Chapter Thirteen
He glanced at the wedding tuxedo, and his head began to throb.
What's wrong with me? I've been in this mood for days! Snap out of it, Sakuragi Hanamichi!
Rubbing his temples wearily, he looked away and grabbed a loose blue shirt from the folded pile sitting neatly on the polished beige-colored row of shelves. Pulling it on, he did a quick turnabout and left the sudden claustrophobia of the walk-in closet. Moving swiftly to his large poster bed, he sat down on the side, before sprawling out and lying back on the sheets.
Okay. Let's think about this. –All– of this. Calmly.
Just a few months ago, I was certain about my life. I have a great job, and that doesn't seem to be the issue here. I asked the love of my life to marry me, and she said yes. We're getting married today. So what's the problem?
He grabbed a pillow from the side and buried his face in it.
Now let's take a look at what I should be feeling right now. I should be nervous, yes, and I should be indescribably happy. I should be excited, breathless with anticipation, and truly, truly happy deep in my heart.
He groaned aloud into the pillow.
Why aren't I feeling like that?
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They lay together, exhausted from their earlier activity, the older of the two already peacefully asleep, wrapped tightly in the arms of the one who lay awake. Looking down at the beloved face, inhaling deeply the scent of his lover, the younger man closed his eyes and leaned forward, nuzzling softly into the other's warm neck.
I can't believe he came back to me.
Tentatively running his fingers over the taller man's pale skin, reveling in the familiar touch, he sighed quietly and was content just for that.
Akira…I love you so, so much. Sometimes I feel that my heart would burst just from your smile. It's amazing how my world revolves around you. Every new day I just find something different about you to love.
He kissed the soft earlobe of the other man gently.
I think about another man, yet I still feel the same way for you. I wonder how his lips will taste, yet my blood still hungers for the sweetness of your mouth. I want to touch him, to see how he feels, and yet my fingers still long for your skin.
Settling back into a comfortable position, he savored the moment, living and breathing each second.
Knowing me…even knowing I think of another…you still love me…Akira…
I would die without you.
He exhaled deeply, and then slowly drifted off to a light sleep. Outside, the sun was just beginning to rise, casting gentle orange glows through the windows and onto the floor.
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He stared up at the ceiling as the deep reddish rays of the rising sun intruded the sanctity of the dark bedroom. He stayed that way a moment longer, before rising in one fluid motion and getting to his feet.
Outside, the bustle was already beginning.
He glanced towards his closet again, and then made up his mind. Grabbing a denim jacket from the stand, he shoved his feet into the black and red running shoes he had just bought the other day. And without any further thought he opened the door and began to run.
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Haruko rose and walked to the mirror, smiling tremulously at the reflection in the mirror. She was so excited already. Today is the day…I get married to Sakuragi-kun…
Unable to contain herself, laughter bubbled up from her throat. The sunlight seemed to throw any reserves she had had earlier away.
Picking up a comb from the pastel-toned dresser, she ran it through her long brown hair, smoothening out the tangles and humming to herself. She could hear her parents talking downstairs, and her brother's gruff voice. Just then, the doorbell rang. Dismissing it as nothing but the start of a hectic day, she skipped towards the bathroom when she heard her mother's astonished voice.
"Sakuragi?"
And from below, the familiar voice was clear and determined.
"The wedding's off."