Author's Note: This fic was inspired by the artbook picture of Heero with the ferret inside his jacket. So I gave Heero a pet ferret, added a very mischievous Duo, and got this…^_~
Disclaimers: Don't own Gundam Wing.
The Ferret Is Missing!
By Dorothy Winner
~*~
Heero opened the door of the library a fraction, peering through the small crack. Duo and Hilde were visiting them for the day at the Peacecraft palace, and since Hilde was with Relena, Duo had taken to following Heero around wherever he went, talking incessantly. Heero had managed to shake Duo for the moment, saying he had to make a confidential call, and then hid in the library.
Duo was nowhere in sight. Heero snuck out of the library and crept to the end of the hallway, looking around the corner to make sure it was clear before proceeding down the hallway. Heero then remembered that he still had to feed his pet ferret. He turned down another corridor and opened the door to the room where he kept his ferret. Heero walked into the room and froze.
The cage was… empty. He ran out of the room and barely managed to avoid a collision with Milliardo. "Watch where you're going, Yuy!" snapped Milliardo.
"I'm sorry, have you seen my ferret?" asked Heero. "It's not in its cage, I don't know where it is…"
"It's not in its cage?" Milliardo asked, looking nervously around him. "You… you know I'm allergic to its hair! You're supposed to keep that thing in its cage!"
"I don't know, the cage door was wide open and it was gone—"
"You're the Perfect Soldier but you can't even design a cage that keeps animals in? It could be anywhere by now!"
"Well, we've got to look for it," said Heero.
"Look for it? I'm not looking for it, I'm allergic, remember? You look for it!" Milliardo stomped off in a huff. Heero rolled his eyes. Milliardo was one to be allergic to hair. He probably would have helped, he thought, once he started sneezing they'd know the ferret was close by.
Heero walked back into the room and inspected the cage. How had the ferret gotten it open? Had he forgotten to close it? Just then he noticed the window was open. Shit, thought Heero. What if the ferret had gone outside?
Duo's head appeared around the door. "Hey Heero, Milliardo's lookin' pretty pissed, have you found your ferret yet?"
"No." Heero shook his head. "I think it may have escaped out the window…"
"Well, let's go then, I'll help ya find him," said Duo.
The two of them went outside. "Here, ferret, ferret, ferret, ferret," said Duo. "Come to Duo. Here, ferret, ferret, ferret, ferret…"
"Duo."
"Yeah?"
"Shut. Up."
"Mmmkay." Duo and Heero searched through the grounds of the Peacecraft palace in silence for the next half hour.
Heero stopped walking. "Look, Duo, this isn't working. Let's split up so we can cover more ground."
"Good idea." The two of them started off in the same direction. Heero glared at Duo. "Ooookay… I'll go the other way," said Duo.
Another fifteen minutes passed when Heero heard Duo give a shout from a cluster of trees. "Hey Heero! I found him! He's up in this tree… hang on… I'll get him…"
"Duo!" called Heero. "Ferrets don't climb trees! It's probably just a—"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Duo yelled. Heero saw Duo come crashing down from a fifty-foot tall tree, breaking branches along the way. He hit the ground with a sickening thud.
"Oh my God! Duo!" Heero ran toward the group of trees. Duo lay facedown on the ground. "Duo! Are you okay?" Heero turned him over. A mannequin stared sightlessly back at him. "What the…"
"Ha ha! Got you!" Duo emerged from behind a tree, laughing raucously, carrying an animal carrier with the ferret inside. "Who's the king? Who's the king?"
Heero deathglared at Duo. "Duo… omae o korosu!"
"Yikes!" Duo dropped the animal carrier and took off at a sprint, Heero at his heels.
~*~
Hilde and Relena were walking through the gardens of the Peacecraft palace, chatting amiably, when Duo shot past them like a rocket. "Hilde! Help me!" cried Duo. A few seconds later, Heero ran by, stopping to ask, "Which way did Duo go?"
Hilde and Relena both pointed in the direction Duo went. "Thanks," said Heero hastily, before taking off after Duo again.
Relena looked at Hilde. "What was that all about?"
Hilde shrugged. "I don't know. I've learned it's best if we don't get involved."
~*~
Duo tripped as he ran out of the gardens and was tackled by Heero to the ground. "Aaaaahhhh!" Duo yelled as Heero pinned him in a vicious headlock and wrapped his braid around his wrist. He gave it a sharp tug. Duo yowled in pain.
"Never, ever, mess with my ferret again," said Heero in a dangerous low voice. He gave Duo's braid another yank. "Or you will find yourself deprived of this braid. Do you understand?"
"Yes," sniveled Duo, "please, not the braid, not the braid, I'm sorry…"
"Baka." Heero let Duo go and went back to retrieve the ferret, which had been left behind during the chase. He opened the door of the animal carrier and took out the ferret, which snuggled up in his jacket. He returned to the gardens and found Hilde and Relena on the bench, with Duo in Hilde's arms, Hilde stroking his hair comfortingly.
"Duo kidnapped my ferret and I'm the bad guy here?" said Duo.
"It was just a joke, Heero," said Relena. "You know Duo would never let anything happen to your ferret." Duo whimpered.
"Fine. Take his side then. We're leaving," said Heero to his ferret, walking away.
Once Heero was out of sight, Duo looked up, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "There's one thing I forgot to mention to Heero."
"What?" Relena and Hilde asked together.
"DDDDDUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That's not his ferret."
~*~
Fin