By Astral Phoenix
I created Ultimecia.
SeeD had spent centuries preparing for the coming of the legendary evil, watching and waiting for signs of the Great Destroyer. Every silver-haired girl, every inheritor of Sorceress power was put under close observation for all their living days. More and more Guardians were discovered, making Garden's armies the most potent military force the world had ever known.
But, in the end, their vigil failed.
Ultimecia. People would curse that name for generations later, grind her bones to dust after she was long dead. Little did they know that she wasn't really the one at fault. I was. I pushed her too far. I made her the monster she is now.
The terrible irony of it all is that I had sworn to fight her.
Yes, I was a SeeD.
The greatest of all SeeDs.
My earliest memories were of my mother. Her gentle, warm hands stroking my cheek. My face pressed against her raven hair, which smelled faintly of jasmine. She was always there for me, with a smile and a warm hug. I would cuddle up to her, seek comfort in her loving caress. The world outside might be cruel and harsh, but in her embrace I was safe. She was the one person I knew would never judge me, would always accept me for what I was, her son.
She gave me the first taste of what I would crave for all my life afterward.
Love. Affection. Acceptance.
Joy rose within me, a brilliant sparkle of radiance.
Mother often spent long hours telling me stories, her soft velvet voice recounting great myths and legends of the past. One particular tale held special meaning for me, although the fact that it was a true story had nothing to do with it. It was Leonhart's story.
Leonhart, the legendary warrior and Hyne's champion who had traveled forward in time to defeat Ultimecia. Upon his victorious return he appeared before the Matriarch Edea, and showed her a glorious vision: a knightly order dedicated to the highest standards of honor and valor, eternally sworn to watch for the great evil. Inspired by his divine message, Cid and Edea founded SeeD.
I'd looked up to SeeDs ever since I was a child - who couldn't help but admire the charismatic men and women in white, who dispatched the most dangerous of monsters with ease? But it wasn't until now that I realized why the masses adored them. What a noble cause, guarding the world against the greatest evil it had ever known. It was no wonder the populace respected them.
I decided. I would become a SeeD; I would be adored and loved by all.
Mother had smiled when I told her about being a SeeD, but even as a child I could tell she thought I wasn't serious about it. She had never doubted my limits, but this was certainly too much for a boy who could barely lift a weapon, much less swing it. Her dismissal only made me even more determined, though. That very same day I built myself a crude practice gunblade. It was only a rudimentary copy of the traditional SeeD weapon, but it would serve me well.
I set to work. On my first day I was so determined to hone my skills that I stopped only when the blood from my abraded palms made the hilt too slippery to hold. The next morning, I went at it again with bandaged hands. That was when mother realized that I was dead serious. She was surprised at first, but soon came to accept it and eventually even encouraged me.
I trained hard. Unlike most children - and adults, for that matter - I never let my resolve falter. Mother admired that in me, and supported me as best as she could, preparing me for the rigors of military life, scraping together the funds to send me to Garden.
Imagine my elation when Garden accepted me as a student! I remember hugging mother tightly, Garden's official letter still clutched in one fist. It would be the last time I felt her loving embrace, and it saddened me. But I knew I couldn't be content with just having her love me. I needed the world to accept me, as well. For that, I had to leave her.
It wasn't long before I was recognized as one of the best in Garden. My resolve to succeed gave me an edge over other SeeDs, and I passed my exam with near-perfect results. Impressed by my achievement, SeeD's highest leader - Praetor Kalith - took a liking to me. I will never forget the day he handed me my score report and whispered those words in my ear in the ancient tradition.
A SeeD's life will not be easy, he said to me as he pressed the scroll into my hands. But with great responsibility comes great respect.
I tackled my new duties with an enthusiasm and fervor that was rarely seen. I was a SeeD! A knight whose sworn duty was to defend humanity against the Great Destroyer. People smiled and nodded at me on the street, or even bowed in reverance as I walked by. With every mission, every tour of duty people's respect for me grew, and I basked in it. But what really proved to everyone that I was the best of the best was the day Omega Weapon broke loose.
The monster had slain the entire guard force that patrolled its ancient prison, and begun attacks on another city by the time reinforcements arrived. My group, along with several other teams, charged into battle to distract it while SeeD specialists repaired the dimensional prison crafted by the Guardian Diablos. Kalith himself led the charge.
Bodies fell, and the screams of the dying filled the air. Dead and wounded SeeDs dropped to the ground alike, and in the end I was the only one left standing. I alone held off the Weapon long enough for the dimensional prison to be activated.
That battle left me badly hurt, but I was hailed as a hero by the masses, the man who'd stood up to the Weapon and won. After I'd recovered, victory parades were held to celebrate our triumph over the greatest monster reality had ever known. I remember standing at the front, waving to the cheering crowds. I savored that same sensation of joy, relished it, basked in it as I realized what it was.
Love. Affection. Acceptance.
However, Praetor Kalith was mortally wounded in that battle. After the jubilant celebrations came days of anxious waiting as death's grasp drew ever closer to him. As if the blow were not enough, astrologers came to us with ominous news. The prophesized days of darkness were coming soon; Ultimecia would surely rise to power within our generation.
On his deathbed, Kalith bequeathed to me his legacy. After him, I would be SeeD's next praetor. Find Ultimecia, he told me as I held his feeble hand. Find her, and stop her before she can lay waste to all we have built. I swore to do so, and he breathed his last.
Kalith's words had awakened something else in me, something greater than just the desire to be liked. I would slay Ultimecia with my own hands, rid the world of the terrible menace. I would be savior, liberator, protector, defender, the knight in shining armor, the hero who came to deliver the world from that witch's evil clutches. People would sing my praise and write tales about my epic deeds to be handed on to later generations. Leonhart's legend meant little to me now; heroes of the past had no place in our world.
Love. Affection. Acceptance.
I would have it all.
There was little doubt that Ultimecia's arrival was imminent, and I had every intention of crushing her. My first order as SeeD's praetor was to have every silver-haired girl in the world executed without trial. Better to have her slain as a child than wait for her to become a threat. There were murmurs of discontent among the masses, and the parents of their doomed daughters begged for mercy, but I was deaf to their pleas. Ultimecia, if she was as terrible as the legends portrayed her to be, would wipe out millions. Surely a few lives were a small price to pay for her death? They would thank me, praise me for saving their world when the Great Destroyer's corpse was found among the dead.
Some tried to flee from the cities, hoping to save their children. Enraged, I made SeeD erect magical forcefields around every major town, effectively preventing escape or entry. Just as well: with travel possible only through SeeD-controlled magic portals, Ultimecia would have a hard time getting around.
Another source of danger would have to be watched too, I realized. The current Sorceress. Raven-haired Leisha was a diminutive young woman, pleasant and soft-spoken. It would be all too easy for Ultimecia to walk up, kill her, drain her powers, and fulfill the prophecy. She had already been put under heavy guard, but I decided that it wasn't enough.
I needed to be sure that Ultimecia, if she eluded detection, would stand no chance at all of getting close to her.
I ordered a massive castle built, the greatest prison the world had ever known. The interior was tastefully designed to make Leisha feel comfortable, but a comfortable prison was still a prison. SeeD patrolled the battlements day and night; hordes of monsters laid in wait to devour uninvited guests. The interior was a labyrinth that would confuse even the most skillful of assassins. I personally moved the Omega Weapon to the heart of the castle, where it would be released once the great bell was rung. That beast would daunt even Ultimecia's power!
As a final precaution, the castle was levitated. Titanic stones charged with Float magic were used to fly the castle a hundred feet up into the air, where it was then anchored with great iron chains; nobody could get up or down without being detected. Magic portals allowed for SeeD reinforcement if invaders came in force.
Into the very highest tower went Leisha, tearful and lonely. I almost felt sorry for her. But too bad. She would have to make the sacrifice so that we could stop Ultimecia. So that I could stop Ultimecia.
Time passed, yet there was no sign of the Great Destroyer's appearance. SeeDs combed the world, following every possible lead, but they turned up nothing. Up in Garden's vast command hall, I would pace back and forth everyday, agonizing over where the dreaded enemy was, wondering what else I could do to foil her plans.
Then one day, the answer struck me, crystal clear like a message from Hyne herself. I could kill Leisha, and take her powers. Ultimecia would never stand a chance.
It was the perfect solution. No longer would SeeD have to stand on tiptoe and watch nervously as a new Sorceress appeared. Instead of an evil witch bent on utter destruction, there would be a noble and benlovent knight who would watch over the world, using the dreaded power to keep it safe.
I couldn't believe this had never occurred to anyone before. Why couldn't they see the obvious answer, and instead placed their hopes on some warrior from a fairytale who would supposedly come and save us all?
I would end the age-old conflict here and now. To hell with Leonhart; I was all that our people needed. Maybe Leonhart himself, if he ever existed, would be envious of the songs people would sing about me. This deed would leave me remembered by all as a savior of worlds.
Passage to the castle where Leisha was imprisoned was quickly arranged. That night, I made my way up to the very top of the highest tower. She would be sleeping. At least she would feel no pain.
The door to her room was heavy, and creaked loudly as I pushed it open. A shaft of light fell on her peaceful features, and she stirred a little; I froze in the doorway, hoping she wouldn't wake up. Keep sleeping, Leisha. Make things easier for both of us.
My hand reached for the hilt of my sword as I moved towards her. I had to resist the urge to smile; it was too easy. One swipe of my blade and Ultimecia, wherever she was, would become an impotent threat.
I raised the weapon to deal the deathblow.
And at that moment, her eyes flew open.
Something flashed within those brilliant blue pupils of hers: terror, desperation, a hint of insanity. She screamed, a shriek that sounded as if it came from the jaws of a cornered animal not a doomed Sorceress. Leisha scrambled back on the bed, trying to get away from the lethal weapon, throwing up pillows and blankets as she did.
Too late. I swung the sword in a wide arc, and blood spilled onto the sheets from the severed jugular artery as I slit her throat.
She clawed at the fatal wound, her scream ending in a wet gurgle, but she wasn't dead yet. Her Sorceress power: it was keeping her alive. She had to pass it on before she could die in peace.
I flung away the sword, barely heard it clatter to the floor. Give me your power, I yelled, grabbing her by the shoulders. Give it to me and Ultimecia will be gone forever! All she could do was stare back at me helplessly, one hand clasped around her wound, the other trying feebly to wrench herself out of my grasp. Then I realized it: she knew nothing about the magnitude of the power she carried, knew nothing about the fact that it would keep her from death until it was passed on. She didn't know how to release the Sorceress energies for another being to inherit.
Rage rose in me, and I tightened my grasp on her, digging my nails into her skin. So close, so close to total victory - and foiled by a wench who could not pass on her powers! I screamed at her, slapped her, punched and kicked her, flung her body against the walls like a broken toy. All the while she merely whimpered and pleaded, begging me to let her go, but her pleas only made me more angry.
Slowly, her cries and screams died down, and she stopped struggling. At first I thought that somehow she had died without letting go of her power. It was only when I looked into her eyes again that I realized the magnitude of my mistake.
There was no more fear there, no more terror. Only a dark, hollow void, and the cold fire of hatred.
I had pushed her too far. All the years of solitude, all the years of suffering, the close shave with death, and now me - everything had culminated in a unstoppable chain reaction.
Critical mass had been reached.
Leisha had never used her Sorceress abilities before, but now power the likes of which I had never seen exploded from her hands, wrapping her in a shining blue aura. I could only stand and watch, horrified, as she levitated herself off the floor, her wounds healing themselves miraculously, the magic which had kept her hanging on to life by a thread moments ago now revealed in its full glory. In that instant she looked both beautiful and terrible, a goddess enraged. Energy coursed through her body, bleaching her hair to the dreaded hue of silver.
She spoke, and it was with the voice of a deity passing judgment.
If you want Ultimecia, I will give you Ultimecia.
Her prison became her fortress. The monsters she bent to her will, and turned upon the SeeD guards. She possessed even the Omega Weapon, the very creature we'd intended to use against her.
I was no match for her, of course. I was a fool to ever think that I could have beaten her. But Leisha - I mean Ultimecia - did not kill me; that would have been too easy a punishment. She savored her vengeance slowly. Every ounce of pain I had ever dealt to her, she returned a hundredfold. She took a lot of pleasure in humiliating me in every way possible.
The worst part of it all was the fact that she let me live, made me live.
She made me watch as SeeD launched their desperate but doomed attack. She made me see the results of that tragically one-sided battle. From the towers of Castle Ultimus I saw the white-clad corpses piled in mounds dozens of feet high, their faces contorted in various expressions of agony. Blood trickled down from the grotesque monuments to her inhuman power, rivers of crimson on the scorched black earth. There were times when I thought I could look at the rotting bodies and recognize the familiar faces of former comrades, now twisted and distorted by pain.
This is what you have done to your world, she whispered in my ear.
…
Love. Affection. Acceptance.
Nobody knows, and nobody would believe me, but I still yearn for them. Sometimes I ignore the pain in my broken body and try to remember what it felt like to be held in Mother's loving caress. I lie in the darkness and strain to recall what I felt that day when I waved back to the cheering crowds. Those memories are dulled now, with no more details to color them, only stark pictures painted in black and white like old photographs. Just faded images to comfort a ruined soul.
Love. Affection. Acceptance.
I have lost all of that now, as I have everything else. Everything. Only hate is left to me, forcing me to live out the rest of eternity day by miserable day.
Hatred for mother, who failed to stop me in time.
Hatred for Ultimecia, who robbed me of even that last escape - death.
And hatred for myself, the foolish creature who started it all.
The End