Epilogue:
It had been three weeks since the incident at the warehouse.
Three weeks since everyone's perception of Spike had changed.
Three weeks since Buffy forced him to stay at her place until
his wounds healed. He left one week later, his physical wounds
completely healed. His emotional ones... they were still big
gaping holes that cried out for the same gentle and soothing
care his seeping chest wounds and burn marks received. And
Buffy tried to give it. But he wouldn't talk. He was allowing
himself to live in misery. In guilt.
He left two weeks ago. For his tomb. And Buffy had yet to see
him. He had hidden himself in his crypt. She knew that much.
She also knew he hadn't left said crypt either.
So, why hadn't she visited him? She honestly couldn't answer
that. Maybe she was afraid to see him like that. Although she
didn't know what happened to him, she knew it had an everlasting
affect on him. His foundation was rocked.
She told her friends about her feelings for the grief-stricken
vampire. They had been amazingly supportive. And understanding.
She had yet to tell Spike. Something else she kept putting off.
And, again, she wasn't quite sure why. She didn't have anything
to be afraid about. Her friends knew. He would be ecstatic.
So...why wait?
She was out patrolling when she found herself at his crypt.
Well, no time like the present, she thought and walked to the
door. She decided against knocking because, why start now? It
was dark in his crypt. She saw him sitting in his ratty of chair
in front of the television, staring at the blank screen, lost in
thought.
"Spike?"
He turned his head to look at her with blank eyes, "Slayer. What
are you doing here?"
"Well, you don't call. You don't write," she attempted to joke,
but quickly grew serious. "I was getting worried about you."
"Were you, now?"
"Yes, I was."
He looked at her, really looked at her, trying to understand.
"And, where did all this come from cause last I checked, you
could've care less about me."
"I've always cared."
He looked surprised but didn't say anything.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked sincerely, settling on
the sarcophagus near him.
"Talk about what?" he asked though he knew exactly what she was
talking about.
"Fine, if you don't wanna talk about it, I'll leave you alone,"
she started to leave but stopped. "Oh, yeah." She reached into
her pocket and pulled out Lizzy's locket. Silently, she handed
to him.
He took it from her slowly and opened it. He sucked in a deep
unneeded breath, "Where did you get this?"
"I found it in the warehouse after-" she paused. "I figured you'd
want to keep it."
He shook his head, "I don't deserve it."
She tilted her head to the side, confused, "Why?"
"'Why?' What do you bloody mean, 'why?!' I killed her. I killed
my sister." Tears threatened to fall but Spike pushed them away.
Buffy tried to comfort him, "What you killed wasn't your sister.
Your sister died a long time ago."
He laughed humorlessly, "It's funny hearing *you* tell *me* that.
But...towards the end...I saw a trace, you know? She was in there.
My sister was in there. And I killed her."
She hated seeing him in so much pain. "But you didn't kill her.
You killed a monster-"
His eyes shot up to meet hers, pain-filled and shocked, "Is that
what I am? Is that what you see? She asked me that very question
and you know what I told her? Yes... But if she was a monster, what
does that make me? She was a victim... She didn't want that existence.
But what about me? I may not have known what I was getting into but I
wanted it. Does that make me more of a monster?"
He looked so lost. "Spike, you're not a monster."
"If that's true, why do you tell me I am?"
He had her. She knew she told him that. Called him so many terrible
things. Been so cruel. But she knew her reason for doing so.
"Because I get scared."
He looked hurt.
"I'm afraid of letting you get too close. That's why I say those
thing. To try to push you away. But...obviously, it didn't work.
I haven't though of you as a monster for a long time."
"Why would you be afraid to let me close?"
She sighed. Now or never. "Because every man I loved...or been
with left."
"You love me?" he asked, not believing his ears. Could it be?
She smiled slightly, "You caught that part, huh?"
He moved closer to her. "Do you? Really?" He had to hear her say
it again.
"Yes. I love you, Spike."
She said it! He couldn't be happier. But something hit him.
"Why?"
She was surprised. "What?"
"Why? Why do you love me?'
"Why does it matter?'
He sighs, "It matters to me."
Realization struck. Now, she understood. He was insecure. Unsure.
And why wouldn't he be? She had spent the last year shouting horrible
things to him. She sat him down in the ratty chair he vacated and knelt
in front of him.
"I love you, William, because you have changed so much in such a short
time. You've grown past your demon and allowed your human side show.
You're smart. Funny. And you love Dawn. And me."
She placed her hand on his cheek and leaned up and kissed him sweetly.
A way she never allowed herself to before because of the implications.
He returned the kiss somewhat hesitantly at first, as if unsure this
was actually happening. She ran her hands through his hair and deepened
the kiss.
Soon, they were forced to break apart due to her need to breathe.
They rested foreheads together.
"I love you," Spike whispered.
"I love you, too," she whispered back.
And, finally, Spike believed it.
The End.
A/N: I know I may have screwed up some of the historical stuff....
but I don't care. Also, I know the ending started to become a little
sappy. Sorry. I wasn't trying to...it just happened.
Next Up: continuation of Within My Heart Are Memories - I think my
writer's block is finally lifting. YEA! And the sequel to
"Technology Doesn't Last Forever" - untitled as of now. :)
It had been three weeks since the incident at the warehouse.
Three weeks since everyone's perception of Spike had changed.
Three weeks since Buffy forced him to stay at her place until
his wounds healed. He left one week later, his physical wounds
completely healed. His emotional ones... they were still big
gaping holes that cried out for the same gentle and soothing
care his seeping chest wounds and burn marks received. And
Buffy tried to give it. But he wouldn't talk. He was allowing
himself to live in misery. In guilt.
He left two weeks ago. For his tomb. And Buffy had yet to see
him. He had hidden himself in his crypt. She knew that much.
She also knew he hadn't left said crypt either.
So, why hadn't she visited him? She honestly couldn't answer
that. Maybe she was afraid to see him like that. Although she
didn't know what happened to him, she knew it had an everlasting
affect on him. His foundation was rocked.
She told her friends about her feelings for the grief-stricken
vampire. They had been amazingly supportive. And understanding.
She had yet to tell Spike. Something else she kept putting off.
And, again, she wasn't quite sure why. She didn't have anything
to be afraid about. Her friends knew. He would be ecstatic.
So...why wait?
She was out patrolling when she found herself at his crypt.
Well, no time like the present, she thought and walked to the
door. She decided against knocking because, why start now? It
was dark in his crypt. She saw him sitting in his ratty of chair
in front of the television, staring at the blank screen, lost in
thought.
"Spike?"
He turned his head to look at her with blank eyes, "Slayer. What
are you doing here?"
"Well, you don't call. You don't write," she attempted to joke,
but quickly grew serious. "I was getting worried about you."
"Were you, now?"
"Yes, I was."
He looked at her, really looked at her, trying to understand.
"And, where did all this come from cause last I checked, you
could've care less about me."
"I've always cared."
He looked surprised but didn't say anything.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked sincerely, settling on
the sarcophagus near him.
"Talk about what?" he asked though he knew exactly what she was
talking about.
"Fine, if you don't wanna talk about it, I'll leave you alone,"
she started to leave but stopped. "Oh, yeah." She reached into
her pocket and pulled out Lizzy's locket. Silently, she handed
to him.
He took it from her slowly and opened it. He sucked in a deep
unneeded breath, "Where did you get this?"
"I found it in the warehouse after-" she paused. "I figured you'd
want to keep it."
He shook his head, "I don't deserve it."
She tilted her head to the side, confused, "Why?"
"'Why?' What do you bloody mean, 'why?!' I killed her. I killed
my sister." Tears threatened to fall but Spike pushed them away.
Buffy tried to comfort him, "What you killed wasn't your sister.
Your sister died a long time ago."
He laughed humorlessly, "It's funny hearing *you* tell *me* that.
But...towards the end...I saw a trace, you know? She was in there.
My sister was in there. And I killed her."
She hated seeing him in so much pain. "But you didn't kill her.
You killed a monster-"
His eyes shot up to meet hers, pain-filled and shocked, "Is that
what I am? Is that what you see? She asked me that very question
and you know what I told her? Yes... But if she was a monster, what
does that make me? She was a victim... She didn't want that existence.
But what about me? I may not have known what I was getting into but I
wanted it. Does that make me more of a monster?"
He looked so lost. "Spike, you're not a monster."
"If that's true, why do you tell me I am?"
He had her. She knew she told him that. Called him so many terrible
things. Been so cruel. But she knew her reason for doing so.
"Because I get scared."
He looked hurt.
"I'm afraid of letting you get too close. That's why I say those
thing. To try to push you away. But...obviously, it didn't work.
I haven't though of you as a monster for a long time."
"Why would you be afraid to let me close?"
She sighed. Now or never. "Because every man I loved...or been
with left."
"You love me?" he asked, not believing his ears. Could it be?
She smiled slightly, "You caught that part, huh?"
He moved closer to her. "Do you? Really?" He had to hear her say
it again.
"Yes. I love you, Spike."
She said it! He couldn't be happier. But something hit him.
"Why?"
She was surprised. "What?"
"Why? Why do you love me?'
"Why does it matter?'
He sighs, "It matters to me."
Realization struck. Now, she understood. He was insecure. Unsure.
And why wouldn't he be? She had spent the last year shouting horrible
things to him. She sat him down in the ratty chair he vacated and knelt
in front of him.
"I love you, William, because you have changed so much in such a short
time. You've grown past your demon and allowed your human side show.
You're smart. Funny. And you love Dawn. And me."
She placed her hand on his cheek and leaned up and kissed him sweetly.
A way she never allowed herself to before because of the implications.
He returned the kiss somewhat hesitantly at first, as if unsure this
was actually happening. She ran her hands through his hair and deepened
the kiss.
Soon, they were forced to break apart due to her need to breathe.
They rested foreheads together.
"I love you," Spike whispered.
"I love you, too," she whispered back.
And, finally, Spike believed it.
The End.
A/N: I know I may have screwed up some of the historical stuff....
but I don't care. Also, I know the ending started to become a little
sappy. Sorry. I wasn't trying to...it just happened.
Next Up: continuation of Within My Heart Are Memories - I think my
writer's block is finally lifting. YEA! And the sequel to
"Technology Doesn't Last Forever" - untitled as of now. :)