Story Title: Toys
Disclaimer: NOTHING is mine. Except the story! The concept doesn't belong to me either. Oh, and don't sue me. Please?
Censor: R. Poor Chibiusa…
Notes: Um…major OOC…that's all I can really think of. By the way, as I was writing this, this…um, idea came to mind. Well, anyway, I think this story's heading towards the AU thing. Maybe…it could be almost like the Super S movie, except…it's not. Did that make sense? I was going to have this in the SS season, but then I didn't feel like going through the whole Amazon freaks-Nehelenia-Golden Crystal crap. Soooo...what do YOU think?
Chapter Two: Playtime
One two three, one two three, one two three four, groups of children filed out the doors to the swings and jungle gyms, trying to forget all their problems in an ignorant rush of bliss. I felt angry at all the playing girls and boys for some reason - maybe it was because I couldn't forget my problems in a state of happiness or bliss - my problems always tie me down just as I undo a single knot. I've always envied normal people - I have royal blood, the power of the White Moon running through my veins - yet it comes with a heavy price, a price that I haven't figured out yet.
Will it be my sanity?
I've never had any real power before I discovered that I could use the Ginzuishou, just like my Mama, but now, I regret having this power. I've always had to be protected, and I so hated that, yet I hate to fight so many redundant battles that always have to end in a painful twist of fate.
I merely sat down during this time; usually I liked to play during recess, but I couldn't - something was haunting me, these nightmares - I've always had nightmares every since I was 800 or so, but it was getting worse and worse. It just feels so real; so real that I feel the pain, the tears - all of it, every painful and torturing experience that is mixed into my all nightmares…just thinking about makes my hands tremble, even in this afternoon sun. I can't really explain it - it's just this feeling, this spark of fear that's growing, consuming me, haunting me, trying to claim me.
Sitting in the warm light of the sun, birds chirruping, I stayed far away from the raucous and riotous crowd of children at the playground - I needed to stay away from humans - I didn't feel quite so human right now, with these nightmare demons resting in my mind, my heart, my body. I felt so exposed to the dark and evil right now, despite the fact I was laying down in a thick grassy carpet in the sunlight. I tried to forget in vain, knowing I couldn't, and I clenched my fists as the wind blew in my face, trying to comfort me with its cooling breath. Concentrating on keeping my mind intact, my chest rising slowly, a meditative calm overpowering me, flooding my soul. I would be taken away to another world.
Sighing, I closed my eyes, trying to block out all the cussing that came from the little boys playing soccer, trying to block out all the gossip of the spoiled girls dressing up their dolls, trying to block out all the arguing children playing cops and robbers, trying to block out the *real* world. I didn't want to be there, and I didn't need to be there right now.
Suddenly, all the sound was gone. Gone.
I opened my eyes, unable to believe my ears.
Radiant rainbow butterflies and dainty white birds fluttered about the trees of the lush forest as sparkles of light drifted across the clear water that lay in front of me. Where was I, I didn't know, but it was a relaxing daydream, an escape from the usual nightmares that chased after me night after night. Still, I was reluctant to relax in this dream world - I knew, I felt that something dark and evil - those demons - would come after me the minute I dropped my guard.
But it just was so peaceful, so beautiful, that I couldn't resist touching a nearby blossom, a large, beautiful white color with a touch of powdery blue gracing its base. A trio of birds landed nearby, resting on a branch, serenading the sweet freshness of the lush scene. It didn't seem so real though, I didn't dare believe it was real, for experiences with devils before made me feel tense and precautious. "This…isn't real…"I muttered in disbelief, brushing a stray pink strand from my shoulders. But it was just so *beautiful*. Almost like...bliss. If feelings could become physical. It was indeed blissful, all the little birds and other creatures not worrying about anything; finding their bliss.
"This...can't be...real..."
/it is real/
I spun at the echoing, enchanting voice that floated in the winds of the bright blue sky in this dream. "Who?" I cried out, white flower petals swirling around my skirt. My voice seemed to carry like that mysterious voice, suspended by the light winds. Walking on the soft grass, I searched for the voice that had spoken just moments before. "Where are you? Where *am* I?" My throat was tightening in panic, in frustration that I have no idea where I was.
/it's real/
That voice again! I ran blindly after it.
"Where are you, damn it?" I screamed. "I - I don't know where I am! Can you tell me?" My voice echoed uselessly across the field. I decided to try and find a way out of this stupid place. But when I was walking down the hill, I heard the voice, closer than before, stronger, louder, a note of helplessness hanging onto the speaker's words:
/please help me/
After all my experience with battling enemies, being manipulated by evil aliens, and being turned into an evil whore by a skeleton, something - instinct, I guess - told me that it wasn't smart to trust anyone, especially if it's a mysterious voice pleading "help me". Was there a new enemy? And if there was, do they think I'm that stupid? I whirled around, ready to fight.
I didn't see an enemy.
Instead, I saw an enchanting sight - a mythical beast, standing in the middle of the tall, green grass. It was a Pegasus - or a Unicorn? The creature had beautiful pure white wings, its feathers fluttering in the light breeze, raining on the field. Feathers brushed my shoulders and fell on my odangos. I noticed a shining golden horn on its head. Its pearly white hair blew in the breeze. I heard my voice tell no one in particular: "It's beautiful…" I reached out, walked towards it, ready to touch it.
Suddenly, my hand jerked back, the strings of reason pulling hard on me again. You fool! The voices screamed in my mind, don't be stupid! He's the enemy! You have to get rid of him!
But his eyes, I replied, his eyes seem so genuine. They were intelligent and sad, vulnerable, begging for help.
The voice howled: It'll kill you, that evil thing! You must kill it! The forces of paranoia were pulling hard on my shoulders, binding me to the cross like the little puppet I was supposed to be. Kill it!
Shut up! It's not a thing! Shut up!
Of course it's a thing, everything's a thing!
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
"SHUT UP!" I yelled at the annoying voice.
"Chibiusa!?"
A teacher stood in front of me, holding a clipboard, relics of a stern expression around the stunned look on her pale face. I felt embarrassed; blush crept upon my cheeks as I looked down humbly. "Gomen nasai, sensei, ah, I was...ah, daydreaming."
"Apparently! Didn't you hear me call you?"
"Iie..."
"Well, let's hurry up, now, we're starting the lesson soon..."
I looked back to where the enchanted creature had been.
I saw something remaining of that creature - feathers. I bent down and plucked one of the ground.
They were softest thing I've ever felt; its pure white tainted only by the chips of pavement from the ground I picked it up from. Ignoring the teacher, I walked towards the school, ready to begin the lesson. I tucked the feather delicately in my pocket, because I knew it was a sign - a sign that I'd see him (or her?) again. I hope to; it was so beautiful.
*
Words and thoughts tumbled mindlessly through her as they pounded into her brain with unrelenting passion. Why, Mamoru-san? What has Usagi done to you to make you hate her? Why? Blinded by confusion, she bumped into someone and muttered a vague "hello" and "sorry" to the person without even realizing who it was, and continued slowly down the sidewalk.
Makoto blinked. Wooo, Ami looks...stoned. "Matte yo, Ami! Hey, come on! Can you hear me?"
Abruptly, her thoughts were cut through by Makoto's voice. Ami turned around and mumbled, "Oh...hi, Makoto." She couldn't help sounded depressed, like something was wrong -- well, something *was* wrong. But she didn't want to worry her friend; they had to concentrate on protecting the princess. That was the only thing that mattered, the only reason they lived.
"Ami, hey, what's up?" Makoto questioned, seeing the depressed look covering Ami's usually placid and pleasent expresssion, stormy clouds swirling in the ocean blue of her eyes, gazing at her own feet. "Have you suddenly become interested in your feet?"
She didn't answer. I don't know if I can tell her what's wrong...! Ami shut her eyes tightly, then opened them again, trying to calm herself down. How can I tell anyone? How would I tell it anyway? They wouldn't believe me...but that's not the point! She argued uselessly with herself while Makoto stamped her foot lightly, waiting for her answer. But she still didn't come back to reality, so Makoto brought her back quickly by taking three strands of Ami's hair and plucked them off, drawing a "OW!" from Ami.
"What was that for, Makoto?" Ami exclaimed, rubbing the top of her head. "That hurt!"
"That was to point, to get you out of la-la-la land! What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Ami tried to brush it off, waving her hand carelessly. "It's nothing..." Suddenly, there was a tug on her sleeve. Ami whirled around. "Urgh..." she muttered, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach -- like it had become a black hole, slowly sucking in her heart and brain.
She froze. It was Usagi.
How...? Ami couldn't move. How can I face her, after what Mamoru told me? I should tell her. But, then she...she would be so miserable. She would hate me. I don't want her to. Another voice snapped, Ami, how can you be so selfish? She deserves the truth. She is your friend, and she needs to know the truth. Tell her, you stupid girl, tell her! Usagi...Ami thought hard. What do I do? She clenched her hands together, little crescents cut out of the flesh of her palm. She didn't realize the pain, or the tiny rivers of red that splattered down her blouse, her fingers, and her skirt. The pain, the pain, the thoughts and confusion smoking with a fire of guilt. Where do I start? Should I even tell her...? No! I must, it's not right!
It was like time hung in delicate crystal particles, nothing moving, only translucent strings of diamonds, sparkling in the air.
Then she realized that she was where those crystal were.
They were real.
"Where are we...?" Usagi's voice cut into her.
"I don't know." Makoto replied.
*
"Hey, pink-hair girl, what's wrong?"
I was rudely interrupted while painting a picture. Personally, I liked how it was turning out -- it was a picture of the main characters from my favorite show on TV, Magic Knight Rayearth. The bright cloud-dotted sky was just the perfect blue and the outfits I had selected looked good. I didn't bother to look up, I recognized that snotty accent anywhere. It was Rui Yukimura. "What do you want?"
"You look so sad, why aren't you your usual happy self?"
Why is she picking on me? I thought, when the voices immediately replied. Ignore it. So I did. I was painting Hikaru's hair now, a pinkish red, darking the bangs and the hair near her neck. With a toothpick, I drew delicate blood-red lines through her long braid and her deep red eyes. Rui continued to bitch around me; I thought, can't she shut up? But no, she can't, that evil girl, she needs to die, but the voice immediately spoke up. You don't really want to. She's just a poor little girl.
Suddenly, I saw a waterfall of yellow paint rush over my painting. I snatched it away only to get yellow paint spilled on my skirt and bow. But at least my picture was okay, that was the only thing that mattered to me -- I could always change or wash it off.
Rui, however, started laughing, and it utterly pissed me off. That bitch tried to ruin my painting.
"Hey, everyone! Look at Chibiusa! What a clown!"
The voices! They rushed at me in an ocean of cruelty, crushing me in waves and waves…no! I'm not going to be crushed by a bunch of idiots! I looked over at Momo-chan. She wanted to help, I saw, but she was too scared to. I understand, Momo, I thought.
"Chibiusa the clown, Chibiusa the clown," they chanted. Not only did it piss me off, it was stupid.
I grit my teeth.
Images, images I've never seen before, flooded to my eyes as they sparkled with tears of my hurt. A girl, sitting a throne, with faeries flying around her, attending to her like she was a queen. A crown of wildflowers rested on her head. Images of bodies swamped my vision for an instant, then lush woodlands, and then a brilliant rainbow light. All the shards were suddenly replaced with a white hot energy!
"You're so stupid," Rui sneered. "Stupid girl."
Faster, faster. The energy was rushing in a rapid river.
You want to make something of it, Rui? I thought.
It's playtime.
It boiled, pulsated with a life of its own.
It exploded!!
Please review. Arigatou and ja ne!
Disclaimer: NOTHING is mine. Except the story! The concept doesn't belong to me either. Oh, and don't sue me. Please?
Censor: R. Poor Chibiusa…
Notes: Um…major OOC…that's all I can really think of. By the way, as I was writing this, this…um, idea came to mind. Well, anyway, I think this story's heading towards the AU thing. Maybe…it could be almost like the Super S movie, except…it's not. Did that make sense? I was going to have this in the SS season, but then I didn't feel like going through the whole Amazon freaks-Nehelenia-Golden Crystal crap. Soooo...what do YOU think?
Chapter Two: Playtime
One two three, one two three, one two three four, groups of children filed out the doors to the swings and jungle gyms, trying to forget all their problems in an ignorant rush of bliss. I felt angry at all the playing girls and boys for some reason - maybe it was because I couldn't forget my problems in a state of happiness or bliss - my problems always tie me down just as I undo a single knot. I've always envied normal people - I have royal blood, the power of the White Moon running through my veins - yet it comes with a heavy price, a price that I haven't figured out yet.
Will it be my sanity?
I've never had any real power before I discovered that I could use the Ginzuishou, just like my Mama, but now, I regret having this power. I've always had to be protected, and I so hated that, yet I hate to fight so many redundant battles that always have to end in a painful twist of fate.
I merely sat down during this time; usually I liked to play during recess, but I couldn't - something was haunting me, these nightmares - I've always had nightmares every since I was 800 or so, but it was getting worse and worse. It just feels so real; so real that I feel the pain, the tears - all of it, every painful and torturing experience that is mixed into my all nightmares…just thinking about makes my hands tremble, even in this afternoon sun. I can't really explain it - it's just this feeling, this spark of fear that's growing, consuming me, haunting me, trying to claim me.
Sitting in the warm light of the sun, birds chirruping, I stayed far away from the raucous and riotous crowd of children at the playground - I needed to stay away from humans - I didn't feel quite so human right now, with these nightmare demons resting in my mind, my heart, my body. I felt so exposed to the dark and evil right now, despite the fact I was laying down in a thick grassy carpet in the sunlight. I tried to forget in vain, knowing I couldn't, and I clenched my fists as the wind blew in my face, trying to comfort me with its cooling breath. Concentrating on keeping my mind intact, my chest rising slowly, a meditative calm overpowering me, flooding my soul. I would be taken away to another world.
Sighing, I closed my eyes, trying to block out all the cussing that came from the little boys playing soccer, trying to block out all the gossip of the spoiled girls dressing up their dolls, trying to block out all the arguing children playing cops and robbers, trying to block out the *real* world. I didn't want to be there, and I didn't need to be there right now.
Suddenly, all the sound was gone. Gone.
I opened my eyes, unable to believe my ears.
Radiant rainbow butterflies and dainty white birds fluttered about the trees of the lush forest as sparkles of light drifted across the clear water that lay in front of me. Where was I, I didn't know, but it was a relaxing daydream, an escape from the usual nightmares that chased after me night after night. Still, I was reluctant to relax in this dream world - I knew, I felt that something dark and evil - those demons - would come after me the minute I dropped my guard.
But it just was so peaceful, so beautiful, that I couldn't resist touching a nearby blossom, a large, beautiful white color with a touch of powdery blue gracing its base. A trio of birds landed nearby, resting on a branch, serenading the sweet freshness of the lush scene. It didn't seem so real though, I didn't dare believe it was real, for experiences with devils before made me feel tense and precautious. "This…isn't real…"I muttered in disbelief, brushing a stray pink strand from my shoulders. But it was just so *beautiful*. Almost like...bliss. If feelings could become physical. It was indeed blissful, all the little birds and other creatures not worrying about anything; finding their bliss.
"This...can't be...real..."
/it is real/
I spun at the echoing, enchanting voice that floated in the winds of the bright blue sky in this dream. "Who?" I cried out, white flower petals swirling around my skirt. My voice seemed to carry like that mysterious voice, suspended by the light winds. Walking on the soft grass, I searched for the voice that had spoken just moments before. "Where are you? Where *am* I?" My throat was tightening in panic, in frustration that I have no idea where I was.
/it's real/
That voice again! I ran blindly after it.
"Where are you, damn it?" I screamed. "I - I don't know where I am! Can you tell me?" My voice echoed uselessly across the field. I decided to try and find a way out of this stupid place. But when I was walking down the hill, I heard the voice, closer than before, stronger, louder, a note of helplessness hanging onto the speaker's words:
/please help me/
After all my experience with battling enemies, being manipulated by evil aliens, and being turned into an evil whore by a skeleton, something - instinct, I guess - told me that it wasn't smart to trust anyone, especially if it's a mysterious voice pleading "help me". Was there a new enemy? And if there was, do they think I'm that stupid? I whirled around, ready to fight.
I didn't see an enemy.
Instead, I saw an enchanting sight - a mythical beast, standing in the middle of the tall, green grass. It was a Pegasus - or a Unicorn? The creature had beautiful pure white wings, its feathers fluttering in the light breeze, raining on the field. Feathers brushed my shoulders and fell on my odangos. I noticed a shining golden horn on its head. Its pearly white hair blew in the breeze. I heard my voice tell no one in particular: "It's beautiful…" I reached out, walked towards it, ready to touch it.
Suddenly, my hand jerked back, the strings of reason pulling hard on me again. You fool! The voices screamed in my mind, don't be stupid! He's the enemy! You have to get rid of him!
But his eyes, I replied, his eyes seem so genuine. They were intelligent and sad, vulnerable, begging for help.
The voice howled: It'll kill you, that evil thing! You must kill it! The forces of paranoia were pulling hard on my shoulders, binding me to the cross like the little puppet I was supposed to be. Kill it!
Shut up! It's not a thing! Shut up!
Of course it's a thing, everything's a thing!
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
"SHUT UP!" I yelled at the annoying voice.
"Chibiusa!?"
A teacher stood in front of me, holding a clipboard, relics of a stern expression around the stunned look on her pale face. I felt embarrassed; blush crept upon my cheeks as I looked down humbly. "Gomen nasai, sensei, ah, I was...ah, daydreaming."
"Apparently! Didn't you hear me call you?"
"Iie..."
"Well, let's hurry up, now, we're starting the lesson soon..."
I looked back to where the enchanted creature had been.
I saw something remaining of that creature - feathers. I bent down and plucked one of the ground.
They were softest thing I've ever felt; its pure white tainted only by the chips of pavement from the ground I picked it up from. Ignoring the teacher, I walked towards the school, ready to begin the lesson. I tucked the feather delicately in my pocket, because I knew it was a sign - a sign that I'd see him (or her?) again. I hope to; it was so beautiful.
*
Words and thoughts tumbled mindlessly through her as they pounded into her brain with unrelenting passion. Why, Mamoru-san? What has Usagi done to you to make you hate her? Why? Blinded by confusion, she bumped into someone and muttered a vague "hello" and "sorry" to the person without even realizing who it was, and continued slowly down the sidewalk.
Makoto blinked. Wooo, Ami looks...stoned. "Matte yo, Ami! Hey, come on! Can you hear me?"
Abruptly, her thoughts were cut through by Makoto's voice. Ami turned around and mumbled, "Oh...hi, Makoto." She couldn't help sounded depressed, like something was wrong -- well, something *was* wrong. But she didn't want to worry her friend; they had to concentrate on protecting the princess. That was the only thing that mattered, the only reason they lived.
"Ami, hey, what's up?" Makoto questioned, seeing the depressed look covering Ami's usually placid and pleasent expresssion, stormy clouds swirling in the ocean blue of her eyes, gazing at her own feet. "Have you suddenly become interested in your feet?"
She didn't answer. I don't know if I can tell her what's wrong...! Ami shut her eyes tightly, then opened them again, trying to calm herself down. How can I tell anyone? How would I tell it anyway? They wouldn't believe me...but that's not the point! She argued uselessly with herself while Makoto stamped her foot lightly, waiting for her answer. But she still didn't come back to reality, so Makoto brought her back quickly by taking three strands of Ami's hair and plucked them off, drawing a "OW!" from Ami.
"What was that for, Makoto?" Ami exclaimed, rubbing the top of her head. "That hurt!"
"That was to point, to get you out of la-la-la land! What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Ami tried to brush it off, waving her hand carelessly. "It's nothing..." Suddenly, there was a tug on her sleeve. Ami whirled around. "Urgh..." she muttered, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach -- like it had become a black hole, slowly sucking in her heart and brain.
She froze. It was Usagi.
How...? Ami couldn't move. How can I face her, after what Mamoru told me? I should tell her. But, then she...she would be so miserable. She would hate me. I don't want her to. Another voice snapped, Ami, how can you be so selfish? She deserves the truth. She is your friend, and she needs to know the truth. Tell her, you stupid girl, tell her! Usagi...Ami thought hard. What do I do? She clenched her hands together, little crescents cut out of the flesh of her palm. She didn't realize the pain, or the tiny rivers of red that splattered down her blouse, her fingers, and her skirt. The pain, the pain, the thoughts and confusion smoking with a fire of guilt. Where do I start? Should I even tell her...? No! I must, it's not right!
It was like time hung in delicate crystal particles, nothing moving, only translucent strings of diamonds, sparkling in the air.
Then she realized that she was where those crystal were.
They were real.
"Where are we...?" Usagi's voice cut into her.
"I don't know." Makoto replied.
*
"Hey, pink-hair girl, what's wrong?"
I was rudely interrupted while painting a picture. Personally, I liked how it was turning out -- it was a picture of the main characters from my favorite show on TV, Magic Knight Rayearth. The bright cloud-dotted sky was just the perfect blue and the outfits I had selected looked good. I didn't bother to look up, I recognized that snotty accent anywhere. It was Rui Yukimura. "What do you want?"
"You look so sad, why aren't you your usual happy self?"
Why is she picking on me? I thought, when the voices immediately replied. Ignore it. So I did. I was painting Hikaru's hair now, a pinkish red, darking the bangs and the hair near her neck. With a toothpick, I drew delicate blood-red lines through her long braid and her deep red eyes. Rui continued to bitch around me; I thought, can't she shut up? But no, she can't, that evil girl, she needs to die, but the voice immediately spoke up. You don't really want to. She's just a poor little girl.
Suddenly, I saw a waterfall of yellow paint rush over my painting. I snatched it away only to get yellow paint spilled on my skirt and bow. But at least my picture was okay, that was the only thing that mattered to me -- I could always change or wash it off.
Rui, however, started laughing, and it utterly pissed me off. That bitch tried to ruin my painting.
"Hey, everyone! Look at Chibiusa! What a clown!"
The voices! They rushed at me in an ocean of cruelty, crushing me in waves and waves…no! I'm not going to be crushed by a bunch of idiots! I looked over at Momo-chan. She wanted to help, I saw, but she was too scared to. I understand, Momo, I thought.
"Chibiusa the clown, Chibiusa the clown," they chanted. Not only did it piss me off, it was stupid.
I grit my teeth.
Images, images I've never seen before, flooded to my eyes as they sparkled with tears of my hurt. A girl, sitting a throne, with faeries flying around her, attending to her like she was a queen. A crown of wildflowers rested on her head. Images of bodies swamped my vision for an instant, then lush woodlands, and then a brilliant rainbow light. All the shards were suddenly replaced with a white hot energy!
"You're so stupid," Rui sneered. "Stupid girl."
Faster, faster. The energy was rushing in a rapid river.
You want to make something of it, Rui? I thought.
It's playtime.
It boiled, pulsated with a life of its own.
It exploded!!
Please review. Arigatou and ja ne!