"They are on their way, then?" Luna asked, stretching across
the bed lazily.
"Hai," I answered, picking up the overalls and shirt. "You
know, Luna," I pointed out before closing the bathroom door. "You
are getting lazy; staying in bed until ten o'clock. The shame," I
teased, shutting the door before she could realize what I said and
retort back. The sound of her mumbling to herself died when I
flipped the radio on and began dressing.
After applying a little makeup and fixing my hair, I went
into the living room where all of the inner Senshi were waiting.
They followed me into the kitchen and either sat or stood around
the table as I ate my cheeseburger. I felt guilty, but by the time
I had ate half of the burger, I was full. When I put the plate on
the sink, Mamo-chan turned to me with a knowing smile on his face.
"I'm supposing the pickles and ice cream ruined your appetite?"
"Pickles and ice cream?!" Rei exclaimed before I could even
think of answering Mamo-chan. A look of shock and disgust crossed
her features. "That's just gross."
I shrugged, standing up and getting my jacket. "Whatever
floats your boat. I wanted it, and since I'm pregnant and have
an excuse - it's what I ate."
"That don't make it any less gross," Rei quipped, shaking
her head at me. She looked to Ami who had said nothing up to this
point. "Is that healthy?"
The petite girl shook her head, smiling at all of us like we
were loonies on the loose. "For a pregnant woman craving can make
you want just about any food and any given time, and it doesn't
matter their order." She continued on like she was teaching a
class. "I've heard of women eating the bark of a tree, the foam
from beer; any number of odd things as well as foods."
Every eye turned to me, Makoto looking the most thoughtful.
"You start knawing on a tree and you'll walk home," she predicted,
trying not to let a smile crack through the seriousness on her
face. The rest of us busted out laughing until she joined us.
@------
"OOOOOH!!!" I'm sure that my squeal made everyone in the
consignment shop turn my direction. You can imagine how much I
cared. Minako came running over first followed by everyone else.
At the blank stares and giggling, I pulled up my prize possession.
"Look!" I exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. All afternoon we
had been oohing and ahhing over this and that, but I hadn't bought
much in the way of baby items. This I wasn't going to think twice
about.
"Oh my gosh!" Minako exclaimed, grabbing the bib out of my
hands and looking it over as if she thought she were imagining it.
"This is sooo cute!"
It was a full size bib, not one of the small ones and the
colors were simple: black and white. So why was I - as well as
everyone else - having a fit? Well, it could have something to
do with the little anime style Tuxedo Kamen drawn on it, and the
words 'Drool Worthy' written above.
"You just have to buy this," Makoto told me, handing the
bib back to me. "That is just too cute, and I'm sure Mamoru-san
will get a kick out of it." I nodded, giggling to myself as the
prospect of his face when I showed it to him.
I paid for the two Precious Moments© bottles I had found,
the Tuxedo Kamen bib and the tiny pink socks. The five of us left
the store, heading towards the car when the first drop of rain fell.
I looked up, wondering if I had just imagined it. Another drop
followed, this time Ami remarking that she had felt it also.
By the time we were all packed into Makoto's car again,
the rain began heavily. Glancing at my watch, I looked up at
the sky. "Well, I guess we should just call it a day. Besides,
I still have a little over a month to shop for other things."
For reasons I had yet to discover, my best friends look
hesitant at taking me home. It could have been my imagination,
of course. I've been known to have a few wild ideas in my time.
But Makoto only confirmed the suspicion when she pulled up to
the video store. "I'm going to go in and grab a movie and some
popcorn, and we can camp out at my place." Now, wouldn't you have
the feeling that you were being kept away from home?
"We can take it to my place..." I suggested softly.
"No! I mean," Rei blanched, scratching the back of her neck
nervously. "Eh, well. You bought all of this stuff.."
I raised my left eyebrow, watching her run through her
thoughts; trying to come up with a believable excuse. At this
point I don't think I'd believe a word she said. She must have
realized it, too, because she sat back in the seat, her lips sewn
shut.
Next Ami took a stab at it. "Usagi-chan, it's not healthy
for you to be stuck in the house all day." Her voice sounded sincere,
honest even. Except for one little fact:
"Ami-chan, I work four days a week; have a school tutor I go
to five days a week and still manage to fit in time for us to go
out every Sunday. Not counting taking Shingo places. I hardly think
I'm stuck in the house."
I could see her method of madness deflate before my very
eyes. She sat back also, her and Rei soaking in their defeat.
Minako sat forward from her position in between Rei and Ami and
started to say something when Rei reached up, holding her hand
over the Senshi of Love's mouth and shaking her head vigorously.
Whatever their reasons, that was probably a smart move.
Makoto got back in the car, looking back at the fallen Senshi
in the back of the car, then at me. "We'll just go to your place then,
if that is what you want."
I glanced in the backseat at the stunned faces of Rei, Ami and
Minako. Makoto, try as she might, was looking cornered. From the
things Shingo had said this morning, and then everyone's strange
behavior; there was only one thing to say. "That is exactly what
I want."
@------
I walked into the apartment lobby. Well, more or less. It
seemed to me that I didn't walk as much as I wobbled. I'm sure I
looked like a penguin as I balanced myself and the bag in my hand
and pushed the elevator button. I pushed my bangs off my forehead,
inhaling deeply. Minako stood beside me, a look of deep thought on
her face. "Doushite no, Usagi-chan?"
I smiled, walking into the elevator with my friends and
pushed the button that would take us to the twelfth floor. "I
just feel like I've been pregnant forever," I admitted. "And yet,
I'm scared. Ami's mom said that I'm officially in my final trimester
now. I can't wait to hold Chibi-Usa, to finally lay my eyes on my
daughter. But then I'm scared of giving birth, scared of a hundred
different things. But," I said, throwing a smile at my worried
looking friends to reassure them, as well as myself. "I know it
will all be okay."
The elevator stopped, the double doors sliding open to reveal
the long hallway beyond. I hobbled out, wishing my back wouldn't hurt.
Maybe I should have stayed in gymnastics when I was young, and doing
these near backbends to stay up straight wouldn't be so hard now.
Rei came up beside me, taking the bag from my hand. "Sure it'll be
okay. We're all here, we'll help. And you have Mamoru-san at your
beck and call. Why is it, all the good ones are taken?" she asked,
changing the subject so fast that I didn't have time to think about
the fact that she was trying to cheer me up.
I hardly listened to them discuss back and forth about how
all good men were married or taken in some way and the only ones
left weren't worth their time. The conversation kept up as we
entered my apartment and shed our shoes and jackets at the door.
The living room was quiet and after peeping in, no one was in the
kitchen either. I threw a puzzled look at my friends, all of whom
looked entirely too innocent.
Mamo-chan, Shingo and Luna weren't in my bedroom or in Shingo's.
The only other place I hadn't looked was small third bedroom that
Mamo-chan used as a sort of study. My five friends followed me, each
with mile wide grins. Determinedly I put my hand on the door knob,
thinking I would surprise them all by swinging the door open instead
of calling for Mamo-chan first.
But instead the surprise was on me.
My eyes wandered from one area of the room to the next in
bewilderment. It was only three days before I had been in here
and nothing was amiss. Mamo-chan's overly crowded desk had sat
in the middle of rows of storage boxes, books, unused furniture
and the like. But what I saw before me brought tears to my eyes,
and made my heart jump to my throat.
Mamo-chan stopped midway down the ladder he stood on, putting
up the finishing touches on the border, to see my reaction. In front
of the large double windows that nearly covered one entire wall was
a beautiful white crib; complete with crib liner, sheets and stuffed
animals. A white rocker to match was beside the crib, one of the
quilts my grandmother made draped over the back. The carpet that
had once been a dull grey, had been replaced with a soft beige
that - along with the new pale pink wallpaper - made the room
appear bright and cheerful.
And bunnies! Different sizes and colors were everywhere from
the border on the walls to the stuffed animals in the crib. A squeal
of delight rose in my throat as I walked slowly around the room,
barely brushing my finger tips over the diaper changing table that
matched the rocker and crib to the shelves that aligned the wall
and then to the matching dresser. "How...? When..?" I managed, so
happy I wanted to sit in the rocker and cry.
Shingo stood at the bottom of the ladder Mamo-chan was on,
grinning from ear to ear. In his excitement he tripped as he ran
over to hug my leg. "Surprise Mama!" he gushed, big blue eyes
staring up at me in joy. "Do you like it? We all worked very hard!"
Like it? No, I loved it! And even though I still couldn't
find my voice to say this, everyone seemed to know from my
expression how delighted I was. Makoto leaned against the wall,
her eyes dancing merrily as I sat down in the rocker. "And to
think I had to rent a video just so I could call Mamoru-san and
warn him we were headed back."
Rei, Ami and Minako gave her a look of reprimand, for it
was obvious they had no idea she had gotten a hold of Mamo-chan
while they were in the car trying to convince me to go somewhere
besides home. My love stepped off the ladder and swept Shingo up
into his arms so that he giggled. "Motoki and I took everything
that was in here to a storage building and put down new carpet
while you were at work," Mamo-chan explained to answer my earlier
question. "Then while Motoki and I went and got the furniture and
put it together, the girls went and bought everything else we needed.
I still have a couple of things to do, like finish putting up the
border. But I knew you'd see it today because someone," here he
tickled Shingo, causing his beautiful laughter to carry through
the room like music. "Came in here and seen everything. And I know
a secret just kills a six year old."
I felt the tears I had been fighting overflow my eyes,
leaving salty trails down my face. But they were warm tears of
joy that I didn't mind showing to everyone in the room. I truly
felt a sense of belonging deep in my soul, a sense of love and
friendship floated in the air all around me. But as always, when
I became too comfortable with the way my life was now - something
would nag at me. So softly that if I weren't always paying it close
attention, I wouldn't hear it at all. "Remember...." the voice echoed
through my thoughts, playing havoc with the peace that I reached for
daily. The calmness that I yearned for with my entire soul, but was
always just beyond my grasping finger tips. "See the blood... taste
the bitterness of death...."
"Usako?"
I blinked, pushing back the voice that seemed to get louder
the longer I listened to it. Mamo-chan hovered over me, a worried
glint in his eyes. I tried to smile, but I'm sure the movement my
lips made didn't reach my eyes. "I've been calling your name
repeatedly, what are you thinking about?"
"Nothing," I lied, forcing myself to think happy thoughts
so that my eyes would twinkle with my laughter. "I'm just so happy
about all of this! I can't believe you all done this without me
even suspecting." I looked past Mamo-chan, realizing for the first
time that we were alone in the room.
The blank expression of confusion on my face must have shone
just as clearly as looking through a window pane. Mamo-chan said
nothing, although it seemed on the tip of his tongue to continue
asking questions about my prolonged silence. He took my hand,
helping me to my feet before placing his lips softly on my
forehead.
"Hurry Mama, Papa!" Shingo gasped, coming to a screeching
halt in the bedroom door way and grasping the door frame for balance.
"Everyone is waiting to start the movie!"
We watched my younger brother take off down the hallway again,
and Mamo-chan stared after him with a look of utter disbelief on his
face. "Did he just call me...?"
"Papa," I laughed, this time feeling real joy travel through
my veins. "He asked me this morning if you could be his Papa too. I
didn't think you would mind." When Mamo-chan didn't answer, I looked
up at him to see his sensuous lips curve into a smile. I reached up
and kissed his jaw, loving the way his arm automatically encircled
my waist. Determinedly I shoved away my thoughts of death and
damnation.
I would regret ignoring these warnings.
@------
That night sleep stayed beyond my grasping finger tips. I
moved, pushing the covers off and then pulling them back up. I
tossed, turned, sweated and chilled. No matter which way I moved,
nothing made me comfortable. Chibi-Usa kicked wildly, sometimes so
painful that I gasped. Several times I resisted the urge to get up
so that Mamo-chan could claim the sleep that eluded me.
The small digits on the clock beside our bed read 11:59 p.m.
when I finally could take it no more and got up. My mother always
gave me a warm glass of milk to help me sleep, and with these
thoughts in my head I quietly stole out of the bedroom. But
instead of going to the kitchen, I walked thoughtlessly towards
Shingo's bedroom. My mind was strangly blank as I found myself at
his door. Scarier still, that I don't remember anything at all,
as if thinking weren't involved. Something pulled me towards his
room, something I couldn't feel, but knew all the same. Something
evil.
I turned the knob, trying to push open the door. It wouldn't
budge. I heard nothing but the sound of my frantically beating
heart. Oh Lord, what was wrong? "Shingo?" I called, putting all
my strength into my efforts to open the door. "Shingo?!" In the
back of my thoughts I heard the grandfather clock in the living
room as it tolled the hour of midnight; the witching hour.
I pushed harder, digging my heels into the floor of the
hallway. A cold mist rose up from the crack under the door,
sending goose bumps up and down my legs. The door handle turned
colder, freezing my hands as I continued to push on the door.
"SHINGO?!" Ice formed in the groves of the wood, my panting
breath visible. I was freezing. My lungs contracting sent pain
through my entire body. Still I pushed on, wondering where
Mamo-chan was. Scared of what was happening.
"SHINGO! ANSWER ME!" I screamed. Still silence. I began
to sob, fearing the tears would freeze before dropping off my
chin - that's how cold I felt.
Without warning the door threw open, causing me to fall
sharply on my stomach. Pain shot through my body, but the fear
I felt seemed worse than the physical pain. I gritted my teeth,
turning over on my back and looking around the room. Under any
other circumstances the ice hanging poetically off every surface
would have been beautiful. In this case, it terrified me.
Shingo was nowhere in sight. Pain continued through out my
body, and a warm liquid spilled down my legs, making my pajama
pants cling desperately to me like a second skin. Shaking from
the cold and terror, I felt of my leg.
Warm... sticky warm.
Blood.
The baby.
"MAMO-CHAN!!!"
--End Chapter 11.
BUWHAHAHAHAHA!! Okay, so now that I feel better... *coughs up lung
or two*
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Can I put it any clearer than that?
For those of you reading on fanfiction.net, for reasons I don't understand
when I upload a chapter my author's notes always get hacked off... gomen!
The reason for the long break between updates was a wedding that I was
coordinating (that went great ^_^!) and the fact that not many chapters
can be written between the wailing scream of four 6-year olds 24/7. But
now that life is somewhat settled again, I'm back to normal chapter a week.
Now, I hope all of this gets posted on FF.net. Either way, thankies
thankies and more thankies to everyone who reads and reviews!! *HUGS*
You all are so great to help me finish a chapter when I get writer's
block :)
*HUGS* to my editor, Meara The Wonderful ;)
See you all in a week for Chapter 12 - Give and Take