The Plane

This is the second dialog done by Joanna, and we look forward to more in the future!



*The G-boys and their women, peering out of the open doors of their rented airplane*

Wufei: Are you sure about this?

Dou: Have I ever steered you wrong?!

Wufei: I wish you wouldn't ask me that!!

Ash: Wu-kitty Dear, there is a big difference between Dou trying to take you to one of those "clubs" he goes to, and asking you to jump out of a plane for him.

Wufei: Some how, I'm not convinced!!

Dou: The worst that can happen is that your parachute won't open!!

Heather: Are you sure that's the WORST that can happen?

*There is a long moment of silence of uncomfortable silence, during which they all back away form the doors. In an obvious attempt to break the silence, Heero proclaims…*

Heero: I wanna play Parcheesi!!

Ash: If you think you can find a game board on the plane, by all means, go ahead!!

*Heero stomps off to find the game board, only to return a few moments later grumbling about the "lack of Parcheesi in airplanes today".*

Heero: Every plane should have Parcheesi!!

*Seeing Heero's trademark "Death Glare", Heather felt it was time to save the day*

Heather: Ohhh… look!! Cows!!

Ash: I think I speak for everyone when I say no one was expecting that!!

*Trowa peered into the passenger area from his position in the cockpit*

Trowa: I was.

*Quatre enters, wearing a pink stewardess apron, pushing the drink cart*

Quatre: Coke, or Pepsi?

Heather: That's some high-class liquidation you have there, Quatre. I've always wanted to take the Pepsi Challenge!!

Wufei: Isn't that something? I've always wanted to be a drummer!!

Quatre: Don't tell that to Ash!!

Wufei: *Looking baffled, and a little disappointed* You don't think she would support me?

Quatre: Oh, she would support ya all right! She would just be very… how to put this delicately… involved in your music. You would never get any sleep.

Wufei: Yeah, I guess Ash would keep me up all night to give me her lessons!

Quatre: Actually Man, she would just be playing with your sticks!

Heero: Where is Ash?

*All look around in confusion*

***MEANWHILE IN THE COCKPIT***

*Joanna plays with her yoyo while Trowa paces*

Joanna: Relax, Trowa! This is supposed to be fun!

Trowa: I realize that, but I keep having a nagging feeling that anything planed by Dou can only lead to pain, suffering, and bunnies.

Joanna: Umm… hahaha… bunnies?

Trowa: Dou had a bunny when he was young that he was very… attached to, shall we say? One day, his older cousin came over while Dou was in school, and when he came home, he found that his cousin had flushed Mr. Sparkles, the bunny, down the toilet.

Joanna: Mr. Sparkles?!? That is defiantly going on my list of things Dou shouldn't say. And… you… talked!!

Trowa: Of course I talk.

Joanna: But you are the "Silent One With Gravity Defying Hair"! "Silent Ones" don't talk!

Trowa: Have you been reading our Internet Bios again?

Joanna: I plead the fifth!

Trowa: You are such a bad liar!

Joanna: And my hair is worse that yours!

Towa: Well, we all can't have perfect hair like mine!

Joanna: I think I like you better when you aren't talking!

Trowa: *Awkwardly* You yoyo good.

Heather: *Whines pitifully from her window seat* Trowa, were almost to our "destination", oh, I sound so sophisticated, so I was wondering if you could be a dear and get my suitcase.

Joanna: She has a suitcase?!

Trowa: She is going to paint her nails as we plunge to the ground, and quite possibly, our deaths. That way, visitors to her funeral will admire that loveliness of her fingers.

Joanna: Okay! From now on, you don't get to talk to people!

*Together, they leave the cockpit to handle Heather's suitcase situation*

Heather: *Staring intently out the window* There almost hypnotic, aren't they?

*Towa hands the suitcase to Joanna, and goes over to Heather, placing his hand on her shoulder, and stares out the window as well*

Joanna: *Collapses under the weight of the suitcase, so that all but her legs are hidden* Um… a little help? *Gasping for breath*

Trowa: In a minute! The cows are flying!!

*A cow zooms by the window*

Joanna: So, you would rather watch multi-talented bovine than help your commanding officer?!

Ash: *Appearing from Nowhere for no apparent reason other than because she can, and she has "poppage"* When you put it that way, doing you a favor sound incredibly tempting!

Trowa: I can speak for my self! *In a voice dripping with sarcasm, tee-hee, Trowa has a drippy voice* But you just say it sooooo… much better!

Ash: *Panicky * Who's driving the plane?

Joanna: *Being the ditzy blonde she is* Like, the Autopilot! Duh, Ash, get with the program!

Ash: *Still panicky* Autopilot isn't a person!!

Dou: That's not what he said last night!

Ash: Autopilot isn't a person!!

*If you have known Dou personally, you would understand*

Joanna: The cows are higher that we are!

Quatre: According to my calculations, and the fact that the Earth, as truly beautiful as it is, is a whole lot closer to our plane than it should be, I'd say that we are going to crash.

*Only Quatre could get away with saying "According to my calculations" in a life or death situation*

Joanna: *Violently messing up Trowa's "all to perfect" hair* WHY DIDN'Y YOU TELL ME I WAS FLYING THE PLANE?!?!

Trowa: I was too busy being copilot. Besides, I was doing the Universe a good deed.

Joanna: Which was?!

Trowa: Looking good in my copilot's uniform!

Quatre: We are still crashing!

*Once again, the G-boys and their women are peering out the doors of their rented plane*

Ash: *Playing Rock/Paper/Scissors with Heather to see who will be the first to jump* Best two out of three!

Wufei: WEAKLINGS!

Ash: I don't see you volunteering!

Wufei: That's because you look with your eyes and not your heart.

Quatre: This is ludicrous! Ash, Wufei wants to be a drummer!

Ahs: *Lunges at Wufei in her extreme happiness* Really, Wu-kitty? You would be a drummer… for me?! *Bats her eyelashes*

*Wufei jumps out of the airplane recklessly like there is no tomorrow, like he is narrowly escaping the jaws of death, like he has just gotten his first taste of Ash's obsessive love of hott drummers*

Ash: I'm coming my little drummer boy! *Flings herself from the falling plane after him*

Heather: Ash! Wufei! You might want your parachutes!! *Tumbles onto a cow's back, and floats gracefully down to rescue the screaming Chinese boy, and the still swooning ¼ Japanese girl from a certain death that awaits them in the from of the rapidly approaching ground*

Heero: Screw this!! I NEED PARCHEESI!!! *Cannonballs from the plane*

Joanna: I shall be unique! Only I, the pilot, shall "abandon ship" without saying a single word. *Steps into midair, and drops through cloud after cloud*

Trowa: I guess this is it, Dou, are you ready?

Dou: I've imagined this moment many times, Trowa, but you were never here… in uniform… in fact, wearing any clothes at all!

Trowa: This was your idea! Why haven't you jumped?

Dou: You jump, I jump, right?

Trowa: Wrong, Braid Boy! This ain't the Titanic!

Dou: Whatever floats your boat, Rubber Nose!

Trowa: Think of Mr. Sparkles!

Dou: MR. SPARKLES!!!!!!! *Charges like a ninja out of the plane, into the sky, and lands in a tree*

*Trowa performs a triple back flip with a 540( out of the plane, and lands lightly on the ground, bowing deeply at the waist*

*All gather under Dou's tree while the plane lands in a soft pile of grass beside them, and Quatre walks out*

Quatre: *Shyly* Guys… There's someone I want you to meet! *Signals for an old guy in neon orange hot pants to step from behind him* This is Autopilot!!!

*All faint*

Writer: *Proudly* How many of you were expecting that?!

Trowa: *Innocently* I was!



~Owari~