Author's Note: Hey, anybody remember this series? (hears crickets chirping) Man, tough crowd… anyways, I finally was able to finish another part of this series… it's not Quatre, I know, I still haven't come up with an idea for him yet, sorry. I believe the idea for this prank is again sabacat's. I hope all of you like it, even if you don't like Dorothy. I think she's cool! ^_^

Disclaimers: Don't own Gundam Wing. Just giving Dorothy a makeover…

The Eyebrow Queen Strikes Back

by Dorothy Winner

~*~

There was one thing about Dorothy Catalonia that bugged Duo Maxwell.

It wasn't because she had been a Romefeller spy, claimed to love war, attacked them with mobile dolls, had stabbed Quatre, used modes of transportation that always seemed to be painted gold, or even had longer hair than he did.

It was those disturbing eyebrows.

She was actually kind of pretty, Duo thought, if it weren't for those eyebrows. Were they some kind of genetic mutation or something? Treize had had forked eyebrows but they weren't nearly as severe as Dorothy's. Treize and Dorothy had been cousins; some crazy genetic branch of the Khushrenada line must have wormed its way over to the Catalonia family. Well, Dorothy had no control over that, but why wouldn't she wax them or tweeze the top part off? Was there something wrong with her? Did she have a fascination with pointy things? And why were they gray when the rest of her hair was white-blonde?

When Dorothy started dating Quatre, Duo had thought Quatre could maybe make a suggestion to tweeze them or something. But Quatre didn't want her to do anything of the sort. "I like them. They're unique," he had said.

Unique? More like freaky, Duo thought. Was he the only one who thought there was something horribly wrong with Dorothy's eyebrows? Obviously she was facially disfigured! Duo decided to take matters into his own hands. So just as people with facial disfigurements had surgery to fix them, Duo decided to do a little "corrective surgery" of his own. Maybe if Dorothy saw what single eyebrows looked on her, she would keep them…

…which was why Duo was scaling the walls of the Winner mansion in the middle of the night with a grappling hook and some rope. When he had heard that Quatre was going on a business trip to L4 for several days, he immediately seized the opportunity. Duo stopped midway up the wall and took out a map of the Winner mansion, opening it with his teeth. 'Okay… third floor, eighth window over…' He stuffed the map back into his pocket with one hand and continued to climb up. 'Must be the one with the balcony…'

Duo swung over the railing and landed on the balcony without a sound. He pulled a pin out of his hair and easily picked the lock open on the French double doors. He turned the handle and pushed inward.

SSQQQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAKKK.

Duo cursed inwardly. Quatre was one of the richest people in all of the Earth Sphere and the colonies… so why weren't his bedroom balcony door hinges oiled? Duo froze as he saw Dorothy stir slightly in the bed. He looked around in panic. All hell would break loose if Dorothy woke up now to find him in their bedroom… what with those forty Maguanacs wearing their bright red fez hats swarming all over the Winner compound… they would surely tear him limb from limb if they thought he was going to hurt their dear Quatre-sama's fiancée.

Duo released a pent up breath in relief as Dorothy settled back into a deep sleep. He crept forward stealthily until he stood right next to the bed. "Can't have ya waking up, now can we?" he said, pulling a chloroform rag out of one pocket and pressing it firmly over Dorothy's mouth and nose, effectively knocking her out for at least three hours. Plenty of time.

Reaching into his other pocket, Duo took out an electric razor he had personally selected for the occasion and turned it on. He brought the razor to Dorothy's eyebrows, and, with the precision of a brain surgeon, carefully shaved off the top fork of each eyebrow. He reached into his pocket again and pulled out a pair of very fine eyebrow tweezers (temporarily stolen from Hilde) and leaned in to pluck any stray hairs. Finding it a task that wasn't so easy to do in the dark, he grabbed his pocket flashlight, and, tweezers in one hand and flashlight in the other, spent the next ten minutes meticulously shaping her eyebrows into "the final product."

Duo soon ended up with a crick in his neck from leaning over her for such a prolonged period of time and squinting to see the hairs. He slowly straightened and surveyed his work. "Not bad, if I do say so myself," he said proudly. "You'll thank me for this later, you'll see." Duo gathered everything up and stuffed them back into his pockets. He went back out to the balcony and shut the doors as they were before.

"Sweet dreams, Dotty…"

~*~

Dorothy woke up the next morning, feeling slightly disoriented, as though she hadn't slept well even though she had had a full night's sleep. Brushing her hair out of her face with one hand, Dorothy squinted at the morning sun that was pouring through the balcony doors. Turning away from the light, she noticed strange little gray hairs all over her pillow. "That's strange…" She sat up and looked down at her pillow. "What are…?" Dorothy brushed them off her pillow. "There'd better not be a cat in here…"

Dorothy stood up and walked over to her dresser to begin the lengthy task of brushing her hair, picking up her silver brush and looking up at her reflection in the mirror.

She screamed.

She screamed, one long, high, blood-curdling, ear-splitting note that hurt the ears of every single person in the entire Winner compound. Within two seconds, about twenty Maguanacs poured into the bedroom, all still in their pajamas.

"Maguanacs, protect Dorothy-sama!" Abdul shouted, which probably wouldn't have sounded so ridiculous if he hadn't been wearing just his camel-patterned boxers. A group of Maguanacs surrounded Dorothy, while the rest went to block every window and door. When it became evident that there was no intruder, Abdul turned to Dorothy. "Dorothy-sama?"

"Get away from me, all of you!" Dorothy yelled, pushing the Maguanacs out of her way. "WHO—DID—THIS—TO—ME?!" she shouted in a terrible voice, jabbing a finger at one single eyebrow.

The Maguanacs stared at Dorothy's eyebrows in astonishment, but no one dared to speak, because every single one of them had absolutely no clue whatsoever.

"Well, FIND OUT!!!" Dorothy bellowed.

"Yes, Dorothy-sama!" the Maguanacs exclaimed in unison and immediately began to leave the room, lest they be the last one left for Dorothy to vent her wrath upon.

Dorothy hurled her silver hairbrush into her dresser mirror with a terrific crash. "Whoever did this will PAY!!!"

~*~

"What do you mean you can't find anything on the security cameras?" Abdul exclaimed desperately. "If I can't find out who it is, she'll eat me alive!"

Auda and Ahmed were sitting at a security monitor station, going through video surveillance of the previous night to no avail. "If only Quatre-sama were here; he'd be able to calm her down," said Auda.

"Whoever did this would have to be really good if they got through the security system," said Ahmed, "Heero Yuy designed it himself. But they weren't after money or anything. They just… shaved her eyebrows."

"I don't get it," said Abdul. "It's almost as if it were a practical joke."

"What did you say?" came Dorothy's voice from behind them.

All three Maguanacs fell out of their chairs in fear and shock. They quickly scrambled to their feet and saluted. "Dorothy-sama!"

"Let me ask you again, what was it that you said, Abdul?" Dorothy repeated tersely.

"A—a practical joke, Dorothy-sama?" Abdul stammered.

Dorothy suddenly recalled a vidphone conversation with Catherine from a week before, in which she mentioned the kidnapping of Trowa's lions by a certain braided ex-Gundam pilot…

"Take me to the airport. Now."

~*~

"Whaddaya mean the flight's been canceled?!" Duo exclaimed.

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Smith, but the plane is in the process of being repaired for an engine malfunction. The next flight will depart in approximately two hours—"

"No, no, you don't understand," said Duo, "this is an emergency; I have to leave right now. Can't the next flight leave any sooner?"

"As I said, Mr. Smith, the next flight is in two—"

"Look, just put me on to a flight to anywhere. Anywhere. I just need to leave here now…"

"Your ticket only covers the flight you are scheduled for and any possible delays or cancellations. I cannot change your destination—"

"Fine, fine, I don't care," said Duo, "I'll pay for another ticket…"

"Ticket purchases must be done twenty-four hours in advance of the flight…"

Meanwhile, there was a commotion going on at the metal detectors. "Hey, lady, you can't bring that through here," said a security guard as Dorothy, accompanied by Abdul, Auda, and Ahmed, went right past him, completely disregarding the loud beeps as her fencing foil registered on the metal detector.

Auda showed the security guard his identification. "Maguanac Corps, Winner Enterprises, emergency business meeting, please let us through, it's just a carry-on, really; she wouldn't hurt a fly…"

But from the look on her face, it definitely looked like Dorothy would be hurting something much more significant than a fly as travelers scurried out of her warpath.

"No, no, no," Duo moaned frantically as he saw Dorothy marching up the concourse. He began to climb over the ticket counter. "Um, miss, would you mind if I just duck behind your counter for a second?"

"Excuse me, sir," the woman said angrily, "this area is restricted to employees only, and I have just about had it with your antics…"

Dorothy noticed a disturbance going on at one of the ticket counters. It was none other than Duo Maxwell, trying to hide behind it. Suddenly, all she could see was red. "DUO MAXWELL!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Duo 'eeped' and attempted to escape on the baggage conveyer belt, only to have one of the baggage handlers haul him off. "Excuse me, sir, but passengers are not allowed beyond the ticket counter." The burly man hoisted Duo back over the counter. "Please don't do that again."

Duo turned around and found himself face to face with a very angry Dorothy, to put it mildly. "So… h-how do you like the new look?"

Dorothy's eyes narrowed into slits. "You very well know the answer to that, Duo." She slowly raised her fencing foil until it was pointed straight at his heart. "My fiancée may be a pacifist… but I certainly am not." She tilted her head slightly, a sadistic glint coming to her eyes. "This is too easy… You have ten seconds, Maxwell… and then I'm coming after you."

"Yikes!" Duo took off like a shot as Dorothy ominously began counting down his ten precious seconds…

~*~

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" a traveler yelled angrily as Duo grabbed their baggage cart. "I paid three credits for that thing!"

"Thanks!" Duo yelled back as he began to ride the cart as a sort of scooter, careering comically around ticket lines, seats, and travelers.

"Two can play at that game, Maxwell!" Dorothy shouted. She jumped onto an airport taxi that just happened to be passing by at that moment, shoving the poor driver out of his seat. Its two passengers, fearing for their lives, jumped out as Dorothy slammed her foot down on the accelerator.

"Shit," Duo said to himself as he looked back to see Dorothy barreling full speed after him down the concourse. Duo veered sharply to the left onto a walkway belt. "Coming through! Coming through!" he shouted as the poor travelers on the belt yelled and screamed, diving over the glass partition, luggage and all, to avoid being run over.

"Run all you want, Maxwell!" Dorothy cried, waving her fencing foil in the air like a mad war general as she drove down the middle of the concourse between the up and down walkway belts. "You can't escape me!"

The walkway ended and Duo swerved to the right onto another concourse. "Watch out, coming through!" he yelled.

"Cool! I didn't know they were filming a chase scene for an action movie here!" one traveler exclaimed, avidly taking pictures.

"Idiot! Do you see any cameras? Get out of the way!" yelled another traveler as he narrowly missed being run over by Dorothy.

Duo looked over his shoulder to see Dorothy catching up to him. He spotted a flight of stairs between a pair of up and down escalators ahead of him. He put on an extra burst of speed. "Heads up!" he yelled. The travelers on the escalators and stairs screamed and ducked as Duo and the cart went sailing through the air above them and landed miraculously at the bottom of the stairs. "Sorry!" he added as he kept going on his cart.

"Damn you, Maxwell!" Dorothy shouted angrily, jumping out of her airport taxi. She slid down the handrail and began running after Duo on foot down yet another concourse, an impressive feat in her three-inch heels.

The chase continued down yet another concourse, which happened to come to a dead end. "I've got you now, Maxwell!" Dorothy shouted triumphantly.

Thinking quickly, Duo spotted a flight that was boarding passengers. "Sir, you're not allowed past… Sir! Sir!" shouted the flight attendant as Duo ran onto the walkway. He got onto the airplane and ran through the cabin until he came to another exit. He opened it and pulled the cord for the land escape slide. "C'mon, c'mon…" The escape slide inflated and Duo slid down. He got onto a baggage truck that was conveniently parked nearby and began driving away as fast as he could.

Dorothy went down the slide after him. "Very clever, Maxwell, but you're only prolonging the inevitable!" Just then, a maintenance worker, having noticed the bright yellow escape slide inflate, drove up in his truck. He got out to take a look at what had happened when Dorothy hopped into his truck and drove after Duo.

"Hey! That's my truck! Hey, come back here!" the maintenance worker yelled in vain.

The chase began anew as Dorothy chased Duo up and down the airplane runways, swerving and skidding on the tarmac. All of a sudden, the engine of Duo's truck started to groan and sputter. "No, no, no; not now…" The hood began to smoke. "Shit, no…"

Just as Duo noticed a sign that said 'Do Not Operate, Needs Repair' on the windshield, a small explosion in the engine threw him out of the truck. Stunned, Duo lay on the tarmac for a few moments. He began to get up only to find Dorothy standing over him, her fencing foil at his throat.

"Gotcha."

~*~

Quatre sat at a business meeting on L4 with Rashid, listening to a presentation on building additional mining facilities on the L4 satellites, when he suddenly gasped in pain.

Rashid turned to him, alarmed. "Quatre-sama! Are you all right?"

Quatre looked at him. "My heart hurts…"

~*~

Duo opened his eyes to a bright white light shining above him. "Where… am I?"

The face of Iria Winner appeared in his vision. "Oh, good, Mr. Maxwell, you're awake. You had us worried there for a second."

"Huh? Am I dead?"

Iria laughed. "Oh, goodness, no, Duo; you're alive and well. I'm Dr. Iria Winner, Quatre's sister."

"Aren't you dead?"

"I assure you I'm not dead; I was just badly injured after I took the impact for Quatre in the explosion that killed our father."

"What?" Duo attempted to sit up, only to feel an excruciating pain lance up his left side. "Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!"

"Oh no, Duo, please don't try to move; you just came out of surgery a few hours ago. You're very lucky to be alive; Dorothy's fencing foil missed your vital organs. Just a centimeter to the right would have struck your liver, and then perhaps your story would have taken a more tragic turn of events."

"Huh?"

Iria looked at Duo quizzically. "Well, perhaps your anesthetic hasn't completely worn off quite yet… anyways, I'm pleased to tell you that your girlfriend Hilde has just arrived; she's just been so worried about your condition. I'll leave you two alone for a bit."

Iria left the room and Hilde rushed in. "Oh, Duo!" she exclaimed, running to the bed and hugging him. "I'm so glad you're okay!" She pulled back. "What the hell did you think you were doing?!"

"Huh?"

"Aaaargh!" Hilde threw up her hands in frustration. "You shaved off Dorothy's eyebrows, remember? She stabbed you, remember?"

"Oh yeeeeaaaaaahh," said Duo, suddenly remembering everything now.

"Not to mention all the chaos you caused at the airport…"

"Awww, that was the best part, Hilde-babe," said Duo.

"Duo!" Hilde exclaimed in exasperation, stomping out of the room.

"Hey, Hilde, where're ya going?" Duo called after her. "Do you think you could get me something to eat?"

Hilde passed Iria in the hallway. "I'm sorry, Iria, but I think you performed the wrong surgery," she huffed.

"What do you mean?" asked Iria.

"What Duo really needs is brain surgery."

~*~

Fin